Lost to the Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novella (A Penguin Special from Signet Eclipse)

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Lost to the Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novella (A Penguin Special from Signet Eclipse) Page 8

by amanda bonilla


  For a moment, time stopped. Everyone froze, either slack-jawed in wonder or wide-eyed in disbelief. Sure, Kadambari had warned Rylon that if he crossed her she’d gut him with a rusty blade, and she’d warned that I’d pay for breaking her rules, but her threats didn’t mean shit to me. I refused to stand by while an innocent like Mithandra signed her life away out of love for her sister.

  “Tyler,” Mithandra said with wonderment. “What have you done?”

  “He’s signed his own death warrant, that’s what he’s done.” Kadambari stalked toward me, stepping again over Rylon who just couldn’t seem to pull his shit together. “You should know better than to fuck with me, Jinn,” she snarled. “Do you think I simply drank your blood for the fun of it? I don’t need to hold your marker to own you.”

  Gods. Blood magic. How I fucking hated it. I doubted her threat was meant to simply frighten. She’d already failed to stir any true fear in me. No, we’d passed idle threats about a mile back. We were smack dab in the middle of listen-to-me-now-and-believe-me-later territory. “You’re not going to own anyone ever again, Kadambari.”

  “Don’t be so sure. I know what truly frightens you, Tyler, and I’m connected enough to make sure that your fears become a waking nightmare.”

  On the magic and power scale, Jinn rank pretty high up the ladder. Okay, so technically, we owned the ladder. Our only limitation had been placed on us eons ago by the Synod when they declared our power could only be used to the benefits of our Charges. I supposed it helped to keep us from becoming too arrogant. Otherwise, we would have conquered the world in its infancy. Which meant fear wasn’t an emotion that I had much experience with. Until recently. Now, it seemed my fears ate at me constantly, leaving me ragged and raw. Exposed.

  “Love is quite the handicap, isn’t it?” Kadambari mused. “Do you think it was a coincidence your human friend came to possess that marker? He was quite easy to deceive. I’d have thought you would choose wiser companions, Tyler.”

  This was a setup? My mind cranked into overdrive as I connected the dots from Levi, to me, to . . . Darian? Jesus Christ.

  “We know all we need to know now. My queen will be pleased with what I’ve discovered. Your lover will pay for the death of my queen’s only son. As for your offence against me this night . . .” Kadambari smiled. “I could taste your fear above all the others. So sweet and rich. I know what plagues you, Jinn. I don’t have to run a blade against your skin to cut you deeply. All I have to do is hurt her, and I’ll have you on your knees, begging for mercy.”

  Frost crawled along the floor, leaving intricate, sparkling trails as my anger manifested. This was bad. I had no idea who Kadambari’s [adaif">Froqueen was, or her son for that matter. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that somewhere, sometime during our working relationship, Darian and I had accepted money to kill the Raksasha Queen’s son. The risk of retaliation was always a factor in our line of work, but this was so not good. I should have never given the ghoul my blood. Fear made her stronger, and of course, she’d devoured mine. Way to play it close to the vest, idiot. I’d given her all the ammunition she needed to launch a full assault.

  On Darian.

  I loved her so much it was almost crippling in its intensity. My fear that someday I’d be too late to save her, that I’d fail her somehow, was a constant presence in my thoughts. So much terror churned in my gut at the thought of losing her—to Xander, to her foolish decisions, to her own fears of opening up and trusting—that I lost countless nights’ sleep worrying over it.

  “You’re as good as dead.” The words tore from my throat in a growled warning and my breath fogged in the chill air.

  “As is she.”

  All bets were off. Technically, Kadambari had threatened my Charge, which meant I could unleash whatever hell I wanted upon her. Power stirred within me, collecting like a building storm. I could kill her with a thought. A simple flick of my wrist if I wanted. I didn’t want her death to be as easy as flipping off a switch, though. I wanted her to pay for what she’d done to us here tonight. And I wanted her to know that no one threatens what’s mine.

  A gust of wind rose in the air, mingling with the cold of my anger. Mithandra summoned her wind and it whipped through the bar, scattering chairs and sending tables sliding across the dance floor. Sam was somewhere behind the DJ platform now, screaming as if he was being torn limb from limb. Rylon remained on the floor, curled into a tight ball, and Freya stood behind her sister whose expression echoed the ferocity of her wind.

  I braced myself for an attack from Kadambari . . . for the wind to slam me into the nearest wall . . . for Sam to run screaming through the bar with a butcher knife . . . anything, really. I let my magic build to a fevered pitch, sending it in a concentrated burst toward my target. Energy funneled out of me with the force of an explosion and sent the ghoul flying through the air. She crashed into a stack of chairs, foot-long splinters of wood protruding from her arm, both thighs, and torso. Mere flesh wounds compared to what I’d deliver upon her next.

  As my power built once more, I caught a dark shape from the corner of my eye. Sticking to the shadows, it crept along the walls, avoiding the heaviest impact of Mithandra’s wind. Eyes as brilliant as citrine stared out from the black hood of a balaclava, locked on the Raksasha ghoul who pushed herself to stand, laughing maniacally as the wind whipped her shining black hair around her shoulders and face.

  “I own you!” she screamed over the howling wind. “I own all of you!”

  I watched as Kaii wound through the bar, staying behind Kadambari in order to launch a surprise attack. Dollar signs whizzed by in my mind as I thought about what I was going to have to pay the Reaper if it managed to get to Kadambari before I did.

  A war between revenge and reason raged in my mind as Kaii moved within killing distance of Kadambari. I still had so few answers. I wanted Kadambari dead. Now. The ghoul held Rylon’s marker, but could I be sure she [ bes, sealso held Levi’s? She obviously reported to someone higher up, and her queen had set her sights on Darian. In a perfect world, Kaii would have come to Kadambari once the games were concluded, interrogated her, and then killed her. I’d given the ghoul ammunition against both me and my Charge, and there were things in this world that death couldn’t even stop. If I killed her now, would revenge be taken? Could her queen somewhere, sometime find a way to Darian? If I killed her, my questions would go unanswered. But if I didn’t, Levi, Mithandra, and Freya would suffer.

  I couldn’t risk innocent lives based on my own doubts and fears.

  Our bond was strong. Despite our many problems, I knew that I could protect Darian from anything. I’d let our relationship problems muddy the water between loving her and protecting her as though they were one in the same. By the very definition of who I was, harm would never come to Darian as long as she was my Charge. “Do your worst,” I shouted over the roar of the wind, keeping her attention fixed on me as the Reaper’s face lowered to Kadambari’s ear. “Like I said, you’re not going to own anyone. Ever again.”

  My limbs trembled as the energy contained in my body fought to escape. I wanted her to suffer, but more so, I just wanted her dead. I focused my energy on a simple thought to end it all: Dead. Before the thought manifested through my power, Kaii leaned in as if to bestow a kiss to Kadambari’s cheek. The Reaper pulled the balaclava down, lips pressed to the ghoul’s skin. Like poison, veins of black spread from the contact point, over Kadambari’s face and chest, a series of webs and branching lines. The whites of Kadambari’s eyes were swallowed by black and her flesh began to flake as it turned to dust. Kaii pulled away and a black diaphanous form followed as it left the ghoul’s body and hovered beside Kaii.

  “My queen will dine on your lover’s flesh, Jinn!” Her disembodied form shrieked before Kaii took a deep breath, drawing Kadambari’s soul into her . . . or . . . his . . . mouth.

  As Kaii swallowed Kadambari’s soul, the wind died to a gentle breeze and no longer rang in my ears.
r />   Mithandra took a step toward me and I held up my hand. “No. I’m too volatile. Give me a minute.” The unused energy gathered under my skin like a festering wound. My flesh grew ice cold, bluing as I drew deep, controlled breaths. Minutes passed and the storm calmed, leaving me weak and shaky. You could bet I’d get a call from the Synod for this one. “You’re worth the bonus, Kaii,” I panted as I leaned against a nearby chair for support.

  The Reaper gave a deep bow, turned without a word, and headed for the front door. I couldn’t be sure, but I swore Kaii swayed with uneasy steps, arms hugging a lean torso as if holding it together. I pulled my gaze from Kaii’s dramatic exit, and my eyes met Mit

  handra’s, her expression that of relief and wonderment. Sam was still screaming—somewhere by the bathrooms now—about the Chupacabra he’d just seen slinking out of the entrance. Mithandra and I shared a silent moment, both of us clearly exhausted and ready to put this mess behind us.

  Gods. What a night.

  Chapter 10

  “Sorry about the mess,” I said as I helped Levi right an overturned table.

  “Are you kidding me?” Levi said. yed ^s, seelped LeviI’d much rather deal with this than carry that marker around for another second. I swear the damn thing weighed fifty pounds.” I supposed that the weight of impending death could be quite heavy, but I was glad that Levi was free of that burden. “You know, I still want to pay if you’ll let me. I shouldn’t get a free pass just because we have history.”

  I’d been right about the hazard pay. It was going to take me a year to recover the money I’d paid Kaii, though I didn’t want Levi to know that. “It goes beyond history,” I said simply. “I told you, I help my friends when they’re in trouble.”

  “I know, but—”

  “But nothing. Just drop it, okay? It’s over and you’re not going to die anytime soon. Got it?”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Levi said as he began to sweep up a pile of broken glass. “So . . . are you still leaving town?”

  I paused and then set another chair in the “Ruined” pile. Gods, this place was a mess. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I haven’t really had time to think about it.”

  “That rumor you had me start wasn’t a rumor, was it, Ty? You and Darian, you’re really calling it quits?’

  The way Levi made it sound, our separation had been mutually agreed upon. But truth be told, I’d made the decision to take a break. She’d begged me to stay, to give us a chance. “Sometimes, it’s best to take a little time off,” I said, though it didn’t really answer Levi’s question. I’d told Darian that she needed time to get her head straight and to figure out what she wanted. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that it was me who needed time.

  “You guys are meant for each other,” Levi said absently as he continued to sweep. “In fact, I’ve never seen two people more perfect for one another.”

  “Yeah, right.” We constantly fought for control. She wanted to be tough, and I wanted her to be vulnerable. I liked food with substance: you know, a steak every now and then, but she wanted to live on cereal. I couldn’t stand that she insisted on risking her life. And she—well—she just couldn’t see why it would bother me.

  “The thing about Jinn,” Levi continued as if talking to himself, “is that you’re all so freaking protective. Seriously, dude, it makes you all a little batshit insane if you ask me.”

  “Funny,” I remarked. “I didn’t ask you.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m giving my opinion, anyway. You guys just . . . hover. You’re worse than helicopter parents. Think of Darian like a teenager. The more you crowd her, the more she’s gonna push you away. It’s not that she wants you gone or anything, she just—I don’t know—wants to make sure you know she’s capable of managing her own life.”

  I didn’t say anything right away. Of course I was “freaking protective.” I was programmed right down to my damned DNA to protect. “Would you ask a fish not to swim so much? Or a wolf to maybe lay off the hunting? No, because you can’t reprogram a creature’s nature, no matter how hard you try.”

  “Exactly,” Levi said with a sly grin. “So why would you expect her to change? Sure, it might not be in her nature to be a roaring pain in the ass. Or, maybe it is, who knows. All I’m saying is that when you start trying to change pe c toe inople, you’re setting yourself up to fail. When you love someone, you love them for everything. Even their faults.”

  Cocky little bastard. “Sage wisdom for a kid just barely out of diapers.”

  Levi snorted in amusement. “Yeah, well, you hang out with supes long enough, some of those ancient smarts are bound to rub off on you.”

  It’s never an ego boost to get schooled by a kid who has enough life experience to fill a shot glass. Levi was right. If I didn’t learn to give Darian room to breathe, I’d lose her. For good. You’d think after so many centuries of existence, I’d have learned all the lessons to be learned. But honestly, I didn’t have much experience in the love department. I’d had relationships with other women, sure. My feelings for Darian were so intense, though, it went beyond a simple word like love. I couldn’t think straight. There were days I wanted to grab her and lock her in a room she had no hope of escaping just so I could be sure that nothing would happen to her. The thought of harm coming to her shook me right down to the barest part of my soul. It scared me in a way that left me raw and shaking. I couldn’t keep up like this.

  “I need to take a step back,” I said, low.

  “I get that,” Levi said as he scooped up the pile of broken glass in a dustpan. “Seriously, she’s a total ice queen sometimes. You’d have to have the patience of a saint to deal with her. Which you do. Opposites attract, Ty. Just don’t stay away from her for too long. You don’t want to leave any doors open.”

  No need to ask him to clarify, I got the gist of his warning: Don’t give Xander an in. The Shaede King was no fool. Despite her tough exterior, deep down Darian yearned for an emotional connection and Xander would exploit that weakness in her without thinking twice about it. “Another week.” I held out a garbage bag for Levi to dump the glass into. “Just, you know, to take a breather and get my head on straight.”

  “Fair enough,” Levi said. “It’ll give you time to get this place into shape.”

  “Please,” I scoffed. “This place wasn’t five-star to begin with. Any big fixes will be like putting lipstick on a pig.”

  “Hey!” Levi countered, clearly offended. “Don’t talk about my baby like that. She’s the classiest bar in Seattle.”

  “You work here part time,” I quipped.

  “But I love her full time,” Levi said with a grin.

  We continued to clean up the mess left in the wake of Mithandra’s wind in relative silence. I was still hurt by Darian’s actions, and yes, I wanted to make her aware that her actions have consequences. I loved her, but we would never have a healthy relationship as long as we kept up this power struggle. The phone rang, and I barely heard Levi answer as my thoughts swirled into a tangled knot. Gods, why did relationships have to be so damned difficult?

  “Ty?” Levi said tentatively, holding the phone out toward me. “It’s for you.”

  His tone was as confused as my thoughts. No one knew about my connection to the bar but Levi. So getting a personal call here in the middle of the day sent up all sorts of red flags. What now?

  “This is Tyler,” I said into the receiver.

  The voice on the other end sen cothrif">t me rocketing through my past. I hadn’t heard her voice in so long; I’d almost forgotten what it sounded like. “Tyler,” she said, bordering on desperate. “I’m in trouble.”

  “What is it?” I replied, fighting to keep my tone level. “What’s going on?”

  I listened as she spoke, her words so rushed that they bled into each other. “He never leaves me alone. Never. I don’t know how much time I have. If he catches me . . .”

  She continued to give me a vague rundown of her situa
tion and I scribbled a few notes down on a napkin. As if this new emergency wasn’t enough, my body tingled and rushed with power as another wish was made. And like the others that I’d lost count of over the past week, this one went unfulfilled as well. “Where are you?” I asked, brushing the distraction of Darian’s needless wish aside.

  “Moscow.” Russia. Great. “Tyler, I need you.”

  The magic words. Okay, so not the words that sent my actual magic into a frenzy. Not the words reserved for my Charge. These were the words I wanted to hear. Not as a protector, or a Jinn, or some creature who didn’t have time for emotions. She needed me. Me. Darian’s unanswered wishes made it obvious that she didn’t need me right now, but someone else did. Someone I cared deeply about. And I had to go to her.

  “I’m coming,” I said into the receiver. “Everything’s going to be okay. I’m going to take care of you.”

  “Promise me, Tyler,” she said. “Promise me you’ll be here.”

  “By morning,” I answered. “Hang on, okay?”

  The phone went dead without a word in parting.

  I turned to Levi, and I could only imagine what my expression looked like. His eyes were wide, his mouth sort of slack. “What’s going on?” he asked gravely.

  “I’ve got to leave for a while.” Gods, why did all of the women I knew have such a knack for getting themselves into trouble? “Do me a favor while I’m gone, okay? Keep your ear to the ground. If you hear anything about Darian, call me.”

  “So, basically, you want me to spy on your girlfriend while you’re out of town?”

 

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