by Jo Bailey
Enjoying a quick cuddle with Sam at the wedding breakfast and feeling so proud of him. This was prior to the meltdown he had at our wedding.
Our first photo taken as a family following our wedding. For a long time afterwards, the boys referred to this photo, which is in a frame in our living-room, as ‘the day we all got married.’
A family holiday – and our belated honeymoon – to beautiful Mauritius in August 2014.
Taken on a day trip to the Ile aux Cerfs.
This photo was taken by Will. Darren and me enjoying a few honeymoon cocktails (mocktails for the boys!) down by the waterside, Port Louis, Mauritius.
It took us over a week to prepare Sam for this dive but he did it! Not only did he learn how to communicate underwater, he was also brave enough to jump off a boat backwards into the ocean. He talked about this for days afterwards. He was so proud of himself and his beaming face and ‘OK’ sign says it all! Just incredible.
Life has come full circle, with Sam now volunteering to work with the pigs and all the other animals at Pennywell Farm. I am so proud of Sam and so grateful to the team at Pennywell for all their support.
Here, Sam is enjoying giving Chester a good brush in summer 2016. The traffic cone, television aerial and stepladders to the right of the picture are makeshift barriers to prevent Chester escaping his pen and charging on up to the cottage.
All photos from the author’s collection with the exception of those on here, here, here and here, which are reproduced courtesy of Sarah Lauren Photography, and the photo here which is reproduced courtesy of The Sun/News syndication.
Acknowledgements
This book would not have been possible without the help and support of many wonderful people, whom I’d like to thank here:
The National Autistic Society, who provided me with so much information when I began to research schools in the UK and who pointed me in the direction of all the Devon CAIRBs.
Chris Murray, for introducing us to Chester and for very kindly welcoming Sam to volunteer at Pennywell Farm.
Ruth Kelly, my co-author, for giving me the chance to tell my story. It has been a real pleasure working with you. For the record, you are one of the few people brave enough to get up close and personal with Chester! Also Susan Smith of MBA Literary Agents, who has guided me through this entire process with such professionalism. I have felt very safe in your hands and for that I am extremely grateful.
The fantastic team at Transworld Publishers for having faith in the story which we hope will inspire and bring hope to many others. A very special thank-you to Editorial Director Michelle Signore, who has been an absolute joy to work with, and to Sophie Christopher and Josh Crosley – particularly for the delightful goody bag you brought Chester all the way from London! Thanks also to Richard Ogle, who designed the cover, and to Nicola Wright, Josh Benn and Louise Jones.
Kate Moore, who worked with me through the final edits. It was a real honour and such fun!
All our lovely friends in Devon whose lives are touched by autism and special needs: Scott and Dawn Miller, Jo and Lee Lawton-Cook, Chris and Juliet Boardman, Rebecca Sadler, Lesley Mcgill, Tony and Sue O’Leary, Sandra Hart, Tamsin Summers, Simon Skinner and Sarah Morgan. You truly are some of the most resilient and resourceful people I have ever met.
Our fantastic neighbours, who have embraced the boys and Chester and welcomed us to their little hamlet with open arms: James, Debs, George, Jack, Sally and Rowan.
I am unable to list you all, but the entire staff at Manor Primary – an outstanding school that has given the boys an excellent start in life. Especially Ian Hemelik, Karen Dixon, Julie Solomon, Rob Wills, Sue Parker, Jo Chandler, Ian Rowland, and the fabulous ladies in the office.
The outstanding CAIRB team at Manor Primary. What an extraordinary bunch of wonderful women you are – Clare Ellison, Lisa Tomlinson, Catherine Macmilllan, Gayner Bennett and Gill Steele. And a very special mention to Sam’s amazing hands-on TAs, whose dedication throughout his primary years was just incredible – Nikki Short, Kay Scull and Jane Sharp.
All the professionals who have worked with Sam and me over the years – with a special mention and huge thank-you to two exceptional women, Ronni Hale and Marie Mills.
The staff at South Dartmoor Community College, especially Fiona Goodchild and Wendy Waters. All the CAIRB staff who do excellent work with not-so-easy teenagers on the spectrum; your dedication to the job is quite remarkable and I am so grateful for the support you offer Sam – Sue Nicholson, Monica Hannaford, Bev Fulford, Rachael Mitchelmore and Ian Karkeek. Also Hugh Bellamy and Jamie Morrison-Hill.
Dan Chapman, Sam’s enabler from Care & Support South West Ltd, who does amazing work with Sam every single weekend. You are a fantastic role model for my son and an absolute joy to work with. Thanks also to Khya, Chelsea and Matt.
All the friends and family who rallied round in the early days, and who helped me to build my case to bring the boys home; I really couldn’t have done it without you – the Walldens, especially Matthew and Vanessa, Alex McCann, Fran Yule, Timothy Wall, Carole Heinen, Andrea Yule and Antonio Reyes.
Andy Despard, our wonderful builder, who, no matter how far away, downs tools to come and get Chester back into his pen on the occasions I am unable to. Thanks also to Andy’s sidekick, Colin Bovey, for the daily treats you bring Chester whenever you are working at the cottage!
All our friends, old and new, for their continued love and support, and in particular our very special friends, Flora and Richard Bowler, John and Helen Butler, Lucy and Mike Wheeler.
The amazing Penny Wall, who has been there for as long as I can remember, for all the incredible support, advice and love you have given me and the boys over the years. Your friendship means everything to me.
My friend Lynda Russell – I am truly indebted to you. Thank you for all the support and encouragement I needed when I wanted to bring Sam home. The progress that the CAIRB children made under your care at Manor was inspirational and a testament to all your hard work, dedication and unfaltering belief that all-inclusion for these amazing children was the only way to go.
My wonderful in-laws, Dave, Marilyn, Tree and Olivia, Ian and Rose, for welcoming the boys and me into your family with such love and support.
My lovely sister, Sarah, and Simon, for all the laughter and the good times we have shared and for all the love and help you have given Sam and me over the years. And the coolest nephews any aunty could wish for – Tom and Dan! You boys are really special young men and you have helped Sam more than you can imagine. I am so proud of you both.
My amazing mum, who insisted I took Sam to see someone in those early days. Thank you for your ongoing love and support and for teaching me that in life the only failure is to give up trying. I can only hope I have acknowledged sufficiently within the pages of this book how very much you have done and still do for me.
My wonderful husband, Darren, for your wicked sense of humour, patience, kindness, and unconditional love. Life with you is such fun, you are an amazing father to the boys and we love you the world!
William, my happy-go-lucky chatty man, of whom I am so immensely proud. Sam is a very lucky boy to have a brother like you and both Dad and I feel so very proud to have a son like you. You bring us all such joy each and every day.
Chester, what can I say? He may be the most expensive and mischievous pig in Devon but he has filled our lives with joy and laughter. We hope his wonderful, smiley face continues to greet us each morning for many years to come – preferably not from the sofa.
And, last but not least, Sam: my special, special boy, who is so honest and pure and beautiful inside and out, thank you for showing me every day what life is really all about. I wouldn’t change you for the world, but if I could, I would certainly change the world for you.
About the Authors
Jo Bailey lives in Devon with her husband, Darren, and two sons, Sam and William. Moving to the UK from Spain in 2006 to find help for Sam, their lives we
re changed the moment they met Chester. Thanks to this lovable, larger-than-life pig, Sam has blossomed into a happy and confident teenager. Through Chester, he has learnt the value of friendship.
Ruth Kelly is an award-nominated journalist, who has ghosted a string of Sunday Times bestsellers including entrepreneur Michelle Mone’s autobiography, My Fight to the Top, Out of the Darkness by Tina Nash and You Can’t Hide by Tina Renton. Ruth has ten years’ experience in print journalism and television.
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First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Bantam Press
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Copyright © Joanna Bailey-Merritt and Ruth Kelly 2016
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Joanna Bailey-Merritt and Ruth Kelly have asserted their right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the authors of this work.
This book is a work of non-fiction based on the life, experiences and recollections of the author. In some cases names have been changed solely to protect the privacy of others.
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Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781473541405
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