by Amber Garza
“Me either.” She sighed.
“What happened?” I glanced over at her.
“He was with another girl.” A wry smile appeared on her face. “I mean, it’s not like we ever said we were exclusive, but I guess I kind of assumed we were.”
I totally understood. Hadn’t I made the same assumption about them?
“And he didn’t even seem to feel bad. It was like he was relieved or something.”
Pressing my lips together, I turned away. I was certain her assessment was correct. Justin didn’t strike me as the remorseful type, and he had seemed to want to be rid of her.
“Well, this is my building.” She paused in front of one of the girls’ buildings.
“You gonna be okay?”
She forced a tight grin. “I’ve survived a lot worse than this, trust me.”
Somehow her words didn’t make me feel any better about the situation. In fact, it made me feel worse. She didn’t deserve this kind of treatment.
“I’m sorry about Justin,” I said. “But maybe look at this as a blessing. Now you’re free to go meet someone else. Someone worthy of you.”
Her gaze locked with mine, and her lips curled upward. It was the first genuine smile I’d seen from her today. “Yeah. I’d like that.” Before I registered what was happening her arms were around my neck and she was hugging me tightly. “Thanks,” she whispered before stepping back.
“Any time,” I said.
“Hey, look. It’s Mini-Coop,” Ace’s voice stopped me cold. “And you must be Mini-Coop’s girl.”
I swiveled in the direction of Ace’s voice. He stood next to me staring at Charlotte. She giggled.
“Whoa, dude. Your chick reeks like a bar.” Ace chuckled. “Does she have to stay drunk to tolerate your sorry ass?”
I shook my head. “She’s not my girl. Just a friend.”
Charlotte’s eyes clouded over, and I felt kind of bad. I mean, it was the truth, but she’d already suffered enough rejection for one day. However, it’s not like I had a choice. I couldn’t allow Ace to think she was my girlfriend. I had a girl. London. And there was no replacing her.
“Hmmm. Well, does your girl know you’re hanging out with some drunk chick tonight?” Ace asked smugly.
My insides knotted, and I was glad Ace didn’t know London. I was sure he’d be more than happy to divulge that information to her if he did.
“Nothing’s going on, Ace. Mind your own damn business,” I snapped.
“Message received.” He held up his hands, palm sides showing. “Well, you two kids have fun.” Clucking his tongue, he walked off.
Inwardly, I groaned. That guy sure had a knack for showing up at the worst possible times. But at least he hadn’t caused any more trouble.
“You sure you’re all right?” I asked Charlotte again, in an effort to assuage some of the guilt I felt for Ace’s behavior.
“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks again.” When she spun away from me, I watched her walk inside. Once she was safely in, I yanked my phone out of my pocket. Noticing the time, my heart pinched. Realizing that I’d missed a text from London furthered my panic. There was no way I’d have time to skype her now and get all my stuff done. Glancing back at Charlotte’s building, nausea crashed over me. How the hell would I explain where I’d been all night?
The baseball field was lit up, the green grass and golden sand calling out to me. Ever since I was a child I felt most at home on a baseball field. It was the place I felt the most alive, the most like myself. I loved everything about it, from the way it smelled to the way it made my heart race. Besides, it was on the baseball field that I felt closest to my dad. If I closed my eyes, I could even imagine he was here with me, cheering me on like he did when I was little.
“I appreciate you meeting me, Parker.” Dropping my baseball bag on the ground, I reached inside and grabbed out my mitt and a ball.
“Sure. No problem.” Parker slipped on his catcher’s gear. “Nothing else going on tonight anyway.” Once he had everything on, he walked over the grass and took his position behind home plate. “Besides, I figured you could use a little practice.” Adjusting his catcher’s mask, he flashed me a wink.
I appreciated him acting as if it was a joke when we both knew it was the truth. Practice was exactly what I needed. If I didn’t get my ass in gear, I was pretty sure I’d lose my third starter slot. Ace was vying for it pretty hard, and I was playing right into his hands.
I made my way over to the pitcher’s mound while Parker crouched down. Blowing out a breath, I attempted to quiet my mind. It took a little effort to block out all the thoughts that had been swirling in my head for weeks. It didn’t help knowing that I was blowing off another skype session with London to practice right now. I had promised London we would skype tonight, but then I ran into Parker this afternoon, and when he offered to help me out I knew I had to take him up on it. London seemed understanding when I texted her about it, but I was sure she was disappointed. Hell, I was disappointed, and I was the one who made the decision. It seemed I was always letting her down lately, but there was no way around it. And I missed her like crazy, which made it even more difficult for me. Still, this was how it had to be. If I had any hope of holding on to my spot on the team, I had to push myself. I had to work hard.
“Ready?” Parker punched his fist into his mitt.
“Yeah.” I inhaled sharply through my nose and then blew out through my mouth. Then I brought my arm back, readying for the pitch. Taking aim, I released it. The ball shot from my hand and soared straight into Parker’s mitt. He closed his mitt around it and then dropped the ball into his right hand.
As he threw it back to me, he smiled. “Not bad.”
I caught it, and then subsequently threw a few more pitches.
“Where was all this the last few practices?” Parker asked.
“I guess I just haven’t really had my head in the game.”
He threw the ball back to me. “You can’t keep letting Ace get under your skin, man.”
Holding the ball in my mitt, I tucked it in close to my body. The bright lights shone on my face, causing sweat to form on my brow. With the back of my wrist I wiped it away. “He just knows how to get under my skin.”
“Clearly.”
I paused, remembering what Parker said when Ace and I almost got into a fistfight. “What happened with Ace last year?”
Parker stood up from his crouched position, and grabbing his catcher’s mask between his thumb and forefinger he flipped it up to reveal his face. “Let’s just say you’re not the first guy Ace has had an issue with.”
That wasn’t surprising to me. He seemed like the type of guy who liked to stir up trouble. Still it worried me. “What happened with the other guy?”
“Same kind of thing. Ace didn’t like him. Wanted him gone.”
My stomach twisted. “Did he get his way?”
Parker shrugged. “Sort of, I guess, but it came at a price.”
I sort of regretted having this conversation now. Knowing Ace had that kind of pull made him seem like more of a threat than I had believed him to be. “What does that mean?”
“C’mon, man. You keep thinking about Ace so much I’m going to start thinking you have a thing for him.” He shot me a grin. “Games start in a week. Let’s get down to business.” He lowered the mask over his face as if signaling the end of the conversation. Bending his knees, he lowered back down to his crouched position and held his mitt out.
I couldn’t help but grin back. Sighing, I nodded. I knew he was right, but curiosity was killing me. This time my pitch was a little off.
After lunging for it, Parker shot me a knowing glance. “The best thing you can do is get your mind off of Ace and focus on the game.”
He tossed the ball back, and I caught it. “It’s not just Ace. I’ve got a lot of stuff going on right now.”
“Ace is right about one thing,” Parker said. “This isn’t high school. You’ve gotta leave your shit off
the field.”
“I know.” I nodded, determined to do exactly as he’d said. It was time to grow up. It was time to be the man I knew I could be.
It was time to make my dad proud.
CHAPTER 17
London
I couldn’t bring myself to open the envelope.
Instead, I left it on the kitchen table. Left it there to stare at me unblinking every time I walked past. Which, let me tell you, was often. I couldn’t help myself. I skirted around, keeping my gaze fixed on it. My name called to me from where it was printed on the front. It reminded me of waiting on test results from the doctor. The expectations of others would overwhelm me, and I would find myself holding my breath in anticipation, afraid to let everyone down.
I knew Cooper was hoping I’d get accepted to Fallbrook. It had been his hope since he first left for college. Leaving me was difficult for him. At that point my health was pretty fragile, and he was worried about me. I had to practically force him to leave, and the only thing that would make him feel better was the idea that I might be joining him in a year. I’d had my doubts about going away to college. A part of me wondered if I’d be well enough to leave. Also, I was a little concerned about abandoning Dad.
My heart twisted as I glanced back down at the envelope. It felt like so many lives hinged on the letter inside. Unable to think about it any longer, I left it on the table and went to my room. Sitting on my bed, I pulled out my laptop. After opening it, I watched the screen come to life. Then I clicked into my word document and started writing.
For the next hour or so I got lost in the fictional world I’d created. I played in my imagination, not thinking about real life at all. My characters spoke loudly in my head, guiding me through their thoughts and actions. It was a rush following them in the journey, and I embraced it with all I had.
“London,” Dad’s voice interrupted me. I froze, my hands poised over the keys. When I raised my head, Dad stood in the doorway of my room smiling at me. “Hey, pumpkin. Watcha working on?”
“Oh, just doing some writing.” I shrugged, pushing the laptop off my legs.
“That’s great.” He stepped further into the room, his expression pensive. I sat up, my curiosity peeked. Usually when he got home from work he poked his head in my room, greeted me, and then went to his room to change. When he lowered himself onto the edge of my bed, my curiosity grew. “Um…” He scratched the back of his neck. “I…um…sort of want to talk to you about something.”
Raising my eyebrows, I scooted forward. “Okay.”
“I kind of…um…met someone.”
“Like a female someone?” This was new. My dad hadn’t dated at all since my mom passed away.
Biting his lip, he nodded. His cheeks were red, his eyes downcast. “We met at work.”
This was puzzling. “She’s a mechanic?”
A small chuckle escaped through his lips as if the idea of this woman being a mechanic was funny to him. “No. She’s the new receptionist.”
I didn’t remember him mentioning anything about a new receptionist. “What’s her name?”
“Lisa.” Dad lifted his head, swiveling his head in my direction. “We’re actually going on a date tonight.” Pausing, he searched my face as if gauging my reaction. “Are you okay with this? I mean, I should’ve talked to you before asking her out. It just sorta happened spontaneously. We were talking about cars one minute, and the next minute I was asking her to dinner.”
“Dad.” Laughing, I touched his shoulder. “It’s fine. Really. I’m actually glad you’re going out.”
“You are?” Relief flashed in his eyes.
“Yeah. It’s about time.”
“It’s just a date. You don’t have to worry about me trying to replace your mom or anything.”
I shook my head. “I’m almost eighteen, Dad. I’m not worried about someone sweeping in here trying to be my mom.”
He sighed. “I’m so glad you’re all right with this.”
I knit my eyebrows together. “Were you really worried I wouldn’t be?”
“When you were little you used to be so scared about me meeting someone else and replacing her.” His eyes softened, crinkling around the edges. “I promised you I’d never do that. I made a vow that it would always just be the two of us.”
My breath caught in my throat. “I don’t remember that.”
“I do.” A wistful look clouded Dad’s face. “Like it was yesterday.”
I felt sick. All this time I thought Dad was single because he had no desire to date. “Dad, I had no idea. I feel terrible. You have to know I never would’ve held you to such a promise.”
He reached for my hand, covering it with his. “I know, but I wanted to keep my promise to you. And I don’t regret it. There’s no one on this earth I’d rather spend time with than you.” Patting my hand, he stood up. “But you’re growing up.” His gaze flickered to the hallway. “Pretty soon you’ll be going away to college and moving on with your own life.”
My stomach soured. Was that why he wanted to date now? Was it because he was worried about me leaving him? “Or maybe I’ll stay here and go to Sac State.”
“You need to do what’s right for you.” Dad gave me a pointed look. “And I’ll support whatever you choose.”
I nodded as he headed toward the hallway. When he left the room I blew out a breath. Everything was changing, becoming more complicated. I supposed that’s what growing up was like. But sometimes it was difficult. I wasn’t sure what the best decision was. Grappling in my pocket, I snatched out my phone and dialed Cooper’s number. When I reached his voicemail I didn’t even bother leaving a message. Lately he’d been too busy to do more than shoot me off a quick text after practice and homework. I was sure tonight would be no different. My attempts at being the cool, understanding girlfriend were falling short the last couple of weeks. Sure, I acted cool about it when Cooper and I conversed. But inside I was starting to get angry. I hated that he never had time for me anymore. Especially when I was in the midst of planning for my future. If I went to Fallbrook it would be mainly for Cooper. And how could I choose that right now when I wasn’t even sure Cooper needed me?
A knock on the front door caught my attention. If it was last year, I’d have assumed it was Cooper. He used to show up randomly all the time. If only he could do that now. Sliding off the bed, I padded down the hallway in my bare feet. I wasn’t surprised when I opened the door to find Skyler standing on the front porch.
“What’s up?”
She groaned. “I had to escape my brothers. They’re driving me nuts.”
Giggling, I moved out of the way so she could come inside. She walked past me and then flung herself down on the couch. After closing the door, I followed suit, plopping down beside her.
“God, you’re so lucky to be an only child. There’s no one around to bug you.”
It used to bother me when Skyler would throw out statements like that. I knew she didn’t mean anything by it, but it would hurt my feelings. She never realized how fortunate she was to have a large family. As much as I loved being raised by my dad, there was always an emptiness in our house. It was like we could always feel the hole that my mom’s absence created. And as a little girl I longed for a sibling, someone to help assuage the loneliness a little. But Skyler’s brothers honestly bothered the shit out of her, so she was speaking the truth. Besides, when I really thought about it I realized that having Skyler in my life was sort of like having a sister. I nudged her. “Hey, that’s not true. I may not have a sibling, but I have you around to bug me.”
“Nice.” She stuck out her tongue at me.
I giggled. The click of dress shoes on the kitchen floor alerted us to my dad’s presence. My head bobbed up.
Skyler gasped. “Wow, what’s the occasion?”
Normally it bothered me how forward Skyler was; how she seemed to have no internal filter. But her response was justified. I’d never seen Dad so dressed up. He had on a long sleeve wh
ite shirt with navy pinstripes, khaki slacks and dress shoes. The scent of cologne lingered in the room. He must like this Lisa person a lot. A funny feeling descended in my stomach, but I shoved it away before spending any time analyzing it. This was a good thing for Dad, and I wanted to be happy for him. No, scratch that. I needed to be happy for him. He’d already sacrificed so much for me. Besides, I had someone. Shouldn’t I want the same thing for Dad?
Then again, Dad probably had more romance in his life than I did right now. Cooper and I hardly talked anymore, and when we did it was shallow and rushed. I sometimes wondered if I’d even recognize him the next time we skyped.
“Um…” Dad cleared his throat, as if uncomfortable with answering Skyler’s question. “I have a date, actually.” He said it like it was a question, surprise evident in his tone.
“Ooh, a date.” Skyler winked.
Smiling, Dad shook his head. Walking into the family room, he eyed me. “Is it too much?”
I glanced at his outfit. “No. You look really great.”
A nervous expression cloaked his features. “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.”
“I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike,” I said, and Skyler laughed.
“Let’s hope it’s not like when London rides one.” She grinned. “Then again, her klutziness did land her the hottest guy at the high school, so who knows?”
I waved away her words with a flick of my wrist. “Don’t listen to her. You’ll be fine.”
“Thanks, pumpkin.” Dad leaned over and pecked me on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
“Have fun,” I called after him as he left.
“So, this is new.” Skyler widened her eyes and cocked an eyebrow just as the engine on Dad’s car roared to life from the garage.
“Yeah,” I agreed, unsure of how else to respond.
“Who’s the chick?”
“The new receptionist at his work. Her name’s Lisa.”
Skyler tucked a strand of black hair behind her ears, her eyes sparkling. “What’s she like? Is she pretty?”
