“Almost, sir,” I answered slowly, wondering how he planned to use it. “I still need to load test the engines and weapons. I should be able to sign everything off before my ship arrives this evening.”
“She’s our last one, did you know that? The ships we sent to chase away your strike force were all lost. I don’t suppose I can convince you to stay on and help train up a group of engineers, maybe work with the shipyards helping to design a new class of planetary defense craft? Your up-armored Esprit-class woefully outmatches our current FAC design. I have a senior starship architect that has some ideas and I know he’d love to meet you.”
My mouth opened, and I forced it to close again. I was seeing the future as if I were Tarakana, exploring the twisted alternate time lines. I could do it. I should do it. Kastanje had been one of the better yards in the Union before the war, not as good as Dulcinea or Bodens Gate, but maybe in a few years…
I chewed on my lip while Colonel Gerbrandij stared at me. Kastanje. There were Tarakana down there planning on a hundred years of multi-faction civil war to keep them fed and happy. If I stayed, I could put a stop to that with Merrimac’s help. I had a painful score to settle with the Puca. My arm still hurt. The scar wasn’t going away despite daily sessions with the medical AI. There had been something in the bite that it was having trouble eliminating.
“I still have my Union service obligation to fulfill,” I told him. “And my husband is on board the Esprit Orageux. Why do you even want me? I’m nobody.”
Colonel Gerbrandij’s eyebrows went up, shocked that I was even considering it. “I think we can work around those two issues if you’re serious. And you’re not ‘nobody’. You have two patents to your name and you brought the Redoubt’s systems back on line in three days instead of the three weeks my experts said it would take. That was a hell of an audition for the kind of work we have ahead of us as we rebuild. You’d really join us? I can put in a transfer request through Union channels, or as a temporary duty assignment if you want. I would need at least a one-year commitment. Do you want me to put in a request for both of you?”
I closed my eyes and waited for the imagined feel of Winona’s finger whacking my forehead. Nothing came. Interesting. “I should think about it first and talk to my husband. His name is Samuel Coleridge, and the Union might not show us as being married, but we are.” I closed my eyes again, watching the future unfolding. A hum filled my head, distant but comforting, and growing stronger in me. Even my arm felt better. I was still on track with Merrimac’s plan after all, I was sure of it.
I opened my eyes, full of irrational confidence. “Please put in the request for me and Samuel Coleridge, and one for Winona Killdeer too. You may not have heard of her, but once you meet her you’ll forget that I even exist. She’s the best.” I sighed. “My mom is going to kill me for doing this.”
“Your mom? What does she do? Maybe I can find something here for her if she’s important to you.”
I put my hand over my mouth and shook my head, trying not to laugh. “Best to leave her out of this.”
After he left, I called Winona and Sam on my display pad to give them the good news.
“Oh my God.” Winona’s eyes went as large as I’d ever seen them.
“Winn, are you OK?” She didn’t answer.
“Um, that may not have been a good idea.” Sam’s eyes were trying to catch up with hers.
“Why not? I’m absolutely certain that this is where I’m supposed to be. We can talk about it while the request gets processed and we can always turn it down if we decide not to go.”
Winn turned to Sam, speaking calmly. “Listen to her. Can you believe she had six years at the Academy and is still that clueless?” She shook her head slowly and looked into my eyes. My best friend screamed at me. “Wakeup! This isn’t RuComm. Turning down a duty assignment from them is career damaging enough. This is the Union Aerospace Force. If they approve that Colonel’s request, then that’s it. They’ll assign us where they think we’re most valuable to the Union, or where it’s most politically expedient. Damn you, Mala Dusa. Still the princess, still trying to manipulate the rest of us to satisfy your desires. Did you stop to think about Kal? I’ve fallen in love with him, Duse. No, you didn’t think. You heard your friend Merrimac calling to you and decided to rip my heart out of my chest. Off we go down the next rabbit hole and me all alone again.”
She covered her face with both hands. “And Captain Rostron. Do you know what I went through to persuade her to bring Sam on board for you? You’ve been a problem since you got here. I convinced her you’d be more compliant if you had Sam banging you every night. I don’t know how I can explain this. There’s no explaining it. I’ve got nothing. I gave you my hair, I gave it to you for a reason,”
The waver in her voice broke my heart.
She stood and walked away. “I’m done with you.”
Sam called after her. “Maybe it’s from the trauma of what happened down there, or maybe the effect of the bite. It’s not healing the way it should; there might be a toxin that could explain this?”
Winona answered him from off screen. “Sure, Samuel. Good luck trying to sell that. And even if you do, what are you going to come up with for the next time?”
“Next time?”
“You know there’ll be a next time. With her there’s always a next time.”
Sam was still looking in the direction Winona had gone, not saying anything.
“I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I? What is wrong with me?”
“MD, they might approve your transfer and not mine. They might approve Winona and not either of us. Yeah, it’s a mess. Are you sure it’s Merrimac you’re hearing and not the Puca that want you to stay?”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” I wiped at my eyes. “I hadn’t thought of anything other than what I wanted. I need to go. Maybe I can undo this. Tell Winona…” I couldn’t finish. A sob was half way up my throat and it wouldn’t go up or down.
“I’ll tell her you love her.”
I squared my shoulders. “Yes, tell her that. It won’t matter to her after what I just did. Tell her anyway and tell her that I’m going to fix this no matter what it takes. Sam, my love, I’ll see you in a few hours, if you still want me.”
“Always, no matter what.”
I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him.
I had to wait outside Colonel Gerbrandij’s office for almost an hour while he finished a meeting. His aide-de-camp stared at me the whole time. Maybe he didn’t like my uniform jacket. The Union’s tan tiger stripes clashed with the KDF camo of my pants and shirt. He seemed like the sort of young officer that would care deeply about that sort of thing. I don’t think his uniform had ever seen dirt. God, I hate it when people stare at me.
The officers filing out of Colonel Gerbrandij’s office didn’t stare. I got a half dozen raised eyebrows, one smirk, and unanimous distrust. The last one out, a major missing his left arm, looked like he was wondering why no one had arrested me or shot me as a spy.
“Lieutenant, I can only give you a few minutes before I need to leave for the surface.”
I was still watching the last of his officers as they left. One-arm major was watching right back, scowling the whole way. I waited for the door to slide closed behind him before turning back around. “I think that man wants to kill me.”
“It’s not you personally. It’s more the idea of you that he wants to kill. Let’s just say that he was less than enthusiastic about my recruiting Union officers to aid in rebuilding our infrastructure.”
We entered the Colonel’s office and he gestured for me to sit across from him. “I’m not really a Union officer,” I told him. “I’m RuComm, on assignment to the Union Aerospace Force.”
“I imagine your CO hates it when you say things like that.”
I blushed. “Yes, sir. She does.”
“Then stop doing it. I spent the last ninety minutes trying to convince my staff that I wasn’t crazy or a traitor. It’s officers like you, Lieutenant Holloman, that will make or break reunification. It’s going to take time for them to understand the truth of what you and I can already see. We will fail if we wait for the Union to pay any attention to what we need. The people down there are hungry and most have been without power for months. The Union and RuComm are focusing on the next battle, not trying to rebuild Kastanje. There are factions already trying to set up competing governments, fighting each other, each claiming to be legitimate. RuComm has promised to send an advisor as soon as one is available. One advisor. Sometime. It will be a hundred years before the government can sort this out if I don’t get ahead of it right now. I have to actively pursue integrating our military and government back into the Union, otherwise, how many will be dead that didn’t need to die?”
He leaned back, rubbing his eyes. “I’ve taken most of your time. What was it you came here to tell me?”
My resolve collapsed. I felt for Sam and he was there with me, letting me know he still loved me and always would, no matter that I was an idiot. I touched the watch that covered Winona’s lock of hair, and I swear I felt her lips touch my forehead.
“Nothing important, sir. I just wanted to let you know that FAC Zero Nine is finished. I updated her firmware with a schema from the Esprit Orageux. The stubs are all in place now if you ever decide to add Holloman armor to her.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant,” he stood and put his jacket on, dismissing me, “but I know why you really came. I could see it in your eyes the second you walked in here.” He smiled. “Don’t ever, ever play poker. How badly did your Captain rip you when you told her what you’d done?”
“Haven’t told her,” I mumbled. “It was my friend Winona, and my, my,” I sighed. “My Samuel.”
“Are you convinced that you’re doing the right thing?”
“Yes, sir. I am.”
“Then stick by it. As my people say, Alle begin is moeilij. Every beginning is difficult. Unless the Union has become more efficient in the last six years, this request will still take six to eight weeks to process. That will give you time to learn Dutch.”
“Dutch?”
“Dutch. The professional classes use English most the time, and the KDF requires it, but Dutch is Kastanje’s official language.”
“Dutch.”
His aide was waiting for him with a bag in each hand when we stepped out of the office.
“ ‘t Zal wel niet zo’n vaart lopen, Lieutenant. No worries.” He grinned at me over his shoulder. “And if it makes you feel better, I was going to request you anyway based on the effort you put in on that FAC. Hard work gets rewarded. Now, with luck, I might get three of you.”
“Huh.” I was doomed. I was in the right place, but I was doomed. I glanced at my watch. One hour until Sam. Time to clean up and add a few more lines to the After Action Report that I knew Captain Rostron would demand the moment I set foot back on the Orageux.
The Esprit Orageux was on orbit half a kilometer out from Costrano’s Redoubt at 16:00 local time. I waited outside the transit dock while one of her shuttles maneuvered to grapple to the Redoubt’s airlock. There were no hydrostatic sprayers and I stood with my eyes closed, trying to feel for any pieces of the Puca colony that might be planning to board with me. I felt nothing other than Sam waiting for me. I knew he would always love me, but there had been frustration and disappointment in his thoughts when I had told him that I still wanted to stay on Kastanje and that it was important.
Winona hadn’t answered at all when I tried to call her, and I was terrified that I might have lost her forever. Her words kept echoing in my brain, I’m done with you. I shivered, not sure I could survive without her. I always did stupid things when she wasn’t around to hold me together. Things like requesting a transfer to the Kastanje shipyards.
I boarded the empty shuttle at 16:35 carrying nothing but a small duffle, and Storm flew me home. Captain Rostron was waiting for me when I walked down the ramp. I saluted and requested permission to come aboard. She returned my salute and then regarded me with eyes squinted almost shut. “I see you finally found a combat uniform, Engineer.”
I glanced down at the mottled Kastanje black and gray. “Yes, ma’am. I wasn’t able to get their printers working, but they had these in my size. My only other choice was a peasant dress with…” I touched my chest as I trailed off. I tried to smile, but couldn’t quite get my mouth to agree to it. The Captain’s expression hadn’t changed. “I’ll change as soon as I get to my cabin.”
“You do that. We’ll review your After Action Report first. Walk with me.”
I sat across from her desk on the bridge while she read from the display in front of her. I kept trying to guess what part she was on by the look in her eyes as they scanned back and forth, but her expression never changed.
She glanced up at me after what seemed like hours. “Do you know that lying in an AAR is punishable under article 107?”
“Yes, ma’am.” My face flushed and I could feel my ears glowing red.
“This report says that Major Alaoui and her Marines killed Artem Costrano.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I have reports from a Kastanje Lieutenant Colonel, an NCO, and a Private stating that you were the one that killed Costrano.” She touched something on her display. “The Colonel’s report says, ‘The Union officer, Lieutenant Mala Dusa Holloman, stabbed Mr. Costrano to death with a large knife. She eviscerated him while he was trying to rape her. No charges are anticipated in the case due to the circumstances of his death and the state of war then existing between the Union and the Kastanje Home Collective.” She tapped the display again. “The other reports are more…graphic. This one has a short video clip. Care to comment?”
“Major Alaoui and her team gave their lives protecting me.”
“That does not answer my question. Why are you lying? If those reports are true, then you’re a hero. You completed the raid’s primary objective on your own after they forced our other units to fall back. You’ll get another pretty decoration to pin on the uniform you refuse to wear.”
“May I speak off the record?”
“No, you may not. Storm will continue to listen to every word.”
I sighed. “OK. Major Alaoui made it possible for me to stay alive so I could kill Costrano. She and her team deserve whatever honor is due for eliminating him, not me. I defended myself, that’s all. It was personal. I’d rather that no one ever knows what I did. I’ll update my AAR if you order me to, but please don’t submit my name for any recognition. Send something to the families of the strike team instead. Tell them how the people they loved gave their lives doing something brave and noble. Just…don’t mention me. I wasn’t worth their sacrifice.”
She didn’t answer for a moment and her eyes stayed focused on whatever was on her display. “Update your AAR with the truth. I want to read it, and I think it will do you good to write it out. Mala Dusa, you need to spend some time with your friends. Talk to them about this. Don’t try to hold it inside. I won’t pass your AAR up the line, other than as part of my summary. Marcus may have been right about you after all. You are worth it, even if you sometimes are a pain in–”
“Captain,” Storm interrupted, “we have received updated orders.”
“On my display.”
I swallowed hard and tried to control my breathing. She was reading it. Colonel Gerbrandij had said it would take weeks. I had hoped for time to think of a smooth way of explaining what I had done by then. Part of my brain was wondering how exactly she would kill me now that she knew that I had requested the transfer of three of her officers to a foreign command. Most of my brain was quickly freezing up from the terror of it.
“This makes no sense. Union command for this sector has orde
red us to stay on orbit here as a liaison to the Kastanje Defense Force. Details to follow.”
“The entire ship? For how long?” My voice quavered.
“Yes, all of us. There’s no release date. Why the hell would they do that? We’re needed at Modré Mramoru in less than three weeks and Orageux is not all that she should be after the battle with the FACs.”
“I…um, I don’t know? Ma’am?” She glanced up from her screen at me and read every miserable aspect of my face.
Captain Rostron closed her eyes. “What did I ever do to Marcus to deserve you?” She shrugged, and said too calmly, “I’ll have to kill him, that’s all. OK, Lieutenant, tell me the rest of what you did that’s not in your AAR.”
I told her, my voice still quavering at first, but firming as I got into why it was so important to act now before the insurgent groups could fill the power vacuum. I finished with, “Captain, I know I should have talked to you first. I will never do anything like this again. It seemed so critical to me at the time, so urgent that I act immediately. I had no idea they’d hold our ship here.”
She stared at me, arms crossed, so I added, “Thank you for not saying that you’re going to kill me.”
She raised one eyebrow. “I’m not sure you can be killed. You’re some sort of elemental demonic force drifting through the universe, destroying everything you touch.”
“Yes, ma’am. I think you might be right.”
“You are dismissed. Get something to eat and then I expect to be reading your updated AAR by 05:00, understand? I need to think about all of this before I decide on disciplinary action.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And get out of that uniform. I do not expect to see you in it ever again.”
“Yes, ma’am. Storm is supposed to have printed a couple of standard uniforms for me.”
“They are in your new cabin, Engineer Holloman.” Storm added. “You and Captain Coleridge will be doubling up.”
I left the bridge, feeling too numb to make it to the mess hall. Sam and Winona were leaned against the wall plates a few meters away, waiting for me. I wanted to run to them, but I couldn’t move. Part of me wanted to flee from them.
Wandering Storm Page 17
