“I’m glad you got the memo on what to wear,” she joked.
Rod grinned, and Maria was mesmerized by his infectious smile and kind eyes. Once again her stomach twisted and contracted. Maybe tonight they could finally clear up the weird vibes between them. She would love to forget the trip to Superstition Mountain ever happened.
Rod took a step back, looked at her, and then looked down at himself. “It’s like we’re dressed for a high school dance. Wow, does that bring back memories or what?”
“Do you want me to change?” Maria asked.
“No, no. Y-you look great. We’re fine.” Rod seemed to be stumbling over his words.
Nervous was not a good sign.
Or was it?
Maria wished she could flip the switch for her brain to off. She was over thinking everything.
As they drove in the car, Rod turned up the jazz music he loved so much and rolled down the window. The air was perfect—not like a hot blast from a furnace as it had been that afternoon—but instead the evening held a crisp, subtle mention of the chill that would settle on the desert floor later that night.
Rod drove into the local Subway parking lot. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d said casual. As he got out and walked around the car to open Maria’s door, she clenched her jaw tight for a few seconds, flexing as many muscles as she could, and then released the tension.
Relax.
The familiar smell of baking bread, olives, and ranch dressing pelted Maria the instant she entered the Subway. Once inside, they got in a long line of people who had also opted for a foot-long in lieu of a home-cooked dinner. Rod and Maria were negotiating what kind of sandwich to get when the bell on the door chimed; in walked Rod’s brother Grant, the ultimate playboy. Hanging on his arm was his latest conquest. The woman was tall. Five ten. Maybe five eleven. Broad shouldered. Toned. Blonde. With Grant’s California surfer facade, the pair looked like a couple straight off a magazine cover.
“Hey bro!” Grant called out to Rod. “You finally got back into town?”
Rod nodded, his eyes scanning the woman at his brother’s side. “Yep.” He cocked his head to one side. “Looks like you’ve made a new friend?”
Grant got in line behind Rod and Maria and introduced them to his date. Her name was Natalie. She’d come to Kanab to visit the Grand Canyon but had liked it so much she’d decided to stay a little while longer—maybe do some volunteer work at the animal sanctuary nearby. She’d known Grant a sum total of fifty-three minutes—to be exact.
“Good to meet you, Natalie,” said Rod. “This is Maria. She’s the—”
“—the local hero,” interrupted Grant. “This lady single handedly brought down two fugitives from Vegas while babysitting three kids. I mean, who does that?”
Taken off guard, Maria struggled with some kind of a comeback to downplay the comment.
“Did you read the article too, Rod?” Grant winked at his brother who nodded.
Maria’s slight flush exploded in a full-fledged heat wave. The attention was uncomfortable but short lived. Soon Grant, Natalie, and Rod had all moved on to a different subject.
After the sandwiches were ordered and the drink cups filled, Rod and Maria headed back to his car, for which Maria was grateful. She hadn’t wanted to eat dinner with Grant and Natalie. They were both nice, of course, but she’d been looking forward to time alone with Rod. With their sweet onion chicken sandwiches in his backpack, Rod drove to the base of “K Hill” and parked the car. “Are you up for a hike?” he asked.
“Always.” Maria opened her door and stood up, stretching. The open air immediately cleared her mind and calmed the nerves.
“K Hill” was a mesa on the edge of town where nearly a century ago residents had painted a white letter “K” midway up the mountain. The white paint brilliantly contrasted with the red dirt, and it was a symbol of pride for the town.
“I’ll race you to the ‘K,’” Rod called out.
“Where’s the trail?” Maria scrambled behind Rod, who was already several yards ahead of her.
“There isn’t one.” Rod scaled the face of the hill like a mountain goat.
Determined to beat him, Maria skirted a clump of boulders and headed up the mountain where the path seemed less rocky. Competition might as well have been her middle name.
Rod’s desire to win had also kicked in. Seconds later they were both sprinting up the face of the mountain, dodging Juniper trees, bounding over cactus, and scrambling up small cliff ledges. By the time she got to the painted letter she was panting and sucking in air. So much for a “couple’s hike.”
Rod had beaten her by mere seconds.
“H-how,” Maria panted, “d-id you do that so fast?”
“The left side is less steep than the right.” Rod wiped his forehead. “Helps to have climbed this thing so much in high school.” He grabbed his water out of his backpack and sucked down half the bottle.
“I must have missed that somehow during my time in school here.” Maria sat down on the edge of the letter “K.”
Rod joined her on the ground and grinned. “Well, the chess club had a special affinity for coming up here. Not sure why.”
“Ah, the chess club. If only I had been smart enough to hang with you guys.”
Rod threw a handful of Juniper needles at her, which she dodged. “Don’t go mocking my one claim to fame from high school.”
Maria threw up her hands in pretend surrender. “I would never do such a thing. But I am definitely ready for a sandwich.”
Rod unzipped his backpack. “One sandwich coming up.”
“Awesome. I’m starving.”
As the two of them enjoyed their sweet onion chicken deli creation, dinner conversation flowed—almost like old times. Questions flew back and forth. Some teasing. Lots of joking. They both skirted the topic of their trip to the Superstition Mountains. Instead, Rod asked Maria what other top secret missions she’d participated in during her time in the CIA. Maria rolled her eyes and asked Rod how much longer he planned to live, because if she told him …
“… you’d have to kill me. I know. I know, you’ve threatened before.” Rod reached out and poked Maria right below the ribs, startling her.
It was unexpected and … personal? Instead of karate chopping his hand, which was her first impulse, Maria choked on her last bite of sandwich and asked, “What was that for?”
“What was what for?”
“You poked me.”
“I did not.”
“What do you call this?” Maria stuck her finger into Rod’s side.
A conspiratorial look began to grow on Rod’s face. “That wasn’t a poke. That was me trying to make a point.”
“Oh, I get it.” Maria gave three more teasing jabs into Rod’s side. “That’s me making three points.”
Rod’s eyes sparkled in the evening sun, reminding Maria of how a child might look right before stealing cookies out of the cookie jar.
“And here’s me making another point.” Rod poked Maria a second time. She stifled a laugh. He cocked one eyebrow and then, like an animal stalking its prey, he maneuvered his hand to the back of her neck.
“No!” she shrieked. “Not there.” Maria tried to squirm free.
Within seconds the two of them were lying on the ground, ankles twisted together, rolling in the dirt. As the tussle slowed, Maria looked into Rod’s eyes, wanting to understand what he was feeling. Rod looked at her too, but not necessarily into her eyes. His gaze fell a little further down. More around the mouth area.
A growing ache formed in Maria’s stomach. She invited him in closer and he accepted.
Rod’s lips caressed hers, which is all it took. The feelings Maria had been pushing down since Arizona erupted within her. She melted into the moment.
Rod’s movements were eager but gentle. Maria kissed him back with more emotion that she realized she possessed.
The wrestling had stopped. The tickling had stopped. And Maria was pretty sure
the earth’s rotation had stopped as well.
It was just the two of them.
He kissed her more fervently and she mirrored his intensity. His hands were in her hair, on her shoulders, in the small of her back, pulling her closer to him.
His chest heaved. Maria sensed his heart beating rapidly. She stopped kissing him momentarily to open her eyes. She ran a finger down the side of his face, over his cheek bone, down his rugged jawline. The short stubble on his face was the type of manliness she found hard to resist.
Maria closed her eyes again, letting the feelings she was experiencing sink down into her very being. She wanted to savor every moment, every second. This night would be special. It would be….
“No.” Rod pushed her away from him.
Maria blinked half a dozen times. She felt dizzy. Almost woozy. “What?”
Rod sat up and scooted away from Maria. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away.”
Maria pushed herself off the ground, dusted the dirt off her shirt, and sat in front of Rod. “Oh. Okay. No big deal. I know things have been … different since Arizona. I’m sorry. I thought we were both … I don’t know …enjoying ourselves?”
Rod held up his hand, motioning for her to stop talking. “You don’t need to be the one to apologize. This is my issue.”
“Issue?” asked Maria. “What kind of issue?” Despite the lowering sun in the sky, she felt a rush of uncomfortable heat.
“I didn’t come up here to …” He trailed off.
Maria waited for him to continue.
At last Rod spoke again. “I didn’t come up here to get physical. I brought you up here to talk. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. I haven’t been feeling quite right.”
“I’d love to talk,” responded Maria, biting her lip. “I’ve noticed things have been a little bit … different lately.”
Rod sighed. “To be honest, Maria, I’m not sure about us. I’ve been thinking that maybe we need to see each other less.”
An unexpected snort escaped Maria’s mouth. “Really? Cause we hardly see each other as it is? What, twice a month?”
“Listen,” Rod sighed and stared at the ground, “that was lame. I guess I just need to say what I’m feeling, but I don’t want to hurt you.”
Maria’s hands trembled. Her defenses were up. She could feel survival mode kicking in. “It’s pretty hard to hurt me, Rod. I’m thick skinned.” Which was, of course, a lie.
Rod’s gaze dropped to the red dirt. “I’m really sorry about everything. It’s just that I’m so unsettled.”
“What you went through in Arizona was pretty rough. You need to give yourself some time. And, I’m fine to wait. But I want you to know I’m here for you.”
Rod shook his head. “This isn’t about what happened in Arizona.” Defeat filled his words. “At least I don’t think so. I mean, you’re right, at first it was hard. I was embarrassed I’d married such a loser and pretty shocked she’d tried to kill me. But I was feeling better, and then….” His voice drifted.
“And then, what?” asked Maria.
“And then a …” He stopped talking for minute and then slowly began once again. “I don’t know if there’s even a word for it.”
Maria’s heart was beating double time. “Well, try to think of one. I’m lost here.”
“Okay, call it a darkness—like a heavy shadow hovering over me. That’s how I feel, and I want to get out from under it. I need freedom.”
Maria had felt that before. Still did sometimes. “Rod, that’s part of the trauma you’ve been through. When we get home tonight let’s sit down and try to get to the bottom of this. There’s got to be a reason you’re—”
“Maria, I’m not hiding some big secret from you. I wish I could explain it better, but I know I need to do something different. I’m thinking about moving to California for a while.” He thought a moment and then continued, “I don’t get it myself. I guess I’m just messed up.”
Maria gave a hollow laugh that was an attempt to hide the rising distress in her gut. “You’re messed up? Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”
Rod looked at her, his face placid, his eyes tired.
Maria leaned closer to him. “I can help you. I know all about feeling crazy. Trauma does that. It took me over a year to not wake up in the morning and wish I was dead. I felt so guilty to be alive while the rest of my black ops team had been killed. They were the only true friends I’d ever had.”
Aaaand, she’d done it. Brought up Tehran. She should have kept her mouth shut.
Rod scooted back an inch or two in the dirt. His head hung low. “No, I don’t want your help. I don’t want anyone’s help. This is something I need to figure out on my own.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. I went to a psychologist. In fact, maybe you should call him. I bet Dr. Roberts would be happy—”
Rod held up his hand. “No. I don’t need a shrink. Please believe me when I tell you that I didn’t want things to end like this. I wish …”
“End?” Maria interrupted Rod. In seconds she’d gone from wanting to help him to wanting to slug him. “You’re ending the relationship? Just like that?”
“Yeah. I … I think so. I think we’re over.” Rod studied the back of his hands that were grasped together in his lap.
Maria stole a look at his face. His mouth was set in a frown, lines on his forehead burrowed deeply.
“Why do you want it to be over? Did I do something wrong?” Maria’s words had the tone of an interrogator.
“No, not at all. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just don’t think I’m a steady relationship kind of guy.” Rod picked up a few small pebbles and tossed them to the side. They seemed to move in slow motion and then they landed with a thud that echoed in Maria’s chest.
Maria’s heart and her mind waged a war with one another. Her heart begged her to reach out to Rod, convince him he was wrong and that he wasn’t thinking straight. Her mind, on the other hand, urged her to drop Rod like a hot potato. She opted for something in between. “Rod,” she said slowly, “let’s try tonight over again. I’ll keep my distance. I’ll give you space. There will be no tickling … or anything like it. I think you just need a little time. Arizona was hard. It—”
Again he held up a hand to stop her from talking. “No. I let my hormones get the better of me earlier, but this isn’t a good thing anymore. That’s what I came up here to tell you.”
A dam of emotion broke inside Maria.
It wasn’t a good thing anymore? That was news to her. Until a few seconds ago she would have told anyone who asked her that Rod was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Maria physically recoiled from the pain. She had let Rod in. He had broken through her wall she’d spent decades fortifying. He’d even made it past her facade of “toughness” she’d perfected during her time in Tehran.
And all for what?
For nothing.
Rod had rejected her. Anger flooded past her crumbling dam of emotions along with fury and resentment.
Rod shifted uncomfortably where he was sitting. He didn’t look Maria in the face.
“Fine. It’s over.” Maria’s mouth was as dry as the desert air. “But just for your information—just so everyone has their facts straight—I wasn’t the one who pursued you in the beginning. You came after me. And I’d like to remind you that in Arizona I could have walked away.” The words blazed off her tongue. “But I didn’t. I stuck it out. And this is the kind of thanks you give me?”
“Please don’t,” Rod said quietly.
She couldn’t stop herself. If there was one thing Maria knew, it was that this break up would not be pretty. “After you were arrested for, oh, you know, killing your ex-wife? Where were your ‘best’ friends? Were they the ones out proving you were innocent? Nope. That was me. And for what? So you could take your disappointment in your former marriage out on me? Let me be clear on this one point—I’m not Dakota!”
“That’s not what this is about.” Rod turned his face away from Maria.
“You could have fooled me.” The words tumbled off Maria’s tongue. “But if it’s not that, then I guess it’s just me you don’t like. Not a problem. I’m out of your life.” Maria stood up, slapping dirt from her jeans.
“Maria, please believe me. I do want us to still be friends.”
Silence.
Friends? Had he really just used the friend line with her?
“Well, I don’t.” Deep hurt—that was all Maria wanted Rod to feel. She knew it was immature of her, but she didn’t care. She played her part well, if she was trying to be one of those jilted women on sleazy cable talk shows. Her feelings for Rod had become so deep her devastation seemed to have no bottom.
Maria pulled her jacket off from around her waist and slipped her arms into it, hoping it would help her shivering. “If you’re done talking, then so am I.”
“Yeah, it’s getting late. We’d better head back down.” Rod grabbed his Subway sandwich wrapper on the ground and crumpled it in his hand. “It’s going to get dark soon and we have one flashlight.” He pulled it out of his backpack and switched on the light.
Maria didn’t move toward the beam. “I’m staying up here a while. I’ll find my way down later.”
“No, please don’t. I’ll worry about you. I’d like to drive you back home to make sure you get there safely.” Rod reached out for her arm.
Maria snorted. “This wasn’t a date. This was a dumping.” She caught herself and changed her tone. “And I’ve taken care of myself for a lot of years.” A shallow laugh. “I’ve been in worse situations than this. It only takes thirty minutes to jog all the way across Kanab. You don’t need to worry.”
Rod stared at her, his face anguished. He then nodded. “You’re right. You can take care of yourself. I’m sorry it had to end this way, Maria. I really am.”
Riddles that Kill: a gripping paranormal mystery Page 3
