James hung his head with modesty and remained silent.
Mrs. Martin smiled and patted him on the cheek, urging him to continue on to Lucy’s room. They shut the door behind him, and they could hear the soft whisperings of one love to another. Thatcher smiled, rising from his chair in the hallway.
“Are you going to stay for supper, Thatcher?” Mrs. Martin said, turning to him. “You’re more than welcome to join us.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Thatcher said, nodding his head to her. “I got some things to take care of in town first, but I’d be mighty grateful for it.”
She smiled. “Alright, we’ll make sure to have a plate for you.”
He nodded and looked to Mr. Martin as the man spoke. “Thanks to you, too, Thatcher, for coming here with James. He looks up to you a lot, you know.”
Now it was Thatcher’s turn to hang his head. There was no way James looked up to his coward of an older brother. But he said, “Thank you, sir,” anyway.
That late afternoon, Thatcher rode through town looking straight ahead as he travelled down the busy road, much busier than Thundercreek’s. Women, both old and young, looked to Thatcher from each side, but he didn’t notice, too preoccupied with dimples and blue eyes that kept popping up in his memory.
After tying his horse to the hitching post, he walked into the general store, his boots sliding against the wooden floor. Immediately, a young woman came up to him, saying with a more than cheerful voice, “Hi there, can I help you with anything?”
Thatcher produced a paper from his pocket that held a list of provisions he and James would need in order to go back to Thundercreek. His stomach churned as he thought for the first time, I won’t be goin’ back to Thundercreek once James is married. Nor would he be seeing Emma Marchant. The thought made the blood rush from his head.
“Sir?” the young woman asked, looking worried.
“Sorry,” he said, blue eyes continuing to haunt his soul. “Yes, I just need a few things.”
“I’ll be happy to get them for you,” she said with a wink, turning around to gather his provisions. Thatcher fought the urge to scowl. The young woman was pretty, and he used to enjoy the affect he had on girls like her, even though he never pursued any of them, but the thought made him feel sick. He didn’t want to flirt with anyone else but…but Emma.
The realization caught him off-guard. He didn’t want to flirt with anyone else, see anyone else, or even be with anyone else. Only Emma. Fear crept into his mind, but he couldn’t deny the feeling of desire he had for the woman, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That woman was everything he wanted and more, and she was nothing like his mother was. So why couldn’t he just escape the fears that held him back and go claim her for his own?
The girl soon returned with a crate of provisions, smiling flirtatiously at Thatcher, but he didn’t give her a second glance, paying and then leaving the general store with a heavy heart and mind.
The evening progressed, and Thatcher ate supper with Mr. and Mrs. Martin while James ate in Lucy’s room. Afterwards, they adjourned to the parlor, chatting comfortably until James barged in.
“Mr. Martin, Mrs. Martin,” James said, looking them both in the eye. “I know this is sudden, and I know it ain’t romantic or nothin’, but I need to marry your daughter. And I’d like to ask permission to marry her within the week.”
Thatcher’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but his mouth spread in a wide grin. Trust James to throw them all for a loop.
“Why, James,” Mrs. Martin said, worry in her eyes as she exchanged glances with her husband, “don’t you want to wait and have your father there? And in a nice chapel and everything?”
“That’s what we’d planned, but talkin’ over and thinkin’ on it, we just don’t want to wait. I can’t handle it any longer. Her bein’ sick has made it more real to me, and I don’t want to spend another day without Lucy as my wife.”
Mrs. Martin smiled as she nodded her head with understanding and consent. She looked to her husband for his response.
“Well, if Lucy is okay with it, I don’t see why not,” he said, his beard poking out at all angles as his smile broadened.
James beamed, exclaiming, “Thank you! Thank you so much! I have to tell Lucy!”
He ran from the room, and they laughed at his excitement, hearing his footsteps charge up the stairs. Thatcher couldn’t help but feel joy for his younger brother. It had been a long enough engagement between the two, and he was glad to finally see it come to marriage.
***
Emma bounced Mae in her arms, smiling big and talking in a high voice to try to get her niece to smile back at her.
“No matter how many faces you pull, sis,” Seth said as he walked into the room behind her, “I don’t think she’s goin’ to smile at you.”
Emma rolled her eyes at his smirk and sighed, exasperated. “Oh, Seth, hush up. I’ll make her smile at me ’fore she does you.”
“Sorry to say, but she’s already smiled at her papa,” he said, coming over to Emma and standing behind her while he looked down into his daughter’s face. “Isn’t that right, Mae?”
He made a big grinning face, and instantly Mae’s face lit up. Emma was surprised as she saw the little grin that looked just like Seth’s, only toothless. “Told you,” he said, reaching for his daughter.
Emma could only smile as he took the baby in his arms and continued to make silly faces. But as soon as her joy came, sadness threatened to destroy it as she thought of Thatcher’s absence.
“You thinkin’ ’bout Thatcher again, Em?” she heard her brother ask and looked to him in surprise.
“What do you mean?” She tried to sound nonchalant.
“Oh don’t play your games with me. I know you, Emma,” he said, patting Mae as she lay against his chest. “And I know how much you’re missin’ your Thatcher.”
She couldn’t deny it, not even if she wanted to. “I just can’t help but wonder if he’s alright. And James and Lucy, too, ’course.”
“I’m sure their just fine, Emma,” he assured her. “You just have to be patient. They’ll return soon enough.”
But that was exactly what Emma worried about. Would Thatcher return when Lucy came into the picture? Had Emma become important to him as he had to her, enough to make him stay?
“Emma,” Seth said, and she looked up to see understanding in his eyes. “You don’t need to worry. Thatcher’ll come back, too.”
Perhaps she should try to veil her emotions a bit more. She wanted to believe it, but her doubts were strong. “I’m not worryin’ ’bout that.”
“Sure you ain’t,” Seth said, pacing the room to rock Mae to sleep. “Just like I ain’t a father now.”
Smiling, Emma rolled her eyes. “How do you know he’ll come back? Hmm?”
“I just know.” His smile widened. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. There’s no way he’ll be able to keep away for much longer.”
Her heart longed to believe her brother’s words. How wonderful it would be to have Thatcher return to her because he couldn’t bear to be away any longer! She shook her head, knowing it was just a silly wish. “No, I’m sure he’s just fine where he’s at.”
“Mark my words, sis,” he said with a knowing grin. “He’ll come back for you, and you better be prepared with an answer when he does.”
“An answer to what?” she asked, curious.
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out sooner or later,” he said, walking from the room with Mae in his arms.
Emma’s brows drew together, but she shrugged off her brother’s insinuations and instead walked to the window. The rain was pouring from the skies, droplets splattering the window and running down the glass, eventually dripping into the mud next to the house. She longed to ride her horse or walk to the river, but she knew she’d catch a cold going out in weather like that. Besides, it had been raining for quite a few days, and she knew the river would be at a high level. It would be best to stay away
from the danger altogether.
Yet, still, she longed to have the comfort of speaking aloud about her concerns before she drove herself insane with worry over not seeing Thatcher again, and the question that Seth had alluded to before.
***
“You look great, James,” Thatcher said as he watched his brother smooth his vest across his chest. “Now quit festerin’ in front of that mirror and put your boots on ’fore you have to go.”
James nodded and walked briskly to his boots, only to walk back to the mirror after putting them on. “Alright, I think I’m ’bout ready.”
Thatcher smiled, walking up to his brother to slap him on the back. “You are ready, James.” He tried to smile, but a sadness in his heart made it forced.
His brother stopped fidgeting and looked to him. “You alright there, Thatcher?”
“’Course,” he said, nodding.
“What’re you thinkin’?”
Thatcher knew he wasn’t going to get out of it, knew James could read him like an open book, but there was no harm in trying. “I’m just real happy for you, James. That’s all.”
James smiled. “Don’t worry. Soon enough it’ll be your turn to do this, and I’ll be able to laugh at you for bein’ high strung.”
Thatcher smiled sadly. He didn’t want to damper his brother’s big day, but he couldn’t help but say, “Maybe someday. I just don’t know for sure, though.”
“Why don’t you know?”
Thatcher walked away, shaking his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just…I just don’t understand it, James. That’s all.”
“What don’t you understand?”
“A lot of things,” he replied, plopping down onto a chair next to the door.
“Like what, Thatch?” his brother prodded.
Thatcher took a deep breath. “I don’t get how you can just let go of what Mama did and get married. Ain’t you scared at all?”
James laughed, and Thatcher whipped his head up to see his smile. “Well, why are you laughin’ at me?” he questioned, embarrassed that he’d opened up to his brother.
“I ain’t laughin’ at you, Thatcher,” James responded, walking closer to him. “I just think it’s obvious how absolutely terrified I am.”
Thatcher looked at him suspiciously. “Really? You’re scared?”
“’Course I am!” James said, throwing his arms out. “I’m more scared of gettin’ married than anythin’ I’ve ever done!”
Thatcher couldn’t believe it. If James was so scared, why on earth was he going through with it? James continued before Thatcher could question him. “But it don’t matter that I’m scared out of my wits.”
“Why not? What’s so important that makes you just forget about what Mama did to us?” Thatcher worried for his own brother’s life just as much as he did for his own. He knew Lucy was a sweet girl, but maybe his mother had been, too.
“I love her, Thatcher,” James said softly, his eyebrows pulled up, showing the emotion he was feeling. “That’s why.”
Thatcher was taken aback by his answer. He knew James loved her, but the conviction with which he said it and the look in his eyes pierced his heart to the core. Still, doubt and fear clouded his thoughts. “But ain’t you worried ’bout her changin’?”
James immediately shook his head. “Absolutely not. ’Course I’ve thought of it before, but once I realized how much I love her, it didn’t really matter anymore.”
“But how?” Thatcher said, desperate for the answer to quell his aching soul. “How are you able to just not worry ’bout what’ll happen?”
“I just don’t think on it,” came James’s simple answer with a shrug. “I was tired of livin’ my life in fear, worryin’ that I’d be in our father’s position. I used to tell myself that I would never marry.”
Thatcher nodded his head, understanding where he was coming from, but still surprised. He had no idea his brother had felt the same way he did.
“And then I met Lucy.” His eyes took a faraway look, his mouth turning up in a smile. “And all my worries disappeared. I was afraid for a while, but then I looked to all the things Lucy is and all the good she’s done in her life and will continue to do, and I realized she isn’t like what Mama was at all. I don’t remember her ever sayin’ she loved us, not even to her own husband. I don’t even think I could tell you what her smile looked like.”
“Me either,” Thatcher said, somber. Their mother had never done any of the things she should have as a parent. She never paid attention to them, never smiled to reveal her dimples, never sung to them when they were children by the window with the moonlight shining down on her white nightgown. His heartbeat quickened, his load seeming lighter.
“And after I realized Lucy wasn’t like Mama, I took the plunge, gave up my worries, and realized that I love that girl more than my own life. And I’d do anythin’ to be with her.”
Thatcher watched as James’s eyes filled with tears. His happiness for his brother increased, and he realized how James had become at peace with his decision. How he wanted to feel the same way! He stood, slapping his brother on the back as they embraced. “I’m real happy for you, James,” he said.
James pulled back after a moment, clasping Thatcher’s shoulders. “Now you do the same thing I did, Thatcher. You look at all that Emma Marchant has done for you, all she’ll continue to do for you, and you compare that to Mama.”
Thatcher’s mind threatened to overload with constant thoughts moving in and out. He knew Emma wasn’t like their mother in the slightest, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t change. Could he just let go of his fears like James had done? Risk his entire life for the sake of being with the woman? Was it worth his own life?
“Think of how you feel about her, Thatcher,” James said, a soft smile across his face, “and you won’t be worryin’ for much longer. You’ll know what to do as soon as you let go of that fear.”
Thatcher returned his brother’s smile and nodded his head, praying James was speaking the truth.
A knock came at the door, and Thatcher looked to see James beaming, the previous conversation now completely lost to him. Mrs. Martin entered the room, smiling just as wide. “She’s ready for you,” she said, winking at James.
He nodded his head, taking a deep breath.
“You ready for this?” Thatcher asked, already knowing the answer.
“Absolutely,” James replied. And with that, they walked out the door.
The ceremony was beautiful, no one happier than James when Lucy finally walked through the door, a simple, white wedding dress, her mother’s, decorating her weak body. Thatcher admired his new sister and was proud of James for snagging such a blonde beauty for himself.
Lucy was barely strong enough to walk, her arm threaded through her father’s until she reached James. She sat in the chair that had been placed next to James beforehand and reached up to hold his hand. Her smile had no sign of the fatigue she sure enough felt, and she beamed from ear to ear.
How happy they both looked. Thatcher was thrilled to be there with his brother, proud to witness the joyous occasion of their union, but as he watched the way James stared at Lucy, love apparent in his eyes, his mind was suddenly opened.
Yes. Yes, his life was worth losing. Especially for the sake of Emma Marchant! He had never before known a woman so kind, sweet, and gentle, yet full of a secret vivacity that she only revealed to those closest to her: her family…and himself. His heart soared as he thought of the way she stood up for him, of the way her blue eyes always seemed to light up when he looked at her, of the way her dimples appeared when he flirted, kissed, or hugged her. What a beauty she was! What an absolute wonderful woman he had come in contact with. And how he loved her!
He felt the overwhelming desire to be with her, to be with the love of his life, and to find out if she would have him still. But was it too late? Had he destroyed any relationship they could further develop by his abrupt departure and rude behavior, his shunning
her and pushing her away? Would she even want to speak with him?
And then, his questions were answered as he saw Lucy looking into James’s eyes. He had seen that look so many times before, but he hadn’t known what it meant until that moment. Lucy’s eyes were filled with overpowering love for the man she was looking at, and Thatcher had seen that same look in Emma’s eyes as she stared at him. His heart flipped. Was it true? Did Emma really have those feelings for him? He knew she wouldn’t be kissing him the way she did, wouldn’t be defending him or talking to him the way she did, if she didn’t feel something for him!
The ceremony ended, and Thatcher became anxious. He needed to see her! He had to find out if he still had a chance!
His fingers tapped nervously on his leg as he waited for his turn to congratulate the bride and groom. As Lucy’s parents stepped back, Thatcher moved forward, trying to focus on the newlyweds rather than on how soon he could see Emma.
“Congratulations, little brother,” Thatcher said, slapping James soundly on the back as he hugged him.
He pulled back and smiled at Lucy, who was standing propped up by James’s strong arm around her waist. “Welcome to the family, sis!”
Lucy laughed softly. “Thank you, Thatcher,” she said. “It’s good to finally have it happen!”
The group laughed, and James kissed her on the cheek, the couple staring at each other with complete stars in their eyes.
Thatcher wanted to tell James, Lucy, and the whole world about the realization he had of his love for Emma, but he didn’t want to take the attention away from their big day.
“I’m real happy for you both,” Thatcher said with a genuine joy for their love.
“We’re glad you could be with us for it,” Lucy said.
Soon, the small wedding party moved to the dining area, and Thatcher smiled. James and Lucy couldn’t take their eyes off each other.
Visions of himself and Emma looking the same way made his heart flip, and he prayed that the celebrations would end quickly, for as soon as they did, he would be on his horse and headed to Thundercreek to see if his love would still have him.
A Secret Fire (Western Historical Romance) Page 19
