by Kara Hart
I’ll keep begging if I have to. I don’t give a damn. I’ll fall to my fucking knees and be more of a man because of it. Halloway would laugh at me. He doesn’t understand the way I feel right now. But we all go through it in one way or another. We all find our person. Some just like to fuck it up. Some just like to watch it all burn away into oblivion.
“Stay,” I whisper the next morning. “Get breakfast with me. We can get coffee after and watch shitty movies.”
This time, my argument seems much stronger, yet she’s not giving in too easy. “You know I can’t, Addison,” she says, with big eyes. They move back and forth quickly as if she’s trying to read me, or plead for me to keep begging. “My class needs me. The kids need me.”
“I need you. My body needs you.” I say. “I yearn for you when you leave my arms. You know that? You know how shitty I feel when I’m all alone in this house, pacing around and doin’ God knows what?”
“Come on,” she laughs. “You don’t do that.” She says it as a matter of fact, but I know for certain that it’s really a solid question.
“Like hell I don’t,” I laugh. “Seriously, what else am I supposed to do?”
“You’re supposed to go to work!” she laughs, getting out of bed and grabbing her bra.
“Work? I can’t work anymore. All I do is think about you. Fuck work. Work is for the people out there. These feelings I have to keep at bay is the only work I can focus on right now,” I say.
“Well, that’ll pass. Someday you’ll get complacent. You’ll be like everyone else. And when that happens,” she says. “You’ll be faced with the consequences of not working. You’ll be broke and you won’t be able to buy me any cute things. And then I’ll have to leave you.”
She smiles so smug and so cute, that it makes my heart crack a little. “If that happens, I’ll do whatever it takes to get you that new dress, or necklace, or diamond-fucking-tiara. I’ll become a hitman if I have to. I’ll become a huge drug dealer kingpin,” I say. “Baby, I can never be complacent. So, you shouldn’t be either. Don’t go into work. Be here with me. Call out.”
My words today are good, that much I know. She closes her pretty little eyelids and heaves a slow and determined exhale. I watch and know that I’ve won the battle this time. She’s going to stay.
“Fine,” she says. “But only this one time. I can’t keep doing this.”
“You’re going to get that Kneeves guy to fuck Judy,” I laugh. “He’ll owe you the world. You’ve got so much leverage right now. This doesn’t matter to him. He knows he’ll do whatever it takes to get her. Hell, I know the feeling.”
“Ugh, you’re right,” she says. “It’s sad what you men will do for us, just to get inside us for a quick thirty minutes.”
“Don’t even try that shit,” I laugh. “You know I last an hour.”
“Sometimes even two,” she giggles. “No, really, I actually feel bad for the guy. He seems really lonely and lacks any confidence to do anything about it.”
“A very sad predicament,” I say. “Now call in.”
She calls in, faking the worst cough in the world, but it seems to work well enough. “Oh, don’t even bother!” I hear the words coming through the receiver. “I’ll mark it down and get a substitute. I hope you feel better.”
“Thank you, Fred. I’m really sorry,” she says.
“No worries, really,” he says, most likely smiling. “Oh! Um, did you talk to Judy yet?”
Of course, he has to ask about Judy. How could he not? “Not yet,” Helena responds. “But I promise I will. I’ll put in the best—” she coughs “—word for you.”
She hangs up the phone after he reluctantly okays her efforts and she heaves a heavy sigh of relief. “Ah,” she groans. “What’re you doing to me?”
“Everything. Literally everything.” I smile and kiss her stomach. Her naked body shines like a goddess trapped in some temple far east somewhere. The rays of sunlight that peek in through the windowpanes reflect sharp and hot. And I just want to make her pour.
I kiss lower and lower, around those hairs that act so forbidden. I kiss around her soft skin and she breathes erratically for just a split second, a short moment in time. She’s all mine and she knows it, but it’s a good thing because she knows that means she’s going to get everything that she’s ever wanted from me.
I kiss those folds, letting my saliva lightly drop onto the wet skin. I can practically see as she grows wetter for me, and I feel her with my fingers, splitting her open like a ripe fruit. “What are you doing?” she asks, without thinking. Yet, she slowly closes her lips and bites her tongue, and waits for me to continue, knowing exactly what I’m doing.
I don’t just do it for her. I do it for myself. I do it because I want to keep the taste of her in my mouth, so that I’m never without her. Does that make me crazy? Fuck no, it doesn’t. And if anyone was to come in my way of enjoying her like this for the rest of my existence, I’d go ballistic.
I fold my tongue over her lips and close my mouth around her skin — the dry parts and the wet parts, until she’s fully immersed in a sea of my sucking. And licking. And spitting. And everything else messy.
My tongue slides up and down, left and right. I push two fingers inside and when she keeps on moaning, I even insert a third one in. Finally, she agrees that she needs a fourth one, because after taking my cock for so many sleepless nights, she knows she needs more from me now, and I’m reeling from just how dirty we can get.
I place her legs around my shoulders and she squeezes her thighs against my neck. I hold on tight, curling my fingers up, pressing that spongy button of hers that causes her to twitch uncontrollably. I press and I push, and she falls back against those comfortable pillows, closing her eyes.
She fists my hair and squeezes hard. A current of energy shoots up my back. She pulls harder and begins to take control, letting me know exactly how she wants me. My tongue is like a bed of fucking roses that she can jump into after a hard day of work. She unwinds on me, gives me all her trouble, until she’s grinding her clit against that same bed of roses, defiling the whole damn place.
It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
She whips her hair back and practically rides my whole fucking face. She uses me as a platform for an explosion that’s about to take the whole world in. And when her pulse races, I can feel it on my mouth, can anyone believe that? We’re connected like this, completely knowing each other now. That by itself is a miracle. Before her, I didn’t give two shits about the girl I was banging. Now, she’s my entire world. Now, I’m willing to fight for her. I’m willing to lose it all in one moment.
“Yes!” she screams. “Oh God, yes!”
And I cup those ass cheeks of hers in my hand, fully, and keep that tongue sliding. Finally, she lets it all go. She loses herself, once more. Her whole body slumps against the bed, and the headboard, and the whole bed becomes soaking wet.
“That’s it, baby,” I whisper as she twitches. “Let it all out.”
And she does. For a full minute, she shows me just how much emotion is in that woman, deep down inside. “No,” she moans. “Yes.” A total contradiction. She can’t think straight and can only talk in these mysterious yes’s and no’s that make no difference to what is happening with my mouth.
I kiss her clit and look down. My cock is harder than solid steel. It doesn’t take long before her whole fucking mouth is around me, gagging down deep. She looks at me with those longing eyes, while I’m disappearing inside of her, and I just start cumming immediately.
“Fuck me,” I hiss. “Ah.”
The orgasm is far too good. It’s so fucking good that it hurts. I close my eyes, but before I do, I get a good look downward. My cock is pumping up and down from the might of my orgasm, shooting my cum against the back of her mouth. The image is too much to handle. Shit, I practically cum again before she releases, which is after much too long, when the head is way too sensitive.
This has been our
life thus far and we fucking enjoy it. We wouldn’t want it any other way. “So…” I groan with satisfaction. “Want to get a pizza or something?”
She laughs and swallows down, wiping her lips slightly. She smacks my chest softly and smiles. “Yes,” she says. “Pepperoni, please.”
“I thought you liked the sausage,” I laugh, knowing it’s a dumb joke.
“Oh, God. Don’t start making jokes like that, please. It’s a total turn off,” she says.
I slap her ass and call to get the food. The rest of the night is spent watching the worst romantic comedies of all time, while holding her in my arms, and eating the best crap pizza we can find. I’m completely at peace with this woman, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Addison
“What the fuck man? Where’ve you been?” Halloway asks me, looking angry and concerned. He takes a pull back on his beer and sets it down, heavy against the bar.
“Been busy,” I say, staring at the television screen in the top corner of the room. The juke box is blasting Rolling Stones’ “Can You Hear Me Knocking,” and I just can’t stop thinking about how Helena might dance to this song, how she might place that ass of hers across my lap, all sultry and cute.
“Come on,” he sighs. “Tell me the truth. You’ve been locked away with Helena for days. When you going to have some time for a brother?”
I nod and look down at him. “I’m sorry, man. I’m here aren’t I? Isn’t that good enough?” I ask him. He nods and calms down a little. After all, he’s just a little drunk and oversensitive. Just a typical Navy boy, cryin’ all the time about his problems.
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s all good. I’ve just been havin’ women problems is all.”
“Shit,” I laugh. “That tends to happen every now and then.”
“Pfft,” he laughs. “Like you know. Everything’s going peachy in your life.”
I shrug. “I mean, now it is. We’ll see how long that’ll last. I tend to fuck these things up.”
“Well, if you think like that you most definitely will,” he says. I know he’s right. Truth is, I’m feeling confident about this whole thing with Helena. The only reason I’m here is to be a better friend to Halloway. Plus, Helena is out at one of those PTA meetings they have every now and then, so it’s not like I have anything else I can really do.
“What’s up with you? How’s that Judy woman?” I ask him, motioning at the server for another Coors.
“She’s good.” He nods. “But that’s just the thing. I’m not sure how long it’s going to last.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. I look into my wallet and realize I only have forty bucks to my name. If I’m going to survive with Helena, I’m going to need to go back to work. The thought of doing that makes me sick to my stomach.
“I just mean that Judy’s an insane woman,” he says, laughing and shaking his head.
“Well, that’s good right?” I laugh with him. “You’re an insane man. Seems like two peas in a fucking pod, if you ask me.”
“Well, you got me there, brother.” His laugh is scratchy and long, from years of talking too harsh and drinking way too much. “But, I’m not sure if we really like each other, you know?”
“Lay it on me,” I tell him. “I don’t know, but I’m sure I can empathize.”
“The sex is great. Don’t get me wrong. The sex is like a higher level,” he keeps laughing. “Thinking about living a life without fucking her is pretty much impossible at this point. But, man, she’s fucking boring. I’ll say it right now, and I know it sounds a little harsh, but I just tune out every time she starts speaking.”
“That’s pretty harsh,” I agree.
“Now don’t get too soft on me here,” he says. “I can tell she does the same when she’s with me. I talk about my hopes and fears, and I swear she’s in another world, thinking about mathematics, or whatever it is she’s teaching.”
I sigh and place my hands on the table. “Just break up with her,” I say. “If you don’t like her, what’re you doing?”
“The. Sex,” he repeats. “How many times do I gotta tell you?”
“I gotta be real with you,” I tell him. “I think that Judy woman is not a person to mess with. I think she wants something real and deep. Anyway, that’s what she’s tellin’ Helena.”
“She’s at that age, huh?” His smile fades away and he starts analyzing the grooves in the tiles, on the floor.
“I guess,” I shrug.
“I know it sounds insane, but I don’t think I ever want to settle down. I mean, you and Helena, do what God wants you to do. But, as for me, I think I’m better off alone,” he says. I glance away from him and he notices that I don’t know what to say.
“Don’t get all weird, now,” he says. “It’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. I like being alone. I like women. I can’t be with just one thing. That’s always been me. You know that.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I guess I do.”
“I’m going to end it,” he says, nodding. It’s a revelation for him. I can tell. And I’m glad I could at least help him figure this all out for himself. “Yeah, I think it’s time.”
“Anyway,” he continues. “I think that principal at that school wants to bang her. He keeps calling her about assignments. I thought he was a fucking dweeb until I saw the way she talks to him. She laughs at all his dumb jokes. It’s crazy.”
“I’m sorry, man. I’ve always got your back,” I say. There’s not much else to say, to be honest. He’s made his decision and he seems quite content with it.
“I’ve got my eyes on that woman, right there,” he points to this young, blonde in the back corner talking to her friends. “So, I don’t really care who Judy ends up with. I’d rather she be happy with someone else than bored with a guy like me.”
“True, true,” I say, finishing the last of my second beer.
I can’t stop thinking about Helena. I still have her perfume smell around my lips. I can still taste her. Even when I’m far from her, she’s still right beside me. It pains me, and that’s not how Halloway feels about Judy at all. It gives me comfort and reassurance. I want her more than anything, and I’m going to make it official. I’m going to propose to that woman and make her mine forever. Us forever.
Helena
Judy can’t control herself. She’s feeling so giddy about things. “You can’t be serious?” she laughs and touches my shoulder. “Kneeves?”
“What, you don’t like him?” I ask her.
She takes a second to think about the question and glances over in his direction. He immediately looks away, caught in the act. Currently, we’re in the school cafeteria, eating amongst the students, at a separate table. I have to say, I do feel like I’m in 7th grade again and it’s starting to feel a bit weird…
“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “He’s a nice guy. I guess I’ve never thought about him like that before. He’s not ugly, I guess.”
“He’s not ugly,” I repeat, laughing a little. Such a nice phrase from Judy.
“Sorry.” She takes a bite from her sandwich and sets it back down. “God, I can barely even eat anything. He knows I’m dating Halloway, right?”
“Yeah, he knows,” I say. “But you were just saying how much you want to get out of that relationship. Why are you being weird about it now? Are things going that good with him?”
“No. It’s shit, but the sex is great,” she says. “How can I really give that up?”
“Easy,” I laugh. “You fuck one more time and leave it at that. You can’t have everything forever, can you?”
She looks up at the ceiling and stares for a second, finishing as much of her food as she can. The whole thing is weird, playing matchmaker like this, and really I’m only doing it to solidify a better spot at the school. Now that Kneeves has put me in this position, if I don’t come through, he’s going to resent me forever. So, I guess I have to do what I have to do.
“Yeah, but going out with your boss? That just se
ems… wrong,” she says. “I don’t know. And it’s weird that he wouldn’t just come over here and take charge. I mean, I typically like a guy who takes charge. Don’t you?”
“Well, yeah,” I say, not able to disagree with what she’s saying.
“Like, I always thought I’d end up with a big, strong guy. Someone with swagger, confidence, and a heart of gold,” she laughs. “A total badass who adores me. That’s what I want.”
“You can’t have everything,” I sigh.
“You do,” she says, half-annoyed with me.
“Who? Addison?” I ask her. “Addison is…” I stop speaking, because I know she’s right. Addison is the real deal. He’s got a perfect body, he’s nice to me, but he’s got that hard edge that women kill for. Plus, he’s served and done his time, and he’s moved on from it. That’s really rare to find in a guy.
“Yeah, exactly. You know he’s perfect,” she says. Her eyes close for a second, before she takes a big breath. Then, after some careful consideration, she announces, “You know, why not? Fred is a good guy, right? He’s got a steady career, he’s probably not an alcoholic, and he’s, well… at least he’s normal, right?”
“Right,” I say, watching her every reaction. She starts to feel more pleased by this reality and continues.
“Yeah, I guess I should give the guy a chance. The worst that could happen is it doesn’t go smoothly and we part ways,” she says. “I’m going to do it.”
“You’re going to do it?” I repeat. “Did I hear that right?”
“I’m going to do it,” she says. “I’m going to go up to him right now and ask him out. This is his chance. If he falters and fumbles, then he won’t get another.”
“And Halloway?” I ask her, laughing a little from the absurdity of the situation.
