by L A Cotton
It was time to lay the past to rest.
Nick approached with caution. It radiated off him as I told him he could sit. “Do you want to order anything?” I asked.
“I, uh, no.” He swallowed, sweeping his unruly brown hair off his face. “I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m okay. You?”
“I’ve been better.”
“You’re not at college?” He was supposed to be at USC now.
“I am, yeah, but I had no classes this afternoon, and before I knew it, I’d gotten in my car and driven back here.”
“Nick, I—”
“I get it. You’re with him now. My head knows it, but my heart, well, it’s having a fucking difficult time accepting it. I knew he was leaving today, and I knew you’d probably be upset... I just wanted to... Anyway, it must have been fate because I was passing when I saw your Mom’s car out front.”
“Thank you, it means a lot.”
“Yeah?” Hope sparked in his eyes, but it quickly died. “You and Holloway, I got to say, I never in a million years saw that coming.”
“Neither did I. But he helped me through some things and I...” I drew in a calming breath, trying to get my galloping pulse under control. “Nick, there’s something you need to know.”
He shifted uncomfortably; his eyes narrowed in anticipation. “Go on...”
“After you... well, after you confessed, and I got sick. I wasn’t really sick.”
“You weren’t?” Confusion marred his face, and I shook my head gently.
“I was... pregnant.”
Shock fell over his expression as he sank back against the plush leather booth, air whooshing from his lungs in a pained gasp. “P- pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“You said was... was pregnant?”
“I lost the baby.”
“Our baby,” he corrected. He didn’t seem angry, just sad. “How far?”
“The doctor thinks I was nine weeks.”
“And JB?” Pain hung in every word, seeping into me and cracking my chest wide open.
“He was there when it happened. I... well, I needed someone, and he was there.”
“I... I don’t even know what to say. I would have been there as well, Summer.” His voice cracked. “If only you’d given me a chance, I would have been there.”
“I know.” I went to reach for his hand, the one pressed hard against the table. But I thought better of it and thrust it under my thigh instead. This was about closure, not about giving Nick any seeds of hope.
“I deserved to know.” His pain finally morphed to anger. “You should have—”
“You broke me, Nick. I was scared and alone and the last thing I wanted was to have you there, looking at me like you still loved me—”
“I do still love you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said sadly. “Whatever we had was destroyed when you slept with her.”
“But pregnant. Fuck, Summer.”
Silence settled over us as Nick processed everything.
“I really want to hate him,” he finally said. “But it’s kind of impossible when I know he was there for you through all that.”
“He’s a good guy.”
“It should have been me. I should have never screwed things up between us. I should have talked to you.”
“What’s done is done, Nick. I just wanted you to know the truth, to give us both some closure.”
“So, this is it, huh?” He forced a smile, but it came out more of a grimace. “You’re really going to give him a shot?”
“Don’t do that; don’t sit there and judge me. You don’t have the right.”
“I’m not judging,” he sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Summer. He’s everything you’ve worked so hard to avoid. People like JB thrive in the spotlight. And it’s college. The parties and girls...” He let the words hang, and I hated that they played on my insecurities.
“JB would never hurt me,” I said with conviction.
“That’s the last thing I want, believe me,” he said quietly. “But how well do you know him, Summer, really know him?”
“I knew you better than anyone, Nick, but you still broke my heart.”
His eyes shuttered as he drew in a harsh breath. “And if I could take it all back, I would.”
But he couldn’t.
And maybe he was right. Maybe JB would end up hurting me. But he was worth the risk.
Wasn’t he?
Chapter 22
JB
Sweat clung to every inch of me as I dropped down on the bench and ran a hand through my damp hair. Practice had been brutal. Every muscle hurt; every bone ached. But I’d survived. And I’d survive it all again and again if it meant I got to start for our opening game in a couple of weeks.
Most of the guys began peeling out of their shoulder pads and jerseys, but I went straight for my sports bag, digging out my cell phone. My smile widened when I saw the two text messages from Summer.
“Who has you grinning like the cat who got the cream?” Michael asked as he passed me on our way to the showers.
“No one,” I grumbled, shielding the screen from view.
“Would that be the same no one you spent most of last night texting?” Jenson dropped down beside me, trying to peek at my cell.
“Fuck off,” I snapped.
“Summer? Who the fuck is Summer?”
“She’s... my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend.” He almost choked on the word. “When the fuck did you go and get yourself a girlfriend?”
“It’s a long story,” I said, already regretting saying anything.
“One you apparently forgot to tell me about every time we talked this summer.” His brow went up, accusation dancing in his eyes.
“It’s complicated.”
“It always is. You know Sasha is going to flip when she hears this.”
“Which is why you’ll keep your mouth shut, yeah?”
His hands shot up. “My lips are sealed. But seriously, a girlfriend? I mean, I’m happy for you, I guess. But I’m kind of surprised. You never seemed to want... that.”
“I didn’t.” I dragged a hand down my face. “But she’s...”
“She’s what?” He studied me. “She got a golden fucking pussy or something?”
My fist slammed against his thick arm, and he whined like a little bitch. “Jeez, I’m just yanking your chain. But for real, it’s serious?”
I shrugged, trying to figure out how to explain what Summer meant to me. “I’m hoping to talk her into coming up this weekend. I want her to meet you all.”
“Meeting the teammates. Hell has frozen over.”
“Fuck off. Summer means a lot to me, and it’d mean a lot to me if you can get on board with this.” My team were like my extended family. Especially Jenson, Michael, and Zac. I wanted them to like Summer, to make her feel welcome.
His eyes widened, a grin splitting his face as he clapped me on the back. “Of course we’ll make her welcome. Was just surprised is all. But I’m happy for you, man.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.”
Now I just had to persuade her to come.
“JB, a word?” Coach Salamander poked his head out of his office. I pulled a towel from my bag and rubbed it over my hair and face before making my way over to him. “Yes, Sir?”
“Come on in, Son.” I followed him inside, closing the door behind me.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I went ten rounds with Wilder, Sir.” There was little point trying to lie to Coach, he always saw straight through our bullshit. “But I’m glad to be back.”
“You looked good out there today. A little stiff on the pass but it’s to be expected.” Coach relaxed back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. “You think you’re ready?”
My jaw clenched at his sharp gaze. “I think so, Coach.”
“Well, get ready, Son. There are a lot of people counting on you this season. But I’
m going to be honest with you, JB. I wanted you to redshirt. Rotator cuff injuries can be complicated. You know the stats.”
“I know,” I breathed, not liking where this was going.
“If I get so much as a whiff of you in excessive pain or hear you’re struggling on the field, you’re out. Your father might hold sway with the President, but this is my team and you’re my player and I won’t take unnecessary risks. You feel me?”
Throat dry, I nodded.
“Good. Now get out of here and get a shower. And I want you to keep your nose clean and your head on straight for the next couple of weeks. No wild parties or drunken escapades. I don’t need my star QB injuring anything else before the season kicks off.”
“Not going to be a problem, Coach.” Especially not if Summer came up this weekend and every one after that if I had anything to say about it.
I left Coach’s office and headed to the showers, but not before checking my cell phone again. While Jenson had been trying to hide his surprise about me and Summer, I’d been trying to persuade her to say yes, but she was still playing hard to get. Still, I remained optimistic, because while I wasn’t anything like my father, I was still a Holloway.
And we were used to getting what we wanted.
“IT’S A PARTY, HOLLOWAY. Don’t look so fucking miserable.” Michael grinned, knocking back his shot in one. He shook his head going straight in for another.
“You want?” Zac asked, but I held up my hand in a no. “Suit yourself,” he added.
“Coach doesn’t want him taking any risks,” Jenson said, hooking his arm around my shoulder.
“But he’s cool with you having a girlfriend? A long-distance girlfriend?” Michael narrowed his eyes and I flipped him off.
“Wicked Bay is hardly long-distance. It’s barely a ninety-minute drive.”
“It’s junior year and you’re coming into the season with an injury. He’s going to shit a brick when he finds out—”
“I thought you said this was a party?” I shot back, feeling irritation simmer in my veins.
“It was supposed to be your homecoming.” He eyed me quietly. “But your heart doesn’t seem in it.”
“Ah, cut the guy some slack. He’s in love.” Jenson exploded with laughter, but I wasn’t laughing. All week, I tried to wear Summer down and just when I thought she was about to cave and agree to come to see me, she dropped the bombshell that her mom had made plans for them to go to the spa.
“Fuck off,” I ground out, taking a long pull on my beer. Coach had said to keep a clear head, but one or two drinks wasn’t going to hurt. Besides, I needed something to take the edge off my disappointment.
Sliding my cell phone out my pocket, as the guys launched into a discussion about the upcoming season, I discreetly checked the screen, hoping to see Summer’s name. But like the twenty other times I’d checked, there was nothing. She was probably still with her mom, having girls’ time.
Fucking girls’ time.
I was the one who needed girls’ time... time with my girl.
“Sasha-alert,” Jenson’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I followed his line of sight, groaning when she sneered in my direction.
Michael whistled between his teeth. “If looks could kill...”
“Don’t, okay? It wasn’t like I planned to hurt her. We were never together like that.”
“Try telling her that. She told Cheri she’s heartbroken. I don’t know whether she’s genuine or not, it’s hard to tell with girls like her, but I do feel kind of sorry for her. You’ve always been hers.”
“I was never... Whatever,” I grumbled. “Maybe I should go over there? Clear the air with her.”
“It’s your death sentence,” one of the guy’s mumbled, but I was too busy all up in my own head. When I’d told Sasha I had met someone, she had simply laughed at me, told me to go fuck myself, and hadn’t spoken to me since. But I’d seen the hurt in her eyes, the surprise and dejection.
Downing the rest of my beer, I threw the bottle in the trash can and made my way over to her. She flicked her head to the girls surrounding her and they scuttled away leaving us alone.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.”
“Listen, I just wanted to clear the air between us. I know I hurt you, but I didn’t—”
“Hurt me?” she laughed, but it sounded strangled and shrill. “You didn’t hurt me. I knew what we were. Besides, I already met someone else.”
“You did?” My brows knitted.
“Yeah.” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger, her eyes cold and guarded. “He plays for the basketball team.”
“Okay,” I said, confused. “So, we’re cool?”
“Oh, totally. We can be friends.”
“Friends, sure.” I jammed my hands into my pockets. This was... well, it was fucking weird. She was being so aloof, so disinterested. Maybe the guys were wrong, maybe she wasn’t that into me.
“I hope you’re happy, JB,” she said before spinning on her heels and strutting away from me as if I was no one.
“So, how’d it go?” The guys asked as I stalked back to them, still caught off guard by Sasha’s weirdness.
“She said she met someone else.”
“Oldest trick in the book,” Michael said with a hint of amusement. “She’s trying to make you jealous, show you what you’re missing and all that.”
“She is?” That seemed a bit... desperate. Especially when I’d never made her any promises. But then, what did I really know about all this shit? It’s exactly why I’d never dated before now.
Dated? That word didn’t do even an ounce of justice to what I felt for Summer.
“So, what do I do now?” I asked my friends as they stared at me like I’d lost my fucking mind.
“Knowing Sasha,” Jenson said. “Just pray she doesn’t fuck everything up for you and your girl. Because girls like her spell trouble.”
“Why the fuck did you let me keep her around then?”
He shrugged. “Because you wanted a regular fuck and she’s hot.” It sounded so shallow now, but he was right. Sasha was willing to be around for me and she never asked for more than I could give her. It was a simple arrangement—or so I’d thought. But there had been something in her eyes just then, a glint I didn’t want to try to decipher. Because I knew the guys were right.
Girls like Sasha did spell trouble.
And that was the last thing I needed right now.
Chapter 23
Summer
“Crap,” I mumbled to myself as I pulled a U-turn, earning me an irritated honk from a passing car. “Sorry.”
It was almost nine on a Saturday and I was well and truly lost. I’d been driving circling College Heights for almost twenty minutes looking for JB’s house. I wanted to surprise him, to see the look on his face when he opened the door and found me standing there on his doorstep, but at this rate, I was going to have to call him to rescue me.
Checking the road was clear, I leaned closer to my cell phone which was doubling as my GPS, and tried to figure out where the hell I was supposed to be going. “Left, straight, right, right, and it should be right there.” But I’d done that already twice and still hadn’t found the damn house.
I pulled over and put the car in park, inhaling a deep breath. How hard could it be to find a house? But I was so nervous I couldn’t think straight. All week, JB had tried to persuade me to come to see him, and all week, I’d put him off. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him, I did. More than anything. But I was scared. What if I turned up only to discover the kind and charming and utterly gorgeous guy who had saved me this summer actually turned out to be the conceited self-absorbed jock everyone warned me about?
No, I didn’t really believe that. But it didn’t stop the nervous energy zipping through me.
“Focus, Summer, focus.” I studied the GPS again and slowly pulled back into the steady stream of traffic.
Mom and Dad hadn’t been impressed when I
’d announced I was driving the ninety-minute ride to San Diego. They’d gone as far as to offer to drive me, like I was fifteen and needed a chaperone to the school dance. It was embarrassing how much they babied me still. I hadn’t even bothered telling my brothers, I didn’t want to send them to an early grave.
“Okay,” I said to myself as I directed the car down a new street, one we hadn’t tried before. “This looks promising.” Relief and pride swelled in my chest when I spotted a row of houses, but it quickly turned to gnawing anxiety when I spotted the people coming and going from one of the bigger houses, set back off the street away from the other houses.
I eventually found a parking spot and made my way up to the house. Music filtered out the open door and windows, the sound of chatter and laughter floating on the breeze. This didn’t look like a low key gathering, it was an all-out party.
“Fresh meat,” a guy called, spotting me hovering on the porch looking all kinds of awkward.
“I, hmm, is JB here?”
“You mean Holloway?” The guy blinked as if he’d misheard me. “Sasha know you’re here asking for the QB?”
Sasha?
Who the hell was Sasha?
A hollow pit carved itself in my stomach.
“He’s expecting me,” I said meekly. It wasn’t entirely true, but the sooner someone told me where to find him, the better, because I was beginning to think coming here was a huge mistake.
The guy frowned, slurping from his Solo cup. After he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he said, “You’ll probably find him around back.” He pointed to the side of the house. I thanked him and hurried away but his voice gave me pause. “Hey, if Holloway’s busy look me up, because I wouldn’t mind getting to know you a little better, baby.”
I flinched not glancing back as I slipped through the gate and into the house’s yard. People were everywhere. Shirtless guys, half-naked girls. Some were dancing, others sat at the edge of the pool watching the water polo game happening. And suddenly I felt very out of place. I didn’t fit in here.
