“Just not a father,” he said.
“No, not a father.” She met his gaze. “Am I being selfish?”
“Ideally, every child deserves two parents.”
“What about if one parent loves them beyond belief?”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Tory, you’d make a wonderful mother. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. But wouldn’t you feel that your child was missing something by not having a father? You just mentioned your own parents. Can you imagine not having one of them?”
“Actually, my parents weren’t around all that much growing up, but I hear what you’re saying. Maybe I wouldn’t be single forever, though. There could be a man who would want me and my child, and we’d make a family then. I just don’t want to wait anymore—and at some point, it’ll be too late.”
“You and Steve had problems conceiving, didn’t you?”
“Yes, and I’ve had several miscarriages. So there’s a possibility I couldn’t carry a child to term.” She got to her feet, pacing in front of the couch. “I want to take action, Andrew. To go for it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering, what if I’d had the courage to make a family of my own? Steve thought I was obsessed with having a baby, and he was partly right. Maybe I did drive him into Annie’s arms. Who’s to say I wouldn’t do that to the next guy? So it makes sense to do this on my own and then maybe find a man who wants to be a part of something real—not something we hope might happen one day, a day that might never come.”
Her passion for motherhood was unmistakable, and her decision to regain control over her life after her husband’s infidelity was understandable, but he didn’t know how to advise her. He could see a mountain of obstacles in her path and possibly a lot more pain.
“Did you ever want something so much you’d do anything to get it?” Tory asked.
His mind flashed back to the past. “I had a big dream, and I took for granted that I would get it. But when things got hard, I didn’t try harder—I gave up. I succumbed to self-pity.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“You don’t know the man I used to be.”
She sat back down on the couch. “Do you look back and say what if?”
“More times than I can count.”
“Is it too late for your dream?”
“Far too late, but I’ve made my peace with it. And I believe what I’m doing now is better. Sometimes God’s plan is different from your own.”
“I can’t imagine that God planned for me to marry a cheater,” she said harshly.
He didn’t try to talk her out of her anger. She would have to find her own way to come to terms with what had happened in her marriage.
“What do you think I should do?” she asked.
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I’d be happy to help you research your options. Then you can make an informed decision.”
She gave him a warm smile. “Thanks for listening. Just saying it all out loud helps. I didn’t want to talk to my parents or Nick until I heard myself say it to you. I thought you’d probably be less judgmental or less inclined to dramatize with some scene from some play you’d been in. My parents love to go into character when there is some family problem. I guess that’s their way of escaping reality and pretending the problem will end after a good last scene.”
“Your parents sound wild and crazy.”
“They’re all that. But I love ’em.”
“I’m happy you felt you could come to me, Tory.”
“Really? Because when I mentioned needing some sperm, I was afraid you might pass out,” she said lightly.
He grinned. “They didn’t teach us how to talk about sperm donation in the seminary.”
“How would you feel if a woman asked you to do that for her? Would you? And I’m not asking,” she added quickly. “It’s just hypothetical.”
Shaking his head, he said, “I couldn’t be a father and not know my kid. That wouldn’t work for me.”
She sighed. “I have a feeling most good guys would feel like you. So adoption seems like the best option, especially since my ability to carry a child is also in question.”
“I have connections with some agencies. Let me make some calls and see what I can find out about single mothers and adoption prospects.”
“I really appreciate that.” Getting to her feet, she said. “So, are you excited about officiating at Lauren and Shane’s wedding?”
“Yes. I’ve done a few weddings, but none where I knew the two people when they first met.”
“Are you going to be sitting with Charlotte at the reception?” she asked curiously.
“She’s in the wedding, so I think she has a lot of responsibilities.”
“But you two are getting together, right?”
“I don’t know. I let her go once. I’m not sure I’ll get her back.”
“Well, if you want her back, you’d better fight for her. Otherwise, you’ll have something else to think what if about.”
“I don’t know how hard to push Charlotte. She’s opened the door about this big,” he said, demonstrating a narrow space with his hands. “And if I mess up, that door is slamming shut.”
“You need to stick your foot in the door, so she can’t close it. Tell you what—you help me research adoption, and I’ll help you get Charlotte back.”
“How would you do that?” he asked curiously.
“By dating you. Women always like guys who are with other women.”
He was a little unsettled by the idea but also intrigued. “Charlotte wouldn’t just say, ‘Great, he’s found someone else’?”
“Since when you do have so little confidence? You’ve got dozens of women dancing around you after every Sunday service.”
“Charlotte knew me when,” he said simply.
“That can work both for and against you. What do you say?”
He thought about the many messages he’d left for Charlotte to return. “Why don’t we go to dinner and discuss it?”
She gave him a big smile. “Excellent plan.”
“You’re a very generous and giving person, Tory. Any child would be lucky to have you as a mother.”
Her mouth trembled, and her eyes teared up. “Thank you.”
“I mean it. Don’t give up, no matter what anyone says.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”
“Perfect, I have to be at the quilt shop by eight to help finish Lauren’s quilt tonight. Charlotte will be there; maybe you can drop me off.” She smiled mischievously.
“I shouldn’t be playing games,” he said hesitantly. But he was feeling a little desperate.
“We’ll only take it as far as you want to go. We’ll just give Charlotte something else to think about.”
ELEVEN
Joe couldn’t keep his mind on work, so he decided to have lunch at Dina’s Café. The hotbed of town gossip, Dina’s Café also offered up good food and a warm, comfortable place to sit for a while. It was after the lunch rush, and he was happy to see that his usual booth in the back corner was open.
Dina, the gregarious middle-aged woman who ran the café, appeared with a coffeepot and a warm smile. “You’re in luck, Chief. Today’s special is chicken enchiladas with rice and beans.”
“Ah, a taste of home. I’m in.”
She poured him a cup of coffee. “How’s it going today?”
“I’m keeping busy.”
“I wish I was. The holiday tourists have gone home, and everyone here is on a diet,” she grumbled.
“Give ’em two weeks, and they’ll all be back.”
She grinned. “That they will. Nobody gives up my pie forever.” She glanced over her shoulder and told the other waitress to bring him the special, then sat down in the booth across from him. “I’m glad you came in. Any luck finding whoever knocked out the mayor’s wife?”
“We’re still investigating.”
“We
ll, it sounds to me like you’re investigating the wrong person. Charlotte Adams certainly didn’t do it. She doesn’t have it in her.” Dina gave a quick glance around the room. “If you ask me, Theresa’s sister is the one you should be looking into.”
“Pamela?”
“Yes, that girl was trouble from the day she was born. She used to come here in high school and run out on her check—dine and ditch, they used to call it. By then, her parents had passed on, and she and Theresa were living with their grandmother, who didn’t know where they were half the time. Those girls just ran wild. They were always fighting with each other, too; they had a lot of screaming matches in here. One time, I thought Pamela was going to rip out her sister’s hair. She had a violent streak in her.”
“Pamela did rush back here after Theresa’s attack, so there must be some family loyalty.”
“Did she come back? Or was she already here?” Dina said with a quirk of her eyebrow.
“What do you mean?” He’d had a few thoughts about Pamela’s arrival himself, but he was curious about what Dina had to say.
“I think Pamela was jealous of Theresa. Let’s face it, her sister is a rich woman. She married a successful man, and she now owns one of the biggest houses in town, along with some fabulous jewelry. That couldn’t have made Pamela happy. Maybe they had a fight, and Pamela stole her sister’s jewelry.”
He’d considered a similar scenario but, like Dina, had no facts to back it up. As far as he knew, the mayor’s phone call was what had brought Pamela to town, and it seemed a little unlikely that she’d stick around if she’d committed the crime. Unless she was staying to find out what her sister remembered, which at the moment seemed to be next to nothing.
“Something to ponder,” Dina said as she slid out of the booth. A minute later, she returned with his lunch. “Enjoy.”
“Thanks.” The cheesy chicken enchiladas reminded him of home, of his father’s spicy tamales and his grandmother’s salsa. They also reminded him that he was due to call home. He’d been checking on his father’s progress regularly, but it had been a few days. He was just taking his last bite when his cell phone vibrated. The number gave him immediate indigestion. It was Rachel.
He debated answering for as long as it took the phone to stop vibrating. A moment later, his voice-mail gave a little ding. Did he want to know why she’d called? If it was something to do with his father, one of his sisters would have been on the phone. So her call had to be about the divorce or something along those lines, lines he didn’t care to travel. She’d been the one to file, but he was the one now who wanted everything finalized.
He drank his coffee, stared at his phone again, and finally punched the button to retrieve her voice-mail.
Rachel’s voice brought with it a mix of emotions.
“Hi, Joe. I know it’s almost officially over between us, and you probably don’t have any second thoughts, but if you do, call me. I can’t stop wondering if we moved too fast, if we should have tried harder, if things would have been different if you’d been willing to move back home. Your answer is probably no, but I had to ask one more time. Because we meant a lot to each other once. Anyway, that’s it. ’Bye.”
“Joe?”
He blinked in surprise as Isabella slid onto the bench across from him. His sister’s eyes grew worried as she stared back at him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “I saw you on the phone. Nothing’s happened to Dad, has it?”
“No. Rachel left me a message.”
“Oh, she called you, too.”
“You spoke to her?” he asked.
“She wanted me to persuade you to talk to her.”
“We’re done, Izzy. I don’t know how I can say it any more clearly. And I find it ridiculous that she’s now acting like she never wanted a divorce. She’s the one who followed Mark Devlin back to Hollywood after his accident here. I saw her the night he got hurt. She was destroyed. She wouldn’t leave his bedside. That’s why she filed for the divorce. She was in love with him.”
“I don’t think things worked out for them.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“She’s used to you forgiving her,” Isabella said quietly.
He thought about that for a moment. “I’m not angry with her,” he said, knowing it was true. “To be completely honest, I’m relieved it’s over. I was fighting to hang on to something that wasn’t there anymore, that hadn’t been there for a long time. It was exhausting. Now I’ve let go, and I feel good.” He picked up his phone and deleted the voice-mail.
Isabella smiled. “I’m glad. I loved Rachel like a sister, but I wasn’t oblivious to how needy she could be or how unhappy the two of you were the last few years. Now I’m going to grab my salad and go.”
“Where are you off to?”
“The theater. Tory’s mother asked me to help them go through the costumes for their spring production.”
“You’re getting as sucked into this town as I am.”
She smiled. “I didn’t just fall in love with the town, I fell in love with Nick.”
“It doesn’t bother you that he was married before?” he asked curiously.
“No. It was a long time ago.”
“That would make a difference,” he mused. “He’s had plenty of time to get his head straight.”
She gave him a thoughtful look. “Are we talking about Nick or about you?”
He tipped his head. “I was wondering how long it would take someone to feel like they weren’t the rebound person.”
“I don’t think it’s about time,” she said, her expression turning more serious. “It’s about the quality of the new relationship, the depth of the feelings, the trust, the honesty. Sometimes that happens fast. Sometimes it takes a while. I knew Nick was the man for me from the first minute I met him. But he fought it a little longer.”
“Are you going to marry Nick?”
“Well, he hasn’t asked, but if he did . . . maybe.”
“Taking on a teenage stepchild wouldn’t be easy.”
“Megan looks like a rebel on the outside, but on the inside, she’s a marshmallow. Just a little girl wanting to be loved, and I’ve got plenty of that to give.”
“You deserve to be happy, Isabella. I’m glad you found Nick and Megan.”
“Me, too. And you deserve to be happy as well.” She slid out of the booth just as Jason approached. “Hi, Jason. You can have my seat.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to interrupt,” Jason said.
“I was on my way out. See you both later.”
“What’s up?” Joe asked Jason as he sat down.
Jason didn’t answer right away, as Dina came by to pour coffee.
“I have your favorite peach pie,” she told him.
He groaned. “You’re killing me, Dina. Fine, bring me a slice.”
“Warmed up with ice cream on the top?”
“Do you have to ask?”
She laughed. “What about you, Chief?”
“No, thanks. I’m stuffed.”
She cleared his empty plate. “I knew you’d like that. I’ll be back in a minute with that pie.”
After Dina left, Jason said, “I spoke to the fitness trainer, Larry Craig. He got very nervous when I asked him about his training sessions with Theresa and admitted that he’d been seeing her two days a week for the past couple of months, but he assured me his relationship with her was completely professional.”
“What about Larry’s girlfriend?”
“Still trying to get in contact with her. She wasn’t home and called in sick to work.” He paused as Dina set down his pie. “Thanks, this looks good.”
“Enjoy,” Dina said, and left.
Joe didn’t like the fact that the trainer’s girlfriend seemed to be unreachable. People in Angel’s Bay weren’t usually that difficult to locate. “Make it a priority to locate the girlfriend before the end of the day.”
“Will do,” Jason replied.
“An
ything else?”
Jason shook his head as he dug into his pie. “Nothing,” he said between bites. “On a lighter note, you’re coming to Shane’s bachelor party on Saturday night, right? We’ve got the back room at Murray’s reserved for a little pool, a lot of beer, maybe even a stripper,” he added with a grin.
“A stripper here in Angel’s Bay?” Joe asked in amazement.
“I know a couple of girls who are willing to travel for the right amount of cash.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Does Kara know that you and Colin are bringing in strippers?”
Jason shrugged. “It’s a bachelor party. What happens in the back room of Murray’s stays in the back room.”
Joe smiled to himself. Somehow he didn’t think that would be the case.
Charlotte could see the roof of the police station from her office window. If she were a floor up, she could probably see into Joe’s office. She could imagine him there now, working at his desk that always seemed to be stacked high with files, a cup of coffee by his elbow, the computer next to him, his brow furrowing with concentration or irritation because they weren’t finding the answers they needed. He cared a lot about his job and about the people in the community. He also cared about her.
Her heart leaped at the memory of last night, stripping his clothes off his body with a reckless impatience that went way beyond her usual romantic or sexual encounters. She would have made love to him in the bell tower if her mother hadn’t come looking for her. Another few minutes, she probably wouldn’t have cared who was nearby, because when she was with Joe, she was with him all the way. His kiss drove all rational thinking out of her head. But Joe could hurt her badly, because the feelings swirling inside her felt dangerously like love.
Her office intercom buzzed, reminding her that she had another patient to see. Staring out the window at the roof of a man’s office building was not an efficient use of her time. Smiling at her foolishness, she turned away from the window and got back to work.
After spending the next ten minutes on a routine physical, she left her patient to get dressed and headed to the front desk to fill out a prescription slip and check the rest of her schedule. While she was doing so, her gaze caught on a patient being led down the hall into an examining room.
Garden of Secrets Page 14
