by Selena Kitt
What have I done?
At the first graze of his teeth to my nipple, every muscle in my body stiffened. I held my breath, not knowing if he planned to serve pain or pleasure, and not knowing was excruciating. He sucked my nipple into the scorching cavity of his mouth. I wasn’t sure if I whimpered or moaned—maybe it was a little of both. His fingers teased my other breast, and he trailed a hand down my stomach, making my muscles quiver beneath his touch. He dipped a finger into my wetness, teasing a moment before he pulled away.
Nothing could have prepared me for the first strike between my thighs. I would have screamed if he’d left me with the choice. Good God, he was whipping my most intimate place. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to hurt me. My legs cramped with each strike, and I sobbed for mercy as tears escaped the blindfold.
Several long minutes passed. I was beginning to grow numb when the heat of his mouth replaced the whip. I jerked to my toes as his tongue swirled the pain away with expert strokes, delving deeper as he simultaneously released my ankles from the restraints. He lifted me, urged my legs around his shoulders, and probed my ass with a finger as he kissed me intimately. The closer his tongue brought me to oblivion, the more I gave myself over to him.
I wanted to come so badly—was certain I begged for it in muffled pleas—but knew it was off-limits. Gage Channing knew how to take a woman to the edge, and he was even better at pulling back at the last second. He did it relentlessly. Tears dripped from my chin onto my heaving breasts, and I could think of nothing but how I wish he’d let me come…let me fall into oblivion where nothing had the power to touch me.
He abruptly pulled away, leaving me suspended in a combination of anticipation and apprehension. I had no way to measure time, and the longer he left me there—bound, gagged, unable to see, hear, or speak—the closer I reached hysteria. Where was he? Surely he wouldn’t leave me alone like this? In the midst of my thundering heartbeat, I suddenly remembered his words over the weekend.
“You need to learn to trust me.”
Was this a test? Gage wasn’t careless—he’d said as much himself. He was probably standing in front of me, enjoying my internal struggle not to let blinding panic take over. I couldn’t help but wonder what made a man like him tick. He’d certainly pushed me to my limits and beyond, and I was positive he was sporting a raging erection at witnessing my helplessness.
I jerked when something cold pressed against my nipples, and when he clamped them to an unbearable pinch, I screeched around the gag, my throat on fire from the strain. Only his tongue on my clit had the power to distract me. He took me to the edge again, almost pushed me over, but like the cruel sadist he was, he pulled away at the last second. Gage removed the gag, blindfold, earplugs…released my hands. I slumped into his arms, and his mouth plundered mine as he carried me to bed. We dipped into the mattress as one.
“Do you belong to me?” Bracing above me, he looked into my eyes.
“Yes, Master,” I mumbled, studying him through the haze. “Why do you like to hurt me?”
He brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. Several moments went by, in which he ran his hands through my hair, trailed his fingers down my collarbone, and teased the valley between my breasts. He pulled on the clamps and yanked painfully.
“Knowing that I can do anything to you, that I can bring you intense pain or pleasure…there’s no better feeling than that.”
His mouth was on mine before I was able to respond. He removed the clamps and fondled my breasts, then squeezed and pinched, refusing to let go until I begged him to stop. Sitting back long enough to unbutton his slacks, he kicked them off before carelessly flinging them across the room. He attacked my mouth again, burying his hands in my hair as he wedged apart my legs. I moaned deep in my throat as he slid into me.
This was not the Gage I’d come to know over the weekend. This man was different, his brutality in direct contrast with his gentleness; he confused the heck out of me. So did my eager response to him. He laced our fingers together and held my hands to the bed. Every thrust was sensual yet demanding, each plunge a testament of his possession and power.
“Look at me, Kayla.”
I found his eyes and couldn’t have looked away if I tried.
“Who am I?”
“My Master…” I curled my fingers around his until my nails bit into his skin. He didn’t even flinch. I arched up to meet his thrusts. “I want you,” I gasped. “Let me come, Master.”
“No.” He let go of my hands and gripped my hair, yanking my head back hard. “Control it, you don’t have my permission. I’ll deny you all weekend if you disobey me.”
“Oh God! Please…I can’t…please…”
He pulled out and pumped his cock in the palm of his hand until he spilled onto my stomach.
I stared at him in shock. I’d been so out of my mind, I’d failed to notice that he hadn’t used a condom. The mixture of our heavy breathing filled the basement for several long moments. Gage broke it with a voice left husky from his orgasm.
“I want nothing more than to make you come. When I do, you’ll never want to leave me.” He collapsed beside me and rolled onto his back.
I shuddered at the implication of his words. For the first time since entering into this madness, I doubted his intentions. What if he wanted more from me than six weeks? What the hell was I supposed to do then?
“Your daughter is going to be okay.” The change of subject intruded upon my thoughts, and a different fear arose.
“I don’t know what I’ll do if she…”
“I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she has the best doctors, the best treatments.”
I rolled to my side and looked at him. “Thank you.”
He grabbed my chin. “Who am I?” His eyes hypnotized me as they searched my face.
“You’re my Master.”
“I’ll hold up my end of the bargain, so long as you hold up yours.” He gave me a wry smile. “I’m not heartless, Kayla, despite what you might think when I’m whipping you or shoving my cock into this tempting mouth of yours.” He cradled my head and kissed me; a deep, tender exchange of tongues that made me throb between my legs all over again. He broke away and brushed his thumb across my lips. “I can’t wait to fuck you here again.”
My heart thudded at the reminder. “What about the gossip at work, Master? Someone found out.”
“I’ll take care of it. I have an idea of who’s behind the rumors. She’s only guessing because she’s been in my office on her knees a time or two.”
I wanted to ask if it was Katherine but refrained from giving voice to the question. “How do you know, Master?”
“Nothing goes on in my office without my knowing.”
Gage sat up and pulled on his slacks. “I’ll have a new contract drawn up to eliminate your safe word.” He paused for a moment. “This changes things, Kayla. It’s more responsibility for both of us. I’m giving you a homework assignment to help you prepare for what’s to come. I want you to write a thousand word research paper on what it means to be a slave. I expect you to learn how to please and obey me.”
Dread sat heavy in my gut, and I wondered what I’d gotten myself into.
“And I have one more stipulation, non-negotiable.” He got to his feet and turned to me. “I demand absolute honesty from you. No lies, and no withholding anything from me. If I find out you’ve lied or kept something from me, you won’t be punished—you’ll go straight to jail. Do you understand?”
A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed. “There’s something you need to know, Master.”
“What is it?”
“The man from college…the one you asked about? He’s back. He works at the hospital.”
“Why is this something you think I need to know?”
“Because he’s stopped by Eve’s room a couple of times, Master.”
Gage’s mouth flattened into a hard line. “Then you’ll tell him you don’t want to see him again.” He z
ipped up his pants and gave me a hard look. “And you won’t. I’ll see you tomorrow at the office. Don’t forget to write in your journal tonight, and for God’s sakes, go eat something. You’re already so damn thin.”
He climbed the stairs without a backward glance.
Chapter Five
Office Politics
I didn’t know what to expect the following morning when I arrived at work, but I had to admit to being shocked that not a single person looked my way as I exited the elevator. Most noticeable was Katherine’s absence. An older woman sat in her place; she answered the phone as I passed by on my way to Gage’s office. Holding his coffee in one hand, I knocked on his door with the other…and froze as a loud moan filtered through. I was debating on what to do when the door jerked open a few moments later. Katherine aimed her iciest glare in my direction as she brushed by me.
“Come in, Kayla.” Gage casually zipped his pants and took a seat behind his desk. “Shut the door.”
I went to do as told, only I didn’t merely shut the damn thing—I slammed my fingers in the process. “Ow!” The coffee dropped to my feet, coating my heels in brown liquid. Gage shot up and crossed the office before I could take a breath.
“Let me see.” He grabbed my hand and inspected my fingers. “They’re a little purple, but they don’t appear broken.”
I couldn’t see beyond the front of his pants; he hadn’t tucked in his shirt fully. “Did I do something wrong, Master?”
His eyes zeroed in on my face, eyebrows slightly raised. “Why would you think that?”
“Well…I’m assuming Katherine was in here doing what I…did yesterday?”
His mouth twitched. “Does that bother you?”
Not for the reason he apparently assumed it did. I couldn’t afford to displease him, and if he felt the need to go to other women… “No, I just don’t want to displease you, Master.” I’d started my research the previous night and had been overwhelmed with information. Being a “proper” or “good” slave wouldn’t be the easiest thing I ever did. I was beginning to understand what Gage wanted from me; he wanted me meek and pliable, willing to drop to my knees on demand and obey his every command. He expected me to anticipate his needs, as his pleasure was to be my first priority, as was serving him.
The center of my being revolted at the notion, but I’d do it for Eve.
“You do please me.”
“Do you want me on my knees, Master?”
“No. We’ll keep our office relationship as normal as possible, notwithstanding special circumstances.” He tilted my chin up so I met his gaze head on. “Katherine was in here because I fired her. Considering what she pulled yesterday, sucking my cock was a fitting punishment.” He smirked. “Or rather, my reaction afterward was. She thought she could manipulate me with her mouth.”
Hadn’t I had a similar thought yesterday? What the hell was happening to me? He was drawing me in, and I was helpless to stop it. Just remembering how he had the power to cast me into a void so intense in pleasure was enough to stall my breath. I was addicted to that void…that blissful escape from reality. I’d stumbled onto the term “subspace,” and now I wondered if Gage was sending me there with every strike of his whip, every scorching touch of his mouth and hands. I couldn’t deny he was one of the sexiest men I’d set eyes on, and on some level I was very much attracted to him, whether I liked it or not.
But I wasn’t in love with him. I’d move on when our six weeks ended.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Am I that obvious?”
“You wear everything on your face, Kayla. You always have.”
My first instinct was to lie, but then I remembered his non-negotiable terms—terms I assumed he’d have me sign today. “I was thinking how I’d move on from you when this is all over.”
His eyes darkened. “Can’t wait to get away from me, huh?”
I wrung my hands. “You won’t like the truth, Master.”
“Maybe not, but I demand it.”
“I can’t be who you want me to be. I’ll pretend for Eve’s sake, and I’ll do whatever I have to in the meantime, but it’ll be a lie. As soon as our six weeks are up, I’ll walk.”
Gage slid his hand along my cheek. “We’ll see.” He returned to his desk. “The company Christmas party is this Friday night. We’ll attend together.” He’d switched gears so fast, my head spun.
“Won’t that fuel the gossip?”
He waved away my concern. “No one will dare treat you badly after today. You have nothing to worry about.” He leaned back in his chair. “As far as anyone needs to know, you and I are dating. I’m not about to squander the opportunity to have you on my arm for the next five weeks.” He focused his attention on his computer. “Let’s get to work.”
I hastily pulled out my iPad as he began dictating to me. After he’d armed me with the day’s instructions, he slid a piece of paper across the desk. “Your new contract. No safe word, and no lies.” A pen accompanied the paper.
My hand shook as I scrawled my name at the bottom. “Master…will you let me visit Eve on Friday? I won’t be long—I just can’t stand the thought of going a whole two days without seeing her, especially now that her condition is so rocky.”
“I’ll give you an hour. And if you behave well, you can call the hospital on Saturday too.”
“Thank you.” I let out a breath. Deep down, I hadn’t expected him to say yes.
“Speaking of the hospital, do you expect to get a visit from Dr. Kaplan this evening?”
I froze at his words. “I don’t know, Master.”
“Don’t forget what you have to do. I want him out of your life, is that clear?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Good, then I’ll see you at lunchtime.” Gage casually dismissed me as he went back to work.
I left his office, and only after I’d closed the door did it occur to me that I’d never mentioned Ian’s name.
Chapter Six
Reminiscent Rain
The week passed amidst a torrential downpour before I saw Ian again. Caught up in the daily grind of work and spending every free moment at the hospital, I wasn’t prepared to face him yet. If I was being honest, I wouldn’t ever be ready to cast him aside again. I watched Eve slumber peacefully, grateful for the hour Gage had given me, and thought back to the day seven years ago when I told Ian goodbye. We’d stood in my driveway, too consumed with despair to care about the rainstorm soaking us. After being inseparable friends for three years, we’d finally given in to the feelings neither of us could deny any longer. If I had to list my favorite moments in life, that night with Ian would be at the top. No one had ever made me feel the way he had…cherished, worshipped, loved.
But then everything fell apart when I realized I was pregnant with Rick’s baby. Rick and I had been together for a year—a rocky on-again, off-again year filled with screaming arguments and too many tears to count. He’d revealed a hint of his dark nature as the months went by: jealous, possessive, mean-spirited. I’d eventually hit a crossroads—either continue down a destructive path with him, or risk my friendship with Ian by turning it into something more. I’d chosen the latter, experienced a small taste of happiness, and had thrown it all away before something truly amazing could bloom. Going back to my ex had been a misguided attempt at doing the right thing by my baby.
How naive I’d been. I closed my eyes to the memory of that first beating, the one that began them all…the one that ended my first pregnancy just shy of twelve weeks. Even now I asked myself why I’d stayed so long…even knowing how I would never regret the decision; Eve wouldn’t be here if I’d left sooner. I didn’t allow myself to think of the past often, but I didn’t have a choice now. The memories seeped through the cracks of the metaphorical room in which I’d locked them. They flooded me, especially the night I’d told Ian I didn’t love him. Raindrops had disguised his tears, but not the devastation in the depths of those hazel eyes I still dreamed a
bout seven years later.
“Hey, if you’re gonna cry every time I come near you, maybe I should bring chocolate.” I raised my head and found the object of my thoughts standing in the doorway. He frowned, despite the light tone of his words, and closed the door behind him. “How’s Eve?”
I took a deep breath. “You should go.”
“You have a habit of telling me that.” He folded his arms and leaned against the door.
“I can’t handle seeing you right now. Eve started a new treatment yesterday, and I’m under a lot of pressure at work right now…” Under Gage Channing’s watchful eye. “I’m glad you’re back, but I think we need a few weeks to let things settle first.”
“Meaning you’re gonna barricade yourself from people and deal with her illness alone.” He shook his head and pulled up a chair, legs scraping the linoleum, and settled across from me on the other side of the bed. “You look like hell. Have you gotten any sleep at all?”
“Not much,” I admitted quietly. Unable to tear myself away as the weekend approached, I’d slept at Eve’s bedside for the past two nights. “You really need to go.”
He leaned forward, and his eyes—greener today than usual—froze me to the spot. “Don’t shut me out. I won’t walk away this time. I’ve regretted it every day for seven years.”
“I need you to stay away from me and Eve for the next few weeks. Please…I’m begging you.”
“Why?”
“I can’t tell you—” I broke off, cringing at the slip-up. “Please, just go.”
“You’re worrying me, Kayla.” He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” Firming my resolve, I met his unyielding stare. “I need for you to leave me alone. I don’t want to see you, or hear from you—”
He sprung to his feet, and every muscle in his body tensed. “So we’re doing this again? Is it someone else? If you’re involved with someone, just say so. I won’t like it, but I can deal with it.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, and his shoulders relaxed a fraction as he waited for a reply.
