Impossible Life of Mary Benson, The
Page 29
p.78 Ideal Wives I am indebted to Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, for guiding me to many of these sources, and for the following citations: Ann Richelieu, p.195; Marion Bradley, p.xxx. Sarah Stickney Ellis is also cited in Vicinus, Martha (ed.), Suffer and Be Still, p.x; The Angel in the House appears in Page, Frederick (ed.), The Poems of Coventry Patmore; Ruskin’s Statement to his Proctor is published in Whitehouse, J. Howard, Vindication of Ruskin, pp.12ff.
Chapter Seven
p.81 Martin was born Details of the children’s births are: Martin White Benson, b. 19 August 1860; Arthur Christopher Benson, b. 24 April 1862; Eleanor Mary (Nellie) Benson, b.10 October 1863; Margaret (Maggie) Benson, b. 16 June 1865; Edward Frederic (Fred) Benson, b. 24 July 1867; Robert Hugh (Hugh) Benson, b. 18 November 1871.
p.84 ‘How I liked him’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 16
p.84 ‘a fascinating little thing’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 30
p.84 ‘I do take to Mrs Price’ Diary 1860, Ben. MS Benson 1/72 fol 18
p.84 ‘such love, such delight in each other’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 26
p.84 ‘in most complete fusing’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 23, 26
p.84 ‘My God, what a woman!’ stage Ethel Smyth points out Mary’s use of the expression in Smyth, Ethel, As Time Went On. . . , p.38; also cited in Vicinus, Martha, Intimate Friends: Women who Loved Women, 1778–1928, p.96
p.84 Schwärmerei The word is derived from the German schwärmen, meaning, literally, ‘to swarm’. Schwärmerei was used metaphorically in German to mean an ‘enthusiasm’, even a ‘fanatical enthusiasm’, and its first recorded use in English was in 1845. In English, the word came to have somewhat distasteful connotations of ‘unwholesome or excessive sentiment’, but Mary uses it more in the sense of having a ‘crush’.
p.84 number 39 Watkins, Gwen, E. F. Benson, p.61
p.85 Innocent Intimacies Marcus, Sharon, Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England, p.15, was my initial pointer to these sources.
p.86 induce a heavy silver pencil to rise Watkins, Gwen, E. F. Benson, p.174
p.86 automatic writing and table-turning Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 44
p.87 Instantly, the table slid towards a door Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 46
p.87 ‘began to tremble into life’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 21
p.87 ‘wild with joy’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 22
p.87 ‘the hot months’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 21
p.87 ‘How we drew together!’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 22
p.88 ‘puerperal insanity’ Oppenheim, Janet, ‘Shattered Nerves’, p.227
p.88 ‘My heart shrank within me’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 22
p.88 ‘neglected things terribly’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 23
p.89 His mother had been married young Benson, A. C., Beside Still Waters, pp.4–7
p.91 ‘I’ve got a bone in my leg’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.20–1
p.91 ‘as he has never screamed before’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 4
p.92 he was aware loved him Watkins, Gwen, E. F. Benson, p.72
p.92 ‘loved and protecting presence’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.21
p.92 . . . it was the face Benson, E. F., Across the Stream, p.3
p.92 ‘Not particler’ Ben. MS Benson 3/43 fol 82
p.93 dam up the gravy Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.43
p.93 kisses and ‘best love’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 30ff
p.93 ‘dear Papa’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 20
p.93 He disliked his father Benson, A. C., Memoirs of Arthur Hamilton, p.3
p.94 Archie was frightened Benson, E. F., Across the Stream, p.8
p.95 ‘came out in large drops’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 34
p.95 tears of frustration Benson, A. C., Maggie Benson, p.10
p.95 ‘she should not be neglected’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 44
p.96 ‘a small, pink creature called Hugh’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.15
Chapter Eight
p.97 birth of Hugh I am indebted for the background on women and illness in this section to Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, pp.320–7
p.97 ‘utterly done up’ Ben. MS Benson 3/18–19 fol 9
p.97 ‘pleasure in the importance of it’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 21
p.97 ‘very depressed and ill and incapable’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 53ff; Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 28
p.98 ‘neurasthenia’ Oppenheim, Janet, ‘Shattered Nerves’, pp.5, 92ff; Williams, David, Genesis and Exodus: A Portrait of the Benson Family, pp.47–8
p.98 ‘willingness to perform their share’ A contemporary doctor’s opinion, cited in Showalter, Elaine, The Female Malady, p.135
p.98 ‘a glorious month’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 26
p.98 ‘love poured out on him’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 26
p.98 ‘every finger full of character and vigour’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.275
p.98 ‘I have often wished for you’ Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, p.63
p.98 To Miss E. Wordsworth Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.332
p.99 ‘oh my vanity!’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 24
p.99 ‘insinuating herself into everything’ Williams, David, Genesis and Exodus, pp.177–8. The reference is to a short story by Charles Dickens.
p.99 drinking ‘’arf pints’ Ben. MS Benson 3/18–19 fol 11
p.100‘Adventures of a Timid Englishwoman’ Asquith, Betty, The Bensons, pp.26–7
p.100 The art of being ill From Bailin, Miriam, The Sickroom in Victorian Fiction, pp.1, 20; cited in Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, pp.320, 324
p.101 ‘makes the life very pleasant’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 79
p.101 ‘a most lovely morning’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 73
p.102 ‘Miss Hall, a lady boarder’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 75
p.102 ‘regarded slightly in the light of a nuisance’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 83
p.102 sit at the ‘Beloved Object’s’ feet Ben. MS Benson 3/40 fol 84
p.102 ‘I began to love Miss Hall’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 29
p.103 ‘Baby has got two teeth’ Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, p.13
p.103 ‘We and papa’ Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, p.13
p.103 ‘a pang when I get them’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 86
p.103 ‘Mama, anyone, to write’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fols 81, 77, 86
p.104 Expenses to November Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 98
p.105 ‘most delicious’ sealskin Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fols 106, 110
p.105 ‘this last Christmas at the dear old home’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 113
p.105 ‘Ah what a dear home it has been’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 113 pp.105–6 ‘holy poverty for our portion’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.351–2
p.106 ‘My dear wife mends so slowly’ Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, p.72
p.106 ‘somewhat too good accounts’ Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 117
p.106 how well he could make her in the time Ben. MS Benson 3/3 fol 118
p.107 ‘unsympathetic to my boys’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 31
p.107 ‘I came to grief’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 30
p.107 ‘tossings, doubts, indecisions’ Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 28
p.108 ‘I first saw him when I was five’ Ben. MS Benson 3/38 fol 64
p.108 ‘Ah! my husband’s pain’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 30
Chapter Nine
p.111 A Postcard from Edward Benson. . . Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.368
p.112 The Chancery stood in a Close Description of the Chancery drawn from Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, pp.67ff
p.113 Fred and the girls The life of Fred and the gir
ls in the Chancery is described in Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.36–7
p.113 exciting place for growing up Details of the children’s life in Lincoln is based on Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.380; Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.67 ff; Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.36ff , 61–2
p.115 ‘blew like a spring wind’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.69
p.115 the bull was the father Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.70
p.116 ‘with awe and trembling’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.380
p.116 [My Father] had no idea Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.42–3
p.116 The Scholae Cancelarii Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.76
p.117 ‘We give this to you, Mr Chancellor’ Williams, David, Genesis and Exodus, p.55
p.117 ‘a time of urgent doubt’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.131
p.118 Mary looked on God as a Father Benson, E. F., Mother, p.25
p.118 The Case of Annie Besant Annie Besant’s story is given in Nethercot, Arthur Hobart, The First Five Lives of Annie Besant, and Taylor, Anne, Annie Besant: The Biography.
p.119 middle-aged, motherly, forthright Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.130
p.119 Mary called her ‘Tan’ Vicinus, Martha, Intimate Friends, p.93, points out the Greek/Christian connection.
p.119 Tan called Mary ‘Ben’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8, and elsewhere
p.119 ‘stirrings of the old love’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 32
p.119 ‘to play with my human love for her’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 32
p.119 ‘quite prayerless’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 32
p.120 ‘‘Mother in Christ’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8
p.120 ‘first human knowledge and human love’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 32
p.120 ‘a spirit photograph, whatever its ugliness’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 8
p.120 Tan confirmed Mary’s sense of sin Vicinus, Martha, Intimate Friends, pp.92–3, argues this point.
p.121 ‘burn all that must burn’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 13
p.121 ‘to possess and purify my heart’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 29
p.121 ‘rouse, cleanse, fill’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 20
p.121 ‘than if at first our love’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 25
p.121 ‘what is individuality?’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 25
p.121 ferocity of his old conviction softened Benson, A. C., Unpublished Memoir of Mary Benson, Ben. MS Benson adds 12/3 pp.111–12
p.122 ‘my temper, my pride, my resentment’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.396–7
p.122 ‘accommodating myself to him’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 37
p.122 ‘a desire for lawlessness as such’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 41
p.122 ‘I need discipline, discipline, discipline’ cited in Masters, Brian, The Life of E. F. Benson, p.43
p.122 ‘staff on which he leaned’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.66
p.122 ‘Economy, punctuality, tidiness’ Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 37
p.123 as with Schwärmereien of old Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 42
p.123 Uneasiness began on Saturday Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 38
p.123 Mrs Benson Taps into the Zeitgeist. . . Diary 1876, Ben. MS Benson 1/79 fol 39
p.124 presentiment of momentous news Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.412–13
p.124 another, from Queen Victoria Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.62
Chapter Ten
p.125 ‘Bishops who do not give subscriptions’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.413
p.125 ‘The Lord Bishop of Truro!’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.62
p.125 Nellie read to the others Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, p.26
p.126 wretched and rebellious Williams, David, Genesis and Exodus, p.66
p.126 a set of bronzed dessert dishes Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.166
p.126 ‘fit for a nobleman’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.174
p.127 Fred awoke exultant Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.63
p.127 Two strong horses were found Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.179
p.127 The new bishop set out on forays The Cornish adventures are described in Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.74–5; Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, pp.188ff, 202ff
p.128 ‘It is so strange to live so alone’ Ben. MS Benson 3/18-19 fol 33
p.129 ‘a close little corporation’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.258
p.129 Arthur Benson recalls Lis Escop. . . Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.425
p.130 ‘He always worked’ cited in Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, Four Studies on a Victorian Ideal, p.180
p.130 taught himself enough Italian Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.78
p.130 original Dürer woodcut Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.76
p.130 carry on his work on Earth Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.78–9
p.130 ‘I always said he was “better company”’ cited in Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, pp.158–9
p.130 ‘Pray pick up directly’ cited in Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, p.177
p.131 ‘Don’t tell anyone, but I lost a ticket’ cited in Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, p.177
p.131 ‘What you seem to want intellectually’ Williams, David, Genesis and Exodus, p.68
p.131 Martin died suddenly Account of Martin’s death taken from Edward Benson’s diary account, in Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, pp.185ff, and Benson, E. F., As We Were, pp.79–80
p.131 provoked by excessive mental strain Oppenheim, Janet, ‘Shattered Nerves’, p.248
p.132 ‘I cannot reach to this’ Benson, E. F., As We Were, p.81
p.132 ‘Your own child, your fellow-mother’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.78
p.132 ‘My dear Arthur, Martain is dead’ cited in Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, p.188
p.133 Edward was stricken Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, p.40; Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, pp.248, 250
p.133 a love such as he afforded no other living creature Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.250
p.133 ‘a horror of any sort of pressure’ Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, p.40
p.133 ‘inexplicable grief’ of his life Newsome, David, Godliness & Good Learning, p.195
p.133 Verses Written by Edward Benson. . . Given in Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, pp.646–7
p.134 children drew even more tightly together Their games are described in Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.99, 129
p.135 High School for Girls in Truro Benson, A. C., Maggie Benson, p.26
p.135 ‘I had rather teach Hugh Greek’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.643
p.135 ‘opened, one by one, the doors of life’ Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, p.57
p.135pp.135–6 ‘particular precision of sympathy’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.106
p.136 She had their eye for ‘treats’ Benson, E. F., Final Edition, p.223
p.136 ‘she was ready, toeing the mark’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.106
p.136 ‘just as bad if not worse’ Diary 1862–68, Ben. MS Benson 1/73 fol 30
p.136 his mother gave him a prayer book Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.107
p.136 enthusiastically join in the children’s games Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.107
p.136 gentle walks and demure carriage drives Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, p.270
p.136 scratchy layers of clothing Flanders, Judith, The Victorian House, pp.266, 270–1
p.137 ‘lobs that cut daisies from their stalks’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.127
p.137 E. F. Benson’s ghost story, ‘Pirates’ Benson, E. F., The Tale of an Empty House and Other Ghost Stories, pp.218–19
p.138 The Cornish countryside Description drawn from Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.262
p.138 grew carelessly in the crevices Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.63
p.138 a passion for pets Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, pp.27, 43; Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.67
p.140 ‘Ask me no more but let me be’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.93–4
p.140 The Saturday Magazine Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, pp.92–3
p.140 Maggie was fond of Societies Benson, A. C. Maggie Benson, pp.31–6
p.141 ‘flung his heart about in handfuls’ cited in Newsome, David, On the Edge of Paradise: A. C. Benson, the Diarist, p.26
p.141 with his arm round Fred’s neck Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.74; Masters, Brian, The Life of E. F. Benson, p.46
p.141 had a stammer Benson, E. F., Mother, p.223; Benson, E. F., Final Edition, p.86
p.141 the son to take Martin’s place Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.127; also Palmer and Lloyd, Father of the Bensons, pp.93, 135–6
p.141 ‘the picture of ruddy force’ Asquith, Betty, The Bensons, p.58
p.141 ‘Certain Death if fired’ A letter from Nellie, cited in Benson, A. C., Maggie Benson, p.41
p.142 ‘petulant, wilful’ Benson, A. C., Maggie Benson, p.40
p.142 any control over Hugh at all Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.128
p.142 Fragment of a Poem. . . Benson, A. C., Hugh, Memoirs of a Brother, p.27
p.142 ‘the person who made this all possible’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.273
p.144 ‘extraordinarily indifferent and indulgent’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.274
p.144 his mother was afraid of her husband ACB, Vol. 179 (February 1922–August 1925), p.30
p.145 ‘moods of blackness and tortured irritability’ Benson, A. C., The Trefoil, p.250
p.145 ‘demoniacal load, longing to be rid of it’ Benson, E. F., Our Family Affairs, p.105
p.145 ‘that she did not enter into his struggles and ideals’ ACB, Vol. 179 (February 1922–August 1925), p.30
p.145 E. F. Benson’s novel Rex. . . Benson, E. F., Rex pp.15–16
p.146 Mary welcomed old friends on visits Their activities are related in Diary 1882, Ben. MS Benson 1/74 fol 90ff
p.146 ‘Her spirit went long before the body’ Benson, A. C., Edward White Benson, Vol. I, p.493