“Maybe I should go to the City States one of these days.”
“...Take me with you when you do, Mister Fox.”
“Not me though! Never!”
The cacophonous carriage carried on until the Demon Lord and his party left the area surrounding Yahooo, passed the fortress on the nation’s border, and entered the Northern Nations. Passing the border during this time of year would not have been an easy feat if it wasn’t for the Madame’s letter, which the Demon Lord presented at the checkpoint. An embodiment of the power of the connections he had earned.
A Threesome Journey
——The suburbs of Suneo, in the Northern Nations.
The carriage went smoothly down the highway and was approaching a city. While the Northern Nations had been long at war, these parts were evidently peaceful. Looking around at the expansive vineyards on either side of the road, Mikan cheered up.
“It’s been a while since we were last in Suneo! So excited for the wine!”
“Is that... what this country is called...?”
“...It’s a small but wealthy place.”
The Demon Lord groaned at its bizarrely pop-culture name, but the two girls seemed to be treating it as an ordinary name for a country. A small creek flowed by the vineyards, painting a stark contrast against the wasteland of eastern Holylight.
(Vineyards, huh...?)
While the Demon Lord wasn’t picky when it came to drinking, he had never seen a vineyard in real life. He found himself enjoying the view somewhat.
“The food is great here, too... Now that I mention it, I’m getting hungry.”
“...You’re just thirsty, Mikan. In heat, all year.”
“You’re the one who’s always in heat!”
As he listened to their conversation, the Demon Lord’s interest in the food in this nation was piqued. He hadn’t really had a chance to sit and enjoy a proper meal since coming to this world.
“Food, huh? What do you recommend around here?”
“When you’re in Suneo, you have to have oysters!”
“Oysters...? Are they safe?”
The Demon Lord was secretly surprised. He had been avoiding the dish, from his preconception that it should not be eaten raw.
“Don’t you get it? That’s why we have Mr. Just Use Me.”
“That ridiculous doll...”
The Demon Lord nearly clasped his head, recalling the scene from a moment ago. He couldn’t very well have that doll assess each and every food or drink they would come across.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind letting you use it too... For five bronze coins a pop.”
“Thanks for your generosity, but I don’t need it.”
This man (and every player in the game) had a skill called Taste Test. This was a must-have tool for any player, since items in the arena could be poisoned. However, because it cost 20 Stamina to use, it wasn’t something that players could activate left and right. Still, since poisoned items would damage the user the same amount a non-poisoned item of the same variety would have healed them, not knowing whether or not something was poisoned was a big risk to take. If an item would normally heal the player’s HP by 100, they would take 100 damage from the poisoned version of the same item. Many players had died from poison by skimping on Stamina.
(Heh, a lot of things are coming back to me...)
The Demon Lord alone smiled, reminiscing on the world he had created. What a mean little game, that was. Healing items are used when players have low HP to begin with. Imagine their despair when their last hope for survival spelled their very doom. For many of them, it meant instant death... Their screens blacked out, and notified them of their demise.
—Game Over—
The item you used was poisoned by [insert player name]. Here’s a message from your marvelous killer:
“LOL, poisoned to death!? So freaking lame, LMAO. Go back to kindergarten, noob. LMFAO.”
“WASTED.”
“Say goodbye to the cruel world.”
“The poison content in this thing is over 9000!”
“Surprise, motherfucker.”
“Now you got Ligma.”
“That’s finger-lickin’ good!”
“The old you can’t come to the phone right now... Why? ’Cus you dead!”
“F”
Recalling the various messages left behind by the players, the Demon Lord’s shoulders quivered. Some taunted their victims while others tried to make them laugh. In some cases, the repeated poisoning had festered a grudge between sets of players. The arena had become a melting pot in that way.
“Hmph! Don’t come crying to me later,” Mikan said, bringing the Demon Lord out of his memories. He decided to say something non-controversial.
“Well, I’ll just cook it, then.”
“You really don’t have a clue, do you? Oysters are best when they’re raw!”
“...Mikan likes it raw. Raw dog.”
“Where’d the dog come from!?”
As the Demon Lord brushed off their bickering, the carriage finally came to a halt. Outside the window, he could see a nice and cozy inn. They had arrived in a town.
“Now let’s eat! Let’s eat ’til we drop!”
“Lunch with Mister Fox. The oysters will keep his... spirits up.”
“You two better behave at the inn!”
“...I can’t wait to taste Mister Fox’s prairie oysters.”
“I can’t stand it anymore! Why oh why do I have this pervert for a partner!?”
The trio climbed out of the carriage onto the street. Yukikaze and Mikan had always attracted attention due to their contrast in color, and now they had the Demon Lord thrown into the mix. Everyone walking down the street stopped and stared, whispering their theories on who that party could possibly be.
“...This is La France. We stay here often.”
“La France in Suneo, huh...? I think I’m getting a headache.”
Mikan threw open the door and marched right inside. Perhaps from hunger, she stomped in like a raging bull. Seeing Mikan and Yukikaze, the owner called out, cheerfully.
“Hey, if it isn’t Mikan! Didn’t expect to see you during war season... Spending the night?”
“Sorry, chief. Just for a break and meal this time. Our usual, please.”
“Coming right up.”
Mikan greeted and joked around with the adventurer-looking patrons of the inn and seemed to be having a good time.
“Hey now, Mikan. What are you doing here this time of the year? Let me guess. One too many games and now you’re penniless.”
“You make me sound like a bum. Don’t forget about the two silver coins you owe me.”
“Crap, you still remembered...!”
“Hey, Mikan. Come drink over here.”
“If you’re buying, I’ll think about it.”
“No way, that’ll blow my entire reward!”
Seeing their familiarity, the Demon Lord shrugged his shoulders. He guessed that a woman like Mikan was very popular among the brutes of the world. She talked like one of the guys, tossed back jokes, and even had a healthy sensuality about her.
When Yukikaze entered after her, the adventurers all began to whistle.
“Hey, Yukikaze! I’ve been dying to see you!”
“I’ll buy! Why don’t you come sit with us?”
“Y-Yukikaze-chan... I love you...”
She seemed to be extremely popular in her own right, but her reaction was very cold, in contrast to Mikan’s. It seemed that her cool attitude and expression gave her her popularity.
“Hm. An inn-slash-restaurant, by the look of it...”
Seeing the Demon Lord enter after the pair, the crowded room instantly fell silent. They stared at his bizarre outfit, and jet black hair that was extremely rare on this continent. Many were overwhelmed just by his intimidating gaze as he inspected the place.
(Stonework walls and pillar. Looks like they got a real kitchen, too.)
The Demon Lord was simply a
ccessing the foreign construction, but the crowd was enveloped with so much tension that you could probably hear a pin drop in the room.
“...What’s with the scary face, Mister Fox? Come sit.”
“I wasn’t making a face.”
He accepted Yukikaze’s offer and sat at a table. The owner had been frozen by fear upon seeing the Demon Lord, but he seemed to regain some courage seeing how Yukikaze spoke to him. He approached the table timidly.
“Y-Yukikaze... You’re traveling with this gentleman this time?”
“...Yes. Mister Fox is my partner. On the streets and in the sheets.”
“I’m not your partner. Anywhere.”
“...Bring a bucket of hot water to the room when we’re done.”
“Y-You got it... A-And you, sir...?”
“Bucket, huh...? How much is it?”
“T-Three bronze coins for cold water, and five for hot...”
“Hm. I’ll take a hot one.”
That was most likely used to clean up in the room. On this continent, baths were luxuries reserved for nobles and wealthy merchants. Most people cleaned with just a cloth and a little bit of water.
“While we’re here, I wouldn’t have minded a hot towel service.”
“...I can give you a hot service.”
“Not what I meant...”
The Demon Lord explained the Japanese culture of restaurants providing hot, steamed towels before meals for the patrons to wipe their hands with. It didn’t seem to register to Yukikaze why a restaurant would provide such a thing complimentarily.
“I think there’s a market for it. You get dusty going anywhere in this world.”
Because most of the roads aren’t paved, the Demon Lord assumed. While it wouldn’t have been the case if the roads were paved, carriages and people going down dirt roads would, naturally, raise some dust.
“...I don’t think that’s feasible, Mister Fox. The inn would lose money on it.”
“Let me ask you something. Those buckets of water. Do they sell well?”
“...Decently. The guild won’t give you jobs if you’re not presentable.”
“Interesting...”
Hearing this, the Demon Lord sensed some mechanism behind the scenes. He guessed that the inns and the guild had a deal. If adventurers couldn’t get jobs without a certain level of cleanliness about them, they were forced to buy water. Even if the guild was promised only 10% of each sale in return, they would have jumped on the deal. It didn’t hurt the guild to have its rough-and-tough members clean and presentable, either. In any world, it seemed that commoners were taken advantage of everywhere they went, a little bit at a time.
(Back in Japan, for example, everything was taxed...)
Sales tax, registration and license fees, local taxes, income tax, alcohol and tobacco tax... there were countless examples. Even the government-run lotteries were nicknamed “the poor-man’s tax.”
(But once laws are set, and it becomes a rule of society, it becomes acceptable...)
Not that he did this often, but the Demon Lord began to contemplate governmental tax systems. He personally would have abolished sales tax altogether to encourage spending, since less spending directly led to a worse economy.
“...Are you all right, Mister Fox? Do you want a hot service after all?”
“Not the one you’re thinking of.”
As the Demon Lord sat exasperated by Yukikaze, Mikan came back to the table, carrying a large tray. There were numerous oysters lined up on the tray, and the owner brought over some ale.
“Now let’s dig in! We’re splitting the check, by the way!”
“...Oysters. Not the prairie kind, though.”
Mikan held Mr. Just Use Me up to one of the oysters as she chugged a glass of ale. The Demon Lord could only shrug at her gallant drinking.
“This is the stuff! Ahh, I feel alive!”
“What a dad you are.”
“How dare you! I’m a young maiden of seventeen!”
Before the Demon Lord could comment back, Mikan poured vinegar onto one of the oysters and slurped it down.
“Mmmm! It heals all the stress I get from you two!”
After using Mr. Just Use Me herself, Yukikaze squeezed a lemon onto an oyster and sucked it down. Seeing her do this, the adventurers in the room erupted in cheer.
“I want Yukikaze-chan to suck on me...!”
“M’Lady may blush if she heard you.”
“Now now, gentlemen. Let’s keep it in our pants.”
Rolling his eyes at the crowd’s reaction, the Demon Lord used his Taste Test command for the first time in a while. The oyster in his hand glowed white, indicating that it was safe to consume. If it wasn’t, it would have glowed red. Suspicious of the glow, Mikan barked at him:
“W-What did you... just do?”
“The same thing that doll did. I checked for any poison.”
“You’re not a cleric. You’re the avatar of evil, if anything.”
“...Mikan, you’re the avatar of...Hrm.”
“Why don’t you have a drink, Yukikaze!?”
Mikan poured ale down Yukikaze’s throat to physically shut her up.
“...You drank from this glass after taking it raw... Are you trying to knock me up?”
“Will you never stop!?”
(They never stop...)
Ignoring the pair, the Demon Lord took an oyster. He could feel a longing in his throat satisfied at the first taste of seafood in a long time.
“Hm. Not bad.”
“...You like it raw too, Mister Fox? Erotic violence?”
“I have no idea what you’re saying anymore...”
The next plates the owner brought were boiled clams and green pea soup.
“...I always eat these to rejuvenate from a long trip.”
“Hm. It’s been a while since I’ve had one of these,” the Demon Lord said, recalling Fishing, one of the skills in the game. It was something he had prepared for players who weren’t good at combat, but it had proven surprisingly popular, to the point where there were special arenas created only to host fishing tournaments.
(Seafood created by the Empire should taste really...Hm?)
He turned in the direction of the murmuring crowd to see twenty or so well-built men entering the store. The smell of their sweat and musk filled the restaurant.
“Yukikaze. Who are they?”
“...Miners who dig up Spell Stones. They’re sweaty.”
“Ah, no wonder they have the muscles.”
“...They smell bad.”
Yukikaze slyly buried her face into the Demon Lord’s suit, saying “I need to refresh my nose with your scent, Mister Fox.” The Demon Lord, on the other hand, was more interested in the miners’ loud conversation.
“That coward king... He doesn’t give a damn about us!”
“What do you mean, Mister Goda?”
“That coward... told us to protect the mining mountains ourselves!”
“Ourselves...? We’re facing down a foreign army!”
“He doesn’t want to stick his nose into conflict... All he cares about is counting money, and especially doesn’t care about men like us who get our hands dirty.”
“If they’re not here to protect us when we need them, what are we paying our taxes for...?”
The Demon Lord listened, interested, as he sipped on his ale. It seemed like the foreign military had begun to invade even the mines.
“All that coward talks about is condolences and discourse, he doesn’t get the picture!”
“M-Mister Goda... Keep your voice down a little.”
“How do you expect me to do that, Honekawa! We’re going to starve at this rate!”
Hearing the two distinctive names, the Demon Lord nearly spat out his ale. He didn’t know if he should have been amused or scared.
“Y-You two... I’m going up to the room. Let me know when we’re leaving.”
As if to avoid the whole situation, the Demon Lord left his
seat in a hurry. His journey up north seemed to be filled with turmoil already.
Yukikaze
Race: Human — Age: 16
* * *
Weapon Snowy Valentine
A staff that boosts the effects of Ice magic. Embedded with a Snow Crystal, called ‘the ice that never melts.’ While dwarves are known to only seldom craft items for humans, a particularly skilled dwarf crafted this weapon for Yukikaze after taking a liking to her. A top-tier weapon without question.
Item Santa in Black — Black Wind
Crafted by a talented dwarf from an outfit called Santa in Black. Worn by a medium-rank devil. It boosts the wearer’s overall Magic Defense. Another top-tier piece of equipment.
* * *
Level: 13 — HP: ? — Stamina: ? — Attack: ? — Defense: ? — Dexterity: ? — Magic: 23 (+15) — Magic Defense: 15 (+15)
* * *
A B-rank adventurer with four stars. One of the best Spellcasters in the world, whose talents bloomed early. She wields class-4 spells, and is on her way to mastering class-5. If she were born a girl, she might have been a candidate to become a Holy Maiden. She likes the Demon Lord.
Side Story: An Outcast from the West, Part 2
With outcasts in tow, the parade from the Tzardom of Light continued down the highway. Despite their incident in the New Kingdom of Xenobia, they had some pep in their step. After leaving Xenobia, they went around the land of Myrk, which was controlled by fearless nomads, and passed through another small nation before regaining their strength in the Republic of Edogawa. Their conduct was unbecoming of followers of the Light, as they had caused a ruckus everywhere they went, from high-end bars to brothels, and ceremoniously whipped their prisoners to demonstrate the ruthlessness of the Tzardom.
Demon Lord, Retry! Volume 3 Page 2
