by Pamela Ann
“I’m okay. Just worried what Brett might want to talk about.” I had an idea thanks to Greyson’s warning, but also, the more time I spent with my mom, the more I noticed how seldom she smiled. There was something off with her and I had tried to reach out, wanting to know if everything was okay with her relationship with Brett, but she would always tell me she was perfectly fine—that she was simply exhausted, nothing more.
Only then had I realized how much there was between Mom and I. Back in the day, we used to talk about everything and anything and we still did, but it didn’t have the easy, carefree way that we used to express ourselves. This time around, it felt forced.
Sighing, I excused myself to head towards Brett’s library, hoping he could shed some light on my mother’s behavior. I mean, if they were having some trouble in paradise, I’d want to know. My mother was a strong woman, and for her to act this way truly wasn’t part of her character.
Walking across the hallway, I took a few steady breaths before I reached the end and knocked on the large two-door mahogany that made my knuckles hurt. “Brett?” I said as I gently pushed the door open.
Brett was in one of the leather wingback chairs, reading a thriller novel with his black-framed glasses on. Once he saw me enter, he shut the book and took his glasses off, leaving them on the side table that had a large humidor holding his favorite cigars.
“Hey…” I greeted shyly as I progressed into the room, walking slowly towards him before I took the chair opposite him. Sitting nervously, I waited for him to tell me what he needed me here for.
He gave me a warm smile, somehow melting some of my agitation before he threw his first question. “How does it feel to be back home?”
Fair enough… “It’s good. Jet lag is the only thing horrible I can think of at the moment.”
He made a light chuckle, making me grin wider. “It’s good to have you back. Without Greyson living here, it can get lonely most days,” he said before his voice grew more serious. “Your mom’s going through a difficult time. I understand most of her struggles since we’re both single parents, but Laura lived for you for years, sacrificing a lot just to make sure you’re happy and protected. But when you left, she started to feel blue, which of course was normal, but it seemed to have gotten worse instead of better as time went on. So after a few tries, Greyson finally managed to convince her to go see a doctor and she was diagnosed with severe depression.”
“Oh, no,” I gasped, horrified that I hadn’t had any clue about any of it. Ever since I left, I had been so consumed with my grief I hadn’t noticed little clues about my mom’s mood shifts. I was in too deep in my own crap, so much so that I neglected the one person who had never failed to be there for me. “I hadn’t realized it went that far. Mom isn’t the type to be depressed.” I shook my head in confusion as I stared into Brett’s understanding face.
“At least you have your reasons about being so far away, but me? I was here, seeing her almost on a daily basis, but work has been crazy as of late so I hadn’t seen the changes—not until it got worse.”
His face turned solemn before he said, “She was prescribed some anti-depressants, but she refused to take them after she took one. She said it made her go crazy, like she was hallucinating things.”
Oh, God. My own mother… I was a selfish brat.
“She’s seeing a therapist twice a week, but other than that, she doesn’t want to do much else.” He paused, giving me a frowned look. “I have to take this matter into my own hands. I love your mother and I would do anything to help her. Therefore, I’m taking some time off soon, and I’m planning to take her on a month long vacation. Maybe it would do us good since we never really got the chance to enjoy one another without work between us.” I was grateful to have a man like Brett to love my mom. She deserved to be taken care of, and he loved her as much as she did him.
“That’s perfect—she’d love that. She’s always wanted to go travel but never really got to because she had to take care of me.”
“It’s a process, and I hope it works.”
“It should work. Travelling would take her mind of things. Mom stresses too much. Even on things that don’t need to be stressed about, she’d worry about it.”
“That’s why I also asked to speak to you, because I wanted to ask you a favor, Liv. I know you’ve planned all year to study in Sydney, and I applaud you for following your dreams—I really do. It pains me to ask you this, but I’m afraid I’m left with little choice.
“You see, Laura didn’t start these small bouts of depression until you left for Australia and it’s been downhill from there. One of the therapists I spoke to for advice told me that this could be a case of major separation anxiety on her part since you two never really parted ways for this long of time. She probably feels like you’re moving on with your life, and she’s not a part of that new life that you’ve embarked on. After years of taking care of you, it’s quite plausible that this could be one of the triggers.
“So here’s what I’m willing to offer in exchange of your dreams in studying abroad.” He handed me a sheet of paper and my eyes immediately scanned what it stated.
UCLA Admission will be taken care of.
Tuition will be paid for as long as you plan to be in school.
You will have your own apartment located close to campus.
A car of your choice.
Monthly allowance.
You get to choose a summer destination anywhere in the world.
Overwhelmed and quite impressed at what he was willing to go through just to make my mom happy, I somehow felt he could simply ask me without having to add all these bells and whistles to bribe me to come back home. After all, this was my mother we were speaking about.
“I can come back without having you spend a dime. I’d do anything for my mom.”
“I know you will, Olivia, but I know you’re also giving up something you’ve been planning for a long time. I want to add a sweetener, that’s all.” He cleared his throat before looking at me with all seriousness. “I love you like you’re my daughter, but I’m not going to lie, there’s another motive for this.”
My body tensed, waiting for him to finish talking.
“Ever since you left, my son—he’s changed and I’m not sure I like the man that he’s turning himself into.”
Shit. Did he know? I’m sure he had an idea. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.
“He doesn’t speak much to me, but I knew my son was in love with you. I care about the both of you, and I will let you two figure things on your own, however I want to see if having you back will bring him around.”
How bad was bad? He changed quite drastically, but Greyson had always been mercurial. So it was hard to guess.
After what happened last night, considering living back here again would complicate my already chaotic life, but I had to compromise and make small sacrifices for my mother. My degree wouldn’t alter, even if I moved schools. I supposed I could try it here and see if it worked.
“I’ll stay, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to follow through with these.”
“It’ll be paid for. The last thing I want you to do is worry,” he persisted, his mind already decided before he’d asked to speak to me.
“I don’t know what to say—this is all so fast.”
“Life always is, my dear… especially when you least expect it.”
So, after my chat with Brett, I decided to wait until tomorrow to tell Liam about the new change of plans. First, I needed to seek Mom out and hope she’d tell me about what she was going through.
Yet, when I tried to broach the subject to my mother, she simply brushed it off, telling me I had nothing to worry about. For days I tried to make her open up to me, but she wasn’t cooperating. It seemed that, the more I persisted she tell me, the more she withdrew from me.
Brett was right; maybe taking her on a vacation would be a start to healing her slowly. I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened,
but I was glad he had a plan to help her out. Because if this had happened without him with just me as my mom’s go-to person, I wasn’t sure if I could have handled it, let alone have the capacity to truly understand how a parent felt and functioned dealing with separation anxiety.
Chapter 18
Liv
“Hey, can I come in?” Liam asked the second he opened the door to my bedroom.
I was on my laptop, emailing my counselor about what was about to happen. I hoped they wouldn’t give me a hard time with paperwork and getting recommendations.
“Sure, give me a second.” I gave him a quick glance before I saved my draft, shut the lid of my laptop and placed it on the side. I barely had time to catch my breath when Liam took me by surprise, pressing me on my back as he rolled himself on top of me, ravaging my lips while his hand went underneath the crack of my shorts, pushing my underwear aside to stroke me.
“Liam!” I gasped in shock, feeling like a complete hussy as I remembered Greyson’s face. “Stop—please stop.”
It took him another thirty seconds to slow down before he looked down at me, confused in my sudden change of attitude. “What’s wrong?”
I had about a minute to contemplate which news I had to break to him first. I ended up choosing the better of the two and told him about what had Brett proposed in the library earlier.
“Fuck—where does that leave us?” He looked hurt. “Where does that leave me?”
Last night I had already made a choice. It was best I put my foot forward, dive into the water, and swim with the sharks. “When we started this thing between us, I thought we had an understanding that this was just sex. I’m not going to lie and say being with you hasn’t been amazing—because you are truly exceptional, Liam. And even though we have this fantastic connection, you knew where my heart rested.”
“Even after last night? He ignored you—as if you weren’t even there. How could you fall for such an asshole who doesn’t care about you?”
Especially after last night, I thought with a heavy heart.
I understood Liam’s anger, and I wished I had a balm to heal some of the pain he was going through, but at the same time, we were both adults, knowing quite well what we had gotten ourselves into before we started this physical relationship.
“I had sex with him last night.” Or technically, it was the early morning…
Liam gripped my arm so hard I had to tell him twice to let it go. He was furious, and I knew he wasn’t aware of his actions, but hell that hurt.
“He’s bloody married, Olivia! Doesn’t that bother you at all? Are you that stupid to let a married man’s cock slip inside you because you couldn’t resist him?” Ouch. He had hit home on that one.
“My heart doesn’t differentiate if he’s wearing a wedding ring or not. It only knows him. The man itself.” I reached out to him, hoping he’d understand. “I’m sorry… again…” Why did I think this was going to be different? I was stupid every single time Greyson was part of the equation. Always.
Liam left the next day. I had begged him to stay longer, but he was adamant to leave, telling me that he loved me and hoped I’d open my eyes one day. And when I did, I knew where to find him.
I had royally messed up my holidays, but Mom and Brett were also busy helping me choose a place after Brett confirmed his connections in UCLA had gotten me in after he faxed the unofficial grades I printed out the day before. Dad was, of course, saddened about my decision and promised to have all of my belongings shipped back here. Grey decided not to show up at all, and I was beyond disappointed, yet I had sort of known this was going to happen all along.
With no Liam to distract me and my friends busy with their own lives, it was hard to get through the days sometimes. I couldn’t believe it when I started counting down the days until school began again.
+++
Josie and Gavin were so caught up with each other it was hard to imagine breaking them apart. I adored those two, but sometimes, I needed a break from all the touchy-feely-love-is-in-the-air environment.
They were happy, and as much as I was ecstatic for Josie, I needed my own distraction. Without Liam always on stand-by like in Sydney, I knew I had to make friends somehow. And since most of the students from my high school were attending here, it was one opportunity I couldn’t pass.
From what Josie had told me, Greyson was only studying part-time and rarely hung out at parties anymore. This important tidbit made me rejoice. Maybe college life wouldn’t be so horrible since he wasn’t always around.
Wintertime in LA meant there would be days that it would be scorching hot to the point you’d think it was summer already. These particular days were highly celebrated by everyone—most especially the college crowd. Party invites were thrown left and right, and I had to check which ones would be the best to debut myself as part of their crowd. What’s more, since Josie was too busy sucking lips with her man, I had to surprise another “friend” to show me the ropes.
Casually dressed in my distressed jean skirt and midriff, casual, sleeveless tee that showed my electric blue bralette that matched my Havaianas, I gave myself another once-over before I situated my large Ray Bans and left the apartment. Student housing was only a mere block away, so I took a leisurely stroll, loving the warmth of the sun and my positive thinking as of late.
Plucking out my phone from my pocket, I scrolled through Josie’s past messages that had directions to which apartment complex I was supposed to head to. Some of the housing were on the hills, and although they were small and nothing too daunting, going up and down them made me feel like I had worked out on a treadmill.
After walking for another five minutes, I found myself standing in front of the door that said six-nine-six in gold plated lettering. Forming a fist, I was about to knock when the door immediately opened with a goofy-grinning Jet on the other end.
“What’s new, Miss Australia?”
Good to know he was chill to have me around. I thought that since he was Grey’s best bud he’d hate me, too. So finding out that he didn’t, I was truly overjoyed. I needed friends that I knew from a year back and Jet was a good guy who had always had my back.
“Ha. Ha. Nothing much.” I lightly smacked him in the arm, grinning at him as I entered the apartment.
He then introduced me to two other guys that lived with him, Andy and Beau. It gave a glimpse of how quickly things could change once we all moved forward towards the future. He and Grey used to be inseparable, but from what Josie had said, they only hung out once in awhile because Edith consumed most of his time. Seeing Jet now and how genuinely happy he was to see me, it only proved how much he probably missed being around the people he had grown up with through middle and high school.
As he offered me a drink and casually asked about my life in Sydney, I was surprised he didn’t bring up anything about Greyson—or the blatant fact that he was married. However, he didn’t seem to lack any knowledge when it came to all the parties going on this weekend. Maybe he was like me—hurt from Grey, although it was in a different context. Still, maybe that would be a good bit of common ground. That way, I wouldn’t have to hear about him at all, which would be fan-freaking-tastic.
“It’s weird to be back…” I muttered the second I took my fourth sip of the fruity, alcoholic drink he had given me.
He smirked. “I bet. Times have changed, though, haven’t they?” He gave me a straight look. “College life is so different compared to high school, that’s for sure.”
“You sound a little blue…” I teased, wondering if he missed his sidekick. He probably did, though he wouldn’t admit to it.
He shrugged. “Nah—just crap here and there. No biggie.”
“Well, I’m here to listen to your crap whenever you feel the need to rant away,” I kindly offered. “As you can see, I don’t have many friends here without Josie. I need to start playing nice to others, but hey, I found you, so maybe there’s no need for me to play nice. I can act like myself ‘cause
you’re used to me acting all sorts of crazy anyway.” It was a joke, somewhat. But I knew Jet had good knowledge about what had happened with Greyson, and I was glad I didn’t have to explain anything because he wasn’t the type to nag and pester someone for details. Grey had long ago pointed out that this was one of the things he liked about being friends with Jet. And I’d have to agree to that.
“Friends, huh…?” He sounded unsure, yet his eyes wickedly looked like he was up for anything. “Don’t know about that. I might know a certain someone who would cut a bitch if he finds out we’re hanging out.” He addressed Greyson in a manner where I didn’t have to thoroughly get into it if it made me uncomfortable. It was done in a nice way, therefore I didn’t feel the need to lie or mask much of my feelings.
“I doubt that. It’s not like that between us anymore. Besides, he’s married and in love.”
He pushed his chin out, pondering, before pouting as he nodded his head slowly. “That he is, my dear friend,” he murmured. “That he is…”
I made a wistful sigh before he caught my attention.
“Let’s get out of here. I’m not sure how college parties go in Australia, but I think you’d like how we do it here—groove and booze—that’s all I’m sayin’.”
“Groove and booze.” I grinned, ready to join in on the fun. “I like the sound of that already.”
Chapter 19
Grey
“Hey bro, pass the phone to Jet, yeah?” I asked Ro, one of guys that we drift with, the second he took my call.
“Uh, wait a sec.” I heard some muffled sounds then complete silence before the muffled sound began again then his voice came back. “Jet’s inside… busy, I think. I’ll tell him to hit you up, though, cool?”
No, the fuck it wasn’t cool. He was supposed to call me yesterday for a meet that was supposed to happen at midnight, in an hour’s time.
Irritated because he was acting like a motherfucking flake, I transferred some of my anger towards Ro. “Dude, how fucking hard is it to go inside and pull him out of there? If he’s with some chick, then who the fuck cares? He could replace that shit anytime. Now don’t piss me the fuck off!”
