by Matt Cowper
Of course, I believed Befouler was either behind this entire conspiracy, or knew who was, but this new revelation created even more questions. Why would he align with the DOT and Woodruff? Had Woodruff just hired Befouler as a villainous outside contractor to shore up security, or were they working together to conceal their role in Captain Neptune’s murder?
“Johnny?” Netmaster said, waving a hand in front of my face. “You look like you’re thinking about this mighty hard.”
“I am,” I said.
“Well, think about what you owe me, too,” Netmaster said. “Some third-world countries have gone bankrupt trying to pay off debts this large.”
“Whatever, smartass,” I said, chuckling. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Befouler is now, would you?”
“I do, actually,” Netmaster said. “Once I knew it was him, I started searching the Net. He’s a difficult man to find now, but everyone leaves a footprint somewhere. I found one of his, and traced him to the old Xexon chemical plant.” He twirled a cord between his fingers. “I tell ya, it always feels great when you switch from the hunted to the hunter.”
“I would not know,” Dak rumbled. “I have never been hunted in my existence. I have always been the one hunting weak, foolish prey, prey that entreats for their lives once I corner them.”
“Oh, of course you’re the exception, Dak,” Netmaster said.
“Thanks for this, Netmaster,” I said. “You guys haven’t paid Befouler a visit yet, have you?”
“Nah, we’re leaving that for you, big guy,” Baldwin said. “You gonna head over there and have a Q&A session – maybe with that Deathrain gal?”
“Yes, I’m gonna pay him a visit – with or without Deathrain,” I said. “First, I’ve got some things to do at the office. Oh, and that interview goes live soon. Be ready for it.”
“I haven’t forgotten,” Netmaster said. “Just email me with the deets.”
“Alright,” I said, rising. “Thanks again, guys. When this is all over, let’s all go out to Vinnie’s Steakhouse and celebrate.”
“If you’re paying, I’m in,” Baldwin said.
“Cheapskate.” I opened the door, and hopped down to the pavement.
Baldwin started up the van, and, like the last time I’d met with them, it sounded like the entire thing was going to blow. But it still had some miles left on it, because Baldwin drove down the street making a godawful racket, and then, after one final wave, turned the corner and was gone.
“You ready for yet another supervillain battle, Dak?” I asked. “I’d like to enlist Deathrain in this mission if possible, but we may have to go it alone.”
“The presence of Deathrain would indeed be advantageous,” Dak rumbled, “but I am prepared for any situation.”
“Good to hear.”
I walked back to Mardi’s building, entered through the creaky front door, and started climbing the stairs to my office. I hadn’t got far before the door to Mardi’s first-floor “love-making” flat banged open, and the grass-covered landlord herself bustled out.
“Get back here, Wagner,” she said, following me up the stairs. “We need to talk about the large amount of money you’re going to pay me for all the crap that wind-blowing jackass broke.”
“Not now, Mardi,” I said, climbing faster. “I’m busy.”
“Yes, now, you lame-ass PI.” She pulled out a piece of paper from a tuft of grass. “According to my calculations, you owe me $10,000.”
“What?!” I said, slamming to a halt and turning on my heel. “Are you crazy?”
“I thought that would get your attention,” she said, smiling slyly. “Pretty steep, huh? But if you mow me a few dozen times, I may drop a zero from that number.”
“I’m not mowing you, and I’m not paying you $10,000 to repair a few cracks and a busted door,” I said, resuming my climb. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
“You are not excused!”
“Grass woman, return to your den of lust and leave us be,” Dak rumbled. “Dakroth’gannith’formaz has heard enough of your grating voice and your petty manipulations.”
“Johnny, I’ll shove that God Arm of yours so far up your ass….”
I’d reached my office, and I slammed the door behind me, but since it was busted, it didn’t close properly. Mardi kicked it open and followed me in, ranting all the while.
Jared stood in the center of the office, holding the metal ball that was all that remained of Erna Tuppingham Mark-355. He was completely absorbed in it; I could almost see the calculations racing through his mind.
“Mardi, my secretary died yesterday,” I said. “That’s her right there. Now, me and Jared need to figure out what to do, whether she gets rebuilt or—”
“OK, we’ll talk later,” Mardi said, surprising the hell out of me. “I knew some robots in my previous line of work. Good folks. You get attached to ’em.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“But don’t think me being a little bit sympathetic gets you off the hook!” she yelled, waving a green finger in my face. “$10,000 or a lot of mowing! Your choice, Wagner!”
She gave a snort, and then walked away, muttering to herself.
I turned to Jared. He was still staring intently at the glinting ball in his hand.
“Jared?” I said, poking him in the shoulder. “You there?”
He blinked a few times, returning to reality. “Oh. Hey Johnny. Sorry, I was just calculating some stuff.”
“Listen, I’m sorry about Erna.”
“It’s fine,” Jared said. “I’ve been meaning to build a new model anyway. Mark-355 had some glitches that were aggravating me. For example, sometimes she transposed her words: ‘dispersed’ for ‘disappeared,’ or ‘tome’ for ‘roam.’ And there’s this new processor on the market, supposed to be beyond lightning-fast. I think it’ll make Erna’s mind even quicker.”
“Oh. Well. Glad you aren’t upset.” I grinned sheepishly and scratched my head. “When you do rebuild her, she’s more than welcome to work here again.”
“Yeah, she liked it here,” Jared said. “I have no problem with her staying on.” He set the metal ball down on the desk. “How did she perform in the fight? I worked hard on her combat apparatus.”
“She’s one of the reasons I’m still alive,” I said. “Without her, and without a distraction from Mardi and Vannetti, Gale Force would’ve slaughtered me.”
“I dispute that,” Dak rumbled.
“Of course you do,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Jared beamed. “I’m glad to hear that. Did you use defense protocol A?”
“Yeah, I thought it best, given the situation.”
“I agree. B or C wouldn’t have been very useful against a villain as strong as Gale Force.”
“Excuse me,” someone said, “I’m looking for a cowardly private investigator. Is this the right place?”
Jared and I turned, and standing in the doorway was Waverush. His bronzed muscles bulged, and the eyes behind his mask burned.
“Shit,” I said under my breath. I’d told Erna to notify me when Waverush woke up, but Erna had been crushed, and with so many other things going on, I’d forgotten to keep tabs on Captain Neptune’s former protégé.
“What was that, Mr. Wagner?” Waverush said. “Did you just say ‘shit’? As in, ‘I’m in deep trouble now’?”
“Uh, no,” I said. “That is, I mean…so, how was your hospital stay?”
“Restful,” Waverush said, stretching. “I feel like a million bucks – much better than you feel, I believe. You look like you’re running on fumes.”
“I’ve still got enough left in the tank to trounce you again, Flipper,” I said. “That is, if you’re up for another round.”
“I am,” Waverush said. “From what I gather, you’re still messing around with this Captain Neptune case. I can’t have that.” He cracked his knuckles. “This time, I will persuade you to drop your investigation – or you’ll be the one lying in a coma in St. Joseph
ine’s.”
“You are nowhere near water now, Rusher of Waves,” Dak rumbled. “The advantage lies with us. Prepare to be humiliated.”
Waverush just smiled cockily and advanced towards me.
“Jared, you might want to hide in my office,” I said.
“No way!” Jared said. He reached into his pockets and pulled out some sort of gizmo; it looked like a small-scale blender attached to a flashlight. “I can help you!”
“Out of the way, kid,” Waverush said, lunging forward and slapping Jared in the face. Jared sailed into his grandma’s desk and then hit the floor with a thud. His blender-flashlight, now broken, rolled to a corner.
“Jared!” I said, crouching next to him. “You OK?”
“Yeah…I’m fine,” he whispered. “I think…I think I’ll sit this one out.” He squeaked a few times, then wisely curled into the fetal position and put his hands over his head.
I stood up and whipped off my jacket and glove. My God Arm was swirling red and black, with streaks of white shooting through it, like comets.
“Let’s rumble,” I said.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Waverush leapt at me, but I rolled out of the way and came up with my back to the wall. Even though he hadn’t touched me, pain sliced through my body; my stitches were straining, and my bruises felt like someone was using them for a large drum set. I grimaced and raised my God Arm.
“Dak, an energy beam, any kind!” I thought-spoke.
“I was impressed with the eye-beams of Baldwin With The Big Eyes in our earlier battle,” Dak rumbled. “I will try to mimic them now.”
A yellow beam shot out of my palm. I had to brace myself to keep from sliding backwards; it definitely felt as powerful as Baldwin’s eye-beams.
But Waverush danced aside, and the beam crashed through the wall. I shut it off before it blasted through the entire building.
“Slow learner, aren’t you?” he said. “By now you should realize you’ll never tag me with your little light shows.”
“I guess I’ll have to tag you, then,” someone said.
There was a bang, and Waverush groaned and lurched forward, grabbing at his back. I looked around quickly, trying to find the source of what was apparently a gunshot.
“Ah, the alluring virago returns,” Dak rumbled.
Deathrain was standing in the doorway to my office, her sniper rifle smoking. She was in her assassin’s costume: leather mask, camo pants, tank top. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago we had been snuggling on my twin bed.
“Deathrain?!” I said. “What—”
“I followed him from the hospital,” she said. “He sprinted the whole way, and I had to hop across rooftops, so I was a little behind.”
“You,” Waverush said, slowly descending to the floor.
“Yes, me,” she said, walking over and nailing him in the forehead with the butt of her rifle. He grunted, but shook his head and tried to get back to his feet.
“Oh, stop it,” Deathrain said, hitting him again. “You can’t fight this stuff. It’s designed to immobilize superhumans far more powerful than you. Just lie there and answer our questions.”
Waverush tried to rise once more, then gave up and fell to the floor.
“Good boy,” Deathrain said. “So – how are you, Johnny?”
“We are beyond euphoric, now that you are again in our presence,” Dak said. My God Arm was, of course, now swirling pink and purple.
“Stop it, Dak, you’re getting me excited,” she said, laughing. “We can have fun later. Right now, we’ve got work to do.” She bent over Waverush. “You able to talk, fish boy?”
Waverush looked up at us blearily. “You…will regret—”
“Tossing out threats when you’re lying on your back, completely helpless?” Deathrain said. “Not very intimidating.”
“I should’ve…never…saved you,” he said weakly.
“Saved you?” I said. “What’s he talking about?”
Deathrain glanced at me, then looked away. “There are some things I haven’t told you….”
Jared cleared his throat, startling me; in all the hubbub, I’d forgotten about him.
“Um…I’ll be going now,” he said. “You look like you’re going to do barely-legal things to this guy, and…well, I’ve had enough excitement for the day.”
“OK, Jared,” I said, walking over and placing my hand on his shoulder. “You sure you’re OK?”
“I’m not hurt, but I am a little rattled.” He smiled self-deprecatingly. “Not as useful as Erna, am I?”
“Don’t knock yourself,” I said. “You tried to help, didn’t you? Waverush just happens to be a superhuman, and you don’t. No reason to feel ashamed.”
He smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Johnny. I’ll see you around.”
“OK,” I said. “Hurry up on Mark-356. I miss her already.”
“I will.”
He left quickly, leaving the three of us – or four of us, if you counted Dak. I turned to Deathrain.
“So – what haven’t you told me?” I asked.
“Don’t act like I’m the only one withholding information,” she said hotly. “Up until last night, you didn’t tell me anything.”
“Oh…I see,” Waverush said, his eyes flicking back and forth between us. “You two…are together now.” He let out a half-cough, half-chuckle. “I didn’t think he was…your type. No…I’m not thinking. It’s that God Arm, isn’t it?”
“We’re not together,” Deathrain said firmly. This stung me more than it should have; I noticed the colors on my God Arm dimmed a bit as well. “We’re…it doesn’t matter.” She grabbed Waverush by his hair and pulled up his head. “We’ve got questions. Answer them, or I hurt you even more.”
“I’ve got questions,” I said. “Stop ignoring me.”
“Yes…tell him how I…rescued you,” Waverush muttered. “And tell him about…the reward you gave me.”
“Deathrain?” I said, clenching my God Fist.
She stared at my God Arm for a long moment. “Fine. I’ll tell you.” She stood up and crossed her arms. “I told you I was hired to kill Captain Neptune, right?”
“Yes, you did,” I said.
“Well, I lied about some details,” she said. “I did have a chance to kill Neptune – but I screwed it up.”
I glared at her. “Go on.”
“I tracked him down to Central America, where he was picking up the stuff he smuggled,” she said. “Figured it’d be easier to take him out down there and dump his body in the jungle. He was on a beach, about to jump into the ocean and return here with his cargo. I took the shot. Ultimatium-tipped bullet. Would’ve ripped right through his skull.” She touched her sniper rifle absently. “But I didn’t hit him in the skull. The bullet went right by – didn’t even graze him.”
“You missed?” I said.
“I don’t miss,” she said. “That bullet should have blown out his brains – but he dodged it.”
“How?” I said. “He wasn’t that fast – was he?”
“Not normally, no. But, as it turns out, he’d consumed a lot of the drugs he was smuggling – namely, Overdrive Juice. You know the stuff?”
“I’ve never tried it,” I said, “but I know it enhances a person’s abilities, especially if they’re a superhuman.”
“It certainly enhanced Neptune’s,” she said. “I’d studied him. I knew his capabilities, even if he took a large dose of Overdrive Juice – or so I thought.” She clutched the side of Erna’s desk. “But he must’ve taken more than a large dose of the stuff. It should’ve been fatal; it would have been, if you or I would’ve taken it.”
“He’d been an addict…for years,” Waverush said. “He built up a high tolerance. And there were other…performance-enhancing drugs.”
“I didn’t know all this,” Deathrain. “I should have, but…it was hubris, I guess. When you’re on top for so long, you eventually get complacent.” She pounded the desk once, twice,
thrice; I thought I could hear bones breaking. “I thought he was just a doped-up run-of-the-mill superhero – an easy target. But he’d become quick enough to see and sidestep a bullet fired from the most advanced sniper rifle in the world.”
“Then what happened?” I said.
“Then he was on me before I knew it. I’d set up a half-mile away, high in a tree, but he reached me in what felt like five seconds. He’d broken my leg and shattered half my ribs before I knew what hit me. I threw everything at him: blackout serum, grenades, poisoned throwing knives. He shrugged it all off and kept pummeling me.”
She pounded the desk again, and this time I did hear the sickening crunch of bones being shattered. She looked at her mangled hand, then shook it a few times, as if she was trying to toss off a bug.
“Don’t worry, it’ll heal,” she said when she caught me watching her.
“I know,” I said, though seeing her hurt herself turned my stomach. “So he defeated you? Is that what happened?”
“He more than defeated me,” she said, looking down at the floor. “He broke every bone in my body, including my spine. And….”
I waited for her to continue, but she just stood there. Finally Waverush spoke: “He ripped…her clothes off. Tried to…rape her. That’s what happened.”
“Rape?” I said. “Deathrain? Is that—”
“I…intervened,” Waverush said. “I saved her.”
“You?” I said. “Why were you there?”
“I was tracking Neptune too,” he replied. “Trying to find out…what he was doing down there. I’d heard the rumors, and I knew he was screwed up, but I…never suspected…the full extent….” He coughed. “You’re lucky I was there, Deathrain…or he would’ve raped you, then killed you – he would’ve ripped off your limbs, ripped off your head, and I don’t think you could’ve healed from that, could you?”
Deathrain said nothing.
“You beat Neptune?” I said.
“No, I just…distracted him,” Waverush said. “I knew some of his weaknesses. I played mind games with him. Told him…Patrick Anderson was alive and well, and that Molly and Julia…were coming to take him home, make him be a good father and husband, for ever and ever. No more superheroing for him. He became furious, then confused. I was able to get in a few cheap shots, hurt him a little…and get Deathrain out of there.”
