“Sorry. I thought you were Bigfoot,” said Judy.
Stink bounced the beam back and forth between them. “Ha! You scared Judy’s pants off, Frank!”
“Not,” said Judy.
“Ya-huh! I HEARD you! You were screaming your HEAD off —”
All of a sudden, they heard a loud cracking noise, coming from the deep, dark woods. Stink looked at Judy, eyes wide. Judy looked at Stink.
“Bigfoot,” Stink dared to whisper.
“No way. That was an owl.”
Just then, an owl hooted. “THAT was an owl. Or Bigfoot pretending to BE an owl!” Stink said.
“Let’s go!”
Judy and Stink grabbed their gear and bolted for the woods. “Are you coming, Frank?” Judy asked. “It’s worth mega-mega-thrill points!”
“I, um, sure, I’d like to and everything, but um . . .” A car honked. “That’s my dad. Gotta go! Bye!”
Judy and Stink tiptoed across the backyard. They crept closer and closer to the tree line. At the edge of the woods, they stopped to listen.
“Maybe it was really WAS an owl, Stink.”
“Nuh-uh. That was HIM. I know it. Bigfoot is famous for his owl sounds. Page forty-two.” Judy and Stink craned their necks, peering into the darkness.
“You go first. I’ll hold the light,” said Judy.
“You go first. I’m filming,” said Stink, turning on the camcorder.
“Okay, Scaredy-Pants. But stay close.”
Stink clung to the back of Judy’s pj’s with one hand, filming with the other. They inched into the woods. Stink’s costume hooked onto a tree and . . . SNAP!
“WHAT WAS THAT?” Stink whispered.
“Shhhhh! You’ll scare Bigfoot!”
Judy and Stink tiptoed farther and farther into the gloom, taking shorter and shorter breaths. “Stop. Look. There!” She moved the light across a large patch of matted grass. “Is this some kind of bed or something?”
“Ye-ah. A Bigfoot bed. Page thirteen. This must be where he sleeps.”
Judy swallowed hard. “Then wh-where is he?”
“Maybe he heard us coming. He’s probably watching us right now.” Stink touched his hand to his heart. “Mr. Bigfoot? We come in peace!”
The wind whistled through the trees.
“Hello? Can you hear me?” Stink tried again.
Suddenly, a furry creature swung from a tree branch, brushing Judy’s head and bumping the camera.
“AHHHHHHHH!” Judy and Stink dropped everything and ran, screaming, out of the woods. They ran across the creek, over the lawn, up the back steps, through the kitchen, up the stairs, and straight into Judy’s room.
SLAM! Their screaming didn’t stop until they were both huddled under the covers on Judy’s bottom bunk. Judy scooped up Mouse and held him tight.
“And then,” Stink told Aunt Opal the next morning, “we got so scared, we ran out of the woods and all the way upstairs and I had a sleepover in Judy’s room.”
“Aunt Opal, you missed it! You slept through the whole thing.”
“Good thing I filmed it,” said Stink. “There! See? That’s his bed!”
“Are you sure?” asked Opal. “It looks like woods to me.”
“He was there — I know it! Ask Judy.”
“All I know is I got a possum hairbrush and ZERO thrill points.”
Aunt Opal smiled. “Well, don’t give up, you two. It can take years to catch a monster.”
“Years?” said Judy. “I need thrill points A-S-A-P, as in N-O-W.” All of a sudden, Judy stared out the window. Dogs started barking and howling.
Right there, before her very own eyes, in front of her very own house, a tall, furry gorilla creature with enormous feet dashed down the sidewalk! A pack of howling dogs nipped at his heels.
“Code Bigfoot!” yelled Stink. “After him!”
In a blur they all scrambled for the door. “After him! Go-go-go-go-go!” Judy yelled. Judy, Stink, and Opal tore down the street after him.
Bigfoot and the dogs turned the corner. “We have to catch him before he gets to Main Street! Cars will drive him cuckoo! Page twelve!” Stink shouted.
Tingalinga, ding! Ding! Ding!
Stink, Judy, and Opal screeched to a stop. She, Judy Moody, could not believe her eyes. The ice-cream truck had stopped at a red light. Bigfoot was waving his arms, flagging it down. He hopped right onto the ice-cream truck, barely escaping the yowling, howling dogs.
“Did you see that? Bigfoot hijacked the ice-cream truck!” Stink yelled.
“We’ll never catch him now,” said Judy as the truck pulled away.
“Never say never,” said Opal as Jessica Finch rode by on her bike. Opal threw up her hand. “STOP!”
Jessica slammed on her brakes, squealing to a stop.
“I’m afraid we need this bike,” said Opal. “It’s an emergency.”
“Who are YOU?” Jessica Finch asked.
“I’m, uh, Special Agent for the Apprehension of Large Unidentified Creatures. We need this bicycle for the chase.” Stunned, Jessica stepped off her bike.
“Get on!” Opal yelled. Judy hopped on the handlebars; Stink jumped on the back. Pedaling madly, Opal steered the bike across the street, up over the sidewalk, and into someone’s front yard, knocking over a yard gnome.
“Woo-hoo!” Judy yelled as they flew through flapping laundry, swerved past a barking dog, and tripped a sprinkler system. WHOOSH! A spray of water rained down on them.
“Awesome! No bath tonight!” Stink whooped. Just as they reached the street, they caught sight of the ice-cream truck again.
“We’ve got him now!” Opal yelled. She poured it on, but the road turned into a steep hill. Huffing and puffing, she stood up on the pedals, groaning with every push. The bike wobbled and swerved.
“Ditch!” Judy yelled, and they all tumbled off the bike. All three of them ran, reaching out for a handhold, but the truck passed them by.
“Back on the bike!” Judy yelled.
Honk. HONK, HONK, HONK! Crr-UNCH! Just then, a van screeched its brakes as its big tires ran over Jessica’s bike. The Birnbaums!
“It’s Rose and Herb, from my Bigfoot club!” called Stink.
“We got a report! Bigfoot’s in —” Herb started.
“— the ice-cream truck. We know!” yelled Stink.
“Get in! Get in!” Herb urged. Opal piled in after Judy and Stink.
“Buckle up, everyone,” called Rose, taking off like a bat out of Transylvania.
Herb squawked into his CB radio. “This is Herb Birnbaum, reporting a runaway man-gorilla known as Bigfoot who just hijacked an ice-cream truck —”
“LEFT! Go left!” Judy and Stink yelled.
Rose screeched left. “I think I see the truck!” said Opal, pointing.
“Faster!” Judy yelled.
Rose hit the gas. The needle ticked up, up, up. Forty, fifty, sixty . . .
“I have to tell you, this is my first official car chase,” said Opal.
“Really? We get in two or three of these a week,” said Rose.
“There it is. Right in front of us!” Stink yelled.
All of a sudden, a cloud of ice-cream wrappers flew off the truck, splatting all over the windshield. “It’s raining ice cream!” Stink called.
“It’s a cloaking device!” Judy said. “Just like in the movies!”
Rose hit the spray and wipers, then punched the gas. Out of nowhere, the WH20 NewsBeat van veered in front of them.
Rose hit the brakes.
“WHOAAAAAAA!” Judy said. “This is like the Scream Monster.”
“Minus the puke,” Stink teased.
“Follow that van!” Herb ordered.
Rose floored it. She tore down a side street after the news van, which was zooming after the ice-cream truck. “Shortcut!” she yelled. Rose skidded and bumped crazy-fast across a soccer field.
Ka-bump! Ka-bump! She zoomed through a parking lot full of speed bumps. The van veered out of the lot.
Rose zoomed off, still hot on the trail.
The ice-cream truck and news van turned into an old parking lot. The Birnbaums’ van roared through a neatly clipped hedge and screeched to a stop.
When the cloud of dust settled, Judy looked around. “Hey, look! It’s the Poop Picnic place!”
“Larkspur Pier?” asked Aunt Opal. “How’d that happen?”
Judy and Stink leaped out of the van and raced toward the ice-cream truck. Hot on their heels were the cameraman and the newscaster. As they got closer, Judy put her finger to her lips. “SHHHHHHH!”
They crept alongside the truck. Judy gasped. “Mr. TODD?”
Mr. Todd smiled a big smile when he saw her. “Judy Moody! Long time no see! I was hoping I’d see you —”
“Yeah, because we’re saving you from —”
“BIGFOOT!” said Stink.
Bigfoot stepped out of the truck! Everyone gasped. Bigfoot grabbed his head and popped it off.
“ZEKE!” Judy and Stink shrieked at the same time.
Aunt Opal and Rose came running over, all out of breath. Judy and Stink started talking at the same time.
“It’s my teacher!”
“It’s Zeke!”
“I can’t believe he’s the ice-cream guy!”
“Since when are you Bigfoot?”
The newscaster waved to the cameraman. “A madcap ride through town has led us to this old pier, where Bigfoot appears to be nothing more than a teenager, wearing some kind of hairy costume!”
Mr. Todd shook hands with Opal. “Hi. Mr. Todd. I’m Judy’s teacher, when I’m not being the ice-cream man, that is.”
“So you’re the World’s Greatest Teacher,” said Aunt Opal. “Nice to meet you finally. I’m Opal Moody. Judy’s aunt. When I’m not in pursuit of runaway ice-cream trucks, that is.” Everybody cracked up.
“And this is Bigfoot,” said Mr. Todd. “You all know Zeke. I thought with all the Bigfoot fever around here this summer, it would be fun to get in on the action. I heard about the Bigfoot Club, and went and met Zeke. He came up with a costume, and I hired him to help me sell ice cream today.”
“Zeke, why didn’t you tell me?” Stink asked.
“Chill, dude! I just got the job. I only met the Todd-ster this morning!”
Judy swatted Stink on the arm. “Stink, why didn’t YOU tell ME that Mr. Todd was the ice-cream man? I’ve been looking for him ALL SUMMER!”
Stink shrugged. “How was I supposed to know?”
The newscaster spoke into the mike. “Today’s sightings have been much ado about nothing, but two questions remain. Is the real Bigfoot still at large? And, will he show up for the circus?”
“The circus? Wait! What? Today?” Judy asked.
For the first time, she noticed a huge, striped tent beyond the old Ferris wheel. The pier was all dressed up with banners and balloons.
“Yup! It’s today, all right,” said Mr. Todd. “And you get a prize for finding me, remember? Front-row seats!”
Judy beamed. “Wow, thanks a million! Was I the first one to find you?”
Mr. Todd’s eyes twinkled. “Not exactly . . .”
Opal, Stink, and Judy took their seats in the VIP row, next to a bunch of kids from Judy’s class. Judy sat next to Frank Pearl.
“Hey, thanks for getting me a ticket to the circus,” Frank said to Judy.
“I owe you,” said Judy. “Sorry I was such a fun mop.”
“Sponge.”
“Mop. Sponge. Rag. Whatever. Want some?” Judy held out her cotton candy to Frank. He made a yuck face.
A hairy gorilla hand grabbed a chunk. “Big-foot hun-gry,” said Zeke.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo! A trumpet blared. The ringmaster came onto the stage, leading circus stars atop horses and baby elephants. The kids from circus camp, dressed as clowns, were sweeping up behind the elephants.
“Hey, look — there he is! Rocky! And he’s sweeping ELEPHANT POOP! Ha! I knew it!” Judy said. “Hey, Rock! It’s me!”
Rocky was dressed in a funny tuxedo and top hat. He waved at Judy. While the clowns did handsprings on the mat, Rocky walked over to a fancy box.
“Do we have a volunteer from the audience?” the ringmaster bellowed. “Someone brave enough to get sawed in half?”
Judy was out of her seat in a flash, waggling her arm. Rocky whispered to the ringmaster. He pointed his whip at Judy.
“Yay!” She raced into the ring. Rocky opened the box, motioning her in.
“Hey, Judy!” he said, grinning.
“Hey, Rock. I missed you.”
Rocky latched the door. Then he and the ringmaster lifted the box onto sawhorses. Rocky put his saw to the box and started sawing. ZZZzzzz-ZZZzzzz!
Abracadabra! She, Judy Moody, was sawed in half. Amazing! Then, presto change-o, she was put back together again in no time.
RARE times two!
On a perfect summer evening, a week before school started, when even the mosquitoes weren’t biting, Rocky put on a backyard circus for the Moodys. Rocky was wearing his I WENT TO CIRCUS CAMP T-shirt, and Amy sported an I WENT TO BORNEO tee. Frank had on a ZOMBIES ARE UNDEAD shirt.
For the umpteenth time in the last ten days, Rocky said, “And now, before your very eyes, the one and only Judy Moody will be sawed in half.”
Judy held up the hand with her mood ring. Blue-green. Relaxed, Calm.
“Can I be next?” asked Stink.
Rocky sawed through the middle of the magic box. Judy screamed, kicking her feet wildly. Rocky pushed the two pieces apart until it looked like Judy had been cut in two.
“Ta-da!” said Rocky. Everybody cheered, clapped, and whistled.
“Make sure you put her back!” said Dad.
“Yes,” said Mom. “We only just got home!”
“Wow, Rock. That is worth MEGA POINTS!” said Amy.
Rocky pushed the pieces back together. He opened the lid. Judy sat up, in one piece, revealing her handmade I WENT ON A POOP PICNIC! T-shirt.
She climbed out of the box. “Don’t rub it in, okay? Just ’cause YOU guys beat the pants off me and won the race . . .”
Opal smiled, motioning Judy over. She whispered to Mom and Dad, “Can I borrow Judy for a few minutes? I promise I’ll bring her back in ONE piece.”
Opal led Judy to the driveway, where she handed her a helmet. They hopped on Zeke’s black Vespa and she kick-started the engine with a loud vroom! Judy held on to Aunt Opal as they peeled out into the dark night.
“Are you sure you can drive one of these?” Judy asked.
“Duh! I drove one of these across the Sahara! How do you think I got Zeke to let me borrow it?”
Opal zipped through Judy’s neighborhood, down Main Street, and turned a corner. Pulling up alongside the Mary Louise Shipman Public Library, she cut the engine. “C’mon,” Aunt Opal whispered, stepping off the Vespa. She grabbed a package wrapped in newspaper strapped to the back. “We have to be quick.”
Two stern-looking stone lions flanked the front steps. “These guys are WAY too serious, don’t you think?” Opal asked. She unwrapped the newspaper and out came the two garbage-can hats, good as new.
“Wow! You fixed them!” Judy cried. She rushed over to place the hats on the lions.
“Yup! Which means you NOW have . . . drumroll, please . . . TEN thrill points for guerilla art!”
“I did it! FINALLY!” Judy held out her hand. “Look, Aunt Opal, my mood ring’s purple.”
“Don’t tell me. Purple means Joyful, On Top of the World.”
“You knew!”
“Yup. So,” Opal said, “it’s probably a good thing you didn’t spend the summer in your room.”
“For sure and absolute positive. I wouldn’t have walked on a tightrope, or ridden the Scream Monster, or gone on a scary midnight stakeout . . .”
“Or had a poop picnic,” Opal added. Judy and Aunt Opal cracked up.
“OR found Mr. Todd, OR been in a car chase, OR gotten sawed in half at the circus, OR . . . spent
the best summer ever . . . with you.”
Opal wrapped an arm around Judy as they headed back to the Vespa.
“I have an idea,” said Judy. “How about you don’t leave tomorrow? How ’bout you live with us?”
Aunt Opal gave Judy a hug. “I can’t. But I’m so going to miss you,” she told Judy. “You know what, though? Next summer, I’m thinking of wrapping the Eiffel Tower in ten thousand scarves. Wanna help me?”
“You mean it? For real? That would be on-top-of-SPAGHETTI rare! Not to mention a gazillion thrill —”
Suddenly, Judy’s eyes grew wide. In a sideview mirror of the Vespa, she could see a shaggy, shadowy figure step out of the woods and into a patch of light from a street lamp. Was it? Could it be? Maybe it was just a tall guy with a sweater down to his knees?
Or was it . . . ?
“Aunt Opal!” Judy whispered urgently. “In the mirror! Look! LOOK!”
Aunt Opal peered at the mirror. “I don’t see anything. Just the leaves of those bushes are shaking, like somebody just cut through there or something.”
“Exactly,” Judy half whispered.
The next morning, Judy heard a toot toot and looked out the upstairs window. Dad was strapping an enormous suitcase to the top of a taxi.
Judy raced down the stairs as fast as she could. Everybody was hugging and laughing and crying, and Stink was hanging on to Aunt Opal’s leg for dear life.
“I’m never letting go,” said Stink. Opal climbed into the cab. Stink ran over to the Bigfoot statue.
“Paris. Next summer. Be there!” she said to Judy. Opal leaned out the window, waving madly, as the cab moved down the street.
“Love you! Bye!” Aunt Opal called.
“Love you back! See you next summer!” Judy sighed and walked over to the Bigfoot statue. Stink was taping a sign onto a card table: TOUCH BIGFOOT! 50 CENTS!
“Fifty cents to touch a piece of shaggy old carpet? Are you nuts?”
“Uh-humm.” A throat cleared. “Do you have change for a dollar?”
Judy turned. It was Jessica Finch, on her half-pink bike. The other half was bent, and stickers and glitter covered the scratches. She held out a dollar.
Stink grabbed it. “Sure!”
Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer Page 5
