I was terrified.
This was a big step, and lord only knew Jessie Glyn had never given me the time of day, before. She might prefer to boot me out of her plush office before I got a chance to utter one word.
“I’m right here with you,” Sue Ann said as if she could read my racing thoughts. “I’ve got your back, girl.”
I grabbed Sue Ann’s hand and squeezed. My bestie squeezed back with a tight smile.
We stopped in front of a glass front door which led into a lobby, decorated with potted plants and pine furniture.
“This is it,” I said. “This is my last shot at recovering from this utter, this total –”
“Clusterfuck.”
“I was going to say shit storm, but yeah, that’s an even better word for it.” I pressed my palm against the cool pane of glass and opened it. I held it wide, and we both entered. My eyes darted around the comfortable lobby.
“So this is what a publishing headquarters looks like,” Sue Ann said. “It’s not what I expected.”
The lobby was relatively quiet, except for a nail-picking receptionist who didn’t bother looking up at them or expressing a greeting. Groupings of desks sat off to my right, with a couple of reporters bent over laptops or flicking fingers across the screens of tablets.
“What did you expect?” I asked.
“I don’t know, smoke and papers. People wearing hats with feathers in them or something?”
“Sounds like a newsroom from the fifties,” I replied and giggled, more out of nerves than anything else. “Very Mary Tyler Moore.”
Sue Ann prodded me in the back, directing me toward the reception area. We approached it with our arms tucked behind our backs. This was weird, kinda like heading to the principal’s office after the time we’d snuck out during recess to skate the iced over lake.
“Hello,” I said, looking down at the bored brunette manning the desk.
“Uh-huh,” the woman replied, still without making eye contact.
Sue Ann and I shared a look.
Sue Ann raised an eyebrow, then rapped her knuckles on the desk. “Hello! Look alive, lady, we’re here to see Jessie Glyn. Now. This can’t wait. It’s journalistically imperative.”
The receptionist jumped and looked up at us at last, her red-lipped mouth flapping open and closed.
Sue Ann knocked on the wood again to wake her up.
The receptionist snatched the phone off the desk and pressed a few buttons. “Miss Glyn?” She paused and pulled the phone away from her ear. A low tinny keen came from the receiver.
It was Jessie’s voice. Or rather, her irritation at being interrupted.
“Miss Glyn,” the receptionist said in a break between squawks, “I’ve got two ladies here to see you. They say it’s important. Journalistically.” The receptionist blinked and gulped.
“Tell her that Julia Wales has come for a chat,” I said.
The receptionist's eyes grew saucer-shaped. Even she’d heard the rumors, apparently. “Miss Glyn, Julia Wales is here to see you.”
The screaming cut off with one final squawk.
The receptionist listened, then placed the phone in its cradle, and waved toward the rest of the office. “She’s in The Loon conference room. She, uh, she’ll see you right now.”
Judging from her shocked expression, I half-expected the frazzled receptionist to wish us good luck. Maybe we needed it. Lord knows Lady Luck had been making herself scarce of late.
Sue Ann and I walked around the corner and down the hall, turning left and right again before we finally reached The Loon room. There was a brass plaque on the door indicating we’d reached the correct place.
“Oh boy,” Sue Ann said. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I’m not a fan of this woman. There’s always been something strange about her. Remember back in high school when she used to stalk people, trying to get the scoop and out it in the school newspaper?”
I knocked once, then entered without waiting for a summons. I’d wear confidence like a skin, even if I felt like crawling out of it.
Jessie sat behind a shiny, plank conference table wearing a white cotton shirt that plunged at the neck, revealing a large amount of cleavage. She had horn-rimmed glasses perched on her nose and tapped her manicured fingers along the keys of her laptop.
“You’re interrupting me,” she said without preamble. “This better be worth it. So, what do you want from me, Julia?”
“My life back,” I replied. “And I’m willing to pay for it.”
Jessie Glyn’s over-plucked eyebrows arched and fell, arched again and finally settled over her narrowed eyes.
“Interesting,” Jessie said. “All right, I’ll bite. Sit down and explain yourself. I’m hoping Sue Ann is simply here for moral support and won’t have a ridiculous request as well? I’ve always been about getting at the truth and reporting it, not doing favors for people.”
We followed orders and sank into seats across from her since, after all, this was Jessie’s territory. We had no chance of winning her over if we came in angry.
I dismissed her last question and jumped right in before I lost my tenuous nerve. “I want to take out a full-page ad in the paper. Or even better, if you’ve got access to an open billboard, I’d like to put something up there. I’ll pay whatever it takes.”
“You want to spend thousands on advertisement?” Jessie asked, mouth ajar in consternation. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” Sue Ann snapped, then cleared her throat and focused on her lap instead at my warning glare.
“It seems I’ve picked up quite the reputation,” I replied. “And I mean to take advantage of it, even if it’s based on a pack of lies.”
Jessie didn’t blink at the mention of the lies. She was a shark, and she smelled blood in the water. More like she smelled money and fame in the water, big fat wads of it. More money for her and her dogged pursuit of ‘the truth’ in her opinion.
“What did you have in mind?” she asked, practically salivating and counting Benjamin’s in her head.
“I want a picture of me, with my arms crossed, smiling. Kind of mischievous? I’m open to ideas from someone of your journalistic expertise. And with the title: Home wrecked? I can fix it… Then my business’s contact details.”
“Oh my,” Jessie said, pushing back in her chair. “That is good. That is pretty damn good. I like it.”
“After all the publicity I’ve been getting in Duluth, I figured this would be a win-win for your magazine. I’ll pay, well, Sue Ann will, and you’ll get a lot of readers if you hype it up a bit.” A foul taste sat on the back of my tongue, but I tamped it down. Why was I having to resort to these gutter-like tactics? I hated it. Thank God Blake wasn’t here to see it.
“And you’re willing to sell yourself like this?” Jessie’s eyes glinted. She loved that this caused me pain. We’d never been the best of friends, but I didn’t quite understand why Jessie hated me. I knew why Heather hated me, but this vitriol didn’t make much sense. “You’re selling yourself out, kind of like a female used car salesman. Is your precious little design business really worth selling your soul to the devil? Once you do this, you can never go back to being Miss Goody Two Shoes.”
“Yes, I’m willing.”
“All right,” Jessie said, then stood slowly, stretching her back like a cat. More like a fire breathing lion about to devour a gazelle. I rose as well, my breath catching in my throat. This was the moment I’d sell myself to the devil, just to stay afloat. Was I making the right decision? Like Blake always said, “No guts, sis, no glory.”
Jessie extended her palm. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
Chapter 30
Julia
I stood in my kitchen, staring out of the window at the moonless night. The stars were out, but I couldn’t see much with the kitchen light on. It didn’t matter. I was staring blankly anyway. Even if the night sky had been aglitter with a million stars, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy them.
I just couldn’t get Adam off my mind, which was a common occurrence for me. He’d been swirling across my consciousness for the past few weeks, driving me crazy with his broad shoulders and soft eyes.
And his love.
The way he looked at me made my insides squirm and my breath hitch in my throat. But seeing Heather at the county jail had pretty much thrown sand on the fires of my passion for Mr. Spencer. If he was finished with her, if he truly understood how badly Heather had hurt me as well as him, then why would he go anywhere near her? Why would he call an ex to bail him out of jail?
Damn. He’d landed in the county pen for defending me from a sicko. If he cared enough to put his career on the line to give Carter his due, but didn’t he care enough to call? Write? Send a homing pigeon? This made no sense.
“Chamomile,” I said to myself. “I need tea. Or a Xanax. Both. Lots of it.” I scraped the heels of my palms over my eyes and grabbed the teapot off the counter beside my fridge. Rinsing it with fresh distilled water, I then filled the pot with more water to measure how much I wanted to make.
The doorbell rang, and I slopped water into the sink. Rolling my eyes at myself, I placed the pot on the counter and sighed. A knock rattled the front door.
“I’m coming,” I called out. That had better not be Heather McNeal, or Jessie Glyn come to back out of our deal.
The doorbell rang again.
“Coming!” I yelled this time, straightening my blouse and dusting off my pencil skirt. I hurried out of the kitchen, my stocking ensconced feet slipping on the polished wood floor in my hall. Gnawing on my bottom lip and stealing for a confrontation, I slid to a stop at the door. “Who’s there?”
“Julia,” Adam said, his voice – that honey, chocolate, deliciously warm voice – melted my insides to mush. “Julia, it’s me. It’s Adam. We need to talk. Now.”
I buried my anger along with my ever-present desire deep down in my core. Tamped it down with both feet was more like it. I had to remain calm for this, because all I wanted to do was throw the door open, jump into his strong arms, and rain a torrent of kisses all over any exposed skin.
Instead, I drew back the bolt and swung the door wide. And there he was. I took a moment simply to drink him in with my thirsty eyes. Adam Spencer stood in a plaid button up shirt, which hung loose outside of his faded blue jeans. He stamped his boots on my welcome mat, lowering his head to shield his eyes from the light in my entrance hall.
“Can I come in?”
“Depends on what you have to say,” I replied coolly, leaning forward and peering around Adam, making a big show out of it.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking.”
“For what?”
“More like for whom. For Heather, your rude and obnoxious fiancée. I expect her to crop up wherever you are. Like in the county jail.” I snapped my spine straight and glared at Adam, a smidge of my anger slipping into my tone. I couldn’t help it. Seeing Heather again had made it worse. All of a sudden, I felt like lashing out, because he’d taken too long to make contact. To come here and make things right.
So much had happened in the past few days while I’d been hanging on by a thread, convinced that it’d snap, and I’d fall into crocodile infested waters to be eaten alive.
Adam took a single step back, his brow furrowing. “Heather?”
“No, I’m Julia. And I’m not sure you understand the implications,” I said, staring him down. Waiting. Hoping.
“Are you testing me, woman?”
“What do you think? Are you still with Heather?” I asked, swallowing a lump in my throat. I couldn’t bear the thought of them together. Visions of perfect-assed Heather touching his skin, kissing his lips. The image scarred my soul.
“Fuck no,” Adam growled out, muscles twitching in his jaw. He continued to stand before me, all rigid sinew and righteous indignation. Could I believe him? “This is the second time you’ve assumed the worst about me, Julia.”
Guilt compacted my guts and heart into a lead ball. He was right about that. I had judged him too harshly about the drugs, and about Heather. But I was distraught. I was exhausted, and I was… thinking about myself again, instead of him. But this time, he hadn’t called or communicated in any way. That had to be explained. I couldn’t just let him off the hook all the time. In any relationship, communication was key.
“Come inside,” I said, stepping back. “If you still want to.”
Adam sniffed and entered, ducking his head slightly as he moved in. He stopped in the entrance hall and looked down at me. “I know this has been a tough time, Julia. I don’t want you thinking this is happening without a reason.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Oh, trust me, I know the reason.”
“Heather is manipulative. I’m usually not such a dipshit, but I promise you that I’d been so consumed with playing hockey and then not playing hockey that I never really saw it until she fucked my brother. It had always just been easier to go with the flow. Since I never really challenged her before, this side didn’t show itself that often. She’s trying to get me back because she’s in line to star in a reality TV show, and it’s a no go without me on board. And you’re standing in the way in her eyes.” Adam was matter-of-fact, keeping his tone calm and even. “I won’t let her hurt you anymore. She needs to get over her selfish self. I’ve seen the light, and I promise that as long as I’m not caged behind bars, I’ll protect you.”
I sighed and pierced him with a glare. All I really wanted to do was to wrap my arms and legs around him and hang on for dear life. But I wouldn’t throw myself at him. I still had one single thread of pride left. “Heather’s determined to get back together with you for a TV show? What if she keeps coming after us? It’s not like either of us can fight back openly. That could ruin us both. I think we’ve underestimated her power and that of her family. And probably her desire for fame.”
“It won’t ruin us,” Adam said, his tone dropping to a level of intimacy that I wasn’t prepared for. Although I welcomed it. And wanted it with every cell in my body.
He stepped closer, kicked the door shut with his heel, then his hands hovered by my elbows. I could feel the warmth of his body but not the heat of his touch. “I’m sorry for everything.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. This isn’t your fault.”
“It is. I should’ve known Heather was such a –”
“Pain in the ass?” I offered.
“I was going to say manipulator, but yeah, that works. Although I don’t think it’s even near harsh enough. I would have said a word that my mother despised. And then I would have felt guilty so thanks for stopping me. I don’t like disappointing her, even from the grave.” Adam’s lips tugged up at the corners. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was in that cell. Imagining things.”
“She bailed you out.” Damn, that popped out of nowhere. I was embarrassed I’d tried to and failed. I was embarrassed that another woman had beat me to it.
“What?”
“Yes, I came to bail you out, but Heather was already there, saying that you two were together again. You weren’t there. You hadn’t gotten in touch with me. She’s such an expert liar; I started to believe her.”
Adam swore and jerked his shoulders back. “I wouldn’t touch Heather with a ten-foot fucking pole. I swear to God,” he laid down the oath with a cross to his heart and a palm in the air.
I studied his face, the lines, and tiny creases on his forehead, the pores and the stubble along his strong jaw. He was beautiful. Duluth’s most gorgeous bachelor. And he was in my entrance hall. And I loved him.
But how deeply did he return my love? Would he ever truly be mine?
“I’d better go,” Adam said. “I’ve got to get some rest for training tomorrow. I’m doing some of my own, you know, for when the test results come back clean.”
He was sweet, not wanting to push too hard, too soon after everything we’d been through. I loved him even more f
or it. I went onto tiptoes and brushed my lips across his cheek.
Adam stayed a moment longer, breathing slowly, pressing his nose to my crown. “I’ll call you.” Then he was gone, and I was alone with my doubts and fears again. He’d never really explained why he’d allow Heather to go this far.
Chapter 31
Adam
I sat on my sofa, the same one my parents had owned, and stared at the results on the coffee table. I’d gone down to the hospital to fetch them myself because there wasn’t a cold chance in hell I’d let anyone else touch my sample after the last time.
I was clean.
The test results screamed negative in pitch black ink on the page. Negative for any steroids, negative for any type of illegal or unethical drug on the market.
Negative.
The results were exactly as I’d known they would be since I’d never touched that shit and never would. I didn’t need it. Fuck, I hadn’t even considered it, knee injury and all. And the fact that the fans had ever thought I would, well, that stuck in my craw. These Duluth fans had known me and followed me since Mites. They knew better. That betrayal actually stung worse than Heather’s.
I was a proud man with values and integrity. The honor my old man had drilled into me since I was a kid. Dead or not, I’d never sully the family name in any way or disappoint my beloved parents.
“Do it right, or don’t do it at all.” That’d been Dad’s saying. He was right. Too bad Mark hadn’t been paying attention.
What would I have to gain by lying and cheating to get ahead? I’d have known I was a fake, and it would only have been a matter of time before everyone else found out too. I’d never been a good liar.
“So, how?” I asked the blank TV screen. I picked up the remote, more out of habit than anything else, and pressed the bright red button in the top right corner. The plastic was cold against my thumb.
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