by Elisha Bugg
Thane scoffed, shrugging his shoulder when she tried to turn him back to her. She still didn't understand. He wasn't finished yet, the worst was yet to come.
“Even though Neela told them who I was, and that I wasn’t going to hurt them, Philip dragged Lizzy away looking back at me in disgust and anger. We thought nothing more of it after hearing no word for days, but we were wrong.”
His heart squeezed tight as the memories of what happened next flooded his mind. Tears building in his eyes before he clenched his jaw, ready to continue.
“A week or so later, some of the humans came onto our land, storming our homes and burning buildings to the ground, shouting we were dangerous and needed to die.”
Even now Thane could hear their chants and the screams coming from his own family. His mother's and sister's cries piercing through him, making his heart ache.
“They pinned my father to the floor, stabbing him repeatedly as my mother and sister screamed, helpless. Then they turned to me, my mother's screams changing to sobs and pleas as she begged them to spare me.”
They hadn't listened. He was responsible for killing a man, even if that man had been a murderer and a rapist, it didn't matter to them. Thane was dangerous.
“Four of them pinned me to the floor whilst another stabbed me between the ribs with a blunt kitchen knife.”
Thane absently rubbed at his side, the feeling of his scar burning as he remembered the deep cut slicing through his skin and piercing his lung. Anya gently nudged his hand aside, holding hers against the spot that seemed to be throbbing now.
He let her hold him, let her warmth and comfort anchor him.
Would she drop her hand when he'd finished?
“My mother and a few other females fought off the men, many of them dying in the process. My mother was stabbed and slashed before she managed to reach me, shielding me with her body as they continued their assault.”
Thane clenched his fists tight, picturing each of their faces as they loomed over him, killing his mother with each draw of their weapon.
He glanced across at Anya, wondering why she had gone silent. Her eyes were shining a brilliant green as she stared up at him, her bottom lip quivering.
“H-how could they?” she asked, noticing he was now watching her, “you were just saving her, and they treated you like… like.”
“Monsters,” Thane finished for her, “that’s what most people treat us as, Anya. It’s something you’ll find out for yourself, unfortunately.”
“H-how did you survive?”
“I never realised until it was too late that my mother was pouring her energy into me before she died. She sacrificed herself in order to keep me alive, protected beneath her.”
If he'd have known sooner, he might have told her to stop and keep fighting for herself. For years he'd wished he'd died along with them, only now he had someone else to fight for and protect.
“All the men attacking assumed I was dead. Philip’s dad kicked me as he passed, grunting that I wouldn't be bothering them again,” he sighed, cupping her cheek in his hand and never wanting to let go. But she had to know the truth. How else could she ever hope to accept him.
“What about your sister?”
“She managed to hide from them, running into the woods like she was told to do if anything ever went wrong.”
Neela had always been a master of stealth, giving their parents a headache when she hid from them. Their father, Felan, always thought she would make a good soldier, but she wasn't cut out to be a fighter like him. She was submissive, like their mother, destined to be a healer; just like Anya.
Though Anya was in no way submissive, hers and Neela’s personalities were so similar, it pained him to look at her right now as silent tears fell across her cheeks.
She moved to close the distance between then, attempting to wrap her arms around him in comfort, but he couldn't let her. Not yet. She needed to know what happened afterwards.
Thane held up his hand, keeping her at a distance even though inside he was screaming for her touch. She didn't fight him like he expected her to, just sat and cocked her head to one side, asking the one question he knew was coming.
“I don’t understand why you feel like you’re the one to blame here. It was them that attacked you. So why do you feel guilty?”
“I should never have let them see me transform. I'm the reason they attacked.”
“They should have been grateful to you and your family for helping save one of them, not chase you away and destroy your lives,” she paused, twiddling with her thumbs, glancing toward him for a second before staring at her hands, whispering her next question.
“What happened to your sister?”
Thane knew he'd have to explain, but he wasn't sure he could.
This time he pulled her close to him, needing her touch despite his fear that she'd push him away.
“After they all left,” he began, squeezing her hand tight as he held it against his chest, easing the ache in his heart, “I followed her scent into the woods, shifting into the wolf knowing I'd be stronger.”
It had been agony moving, but he pushed through it needing to know his sister had made it out, shifting and relying on the wolf's strength.
“It didn't take me long to pick up her trail, spotting her footprints in the dirt first, followed by her unique scent on the trees. Only the closer I got, the scent changed.”
The metallic stench of blood made him pick up his pace, praying she was just injured, that he could help her heal. Moving as fast as his body would allow him.
“When I found her, she was laying on the floor in her wolf form, blood dripping from her side.”
He raced toward her as fast as his body would let him, sniffing and nudging at her face, trying to wake her.
“S-she wouldn't wake up, no matter what I did,” Thane whispered, his voice cracking as he tried to hold back his tears.
Neela had meant more to him than anyone else, and he hadn't been able to protect her.
“They'd managed to get to her first, stabbing her multiple times in the side. Blood was pooling around her.”
Thane didn't understand how they'd found her. She was always so well hidden, unless someone had followed her, or tricked her into coming out. It didn't even look like she'd had a chance to put up much of a fight; the slightest amount of blood on her claws and muzzle.
He heard a noise from beside him. When he turned, Anya's face was wet with fresh tears, her eyes red and bloodshot as she held a hand over her mouth trying to hold back her sobs, but he had to continue.
“I was alone for a long time, but I never forgot what happened. Every year I went back to the same spot, paying respects to my parents, my sister, and my pack mates.”
The town surrounding his old home never stopped growing, forming the town he was now in. Huge and busy, not one of its residents aware of the events that happened years ago.
Edwin, one of the few Guards who'd helped save him back then had built his home on the land, planting a small tree in the garden in the exact spot Thane had found Neela, helping him keep the place sacred.
“When I turned thirteen, I came back to place flowers on each of the graves I'd dug for my pack, honouring each of them in turn, but as I stood over Neela’s grave, something inside me snapped,” he sighed, rubbing a hand across his nape as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to focus anywhere but Anya's eyes.
“I followed my feet and found myself standing in the middle of the human's town. Not one of them seemed to recognise me, but then, why would they? They all thought I was dead.”
In some ways, he was grateful nobody knew him. It meant none of them would see it coming, but part of him still wanted them to run in fear when they saw him coming.
Anya gasped, gripping her hand tight around his forearm as he risked a glance toward her. He could see in the swirling depths of her eyes that she knew what he was about to say.
“I spotted Philip, and his dad, casually standing in the
distance, laughing and joking to one another. I lost it, shifting and killing them both, but I didn't stop there.”
The wolf had finally won the battle and took over his mind, eradicating all humanity and logical thought.
He no longer cared who got in his way, he just wanted vengeance, wanted to make them all pay for taking away everything from him.
"I hunted for every one of the men that attacked our pack, and I slaughtered them. Destroying everything they had, but still I couldn’t stop. I killed everyone in the village, old or young, guilty or innocent. It was just so easy to give myself over to the wolf, to wipe away all the pain and the sorrow I could feel with every inch of my humanity, surrendering to the blood lust and my need for revenge.”
Thane turned away from her again, but not before he saw her hands trembling, and her eyes shift to a dark green.
Was she now scared of him like so many others? Would she run away like she should’ve done all those months ago?
He couldn’t allow her to. Not now that he had stopped denying what she was. He couldn’t let her go no matter how much he knew he should. The need to keep her safe overwhelming all his other instincts.
“For a time, I was lost to the wolf, no longer feeling the need to shift back into a human.”
He had nothing to live for. All he wanted to do was stop hurting, and the wolf helped keep him numb, letting him live on instinct alone, killing anything that made him feel threatened. Taking what he needed to survive.
More than once, he’d starved himself, his need to be reunited with his family overwhelming his need to live, but the wolf always won, gaining full control, not letting him give in.
“How long?”
“A few years.”
It was such a long time not to change, his humanity all but wiped out. He still wasn’t sure how he’d been saved.
“Guardians came for me many times knowing I’d turned rogue; a monster that had lost his humanity. But even though I ended up killing many of them as they tried to calm me down, or take me out over the years, Lucas decided to spare me, insisting he could get through and train me as I was still so young.”
Thane was much closer to the wolf than any other shifter he'd met, feeling more at ease alone than he did in groups. Even now he sometimes felt the urge to just give in to the wolf so he wouldn’t have to remember all of the sorrow, or mourn for his family that he couldn’t do a thing to protect.
Only, now he had someone who made him fight his urges in order to keep her safe. But what if she walked away?
His heart skipped several beats as he waited patiently for her to speak, afraid she would try to run from him. If she tried, what could he do? His humanity hung in the balance, just waiting for her to make a move. If she ran, his mind would be lost, turning him into the killer he feared he was.
“Lucas saw your potential to be something more,” she commented, moving close to him now he wasn’t holding her back.
She placed her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to turn to her, her eyes still shining that dark green they had done before.
“You may have killed a lot of people, Thane, but you did it out of love and grief, something we can all relate to. Especially me.”
“Those who attacked us deserved to die and I do not mourn them, but all those innocents. Those Guards that tried to save me. I should have been stronger.”
“You were so young when they were killed, with nobody to guide you whilst you grieved for years,” she insisted, never allowing him to turn away from that impressive stare.
“Stop blaming yourself for something that happened so long ago. Yes, you may have lost control, Thane, but you’re the man you are today because of your past. You’re the man I love.”
He smiled at her then, his eyes filling with unshed tears as she accepted him, good and bad.
“Honestly, Thane. I was always more scared of your human self rather than the wolf,” she laughed.
“Thanks,” he huffed, nudging her gently with his shoulder.
“He’s only that way with you because he’s always known who you were.”
“You’re not a monster, Thane. Nor is the wolf. People just fear you because you have a fiery temper, but now I know why. I understand.”
How could he have ever thought she wouldn’t. This woman was incredible with her huge heart that saw the best in everyone.
He took a hold of her, wrapping his arms around her waist, needing to touch her.
“I know you were trying to protect me, just like I know Edwin was, but you no longer need to worry about that,” she said, smiling up at him, still stroking her hand over his cheek, “besides, who else can say they tamed the big bad wolf.”
Thane laughed, pulling her on top of him as he lay back against the sheets, closing his eyes and luxuriating in her scent and warmth.
He knew that if he ever stepped out of line, this feisty little wolf would soon put him in his place. She always had.
“Thane?”
“Mm?” he groaned, opening up his eyes to see her leaning above him, staring down at his face with a wicked smile.
“Can you shift for me?”
Chapter Thirty Eight
Thane continued to stare up at her in disbelief.
Of all the things he'd expected her to do or say, that was the last thing that crossed his mind. Though why it surprised him, he wasn't sure.
Ever since he'd met her, she'd gone against the expected, standing her ground and actually putting him in his place.
It made sense that now she would want to show him she wasn't scared of him, like she never had been.
"I know you're afraid you'll lose control, Thane, but I know you'd never hurt me," Anya began, resting her palms against his chest as she continued to gaze down at him, "I’ve never believed you would."
"I would never, and nor would the wolf. You're mine, and neither part of me would ever hurt you."
"I know. So please shift for me."
Thane wanted to change for her. He wanted to give her everything she wanted, but could he trust himself not to lose control and lose himself to the desires and blood lust of the wolf?
He may never hurt her, but there were still so many people around him that he wasn't sure he trusted the wolf with right now.
Would she really be able to tame him and keep the wolf in check?
"I want to feel your fur beneath my fingertips as I hold you. And I want to prove to you that you're not lost. Not yet. Not whilst I'm still here."
His heart clenched tight at her words. Could she really love him so much that she would risk all to save him from himself?
Thane closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, filling his lungs before he rolled her off of him, so he now sat staring down at her.
She didn't fight him, neither did she look afraid. In fact, her heart raced, her eyes glinting with joy as she smiled up at him, caressing his cheek tenderly.
He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes once again to savour the feel of her skin against his, longing for it to last forever.
He heard her rustling beneath him, felt her pressing against the bed as she pushed up and brushed her lips against his in a fleeting kiss.
"Alright," he sighed, hoping he had made the right choice.
Thane forced himself away from her and began to remove his clothing, piece by piece. Unable to keep the smile from his face as she watched on, devouring every solid inch of him. Her eyes glowing so bright, they made any gem look dull in comparison.
When she looked at him like that, it was even harder to rein the beast back in, but he must. He couldn’t have her whilst she still healed. He needed to be patient.
Anya smiled back at him, drawing his attention to her sinful mouth. A mouth he could envision wrapped around his ever-hardening length.
Thane growled deeply, his voice the first part of him to change, sounding more beast than man.
As quickly as the growl left his throat, the rest of his body began to transform. His nose and mouth
elongated into a muzzle, filled with deadly canines that glinted in the light.
His spine stretched and snapped into a new shape as he crouched over in front of her. Hands and feet shifting into paws with sharp claws that tapped on the wooden floor.
“Beautiful,” Anya gasped, reaching her hand forward to brush it through the thick, midnight black fur that now covered every inch of his body.
He didn’t hesitate, jumping back onto the bed beside her, making her squeal like a little girl as he circled around her, lying close behind, wrapping his paws around her middle.
She leaned back against him, cuddling up close and burying her face in the thick fur around his neck.
“You smell like the woods,” she sighed against him, taking an indulgent breath as she snuggled closer.
It felt right to hold her close like this. He never wanted it to end.
“Are you sure it’s alright for me to stay here, in your room?” she asked, watching him with heavy eyes.
“I don’t want you to leave. I want you by my side, always,” he replied, nuzzling his head against her waist.
He would never allow anyone to take her from him again.
Thane awoke as a human, surrounded by a delicious warmth he knew to be Anya snuggled against him.
He looked down at her with a smile. Her head resting against his chest, a hand delicately placed in front of her face. Long hair cascaded over his arm, spilling down onto the bed.
She stirred, rubbing her legs against his, causing him to stifle a moan.
He wanted her more now than he had before, fearing he would never get enough of her body wrapped around his.
Thane stroked his fingers down her back, cupping her bottom in his hand, squeezing gently. This time he couldn’t contain his groan as she writhed beneath his hands, her body rubbing against his.
He nudged his hand lower, grazing the inside of her thigh.
Her eyes snapped open, glowing a dazzling green as she stared up at him through eyes half-mast.
Biting down on her lip, she traced her fingers across his chest, touching, learning every muscle across his front.
She continued to stroke lower, gasping when she noticed he was naked beneath her. His fantasy of her mouth around him was making his body tremble as she licked her lips.
