by Shales, Mia
“Gabriella, wait,” said Kate quickly. There was something appealing about the young woman. While her behavior was inexcusable, violent and uncontrolled, Kate was sure a far deeper frustration than Matthew was aware of caused Gabriella to behave with such frenzy. Gabriella looked at Kate and said something in Spanish. Kate did not understand the words but was aware of the bitterness in her tone. The fury and aggressiveness had disappeared, only the pain was left.
“Please, Gabriella, speak to me,” Kate said. She was sure Gabriella was softening. She opened her mouth, but at that moment one of the servants entered the hall and Gabriella turned her back on Kate and ran swiftly up the flight of stairs.
Kate shut herself up in the study and for a long time was busy with her thoughts. She leaned her head on her arms and closed her eyes. She must have slept because when she lifted her head stars lit the sky.
Chapter Twelve
Gabriella sat by the dowager. She looked pale and wan and Kate noticed she refrained from looking at Matthew or her. No wonder, she thought. It was surprising that she showed up for dinner. Matthew wore a dark shirt that concealed the gash. After ten minutes of idle conversation they filed into the small dining room. The dowager, who apparently knew nothing of the day's events, took over the conversation.
“How did you enjoy your ride today in Matthew's company?” she addressed her relation. “The Camedon family has one of the finest stables in all England,” she added a bit smugly.
Gabriella’s chin wobbled uncontrollably.
“Why are you so silent, child? You have nothing to be ashamed of. I know you are a superb equestrienne.”
She leaned back, a nostalgic smile on her lips. “When your grandfather was alive,” she cast a brief look at her grandson, “we would ride together every morning. I was the best rider, bar none, in all of Northamptonshire and Norfolk.”
“I don't doubt you were the best. You are the best in whatever you do,” Matthew smiled indulgently.
At that moment Gabriella burst into tears. She shoved her chair back and ran out of the room.
“What can possibly be the matter with her?” the dowager addressed the others in consternation. “She never behaves this way. I'll go talk to her.”
“I suggest you leave Gabriella alone. It won't hurt her to spend a few hours by herself,” Matthew's voice checked his grandmother. “She's homesick and misses her family and friends. She's very young and has never been particularly stable. She’ll return to Spain and I'm sure that once there she'll blossom.”
“That is the most absurd explanation for a girl like Gabriella,” retorted the dowager. “Matthew, why don't you go and talk to her,” she added, seizing the opportunity to bring the two together.
“Let me,” Kate said quickly, her words cutting into the old woman's suggestion.
“But you barely know her,” Lady Theresa responded in undisguised astonishment.
“Yes, but I believe she'll be more open with me than with Matthew. With all due respect to Matthew, of course,” she added, blushing slightly.
The dowager, to Kate's surprise and relief, did not belittle her with a wave of the hand as Kate had been sure she would, but stared penetratingly for a few seconds before looking questioningly at her grandson.
“We shall both be eternally grateful if you succeed in calming our tempestuous cousin.”
Kate rose and Matthew could not resist staring at her shapely legs.
“Matthew!” His grandmother's reproaching voice cut like a sharp blade.
Kate hurried out of the room and made her way up to Gabriella’s suite, knocking lightly. Not a sound could be heard within. Hesitatingly, she opened the door and entered the room.
“Go away,” Gabriella’s voice was muffled. She lay sprawled on the bed, her face buried in a pillow. “I don't want to see anyone.”
Kate sat down on the bed by her side. As if of its own volition, her hand rose to stroke the black hair of the young woman. Gabriella froze. The soothing hand on her head was a feminine one and she could not, in her wildest dreams, imagine Lady Theresa Camedon demonstrating such gentle affection.
“I know how much it hurts. You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings.”
“Leave me alone. It's because of you I'm so miserable.”
“I don't think so. I think I'm the only one who can understand you."
“I want to die.”
“I'm sure there is something in this world worth living for.”
Gabriella stirred, lifting a tear-stained face to Kate. “My mother and Aunt Theresa told me he wanted to marry me. That he loved me and that I would be the happiest woman in the world with him.” Her lips trembled again. “But he rejected me. It's all so humiliating. I didn't know it could hurt so much.”
“I know, sweetheart. But perhaps your mother and aunt never asked Matthew what he wanted.” She hesitated. “And maybe they didn't ask you what you wanted.”
“I don't want to get married at all. I want to go to America to study acting.”
Kate was surprised. “You want to be an actress?”
“Yes, I'm a superb actress. I'm very talented. And it's not only me that thinks so,” she added hurriedly as though expecting Kate to interrupt, “it's what Senora Valeria told me.”
“Senora Valeria?”
“You swear you won't tell anyone what I'm about to say?”
“I swear,” declared Kate without the slightest hesitation.
“A year ago I asked my parents' permission to take a cooking class. They agreed and ever since then I go twice a week to learn the secrets of the French kitchen. Only the cooking class is a drama class given in the best-known theatre in Seville.”
“I see.”
“You don't think it's awful?”
“Not at all.”
“You have no idea what it means to grow up in a family like mine. My father, mother, brother, and all my aunts and uncles are so conservative, caught up in all the strict rules of the aristocracy. To choose acting as a way of life is heresy, an insult to family pride. My parents will never consent. I envy Rebecca. Matthew is so different. He's generous, listens to what she wants and always encourages her to do what she pleases. If she wanted to be an actress I'm sure Matthew wouldn't stand in her way.”
“Perhaps if you take him into your confidence and tell him what you told me, he would agree to help persuade your parents to give you a chance to prove yourself. I'm sure his opinion will carry alot of weight with them.”
“You are right. They worship the ground he walks on. They will do everything they can to please him.”
Her face lit up like the sun after a storm but her eyes clouded again, dimming the new hope. “How can I turn to Matthew now? Oh Kate, what have I done?” Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears. “He will never forgive me. I have brought shame on myself. And I talk and talk and do not even apologize to you.”
"It's okay. Really. I wasn't hurt and your apology is accepted."
Kate made her way to Matthew's quarters. The bedroom was empty. It was eleven. She had been with Gabriella over two hours. She deliberated whether to join Matthew and the dowager in the drawing room but rejected the idea. She was exhausted from the day's events and the idea of undergoing a nocturnal cross-examination by the dowager did not attract her. She wore a nightgown and slid into bed.
She awoke to find Matthew was not by her side. She looked at the clock by the bed. It was two in the morning. She put on her robe. The heavy door opened silently and Kate made her way in the shadowy darkness of the galleries and corridors to the ground floor. A faint light came from the large living room. She walked quietly to the entrance. Music enveloped her. He sat at the piano, his jacket on the bench, his shirtsleeves folded above the elbows, completely immersed in the music. He played Mozart with the passion of an artist and Kate felt her heart overflow. He looked so romantic and vulnerable. A half-empty long-stemmed glass of red wine stood on the piano. His fingers moved sensitively over the keys and his head was bent sligh
tly forward. The shirt, drawn tightly across his shoulders and tucked into his pants, emphasized his lithe body. He was in another world and Kate debated whether to stay or leave on tiptoe. At that moment he felt her presence, stopped playing, and turned to face the intruder. She approached and embraced him. He encircled her waist, sitting her down on his knees and burying his face in her hair.
“Darling,” he murmured.
Kate felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She could feel Gabriella’s pain when her hopes of winning Matthew's love were dashed. How could she ever let him go?
“Were you looking for me?”
“Yes, I woke up and when I didn't find you at my side I couldn't fall asleep again.”
“I'm glad you came.”
Kate hugged him. Hard, as though her life depended on it.
Long minutes later he lifted her off his lap and seated her in a chair. He stood by the piano, one arm leaning on the imposing instrument and sipped some wine. He looked at the dark liquid, turning the glass in his hand as he said, “it was only today that I realized how much pain she felt when she saw us together. I had no idea. Despite her behavior, I pity her. It was cruel and insensitive on my part to agree that my grandmother could bring her to Bellewoodplain. I didn't think of the suffering it would cause. I should have known my grandmother and her mother would stuff her head with the absurd notion that I intended to marry her.”
“What I understand is that she had more than one reason to believe she would be your wife,” Kate replied dryly. “Catherine Bayhem told me your engagement had been announced in all the papers.”
Matthew threw a quick look at her. “I'm not responsible for those news items. It was a manipulation. I've already told my grandmother in no uncertain terms what I think of her hasty action. I made it clear she was making a bitter mistake if she thought that by spreading a rumor about our engagement she could force me to wed Gabriella. She still doesn't understand that we are not living in the nineteenth century.”
“I believe you.”
“When we were in the garden earlier today Gabriella admitted to loving me since she was a child. She came to Bellewoodplain confident we were to be married. I explained there was no prospect at all of a wedding as I didn't love her. I made it plain that I was very fond of her and enjoyed her company but I could never love her as she deserved." He looked at Kate pleadingly, willing her not to judge him too harshly.
“When she kissed me I was truly surprised. When I tried to push her away it was too late. You stood there with a wounded look in your eyes and with every reason to think the worst of me.”
He placed the glass on the piano. “It’s quite absurd that while her behavior was inexcusable, deep inside I can’t stay angry with her. She seems so unhappy.”
“Perhaps you can help her.”
“I can't imagine how.”
“Rest assured you will find the way.”
“You sound very certain of yourself,” the corners of his sensual mouth lifted, “and very secretive.”
“I had an interesting, and in many ways a most surprising, conversation with Gabriella tonight. I can't tell you what we talked about but she does need your support and help at least as much as you want to give it.”
“But I have to find out by myself,” Matthew, amused, finished the sentence for her. “I think,” he looked at the deep decollete of the thin gown revealed under the robe, “we've said enough for tonight.”
She smiled at him. He took her in his arms. When his lips moved to touch her mouth, she saw and heard nothing. She could only feel his body on hers and the beating of his heart against hers. They walked entwined up to the bedroom where Matthew undressed her slowly, his eyes filling with desire as he took in her warm nakedness. He was neither gentle nor tender but demanding, conquering, and rough. Wild, strong and untamed, his supple body caused her to move in rhythms that overwhelmed her senses, transporting her to heights she had never known. The tom-tom of her heart pounded to an ever quicker beat, heralding a primeval, eternal, unmeasurable passion. Her body opened for him like a field of flowers in the sun as his soul flowed toward the warm, surrendering darkness of her femininity.
Emma called the next morning to announce the wedding date which was set for the end of October. Kate asked about her meeting with Lady Bayhem.
“We got along splendidly,” averred Emma, “she's very nice and John means everything to her. Her only hope is for John to be happy. She said so over and over again. And how are things at Bellewoodplain? Are the dowager and her relative still there?”
“Yes. I don't think the dowager is overwhelmed with joy at my presence but she's polite and for the moment keeps her opinions about me to herself.”
Emma sounded troubled. “Has Matthew said anything?”
“No, he's the perfect host, to me as well as to his grandmother and cousin.”
“I don't want to pry into your affairs, but if you don't feel at ease there and want company you know you can always come to us at Wiltshire or London. John is very fond of you and would be glad to have you come for as long as you like.”
“I'll think about it Emma.” Kate surprised herself with her spontaneous response. She had no idea why she answered Emma in that way. The last thing she wanted was for Emma to worry about Kate’s state of mind. Whatever made her even consider leaving Bellewoodplain? Leaving Matthew? She was still bothered when she went to the study and faced the computer. With great effort she chased out the thoughts that whirled in her head and began to work. She had idled away enough time in the past few days. At this rate her book would never be published.
It was late afternoon when Gabriella knocked on the door of the study. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but it won't take more than a few moments.”
“Come in.”
Gabriella sat opposite Kate. “I want to thank you. I had a long conversation with Matthew today. I begged his forgiveness and although he was stern at the beginning, in the end he softened and listened to all I had to say. It does seem to me that all those compliments I heaped on you improved my image in his eyes.”
Kate smiled lightly but made no comment, encouraging Gabriella to continue.
“He was interested in everything I had to say about my ambition to study drama and be an actress. And guess what? He didn't dismiss me or convince me to forget the idea as I feared he would. He said he’ll inquire about the best drama school for me and he'll speak to my parents and do all in his power to convince them to give me a chance to prove myself.”
“That's wonderful. I knew he could be depended on. He likes you very much and has great faith in you.”
“That's what is so surprising.” Gabriella looked as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Now you can relax. We can go riding together.”
Gabriella cleared her throat, her eyes turning serious. “I am leaving today, Kate. I've decided to go back to Spain as soon as possible and Matthew has already made the necessary arrangements so I can catch a morning flight out of London tomorrow.”
“But why? What's the rush?”
Gabriella looked flustered and stared at the rug. “I won't lie. I still have feelings for him. I’m sure I'll get over him but I need time.” She smiled sadly. “Believe me, I'd much rather not feel this way.” She leaned forward, extending her hand to Kate for a quick squeeze. “Don't look so sad. I shall keep in touch and email often. I promise you I'll work hard and justify your faith in me. One day you will be proud of me.”
“I'm proud of you already.”
“I must pack. Matthew plans to leave soon and I don't want to hold him back.”
“Matthew is going to London with you?”
“Yes, he's going for a few days. Didn't you know? I was sure he told you.” She scrutinized Kate's face before adding cautiously, “It's clear you are very important to him, Kate, but don't let your heart break on his account. Take what he can give you and enjoy the moment.”
“Don't worry about me. I s
hall be just fine.” Uttered with great vehemence, Kate was far from being convinced by her own words. But this was not the time to break down.
Gabriella rose, followed by Kate. They hugged in parting, promising to stay in touch.
A few seconds later Matthew came into the study. “I understand you spoke to Gabriella and she told you that I'm taking her to London.”
“Yes.”
“We are leaving in an hour. I'll be back in three days. I've some urgent business to attend to.” The dry tone of his voice reminded her of when they first met.
“I see.” Her voice was calm and steady but she felt bitterness steal into her heart. He hadn't offered to take her along. Perhaps he wanted to spend time alone with Gabriella. Kate almost choked at the thought of Matthew entertaining Gabriella overnight in his apartment, ensconced in the charming rooms. Good grief, what a suspicious character she was turning into. Both Matthew and Gabriella had assured her there was nothing between them but she couldn't shake off her melancholy. The impulsive girl loved Matthew, and he was a man used to taking what was offered, especially if the offering was by such a striking woman.
“Gabi will stay over at Rebecca's apartment tonight. Tomorrow morning I'll drive her to the airport.”
“It's none of my business where Gabriella plans to sleep.”
“True. I don't know why I thought you might be interested. Sorry.” He leaned on the ledge of the fireplace. “How's the book going?”
“Fine, thanks,” she answered curtly.
“Are you angry at me?”
“Do I have any reason to be?”
“No.” He straightened up, “I'll call you from London. You can always reach me on my cell phone.”
“There won't be any need for that.”
“You can never tell, and besides, there doesn't have to be any special reason for you to call. I promise I won't hang up on you.”
He raised his hand to smooth her hair. She didn't move, afraid she would burst into tears. He leaned down and his lips brushed her mouth briefly, “Good-bye, Kate, we'll see each other soon.”
