Maybe I just need to stop thinking. Varton always says that once my brain starts running, it’s like a hamster on one of those wheels. And I know that I overthink. Okay. Stop thinking. Just relax and think about something else. A good book…
Only, she hadn’t read anything for pleasure in almost a year. Even the audiobooks she listened to were all about self-improvement. And the flute she had bought, intending to pick it up again, was just sitting on the shelf, collecting dust. Maybe that was why everything seemed to be spiraling out of control here. At this cabin, there wasn’t anything to do but relax and think. And everything Lizzie did to keep her thoughts from overwhelming her was far, far away.
Well, then obviously she had to try something else. She got up again and stripped, pulling on her bikini before wrapping herself in her towel. Some people would say that she wasn’t slim enough to wear a bikini, but Lizzie had this one for tanning. Normally, she wouldn’t wear it in public, simply because she didn’t want the comments she was bound to get. Now, though, it was the only one she had. Besides, who was here to give her nasty looks for daring to wear something she was comfortable in?
Only Philip. And she didn’t look around to see if he was in the main room (he wasn’t) as she stalked to the door and headed out.
The air outside, unlike what was in her room, was cool. Still rather warm for this time of night but nothing as stifling as what she had been putting up with. She released a deep breath, feeling the knots in her shoulders loosen as she headed for the lake.
A dark shape floated in it, and when she got to the edge of the lake, she saw that it was Philip. He treaded water several meters out, watching her. Part of her said to turn around and go back to the cabin. She was still sticky with sweat, though, and the thought of returning to that room was pure hell, so she dropped the towel (glad that her dark bikini would show up well against her pale skin) and waded into the water. She wasn’t going to let him cow her.
Philip paddled over to her and asked, “Can’t sleep?” with a knowing smirk.
Her cheeks flushed, even as she shivered in the cool night water. Goosebumps rose up her arms, but it felt refreshing to be in the lake. For a moment, she considered ignoring him, but he’d only take that as a victory. She tipped her head back slightly, letting her hair soak in the water, and replied as coolly as she could, “Well, it looks like you couldn’t sleep, either. I wonder why that is.”
Philip chuckled.
Lizzie turned away from him, digging her feet into the sandy silt of the lake. It was just the right consistency. Not slimy, but not so sandy that it got everywhere either. She imagined it would be perfect for growing things if she dug it out and spread it out over the ground. Actually, this place would be the perfect place to live completely off the grid. What would she do to fill her time, though? Garden, fish… maybe start playing her flute again.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Philip agreed. “Not with all that noise you were making. All those moans…”
Apparently, she hadn’t been quiet enough after all. Lizzie stared at him in horror and humiliation. All she wanted to do was sink beneath the gentle waves, drown, and get buried by the sediments. Then, her body could rot away, and her bones could be replaced with minerals and in a few million years, the next sentient species could dig her up as fossils and put her on display in a museum. The plaque would read, ‘Here we have an example of the female human who died of utter humiliation’ because even that would be written in her bones.
“That was private,” she mumbled, face burning.
“Hence why I came out here. I’m surprised; you have a shifter for a cousin. Don’t you know how keen our ears are? Or are dragons’ senses not as fine-tuned as a wolf’s?”
She pressed her face into her hands, turning away from him and those gloating eyes. Tears burned and even as she waded back toward the shore, she felt a sob catch in her throat. She should have known it was only going to make the situation even worse! She heard him splashing after her and tried to go faster, but only managed to trip over her own feet.
The water rushed in over her head. Before she had time to get herself back up, though, a large hand had gripped her upper arm. Philip pulled her back to her feet, holding her steady even as she tried to free herself. Tears continued to stream down her face as she turned away, her feet nearly slipping out from under her in the soft silt.
Philip’s thick arms wrapped around her. In the next moment, he had hefted her out of the water and put her on the dock. He didn’t release her, though. Her legs were on either side of his chest as he kept his arms firmly around her hips. He looked up at her in the moonlight, silver streams of water running down his chest.
“Hey, no need to be so embarrassed. It’s perfectly natural,” he said, his tone soothing and not taunting like she expected.
Lizzie tried to glare at him, but her lip still trembled.
He launched himself out of the water, like a shark going after a seal. His body was hard and hot against hers as he wrapped one arm around her shoulder, bringing her down with his movement as his knee braced against the dock. He lowered her and himself down, pressing her flat against the rough-hewn planks. Lizzie’s breath caught in her throat as his lips pressed to hers, hungry, demanding. Full of fire.
Everything she had been fighting against came flooding back. All the excuses and anger she had been trying to hold slipped out of her hands like a fish. Well, it was more like she threw them away, too full of aching need to deny herself.
Oh, if only she could hurl away the reasons she had used for years so easily.
She pressed her hands to his hot, hard chest, shaking her head as he moved to her neck. “Stop.”
Philip did still, his lips still pressed to her neck. “Why? You want this. Don’t deny it. I can feel your need burning under your skin like it was my own.”
Everywhere his hands touched it was like fire. It was a burning need. But there was a lake right here! Plenty enough to put out even the largest fire, right? She didn’t let herself give an inch, her arms growing more rigid as she pressed harder into Philip’s chest.
“I do want to,” she admitted. “But just because I want it doesn’t mean I should. Just because my body wants it, doesn’t mean I’m ready.”
“Ready for what?”
Philip did pull back this time. He stared down at her, his face cast in shadow as his hard body pressed against hers. With a thrill and more heat rushing throughout her body, she realized he wasn’t wearing any clothes. He pressed against her belly, hardening already. Was it really her that had this sort of effect on him?
Her hands started to move up and down his chest. She knew he had asked a question but couldn’t think of how to answer.
“Not ready to give up your virginity, or not ready to give up the ideas that you’ve had about decency and the dreams you’ve built up for your first time?”
Which was it? Even she didn’t know for sure. But she felt raw and vulnerable, the only thing between them her bikini. It would be so easy to discard. To take each other in this natural setting. And what could be more natural than making love out in the middle of nature? Nothing to hold them back or pin them down, except for themselves.
She shook her head, the tears from before returning, but this time it was from frustration. “I don’t give in to my hormones. Sex isn’t so necessary. I can live without it.”
“We all can live without it,” Philip agreed as he eased himself back. “But there are a lot of things that we don’t need that make life a lot more pleasant.”
“I don’t give in to my hormones,” she stated again.
“And that’s a damn shame.”
“A shame?” she replied. A chill breeze blew across her wet skin, making her arms erupt into gooseflesh and her nipples to pebble. She wondered if they would soften with Philip’s hot mouth over them, or if that would make them harden even more.
She knew so little about her own body that, at that moment, she nearly laughed at herself.
&nb
sp; Philip lowered himself slightly once more so that his warm body was pressed all over hers. The strength in his muscles seemed to flow into her, and the desire against her body made heat sweep through her. It was a good thing the moonlit lake was so cool; otherwise, she might find herself burning away altogether. She had never hated her no-giving-in rule more than at this moment. Was it even worth keeping, if she resented it so much?
“A shame,” Philip repeated. “That you are denying yourself so much pleasure. And why? Why do you insist on waiting like this? Do you think that your first time will be better for having waited? Don’t you think that depends on the skill of your partner?”
One of his hands traced over her hip, then up the inside of her thigh, making her shiver. Her eyes started to flutter shut, but she forced them back open. “I’m waiting for someone I care about. So it’s not just blind lust. I know what happens to girls who let their hormones get away with them.”
“You are no girl. You’re all woman.” His hand continued to trace over her body lightly, now moving to circle under one breast. He lowered his head and she lifted hers, almost kissing him, but he drew back at the last moment. “So, you want someone you care about… I understand that. But what’s this about you knowing what happens to girls? Would your family think less of you?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Your parents?”
Lizzie shook her head again.
“Your cousin, would he fire you?”
“No!” She frowned at him. “Where are you going with this? I already said my family wouldn’t think less of me. It’s not them that I’m worried about.”
“Then what?”
She squirmed beneath him, partly in a half-hearted attempt to free herself, partly because she wanted to increase the friction between them. To her fascination, the hardness against her belly actually twitched; Philip’s breath hitched. Lizzie momentarily forgot his question. Forgot her own reluctance. Her hands pressed to his chest then moved down those sculpted muscles until he was in her hand. His eyes actually did close; he was harder than she thought he would be. It was almost like holding a bone in her hand; maybe that’s why they called it a boner.
“Lizzie Hendrix,” Philip moaned out, “if you’re going to tease me along and then say no again—”
She released him and pressed her hands flat to the dock once more. “Sorry.”
He opened his eyes and grinned down at her, but it faded soon enough. “What are you afraid of?”
With the heat pressing on her, with desire flooding her veins, she found herself unable to remain silent, and unable to lie. There was so much to be afraid of in this world, and there were plenty who would judge her and mock her for giving her virginity to someone who couldn’t care less about her. The truth of it, though, had nothing to do with what other people would think—only one person.
“Because if I don’t love him… if he doesn’t love me… then how can I trust him?” she blurted out. “How can I share what I want… what I need and not be thought less of for it? I know they’re not normal, my tastes. What I want to try. But if I had the right partner…”
“What is normal?” Philip’s voice was low and soothing. “Plain vanilla sex in the missionary position time after time after time? Why shouldn’t you crave what you crave, and to hell with anybody who says you should want differently. They don’t know you. You don’t need to make excuses. All you need is what you want…”
Lizzie bit her lip, hesitating. She had the feeling in the pit of her stomach that Philip would give her exactly what she wanted, without holding back and without judgment. But she shouldn’t want this! She shouldn’t want to be here, with him. She should want that deep, spiritual connection and the sweetness and tenderness she read about in all her romance novels.
“I didn’t think you were the type to hold yourself back,” Philip said, drawing back now. “I didn’t think you’d have been taken in by false decorum. I smelled the arousal on you when we were in the kitchen. When I bent you over the table.”
Her heart started to beat faster as she opened her mouth.
“You were right, then… I shouldn’t have done that.”
And she shouldn’t feel disappointed now, and yet the disappointment crashed onto her all the same.
“Not when Bethany could have walked in on us,” he added, and her hopes started to rise again. Her lips parted, but her voice was stolen when Philip’s gaze darted to her mouth and his tongue flicked over his own lips. “But she’s fast asleep now and there is nobody for miles and miles. We can do whatever we want. And I know what you want.”
His hand cupped her breast now, his fingers probing deep in her flesh, enough that it hurt slightly. Lizzie wasn’t about to tell him to stop, though, as he eased the bikini down, exposing her to him. She moaned breathlessly.
“You want someone to dominate you. To take you like an animal. You want all passion and desire and not to be denied. Isn’t that right?”
It was like a dam broke inside of her; her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she cried out a, “Yes!” as her mouth caught his. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, bucking her body against his like some wild thing. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about the boundaries she had set for herself, or what she might think of herself in the morning. All she wanted was him; his hot, hard body against her, inside her, filling her. Tearing away the layers she had built around herself, removing false civilization and returning them both to their basest forms, pure animal lust taking control of both of them.
Philip’s hands tightened on her. He thrust against her abdomen, a snarl building behind his lips. “If you don’t want this, tell me. Tell me now. Otherwise, you will not be a virgin by morning.”
“I want this.” The need was nearly driving her mad.
“It will hurt. I don’t have the patience for—”
“I don’t care. Take me.” Her fingers bit into his arms. “Take me now!”
It was all he needed, hearing her say those words. There was a tearing noise and the bikini top came off her body like it was nothing but tissue paper.
His hands were hot and huge as they roamed over her body. Perhaps there was somewhere in the back of her mind that screamed at her that this was wrong, but she was past caring. Low moans burst from her throat again and again as he explored her naked body. His fingers pinched one of her nipples while his head bent over her, sucking the other into his mouth. Lizzie shuddered with lust and desire and tingles swept through her entire body. Her back arched, wanting to increase the contact between them.
“Patience,” he chided as his tongue flicked over her hardened nipple, as though it hadn’t been him to have told her just moments ago that he didn’t have the patience to give her the time she needed to adjust to all this.
She laughed aloud, giddy with excitement all the same. This was the dream she barely would let herself indulge in when it was just herself. She hadn’t admitted it to anybody since her first boyfriend, who had gotten so freaked out by her frankness that he broke up with her right then and there. She hadn’t told anybody else, tried to bury it deep inside of her.
Now, as Philip’s teeth grazed against her throat, she embraced that desire and scratched her nails down his back. Philip grunted, in pain or surprise, and grabbed both her wrists in his. He pressed them into the rough dock beside her head and shook his head, a smirk crossing his face. She wrapped her legs around his hips, marveling at how strong and hard his body was.
“You’re going to do as I tell you,” Philip hissed in her ear, nipping at the lobe when she groaned. “Isn’t that right?”
Lizzie barely had the frame of mind to nod. She would have agreed to just about anything at that moment, with the heat blazing through her body and the need for him to continue. Her skin tingled wherever his body was pressed up against her, and even though the grips on her wrists were strong enough that he might just bruise her, she didn’t care. And she didn’t worry about whether this made her a deviant
, whether there was something wrong with her for what she wanted.
Keeping both her hands pinned in one of his own, Philip pulled back long enough to hook his fingers into her bikini bottom. He tore it away like he had the top and tossed it down the dock where it fell like some broken creature. For a brief moment, Lizzie was worried that he was going to say something about the fact she hadn’t shaved down there—ever. She kept it trimmed, but what if he liked it completely smooth?
Then his fingers parted her lips and pushed inside her, and she forgot to worry about it.
His fingers were long and wide, bigger by far than her own and the biggest thing that had ever been inside of her. She dripped with moisture, coating his fingers quickly, but the pressure of two of those big fingers inside of her at the same time was almost painful. She shifted away, biting down on her lip.
“You have such a beautiful body. Such beautiful breasts. Such soft skin. I was right when I though you could crush a man in your thighs. I can’t wait until they’re clamped over my hips as I thrust into you, deeper and deeper until you can feel me in your throat.”
Lizzie moaned as Philip eased his fingers deeper, curling them to stroke her insides. Her core tightened, clamping down on him, and she arched her back. Philip continued to stroke her on the inside while his thumb moved up to find her clit. He moved in lazy circles around it and sucked on her breast again. Everything was tightening again. Lizzie wasn’t sure if it was pleasant or not, even as shudders swept down her legs and her muscles clenched. Her heart raced and her breathing was shallow, something that Philip noticed.
He eased both fingers out of her, but kept his thumb circling, not touching her clit directly, but getting damn close. “Take a deep breath. You’re hyperventilating.”
Lizzie sucked in a deeper breath, forcing her lungs to expand. The trembling of her muscles relaxed a little as Philip’s kisses became gentler on her neck and shoulders before moving back to her mouth. He was smiling again, though she didn’t know why.
The Wolf’s Surprise Babies Page 5
