Elliot had nothing to answer to this outpouring. He gave Mrs. Rossmoran a polite nod as he obediently took the seat, and she charged along.
“Juliana’s mother charmed prim and proper St. John into marriage for his money all right, smooth as butter, then she ignored him, bought more clothes than any woman has need for, and completely neglected her daughter. Mrs. St. John let the servants do as they pleased, and mostly they didn’t please to do anything. And so poor little Juliana was left quite to herself. It isn’t good for a child to be alone like that. Oh, she had nannies, a proper governess, and finishing school—her father was not the sort to forget about her education—but her playmates were footmen and maids, her confidants the housekeeper and butler. Any polish Miss St. John acquired she managed to put on herself, never mind that fine academy she attended, which I thought a waste of time and money.”
Elliot recalled how, the few times he’d visited Juliana’s home with Ainsley in his youth, they’d been banished from any room Mrs. St. John might enter. Juliana had pretended she didn’t mind—it was a fact of life that children did not mingle much with their parents—but Elliot had seen Juliana’s hurt when her mother did happen to cross their path and never noticed her daughter in front of her.
“Don’t look so surprised at my knowing all this, lad. I might be buried out here, but I know every Scottish family this side of the country and on up into the Orkneys, and I get stacks and stacks of letters.”
Fiona brought over the tea tray and placed it on the table. “She does, Mr. McBride. Every day, letters and letters. And sends a pile out herself.”
“So I know all about your young wife,” Mrs. Rossmoran said, signaling Fiona to serve Elliot first. “She’s a good lass, from what I hear. I did shake my head when I learned she was to marry Mr. Barclay. Not a good match for her. He’s an incomer without much to recommend him, his family dull as ditchwater. Thank heavens he eloped, but with all things, a piano teacher! Well, may she have the joy of him.”
Elliot accepted his tea. “I’m just as happy he stepped out of the way.”
Mrs. Rossmoran took the cup Fiona gave her in both hands, but she didn’t tremble. “Of course you are. I always thought you and young Juliana would make a couple. Helps that she’s such friends with your sister, and your brother and her father thick in finance. Though why a man has truck with finance, I don’t know. But these days, there’s not much in the land anymore, and bankers and merchants rule the world. I hear you have quite a penny put by.”
“A bit.” Elliot drank his tea. Conversation with Mrs. Rossmoran was proving to be refreshing—Elliot didn’t have to say a word.
“Made it out of the subcontinent, didn’t you? So many go out there to make their fortunes, and they end up destitute, or dead of disease, or addicted to some noxious substance. But that never happened to you, eh? Ye kept your head and made money off foolish Englishmen who wanted you to teach them how to make money there.” Mrs. Rossmoran chuckled. “Wise, lad. When I was a girl, I watched the Sassenachs drive away the Scottish farmers and burn out tenants so they could turn Scotland into one big sheep pasture. Fitting that one of our own took away the money all those sheep made for them.”
It hadn’t been quite that simple, but Elliot didn’t bother correcting her. Her outpouring was lightening his darkness a little.
“So what are you going to do, eh?” Mrs. Rossmoran paused to take a sip of tea. “Young Hamish says you’re mad as a hatter. You look sane enough to me, but Hamish says you’re a raving madman sometimes. My grandnephew likes to exaggerate, but the core of what he says is true. Have you seen a doctor about it?”
“I have. He wasn’t much use.” Patrick had suggested a specialist, who’d listened to Elliot, taken his pulse, said Hmm a lot, and prescribed a course of barley water.
Mrs. Rossmoran sniffed. “Doctors only tell you what you pay them to tell you. I wager he gave you some foul muck in a black bottle that will do you no good at all. Or he says it’s all nonsense and you need to stiffen your resolve. But doctors are too young these days, coming out of schools with highfalutin ideas about what goes on inside the body. They pay no attention to what goes on inside people’s lives, do they?” She patted Elliot’s kilt-clad knee. “What you’re doing is grieving, lad. Grieving for yourself. Because what ye were is gone, isn’t it? You’ve seen too much, and you’ve been hurt too much. The man you were will never come back.”
All true. Every word was true. Hearing this blunt assessment coming out of Mrs. Rossmoran’s small, pursed mouth was both startling and comforting.
“You’ve started off well, though, in your marrying,” Mrs. Rossmoran said. “You stick with her, lad, and you’ll do fine.”
“Aye. I can agree with that.”
Mrs. Rossmoran laughed, showing she’d lost a good many of her back teeth. “I thought you would. Saw the twinkle in your eye. That’s what ye need, lad. Bairns. A good many of them. Ye get on home and get to it.”
Elliot departed not long later, swimming with tea and full of shortbread that Fiona had served hot from the oven. Nothing for it but that Elliot should wrap up half of it to take home with him.
Mrs. Rossmoran might have something, he thought as he climbed along the side of a hill, well under the trees, heading in the direction of Castle McGregor. Bairns.
Elliot always felt better when he was with Priti. How much better would he feel if he and Juliana surrounded themselves with more wee ones, all red haired like their mother? A whole nursery of children for Priti to play with and for Elliot to bask in.
The steps he’d have to take in order to bring in those wee ones made his heart lighter.
His body warmed at the memory of Juliana in the dining room, her body under his on the table, how fine it had been to climb into bed with her later and draw her back against his body. He would have done more if he hadn’t had to spend considerable time calming down McGregor. Tonight he would—
The woods didn’t change, and only silence flooded it. But Elliot halted, every nerve alert.
He scanned the hill that rose to his left, its towering trees cutting off his line of sight in that direction. But he knew. The prickle in the back of his neck told him.
There was a watcher in these woods.
And he was watching Elliot.
The thought rose—Please, not again—but Elliot squelched it. He was mad, yes, but his madness couldn’t make an entire wood go silent.
Woods teemed with life. Birds, beasts, and insects lived out their existence in their particular strip of territory—they were born, raised, ventured from the nest, found mates, raised their own young, and died. All that life made noise.
A silent wood meant a predator, one so deadly that all animals stilled, as Elliot did. That predator might be a bear, a wolf, or more likely these days, a human.
How long Elliot stood unmoving under the noiseless trees, he wasn’t certain.
Gradually, the sounds began to return. A robin called, another challenged. Undergrowth rustled—squirrels or rabbits returning to their business.
Elliot scanned the hill again. Nothing had changed. But the animals knew, as Elliot knew, that the hunter had gone.
He remembered now why he’d gone to the boiler room, his excitement in finding the trapdoor. He remembered what he’d been looking for before his mind had seized him and transported him to the past.
Elliot started walking, fast, faster, until he was running down the slope, back to discover whether he’d been right.
Mahindar informed Juliana that Elliot was not there when she arrived home from her call to the Terrells, but before she had the chance to worry, Elliot came striding in through the open front door.
“Juliana, come with me.”
He was out of breath and walking swiftly, but his eyes were alight with determination.
Juliana opened her mouth to ask where he wanted to take her, but closed it when he shoved a shortbread-scented package at Mahindar, grabbed Juliana by the hand, and started pulling her
to the kitchen.
“May I at least take off my hat?” she asked.
Elliot frowned down at the hat’s saucy tilt of brim, the feathers that curled over the crown, and the ruche of ribbon in the front. He wasn’t studying the hat, Juliana realized, but deciding a way to conquer it.
His fingers made short work of the pins, then he lifted off the hat and tossed it into the hands of Channan, who’d hurried out of the kitchen to join them.
Elliot took Juliana’s hand again and towed her onward, through the kitchen, down the stairs in the back of the scullery, and to the darkness of the cellar and the heat of the boiler room.
At least the boiler was working now. A red flicker came from the great hulk of iron in the corner, which would heat water for the kitchen, and with luck and time, the bathrooms upstairs. By this light, Elliot lit two candle lanterns and passed her one.
Mahindar appeared in the doorway. “Sahib, why are you down here again?”
Elliot handed Mahindar his lantern, shed his coat, pushed up his sleeves, and hauled open the heavy trapdoor.
“Because I remembered why I came down here this morning.” He took the lantern back from Mahindar. “You stay up here,” he told the man. “I want someone to know where we are in case the door falls closed, and I can’t open it. Which is what happened to me this morning.”
“Ah,” Mahindar said, as though that explained everything.
“Juliana?” Elliot asked. “Are you willing to explore with me?”
“Perhaps the memsahib will want to change her dress,” Mahindar said. “It is powerfully dirty down there.”
Juliana glanced down at her rust-colored silk. She had liked the gown when she’d put it on, but now it was tainted by the fact that she’d worn it to meet the Dalrymples. Elliot was impatient, and Juliana didn’t want to take the time to go upstairs and change.
“That’s all right,” she said. “After all, I’ve worn it once now.”
The flippant remark did not have the desired effect. Elliot said nothing, and Mahindar looked distressed. “Wait, I beg you. Wait one moment.”
He dashed off and came running back in less than a minute with a large, white, flapping garment. He set Juliana’s lantern on the floor, bunched up the garment, and dropped it over Juliana’s head.
It was one of Mahindar’s, Juliana realized as she settled it, the long shirts that went over his white trousers. This one was clean and large enough to cover most of Juliana’s gown.
“I don’t want to ruin it,” Juliana said.
Mahindar waved that away and shoved the lantern back into her hand. “I have many. Go. Go.”
Elliot lowered himself into the hole, set his lantern on the edge, and reached up to lift Juliana down with him.
He had to stoop in the low room below, but this time, the closeness did not appear to worry him. As soon as Juliana had steadied herself next to him, Elliot led her onward.
“I have something I must tell you,” Juliana said as she followed Elliot into the bowels of the old castle. “I’m afraid it concerns Mr. Archibald Stacy.”
Elliot did not answer. He strode on quickly, despite having to bend head and shoulders, and Juliana hurried to keep up with him.
“You are most exasperating, Elliot McBride,” she said.
He reached back and took her hand again. “I know.”
His strong grip was a lifeline, pulling her through the dark. Their lamps were weak, candles illuminating only small circles of space. Hamish had promised that kerosene was on its way to the house, although perhaps wax candles inside tin lanterns were a bit safer down in this unknown darkness.
“Where are we going?” Juliana whispered. There was no need to whisper, but the dense warmth around them seemed to require it.
Elliot answered in normal tones, sounding perfectly sane. “When I was a lad, I found the plans of the old castle in one of the books in Uncle McGregor’s library. The castle had been a giant of a place, with underground storage and living quarters, in case of siege. Uncle McGregor brought me down here and showed me a little of it then, and I started exploring it again after I bought the place.”
“People lived down here?” Juliana shivered. Such a maze, the roof so low. It would have been appallingly dark, the inhabitants not having even the good candles she and Elliot carried now.
“They lived here when they had to,” Elliot said. “Uncle McGregor says the McPhersons raided often in those days, and the McGregors would hide the women and children and anything else valuable down here.”
“Mr. McPherson seems quite congenial to be descended from raiders. By the bye, he sends the message that you’re welcome to fish or shoot on his estate anytime you wish.”
“Six hundred years ago, the McPhersons were brutal warriors, and so were the McGregors. It was a long feud. Times change; people don’t.”
Whatever that meant, he didn’t explain.
“Elliot,” Juliana said as he took her onward through the darkness. “I know I am supposed to be an obedient wife, letting my husband decide my fate unquestioningly. But I’m afraid I never had good examples of obedient wives in my life. My mother did as she pleased. My stepmother is a bit more considerate of other people’s wants, but Gemma makes no secret of her opinions. So I must ask you—do you intend to live at Castle McGregor for the rest of your life, exploring the old castle and walking about the Highlands? Or may we, at some point, return to civilization? If only for a brief interlude? My wardrobe will soon be depleted at the rate we are carrying on.”
Elliot straightened abruptly, and Juliana realized they’d stepped into a room whose ceiling rose high enough for him to stand at his full height. Juliana’s candle beam didn’t reach the roof, but she felt the vastness of wherever they were, the cool draft that meant clean air flowed from somewhere.
“We won’t be returning to Edinburgh yet,” Elliot said absently, flashing around his lantern.
“I do understand that too many people at once unnerve you,” Juliana said. “You have been out of the habit of seeing company, and people do tend to whisper about you. I know this. In fact, I’m very surprised you came to Edinburgh at all, though so fortunate for me to find you lurking on my wedding day.”
“Of course I went to Edinburgh.”
His voice held a sharp note, and Juliana found his attention fixed hard on her, his gray eyes glittering silver in the candlelight.
“To attend my wedding?” Juliana asked him, her voice faint. “How civil of you.”
She’d sent the invitation to Rona inviting The McBride Family. Juliana had told herself that she’d worded the missive that way because she had no way of knowing whether the three younger male McBrides would be in the country for the occasion.
But Juliana knew she’d never have been able to pen an invitation to Elliot specifically. Keeping the request general, she’d avoided having to write Elliot’s name.
Elliot’s hand, still around hers, gripped harder. “I didn’t go to Edinburgh to attend your bloody wedding. I went to stop it.”
Juliana blinked. “To stop…?”
His gray gaze was so sharp it cut. “Of course to stop it, lass. Do you think I’d allow anyone but me to marry my Juliana?”
Chapter 13
“But…” Juliana’s mouth went dry. His gaze was filled with hot determination, the Elliot who’d carved a place for himself in a faraway land and didn’t let nearly a year of imprisonment kill him. “If you didn’t want me to marry Grant, why wait until my wedding day to speak?”
“Because I knew I’d have the best chance to win you if I stood up in the church and told the world that I had reason not to let you be joined to Barclay.”
“What reason?” she asked, barely audible. A person could stop a wedding if they could prove that one party was already married to someone else, or that the two in question were too closely related, or that the marriage had been forced—none of which applied in the case of Juliana and Grant.
“I would have said that Juliana was m
y lass, had always been mine. That I wasn’t stepping aside for any other.”
He had more in his eyes than he ever said in words—raw pain behind the gray, the loneliness of a man who thought he’d be alone forever.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Juliana asked, voice still soft but thick with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me when I was waiting to marry him, when I knew I couldn’t have you?”
Elliot dropped her hand and flashed his lantern around again. “Because what would you have seen if I’d come crawling to you when I came home from India? A broken man, one afraid of the dark and equally afraid of the light. I was nothing.” His voice was fierce. “You’ve seen what I still do. You wouldn’t have wanted a husband like me—or ye’d have married me out of pity, and I couldn’t have stood that. I wanted to have something to give ye. A house, a husband who could walk upright most days…”
Juliana stood still, unable to move. Her breath came sharply, cut off by the tight lacing of her corset. One thought stood out among the rest—she hadn’t known how Elliot had felt about her. All these years, when she’d thought of him, craved to be with him, knowing he was wandering the wide world, out of her reach—he’d been thinking of her.
“You ought to have told me,” she whispered.
Elliot didn’t change expression, but she saw the windows to his soul shutter to her again. “You know now.”
He turned away, moving off into the darkness.
Juliana hurried after him, her heart pounding. She moved back and forth between elation and anger, bewilderment and wild happiness. Elliot, handsome Elliot, the lad she’d loved from afar, had wanted her all this time. She’d watched him swarm up the tree to retrieve the kite, secretly admiring how athletically his limbs moved, while pretending no interest at all. The firmness of his cheek under her lips when she’d given him the rewarding kiss had been imprinted on her thoughts for weeks afterward. The kiss he’d stolen when they’d danced at her debut ball had lingered for years.
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