by R. S Burnett
“Did I mention how good it is to see you again? Tucker smiles at me as he helps me up and off the stage.
“Sorry about your T-shirt” I shrug at him smirking.
“Oh hey Jo, This is Tucker, Tucker this is Joanne” I introduce them both and head back to the bar not looking back but hearing her giggle “Call me Jo”.
“So who’s the guy?” Lucy asks handing me a towel so I can attempt to stop my hair from dripping all over the floor.
“Who?” I ask from under my towel.
“The one you just left half naked”
“Oh … That would be Tucker Lloyd, we went to uni together. Do you remember when my friend Sophie visited?” I ask tuning to watch Tucker and Jo with her.
“Yeah” she says not taking her eyes off him.
“Well remember her boyfriend Matt, that’s his cousin”
“He’s cute” she notes
“Yeah” I agree to the understatement of the century.
“So what’s he like?” She asks turning to face me.
I shrug “Well tonight’s the fist time I’ve spokayen and seen him in two years so I don’t really know what he’s like anymore”
“What was he like then?” She pushes.
“Umm outgoing, confident, had sex with anything with legs…” I trail off.
“So basically he’s Andrew”
“Worse than Andrew”
“And hotter” she sighs.
“Just be careful, from what I remember he was only ever interested in one thing, and it wasn’t how you got home in the morning” I caution noting the gleam in her eyes.
“Do you two have history?” she asks turning back to the crowd.
“We used to friends” I reply turning around with her and catch Tuckers eye, he’s been watching us.
“Used to be?” she asks confused.
“When I left, I never wanted to see him again” I sigh and walk away to serve my last drink of the night.
That night when I get home I head straight for my bedroom. Kneeling on the floor I pull out the box from under my bed that is full of things from my life before I moved here.
Curled up on my bed, over the covers I flick through some of the photos I haven’t looked a for two years, I watch as the first tear falls on the photo in my hand and trails a wet line directly between Tucker and I, I stash the photos under my pillow and cry softly into the empty room until sleep swallows me.
For the first time in a long time, I don’t sleep peacefully as the old nightmares return.
Chapter Nineteen
“Brooke!” Lucy calls me over to me as I make my way through the bar. “I’m getting off in a minute” she grins at me.
“Want a hand?” I ask noticing the large group of girls waiting for their drinks.
“Don’t you dare, it’s your birthday. Give me two minutes, Andrew’s already got a table” she points with her head and I turn to see where he is sat.
“Why are the band sat there?” I ask as I watch Tucker and Andrew throw their heads back laughing.
“Oh Andrew and Tucker have gotten close” she says as if I should already know this.
“Great” I mutter to myself and help her down as she climbs over the bar with a tray of shot glasses, a bottle of tequila and then hands me two jugs of beer and stack of glasses.
“Don’t hold back baby girl” Will calls to me over the bar. I wink at him and head over to the table where everyone stands to greet me a happy birthday.
“What’s the plan?” Jamie asks once we’re all seated.
“The plan is to get the Birthday girl wrecked!” Andrew shouts and everyone at the table cheers.
“We’re going to play ‘I never’” Mel announces to the table. “Rules are simple we all have to take turns to say something we have never done, if anyone at the table has ever done it they take a shot” she explains unnecessarily while handing us all out shot glasses and then filling them. “Birthday girl goes first”
“I have never woken up naked on a train” I announce then burst out laughing when Andrew empties his shot glass. “That is so random”.
“I have never has sex with a man” he says smirking as all us girls throw our shots back.
“I’ve never kissed a girl” Lucy smirks at the boys then drops her jaw as I throw my shot back.
“Something you wanna tell us Brooke?” Andrew grins down at me.
“I had an eventful university life” I shrug.
“Is this something you witnessed?” he asks Tucker seriously, hoping for a good story. I glare over at Tucker but he ignores it.
“If I remember correctly it was straight after she finished her pole dance” he chuckles when gasps of “no way” go up around out table making me roll my eyes.
“You’ve been holding out on me Brooke?” Andrew asks looking me over.
“You hardly know me” I wink at him.
“Oh I know you” He winks back
“You couldn’t handle me at my best” I smirk at him.
“I’ve never danced on a bar” Cam chuckles as I take my shot then pout at the table.
“Come on guys, your killing me, I won’t be able to walk after twenty minutes of this” I complain.
“I’ll help you out Brooke” Jess assures me “I’ve never made a sex tape”
Everyone watches the table when no one takes their shot and then Andrew clears his throat and looks pointedly to my shot glass.
I growl but then take my shot. Everyone stares at me open mouthed.
“You have not made a sex tape!” Lucy shrieks at me making me blush.
“Oh she has” Andrew grins “How do you think Dan has seen her naked?”
“You made a sex tape with Dan” Lucy, Mel and Jess all scream at me simultaneously.
“No I didn’t, he found it” I grimaced remember all the weeks of torment I went through after that.
“So who was it with?” Lucy leans forward.
I look around the table but avoid everyone’s eyes
“No one, it was just me. I forgot about the camera I had set up in the spare bedroom” I snap embarrassed.
The girls all burst out laughing and the boys swap hi fives between saying “I gotta get a copy of that”, “Fucking hell”, “that’s so hot” and “Bloody hell Brooke” the last one from Tucker with a look of awe in his eyes.
“You lot think you know me but we’ll see” I roll my eyes at them “I’ve never been caught having sex by my mother, while doing it on the washing machine, in her kitchen, on Christmas day” I say happily glancing at Mel when she takes her shot.
“I’ve never drunk dialed three people and threatened to kill them, in the same night” She smiles at me as I take my shot.
“I’ve never gone out in public wearing odd shoes” I say looking over to Derek.
“What neither have I” he asks confused, I raise an eyebrow at him and point under the table. Moments later everyone is laughing and he’s taking his shot.
“I’ve never had five men pour jugs of water over me in front of a hundred people” he smiles back at me.
“I’ve never” I say before taking my shot “asked my best friend to marry me” I smile over at Jess who shrugs.
“I was drunk and you’re cute” she pokes her tongue out at me making me roll my eyes. “I’ve never been approached by a police officer and asked him if he was a stripper when he asked to see my driving license” she smirks at me and Tucker snorts.
“I’ve never had sex with someone more then ten years older than me” I finish my shot and look over to Tucker who chuckles, shaking his and takes his shot as the boys all pat him on the back saying “Dude!”.
“I’ve never stripped in front someone whilst breaking up with them” he raises an eyebrow at me and I wince remembering Jason.
“OKAY I get the point people, next game or I’m going to be on my ass in a minute” I complain feeling the beginnings of the alcohol taking affect.
“OKAY so because it’s you’re twenty third bi
rthday we get to ask you twenty three questions, no thinking about it first answer that comes into your head” Andrew informs me.
“OKAY, hit me” I say sinking into my chair as they all start firing questions at me so fast I can’t even tell who’s asking what.
“Ever had a one night stand?”
“Yes”
“Ever been arrested?”
“No”
“Ever been in love?”
“Yes”
“One person you love?”
“My dad”
“Have you slept with anyone who’s in the club tonight?”
“Yes”
“Ever been proposed to by a boyfriend?”
“No”
“Have you slept with Dan?”
“No”
“Would you ever sleep with him?”
“No”
“How many people at this table have you kissed?”
“Five”
“How many did you kiss properly, with tongue?”
“Two”
“What’s one thing you miss about being in a relationship?”
“Oral sex”
“Why?”
“Because I like to give my boyfriend a blowjob every morning to see that he has a good day”
“Are you real?”
“Yes”
“How do you like your men in bed?”
“Erect”
“Have you always sucked at bets?”
“Yes … no wait I don’t suck!”
“Apparently you do … have you always been sarcastic or is it just since you moved here?”
“Always”
“Do you have a tattoo?”
“Two”
“One thing that turns you on?”
“Tongue”
“What’s do you mean?”
“Just a tongue, it can be in my mouth, on my hand, on my neck, anywhere just the feel of a tongue.
“One thing that is guaranteed to make you come during sex?”
“Sucking my neck”
“What underwear are you wearing right now?”
“White lace thong”
“What bra?”
“I’m not wearing one. Have you not noticed my strapless dress?”
“Are you still a whore?” the last question is whispered in my ear. I jump up out of my chair screaming and hug Sophie who’s just crept up behind me.
I laugh at her question “What are you doing here?”
“Didn’t think we’d miss your birthday did you?” she laughs as she releases me and Matt immediately pulls me into a hug.
“God I love you guys” I sigh as I pull out two more chairs for them at our table. “You know everyone right?” I ask before pouring them both a drink to which they nod and greet everyone.
“What have we missed” Sophie asks settling into the group like she’s known them all years.
“I have a few questions about some of your answers” Lucy grins at me.
“Oh no” I groan.
“Let’s see. The tats for one” She says still grinning at me.
“I was wondering about them considering what you were wearing the other night there isn’t too many places they can be” Derek points out.
“Tats? As in plural? I thought you only had one” Sophie asks intrigued.
“I have two” I stand and turn pulling my hair away from the back of my neck where there is a simple script reading Sine Virtus, Sine Laus across the back of my neck.
“What does it mean?” Mel asks staring at the tattoo.
“It’s Latin it means no courage, no glory” I reply sitting back down.
“The other one?” Jamie asks raising an eyebrow.
“I’m not going to be showing any of you my other one”
“The two people at the table you have kissed?” Jess asks.
“Andrew and Tucker” I reply when everyone looks between me and the two men.
“The person or people in the club that you have had sex with?” Lucy asks
“I’m not answering that” I reply
“Okay anyone at the table?” She asks looking at Andrew and Tucker who are both watching each other.
“Enough questions, you had more than you’re twenty three” I plead not answering the question.
Everyone at the table heads over to the dance floor leaving me with Sophie and Matt.
“So Tuckers here” Sophie notes.
“Yeap and you didn’t tell me” I turn my most accusing look on her.
“You seem to be getting on fine” she shrugs
“It would have been nice to be prepared. You know the fist time we bumped into each other, I was wearing a pair of shorts and a bikini top while dancing on the bar” I stress
“Sorry, I didn’t want you to freak out” she apologizes once her laughter is under control. “How is it between you two?” she asks seriously now.
I shrug “Fine I guess”
She sighs “Brooke, it can’t be fine, the last time you two spoke … he hurt you ... you told him you loved him … you were both so angry” she struggles to fit a sentence together.
“We haven’t mentioned that” I explain
“What? How can you have not talked about it?” She demands slapping her hand on the table causing everyone to look at us even the band. I turn to her.
“We just haven’t that’s part of my past and in case you haven’t noticed I’ve left all that crap behind me when I left. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m a different person now and I hope he is too”
“Bull, have you been with anyone since him?” She demands
“I’ve had boyfriends” I defend feebly
“Have you slept with any of them?” she pushes
“Only one since him” I shrug “I haven’t met anyone that you know…” I trail off unable to explain it.
“I know Brooke but two years? I know you’re a different person now and I’m so happy for you but you either have to talk to him or get over him”
“I am over him; I have been for a long time”
“OKAY fine, so you’ve noticed how him and Mel keep staring at each other and flirting with each other. They are probably going to have sex tonight, how does that make you feel?”
“Sick” I admit looking down at the table.
“See you still have feelings for him” she insists softly.
“And we all know how well that worked out the last time. In fact if my memory is right, half the university saw how well that worked out last time” I snap.
“That was two years ago, feelings that last this long when you haven’t even spoken to or seen him and after what he did are strong Brooke”
“I can’t trust him again Soph”
“He saved your life Brooke”
“Yeah so he could tick another box on his list” I practically growl at her.
“That’s not the reason he did it and you know it” she says while rubbing my arm.
“I never would have been in that position if it wasn’t for him in the first place” I tell her getting both her and Matt’s full attention
“What do you mean?” Matt asks looking slightly sick.
“Remember that night I came back to the dorm after Beth slapped me and I stormed out?” They both nod silently “Well I went to my mum’s house and woke them all up by banging on the door. My mum answered and I barged in there I was winding up him and she went for me but I elbowed her and then he came after me which is what I wanted and then I just lost it and attacked him. He tried tackling me but I moved and he fell into my mum and they both fell down, I grabbed a lamp and attacked him. I attacked him Soph and I couldn’t stop, he was bleeding out and I carried on. The only reason I stopped was because Phin was there and called my name. After that I knew he would try to kill me” I take a deep breath pushing back the memories of the night and trying to hold back the tears. “The point is, that if Tucker hadn’t hurt me in the first place, I never would have gone back there again”
“He nev
er meant to hurt you Brooke” Sophie says softly to me.
“No so what about humiliating me, accusing me of cheating on him, using my past against me in an argument and calling me a whore. In front of everyone we knew? Because to me that isn’t something you do to someone you care about”
“He was hurt Brooke” Matt insists.
I snort “Yeah so was I” I feel a stubborn tear roll down my cheek and quickly wipe it away. Remembering the look on his face when we were arguing. The hurtful things he said to me all come back at once as it if was happening now.
I’m not even all that surprised…
I should have known from the beginning…
Play the abused quiet girl …
Making me care for you and then what, what is this? Some sort of twisted lesson you are attempting to teach me? …
Getting me back for all the girls that I slept with and never bothered with again? ...
Is that it …
Do you want to know why I did it? …
I had never been with a virgin before you were just something to cross off a list…
Because you’re a whore?...
I squeeze my eyes close and breathe through the pain of my heart breaking all over again. The tears won’t stop coming. I shake my head to try and clear it as I push the memories back.
“He loved you Brooke” Sophie whispers adamantly.
“No!” I shout at her, not caring who’s watching us anymore. “Two years Soph!” I practically scream at her as I push my chair back roughly and stand up. “Two fucking years, that’s how long it’s been and do you know how I got through it? By not thinking about it!”
“Brooke, I’m sorry pretend I never said anything” She says starting to stand.
“Forget it” I shake my head “I know exactly how to end this”
I clean my self up in the bathroom and take the time to calm down.
I just need to take my mind off it and the pain will fade away just like always.
Running a few ideas through in my head I take my place behind the bar.
“Everything OKAY Brooke, you look pissed and not the type you should be, considering it’s your birthday” Will asks putting a protective arm around my shoulders.
