by Annie Murray
‘D’you think you’ll be ready by the September meeting?’ he asked. ‘She’s in a dreadful mess, I can see.’
‘Oh, I think so,’ Sam said. It was terrible to see the Flyer in that crushed state but already he was making mental notes of what needed doing. The bodywork would need replacing completely. Cosmo had taken the curve of the hill far too fast, showing off, of course. She’d turned over and rolled. God alone knew how Cosmo had got out with barely a scratch. Must’ve had the patron saint of drunkards on his side, Sam thought bitterly. Types like that always seemed to get out of trouble and inflict it on everyone else.
He had known Loz would explode sooner or later, and this was only the first of an increasing number of rows that started with Loz over Cosmo. The arrival of Cosmo a week later, still wincing in pain from his ribs, infuriated Loz even more.
‘He’s a liability,’ he ranted to Sam after Cosmo had come into the shed to see the work on the car, the unmistakable aroma of Scotch hanging round him like a mist. ‘We’ve given him a chance and he was all right to start with, I grant you. But he’s shown his true colours now. He’s hardly ever bloody sober! For God’s sake, Sam, we’ve only got this year and we’ll be back to square one if we don’t get somewhere with this. In fact . . .’ He wiped his oily hands on a rag and flung it over on to the bench. ‘I’m wondering whether I want anything more to do with it!’
Sam knew that Loz was in a different position from him. He had no emotional entanglements with this project and he was also missing Mary and his boys.
‘Well, you make up your bloody mind whether you’re staying or going,’ Sam said, ‘and stop keeping on.’
He was furious himself. He didn’t want to fall out with his old friend Loz. He didn’t want Cosmo Fairford as his driver. But without Cosmo there might be no Piers Larstonbury, no car . . . And, still such a strong factor, yet one which he could hardly admit, no Lily.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
‘They’re ready! It’s time for the off!’
Once again Lily stood in the crowd of spectators beside Susan Fairford, but this time they were at Brooklands for the September race meeting. The Heath Flyer, newly restored, was entered in the first handicap race.
Lily thought of Sam down beside the finishing straight with Piers and Loz, of all the passion they had poured into the Flyer. And Cosmo was in the driver’s seat. Oh, keep him calm – let him drive his very best. At his best he’s so brilliant, has so much nerve and skill . . .
‘How did he seem this morning?’ Susan had come up from the south coast, arriving late so that she had not seen Cosmo before he was marshalled for the race. Lily could see that Susan was even more nervous than she was. She tried to push from her mind what she had heard between Susan and Sam at Cranbourne last month, all her hurt and jealousy. After all, had she not pushed Sam away?
‘Oh, he was in fine form,’ Lily said. ‘Absolutely full of beans. Talking nineteen to the dozen.’ In fact, she had not seen Cosmo so talkative or full of energy for a very long time. ‘He said he felt ready, and his ribs are healed now.’
Once again Susan was chewing at her fingers, her blue eyes troubled. ‘I’ll be so glad when all this is over.’
There was a roar in the distance from the crowd, accompanied immediately by the acceleration of all the engines as the race began. Lily and Susan craned their necks to see the cars approach in a loud, buzzing mass like a swarm of giant bees.
‘There he is – oh, Lord God!’ Susan gasped. ‘Oh, Cozzy, be careful!’
Lily found herself holding her breath as the scattering of cars roared past them along the alarming tilt of the steep Brooklands track. The Flyer looked like a sleek silver teardrop whizzing past, so fast that she could not catch a proper glimpse of Cosmo’s face under his leather flying helmet, but only his shape, braced as he grasped the wheel of the rushing car, and then they were gone round the bend, the buzzing roar fading.
‘Imagine how it would be without the silencers!’ Lily said, rubbing her ears. Silencers were compulsory at Brooklands races.
‘Oh, this is awful,’ Susan said tremulously. ‘I worry so about him. He’ll kill himself doing it, I’m sure he will. So many of them have . . .’ She craned her neck looking along the track, head topped by a snug green hat, just showing the ends of her pale hair. Lily saw she had lately had her hair cut like her own, in a neat bob.
With each lap they relaxed fractionally. It felt as if Cosmo was in command, was holding on well among the other vehicles, many of them company-built ones.
‘There’s the Austin,’ Lily pointed as they rushed past. She was about to say how pleased Sam would be to beat them on lap times, but she decided not to mention Sam.
Round and round they sped, burning along the tilted outer circuit of track. By the end of the race two cars had had to drop out with mechanical troubles but otherwise all went well and during the last lap Lily found herself almost shaking with relief. He had done it – and he had done it well!
There was another swell of sound from the crowd as the cars tore along the finishing straight and at last the air quietened to a lull, filled with excited chatter and the bookies calling out from their stalls along the track.
‘Oh – I feel as if I’ve just lived a hundred years!’ Susan said, shakily.
Lily felt drained as well.
‘Sometimes I think it’s worse watching than doing it,’ she laughed. She wondered how Sam was feeling. Was he pleased with the result?
They did not get to the men until some time later, when they had agreed to meet for lunch, and they could immediately see that everyone was in glowing form. Piers was the first person they saw, waiting for them at the edge of the paddock as they had agreed so that they could come in as his guests for the meal. He beamed as he saw them approaching.
‘What a morning, eh?’ he cried, his pale, rather donnish face crinkled with enthusiasm. ‘Your son has done us proud, Mrs Fairford. We’re all delighted. A very respectable lap time – averaged 83.7 miles per hour! He was in marvellous form – come along and join us all for luncheon! Over here.’ He indicated their picnic spot on the grass. ‘As you see, we’re dining al fresco!’
For the first time in a long time, as Lily sat down on the warm rug, she saw Sam turn to her and smile, a smile which she realized may not have been particularly directed at her, but somehow also encompassed her in the jubilation of the moment. Those seconds lifted her even more than Cosmo’s success and she smiled back happily. For those few seconds his eyes rested on her face and they were caught in each other’s gaze.
‘Oh, well done, my darling! What a marvellous morning you’ve had!’ Susan went to kiss Cosmo on the top of the head, and for once he did not react with resentment. He was very flushed in the face, eyes bright, and seemed high-wired and taut with success.
They had a light luncheon of cold meats and salad and a crisp white wine and the men all talked excitedly.
‘What about going for a land speed record?’ Cosmo said. His voice seemed raised a little too loudly. Lily could sense the vibrations of excitement coming from him. He was electric with it, though his moods seem to shift from moment to moment. ‘We could go to Pendine Sands – I could take her faster than today if we were on the flat. She can go like the wind . . .’
‘What’s the current record?’ Piers Larstonbury asked.
‘It’s a hundred and thirty-three point seven over the mile,’ Sam said. ‘That was here – back in May. Fellow called Guinness.’
‘Well, what do you think, Ironside?’
Lily watched as Sam considered the idea, his face serious. In that moment, watching him, she knew he would always affect her by his presence.
‘It’d certainly be interesting to try. I doubt she’s up to that. It’d test our ratios all right – a new engine possibly . . .’
He and Loz began a technical conversation about what might be needed for more speed, to which Piers listened avidly. Cosmo ate his plateful of food ravenously.
‘T
hat’s right,’ Susan said to him. ‘You need to keep your strength up for this afternoon.’
The Flyer had been entered, daringly, for one of the International Class races, competing against models from all over the world.
‘I’m flying, Mater,’ Cosmo told her, fizzily. ‘You wait and see. There’s nothing can stop me.’
‘Here we go!’ Susan cried. All eyes were turned in the same direction and once again the posse of cars came careering round the bend into view at frightening speed. The Heath Flyer was there among them, in the middle, and the two women gasped with relief.
‘Go on, Cosmo – drive her!’ Susan yelled, in a way quite out of character. ‘Go on, go on!’
‘He’s doing fine!’ Lily shouted in excitement.
There was a lull as they waited for the next lap. Cosmo was so full of it he would probably have overtaken a few of them by the time they next saw him. The first cars appeared, screaming their way round the track. Lily narrowed her eyes. Where was the Flyer? To her surprise, Cosmo had slipped back a little, was not holding his own as they might have expected.
‘Oh dear!’ Susan said.
There seemed nothing else to say and they watched dismally, waiting and hoping that during the next lap he would pick up and overtake.
But the next lap brought an even more worrying picture. As the cars spun round into view there was not a sign of Cosmo, not at first.
‘He must be in trouble,’ Lily said. ‘Perhaps the engine’s packed up . . .’
But then, there he was, second from the back, and by the next lap he was trailing way behind everyone else, to the point where there rose a joking kind of jeer from the crowd, seeing Cosmo moving along the track at an apparently leisurely speed.
‘That one’s out for a Sunday afternoon pleasure cruise!’ a man joked near then, and everyone around laughed. ‘Looks as if he’s dozed off at the wheel!’
Anguished, Lily strained her eyes to try and see Cosmo. He looked quite composed, very still as he drove, but he was losing speed all the time, the car following a more and more erratic course along the track.
‘Looks as if he’s had a few as well,’ the man next to them suggested. ‘Well, that’s a bit of a joke – look at that!’
By the time the lap came round again, they stood on tiptoe, straining to see if he was trailing in their wake, but this time there was no sign of Cosmo at all.
‘Dear God,’ Susan said uneasily. ‘Something’s gone badly wrong this time. Oh, I do hope he’s all right . . .’
‘He could be anywhere,’ Lily said miserably.
Not knowing what else to do, they waited among the crowd, willing Cosmo to appear. The race still had a couple more laps to go and they heard them coming round again, roaring and then receding, and still no Flyer. Then, moments later, Susan cried, ‘Oh, look – there!’
On the near side of the track at the very bottom of the slope they caught sight of the silver gleam of Flyer’s bodywork. Moving closer they saw that she had ground to a standstill alongside the bottom edge of the track.
‘She looks all right!’ Lily said, from the little she could see as they pushed their way across to her. The crowd close to the edge were all peering over at her, talking, speculating and calling out to Cosmo.
Looking down over the barrier, Lily saw that the car was slewed sideways into it, and all they could see was the back of Cosmo’s head, encased in brown leather, as he sat, slumped unconscious, over the wheel.
Chapter Sixty-Nine
Once the race was finished and the car could be dragged to safety from the track, Cosmo remained slumped over the wheel and did not surface until they had reached a place to stop at the side of the finishing straight.
Piers, Sam and Loz gathered round, then hurried beside the motor as it was trailed along. Lily and Susan went tearing down to them. There was another great to-do going on, as one car had smashed through the railings on the finishing straight and hit a spectator, but they were far too worried about Cosmo to take in fully what had happened or that a good number of people were staring at them.
Cosmo came round, fighting furiously.
‘Get off me, woman!’ he bawled at Susan. ‘Stop fussing over me! Oh, God in heaven . . .’
As he tried to get up and leave the car he seemed overcome by dizziness and sat quickly back down again, looking sick and drained.
Lily was frightened by the sight of Cosmo’s flushed face and glazed look. She realized, though, that she had seen him like this before, that perhaps there had been something terribly wrong for a long time and that he had not told them.
‘He looks terribly ill,’ Susan said, white with worry.
‘Just let me go to bed,’ Cosmo was saying, his voice full of aggression.
‘The doctor’ll come,’ Sam said, ‘but he’s seeing to the other smash . . .’
Eventually the doctor appeared, a serious-faced young man.
‘Get these people away from me!’ Cosmo roared.
‘Perhaps you could all stand back and let me examine Mr Fairford,’ the doctor said quietly. He measured Cosmo’s blood pressure, apparently asking questions. Lily could see Cosmo’s face, serious but mutinous. After some time the doctor stood up abruptly and walked over to them, his black bag in hand.
‘You’re his party?’ His voice was curt. ‘I should take him back to wherever you’re staying and let him rest. There’s no point in troubling the hospital.’
‘But what’s wrong?’ Susan asked.
‘Nothing that I can remedy,’ the doctor snapped. ‘You’d better ask him that yourself. Are you his . . . ?’
‘Mother.’ Susan’s brow was crinkled with dismay. ‘I don’t understand, Doctor. Is he seriously ill?’
‘No, he’s not. I can’t discuss a patient’s symptoms when he has expressly asked me not to. Just put him to bed and quiz him yourself. He’s a lucky man. That race could have been fatal for him or for several others.’
‘Oh yes,’ Cosmo shouted from where he was now sitting on the ground, his back against a front wheel of the Flyer. ‘Aren’t I always the lucky one?’
They all travelled back to the Pack Horse, the cosy public house where they had rooms once more, and Sam and Loz made sure Cosmo was put to bed. Lily’s room was next to his, and she told them she would keep a lookout to see that he was all right. Cosmo said he wanted to sleep, but when she looked into the room, she saw him moving restlessly, looking flushed and uncomfortable. His bed was positioned under a low, sloping roof and she was worried that he might hit his head on the beam.
Daring to go closer, she sat beside him, placing her cool palm on his forehead. He looked so young and helpless suddenly and she wanted to mother him as she had when he was tiny.
‘Darling Cozzy,’ she whispered. ‘What is the matter with you, my love?’
Cosmo opened his eyes, which filled with tears suddenly at the sight of her.
‘Oh, what is it, dear?’ Lily was really dismayed. It was so seldom that he showed any gentle emotions these days.
‘I’ve disgraced us all . . .’ He turned his head restlessly. ‘I feel so rotten . . . I can’t help it, Lily, believe me. I’ve tried . . . I’ve tried so hard . . .’
‘Tried to do what, darling?’ She took his hand, which felt very hot and dry, and leaned over to look down into his eyes.
Cosmo stared at her, and the tears began to run down his cheeks.
‘Oh, Lily, you’re the only one . . . You’re the only one I’ve ever been able to turn to. You’ve been so loyal, so patient with me . . . I’ve let everyone down.’
‘No, darling, of course you haven’t!’ She caressed his hand, as if trying to warm him and thaw the icy coldness of his self-loathing. ‘You did marvellously this morning. I know Sam and Piers were absolutely delighted with the time you made. It can’t always go right. You know you can do it, and no one’s angry with you – you were just taken poorly. It’ll be all right next time. Here, love, you look so hot – have a drink of water.’
He lifted his head to accept the glass of water, and she wiped his eyes with her handkerchief, feeling such great tenderness for him.
‘You sleep a bit more, dear. I expect you’ll wake feeling calmer.’
Once more she stroked his head and he stared up at her. Afterwards, she always blamed herself for not recognizing the utter desperation in his eyes.
‘How is he? Shall I go up?’ Susan half got to her feet when Lily went downstairs to find her. ‘I looked in earlier but he seemed to be asleep. I could take him up his food.’
It was almost time for the evening meal and the smell of roasting beef filled the lower rooms and corridors.
Lily was touched by the way Susan deferred to her over Cosmo, as if she still felt that Lily had a better understanding of how to deal with him.
‘He’s upset,’ she said, sitting beside Susan at a table. ‘About the race, I mean. He feels in the doghouse.’
‘Well, it was a shame, but if you’re ill, you’re ill.’ Susan put away her leather writing case. Lily couldn’t help wondering who she could be writing to. Susan had few people left in the world now, but for her elderly mother and her sister. ‘Does he want food?’ she asked.
‘Perhaps a bit later,’ Lily suggested. She did not think it a good moment for Susan to go up there and talk to Cosmo.
The men soon came down and they all ate a good dinner of roast beef. Though there was a subdued atmosphere round the table, Piers rallied them.
‘Come along now, do cheer up. We had a marvellous result this morning – quite a cause for celebration! Let’s raise a glass to our Flyer and to many more successes! Don’t you agree, Ironside?
Sam raised his glass. ‘The Heath Flyer. Onwards and upwards.’
Lily wondered what he thought, but he seemed surprisingly calm, almost detached from the situation, and she suddenly realized he was a man of great patience, whereas Loz was sitting at the table with a thunderous expression. Lily’s eyes met Sam’s. Both of them knew what Loz thought of Cosmo, and how angry and resentful he was about this afternoon’s race.
