by Rosanna Leo
Dana: No.
Alex: Are you okay?
Dana: Been better.
Alex: I can come over. We can talk.
Dana: You mean you still want to talk to me?
A pause.
Alex: Dana, I’d be happy just to breathe the air around you right now.
Shivers made her skin prickle into goosebumps.
Maybe talking wouldn’t be so bad. They were both adults and liked each other. Who said their time together had to be about sex? Surely, they could contain themselves.
Although the thought of Alex’s hands on her body made her want to sing. When he touched her, she felt youthful and free and jubilant.
She needed to feel it again.
Dana: I’d love to see you.
Alex: Tell me where you live. I can be there in no time.
She glanced around her messy condo. Shoes were strewn in the hallway and dirty dishes were piled on the counter. Not exactly like the pristine environment in Alex’s apartment. It might very well give him a case of the hives. Besides, her condo seemed far too empty. She didn’t want to be there, not tonight.
Dana: I’ll come to you.
Alex: I can send a car for you.
Dana: No, it’s okay. I’m all right to drive. I’ll just throw some clothes on.
Alex: I’ll be waiting.
Dana: Alex, I want you to know this isn’t a booty call. I’m not trying to use you.
Alex: No booty call. Got it. Am putting my booty away as we speak.
In spite of herself, she laughed.
Alex: Just come.
She signed off and threw on some clothes, the jeans she’d discarded earlier and a clean t-shirt. Finger-combing her curls, she headed to the washroom and brushed her teeth. Slipping into a pair of ballet flats, she grabbed her purse and keys and headed into the corridor, locking her condo behind her.
She reached Vice in ten minutes, but it felt like thirty. She left her car with the valet and headed inside. Even at this time of night, or morning, the casino was a hive of activity. Tourists played every casino game. Some were dressed in eveningwear and others wore casual clothes. One woman even had pajama pants on. As Dana walked by, she saw a security guard discreetly approach the woman, reminding her of the dress code. The annoyed tourist was forced to abandon her slot machine and walked away, presumably to change.
If there was one thing they insisted on at Vice, it was a classy atmosphere.
Although the lights and commotion were programed to distract, she continued toward the admin hallway. Tired, she stumbled a few times on the thick carpet.
She must have looked stunned, because one of the employees came over and asked if she was lost.
She shook her head. Although she didn’t say it out loud, she’d never felt so lost in her life.
“Alex.”
She didn’t realize she’d mumbled his name until it was out of her mouth.
Everyone comes to Vegas looking for something.
She was looking for him, even though she might not have a hope in hell of having a long-term relationship with him.
The admin hallway was dark and quiet. The casino might never sleep, but it seemed the admin staff members were allowed their rest. There were a number of offices in the hallway, all locked up. At the end of the corridor was the elevator that led to Alex’s office. Its silver doors were shut tight, making it seem like an insurmountable barrier, a symbol of what she had with Alex. The doors might slide open here and there, but at the end of the day, if she didn’t have the right access, they could be closed to her for good.
Not tonight. As Dana approached the elevator, it swung open for her.
She should go home and get over herself. Lots of people had partners who cheated. She didn’t even love Tommy anymore. In all honesty, she’d stopped loving him the moment he’d retreated from her in Dr. Batra’s office.
Go home. Don’t involve Alex.
She couldn’t leave. His allure held her in place. She was a willing captive, hoping for a glimpse of her captor.
More than anything, she was tired, so tired, and she just wanted to talk to him. Was it so wrong? Perhaps talking wasn’t what drove her out of bed. The pain inside her had grown, had started snarling like a beast, and it could only be eased by his touch.
Dana longed for Alex to touch her again.
Here, in his domain, her loneliness didn’t cut quite as deep. Here, she could breathe. Filling her lungs, she entered the elevator and backed up against the wall.
So tired.
For a second, she pretended she was in Covet, numb with pleasure.
Numb, through and through.
Willing herself there, Dana closed her eyes.
***
Alex held his breath as the elevator rose to the fourth floor. What on earth would have possessed Dana to reach out to him in the middle of the night? Not that he minded. She could text him round the clock and he wouldn’t have a problem with it.
The elevator door opened. Dana leaned against the wall, her face creased in pain.
He flew to her. Her mocha skin was grey.
She opened her eyes. They were the shadowed eyes of a woman at the end of her tether.
He held out his arms and she fell into them.
“It’s okay.” He stroked her curls and kissed her head. “It’s going to be okay.”
She raised her head. Her lips parted. So kissable.
No. She left him, wanting a clean break. He could comfort her, but they couldn’t do this.
Dana had made it clear she didn’t want him in her life.
Get a grip. She’s not yours. Remember?
“Your hand. Alex, what happened?”
“It’s okay. I’ll tell you about it later. What happened to you?”
“Tommy.”
Fuck, how he hated that name. Without even knowing the story, Alex wanted to wrench the man’s arms from their sockets.
I’ll kill him.
He forced himself to take a deep breath.
“Let’s go inside. I’ll make you a coffee.”
They walked into his office and she took a seat on one of the couches.
“No coffee, please. I can’t sleep as it is. Caffeine probably isn’t the best idea.” She shrugged her shoulders. “This is probably not the best idea.”
“What?”
“Being here. With you.”
“Never mind that.” He turned on the coffeemaker and it gurgled to life. “You don’t mind if I make myself a cup? I could use the caffeine.”
“Go ahead.”
Small and soft, her voice put a vise around his heart. As he waited for the cup of coffee to brew, the vise tightened, squeezing all the vitality out of him.
Swallowing hard, Alex grabbed the freshly brewed coffee. He sat next to her and waited, giving her as much time as she needed to unburden herself.
“So,” she began, “I saw Tommy.”
The imaginary vise turned into a massive millstone, grinding Alex’s heart into powder. “Okay.”
“He cheated on me while we were together. They’re having a baby.”
Alex would kill Tommy. He might even toss him under that millstone. “I’m sorry.”
“This shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.”
“Give yourself some credit. You’re only human.”
“It doesn’t matter. I should be able to rise above it. This isn’t like me. I don’t sit around the house, pining for men. I move on. It’s what I’ve always done. I don’t understand why I’m so stuck.”
“Dana.” He gentled his tone. “You’re not pining for Tommy. The man’s a shithead and doesn’t deserve you, and you know it. This has never been about Tommy.”
Her eyes welled up.
He put his coffee down and curled his arm around her shoulder. “Sweetheart, you need to talk to someone about your condition.”
“I can’t. Alex, I just can’t.”
“You have to.”
“I feel like I’ve lost myself.
I’ve never been the sort of woman who picked out baby names before she picked out a husband. I’ve always rolled with the punches. But now, I can’t help feeling this is somehow my fault. That I failed somewhere along the way.”
“You didn’t do this.”
“Didn’t I? I don’t know. And even if I didn’t cause it, I’m drowning under the weight of it. It’s always there, Alex, at the back of my mind. It’s like a monster, clawing at me. Every time I find a distraction, I feel the scratch of its nails on my back. Reminding me. Torturing me.”
Her description tortured him.
“Some days, I think it might kill me.”
“No.” He pulled her into his arms. “You’re too strong for that. Besides, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I’m not sure I deserve your friendship.”
“I’m not offering friendship, Dana. You know that.”
She gazed at him. Once again, her face was so close, so touchable. And yet she was vulnerable in the worst way. He shouldn’t want her, but he did. He wanted to take her into his bedroom and fuck the sadness out of her. He wanted to fuck her into a state of unending bliss.
“Look.” With trouble, he put some space between them. He couldn’t think when she was so close. “I’m not trying to pressure you, and I know you believe you’re making some sort of noble sacrifice by staying away from me, but let’s not kid ourselves. We care about each other. We want each other. I’d like to be at your side for this, but not just for this. For everything. And I think if you give us a chance, we can work through these feelings together.”
She stood and paced. “What if I’m not enough for you? What if you change your mind?”
“Listen to me.” Alex reached for her. “Anyone who thinks you’re not enough on your own is a damn fool. And as for either of us changing our minds, we’ll never know if you’re not willing to take that risk.”
“I can’t.”
“Nothing in life is guaranteed. Children, marriage, jobs, health, sanity. None of it. But whatever we’re given, I’d like to share it with you.”
“How can you know? It’s too soon.”
“I get that. I’ve just never felt this way before.”
Wonder made her dark eyes appear twice as large. “I’m not sure I’m ready to make promises.”
“I don’t expect any. Let’s start out simple. We agree not to label this and we take it one day at a time. We can even keep things platonic. Just don’t shut me out.”
“Platonic, huh?”
He grinned. “Sure. Why not? I can do platonic. I’m an easy-going guy.”
When she smiled back, the horrible millstone rolled away. “Yeah, sure. Something tells me you can do platonic and easy-going as well as you can do messy.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been doing messy pretty well lately.”
“Really?”
“There are three shirts sitting on my closet floor right now. I’m almost filthy.” He chuckled. “I’m just asking for a chance to be there for you.”
“I’d…like that.”
Not only did the millstone disappear, it took the vise with it. Alex’s heart expanded like a balloon, filling his veins with heat again. “Good. So, it’s too early to go out. Do you want to watch TV?”
“No, thanks. I’m already worrying about how I’m going to make it through the work day. I’ll be a zombie.”
“It’s Sunday. Do you always work the weekends?”
“No, but I just got a new convention. I wanted to get a head start on a few things.”
“Oh, yeah? Which convention?”
“The mystery writers.”
“I heard they were coming to town. Congratulations on landing it.”
“Thanks. I usually do my own legwork, but this one sort of landed on me. My boss made the initial contact.” She made a face. “They want to stay at Vice.”
“Awesome. Consider it done.”
“You’d be okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? I’m glad you told me. I’ll make sure we treat them well.”
“I can’t be seen giving Vice preferential treatment. I work with every major hotel on the Strip. They all pay hefty membership fees to belong to the convention and visitors’ association. I have to be careful about conflicts of interest.”
“You said yourself they want to stay at Vice. You would have booked it, whether you knew me or not, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I see no conflict here.”
“Thanks, Alex. I didn’t want to impose, you know, after everything.”
“It’s not an imposition. We’ll give them the VIP treatment, I promise.”
Another smile. Everything inside him lightened and soared.
“On one condition. I want you to talk to someone.”
Her smile drifted away.
Alex placed a hand on hers. “I know it won’t fix things, Dana, but it might help. Please.”
“Okay.”
Alex turned on some soft music and they sat together. They didn’t talk, just basked in each other’s presence. She cuddled next to him, her head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around her. It felt so good just to rub her shoulder and offer some comfort.
Her head grew heavy and bobbed a couple of times. He loved that she was comfortable enough to fall asleep with him. He started to doze next to her when she startled awake.
She shook her head. “I should go. I have a lot of work to do.”
“But you’re exhausted.”
“I know but I have no choice.”
“You’ll be working from home?”
“Yeah. I have to update our online delegate website before I send the link to the mystery writers. We have a few new member restaurants and I need to get them added to the site. They’ve paid for the privilege so they get more exposure with convention delegates.”
“I was hoping to hang out with you today, you know, in a platonic way.”
“I would like that, but—”
“How would you feel about getting away from the Strip altogether and doing your work in a nice, peaceful environment?”
“Sounds great. Where is this haven?”
“My home.”
“But you live here.”
“I have another home. When I first arrived in Vegas, I rented a house in Summerlin. I decided to keep it, you know, so I have a quiet place to clear my head.”
“Only you, Alex Markov, would keep a house on the side to help you clear your head.” Her laugh was music, so bubbly and happy, it might have been composed by Mozart.
“I like my casino pad, but it’s not exactly homey. It’s important to have a retreat.”
Dana’s lips continued to curl upward in a silent tease. It would be so easy to claim those lips right now, to lick at the corners and nibble their fullness.
But he didn’t.
They were having an actual friendly conversation, one in which neither of them was declaring the intention of fucking the other. He wanted to sleep with her and he knew she wanted to sleep with him.
It probably wasn’t what either of them needed.
Alex kept his lips to himself and swallowed his sigh of sexual frustration.
One step at a time.
“Okay, Alex. I’d love to see your retreat. Do you mind if we stop at my place first, so I can get my laptop?”
“Sure. I’ll get my driver to take us, so neither of us falls asleep at the wheel. Sound good?”
“Yeah.” Dana’s voice was quiet, pensive, but the smile hadn’t left her face. “Sounds good.”
Chapter Fourteen
Dana had figured Alex’s home away from home would be something special.
What she didn’t expect was a Mediterranean-style estate.
She’d seen a few nice homes in her time. After all, her role at the tourism association involved a fair amount of hobnobbing. She’d been a guest at numerous wine and cheese parties, weddings, and open houses. Her long-term clients had invited her to many exquisite funct
ions.
This was just a whole other level of exquisite.
Perhaps it only seemed that way because Alex’s apartment at Vice was so spare and basic. It made this custom-made home seem even more luxurious. Under the bright sun, she could see all the details that proved the house was well maintained. There wasn’t a single patch of dead grass on the green lawn. Not one chip marred the brickwork. And the floor-to-ceiling windows sparkled.
Before getting out of the car, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. “I know. It’s a bit much, but I like it.”
She gestured toward the courtyard and the elegant arch at the doorway. “Who wouldn’t?”
He smiled. He got out of the car, grabbed her briefcase with his left hand, and held the door open for her. “Ready?”
“Probably not, but I’m coming anyway.”
Alex spoke to his driver, Pierre, and let him know he wouldn’t be needed for a while. The man waved and drove away.
As they walked to the front door and passed through the archway, Alex tried to sling his right arm over her shoulder. Upon remembering his splint, he huffed in annoyance, and lowered it. “I can’t wait ’til this thing is off.”
“You never told me what happened.”
“It’s a long story.”
“I have time.”
“How about I make you breakfast while I tell you?”
“But your arm.”
“I’ll manage. Are you hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“All right, then. Let’s eat.” He unlocked the front door and allowed Dana to pass through. “Make yourself at home.”
The foyer led directly to a living room that was awash in light, thanks to another set of enormous windows at the back of the house. Through these windows, she spotted a gorgeous pool, the sort often featured in landscaping magazines. She hurried forward to take a closer look. A number of decorative boulders and shrubs dotted the edge of the pool. At the far end, the boulders were built higher and water spilled from the highest point, creating a waterfall. It created a curtain-like effect, making her think of their nook at Covet.
