by Jamie Begley
“Can I carry the bag?”
Dustin zipped the bag, hefting it onto his shoulder. “You better let me carry it this time. We don’t want to break the marshmallows,” Dustin teased his excited son.
“You can’t break marshmallows,” he said, running around the couch to open the door for him.
“Whoa! Tell everyone good night. You won’t be seeing them until tomorrow afternoon.”
Dustin indulgently watched as Logan ran to give Holly a hug and a kiss before going to Greer, who was sitting on a chair in the living room, holding Rosie.
“Bye, Uncle Greer.” Logan gave Greer a big smile before bending down to give Rosie a kiss and a hug.
“Have fun, young’un. Don’t get lost.”
“I won’t. I’m all grown up now,” Logan bragged, puffing his chest out before his excitement got the better of him again. “Can we go now, Dad?”
“Let’s hit the road, Jack.” Dustin opened the door as Logan sprinted out.
“My name’s not Jack, and we’re not driving,” Logan shot back as Dustin closed the door behind them.
“Let’s not be technical.”
“What does that mean?”
“That I was just teasing you.”
“Oh.”
Dustin grabbed the two lanterns that he left on the porch before following Logan, who was running ahead of him. Keeping him within his sight, he didn’t try to tell him to slow down, letting him run some of his energy off.
Logan beat him to the spot where they would be sleeping that night. It was heavily wooded but in a flat area that they could put a tent up and start a fire without having to worry about catching the branches on fire.
“Can we go get Jessie?”
“Let’s set the tent up and get the fire pit ready, then we will.”
Dustin dropped the canvas bag to the ground then unzipped it. Setting several items aside, he took out the tent and let Logan help him put it together. If it were just him and Logan, he wouldn’t have bothered with a tent, but he thought that Jessie would be more comfortable with it after her terrifying experience.
He wasn’t surprised she agreed to go camping with him and Logan. Jessie had always been a fighter. She had faced fierce opposition from her brothers when she opened the daycare. Even as a child, she’d had the guts to try some things that he had been wary of. She even braved making a fool out of herself and enduring her brothers’ anger when she bid on him at the auction. The little girl turned into a woman that he was in awe of had survived that nightmare experience.
He hadn’t made a few mistakes with Jessie. He had made a gigantic one. It had been easier to give in to his pa’s demands to stay away from anyone with the Hayes’ last name than to oppose him. He hadn’t wanted Jessie to grow to hate him because of that, yet he failed. She hated him despite loving him, and he couldn’t blame her.
He was guilty of everything that she’d thrown in his face, and he couldn’t bring himself to make excuses when she had been hurt because he ignored the place she held in his heart.
Jessie hadn’t stolen his heart when he was just a boy. He had willingly handed it over.
“What’s wrong? Are we doing it wrong?” Logan’s question broke into his thoughts.
“No. Why?”
“You looked sad. I don’t need to help if you don’t want me to.”
Giving him a gentle smile, Dustin shook his head. “I was just thinking about something.” Raising the tent, he tied it down.
“About what?” Seeing they were done with the tent, Logan began gathering large rocks.
“Jessie.”
“You like Miss Jessie a lot, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I like her, too.”
“I’m glad.” Dustin picked up several rocks around the area that Logan was ignoring.
“Are you going to marry her?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Jessie doesn’t like me, and I can’t blame her.”
“I don’t think Darcy likes me either. What are we going to do?”
“You’re not going to do anything.” Seeing Logan’s disappointment, he clarified, “At least until you’re older.”
“How old?”
“Fifty works for me,” Dustin said, trying to keep a straight face.
“Dad!”
“All right, thirty. But that’s my final word.” Gathering an armful of sticks, he dumped them into the finished firepit.
Logan regarded him suspiciously, as if deciding whether he was serious or not. “Can we go get Miss Jessie now?”
Laughing, he tousled Logan’s hair. His cousin Drake was going to be lucky if Logan didn’t come calling when Drake let her start dating.
“Yes, grab a lantern.”
Dustin let Logan lead the way to Jessie’s house, his longer strides easily keeping up.
Jessie came outside at Logan’s knock, a backpack in her hand.
Dustin gave her the lantern he was carrying and a smile at her searching look.
Listening to Logan talk to Jessie about his day and the thoughtful way she listened without interrupting him brought an ache of emptiness at the fact that he had lost so many opportunities with her.
At the campsite, he started the fire as Logan opened the ice chest he had carried there before going back to get Logan and the tent.
Dustin let Logan poke the sticks through the hot dog.
“Be careful not to burn it,” Logan cautioned Jessie, as if he were an expert at cooking over a campfire.
“I’ll be careful,” Jessie said, twirling the stick over the fire.
“Dad always burns his. I’m better. That’s why he lets me do his.”
“Do you and your dad go camping a lot?”
“Yes, we love camping. Do you?”
“I’ve never been before.”
Dustin stretched his legs, watching the firelight play on Jessie’s hair.
Her earnest expression made Logan feel special for having her attention on him.
Since Rosie’s birth, Logan had had to share the adults’ attentions, which was why he started taking Logan camping more often. He even let Holly and Greer take him to the state fair and parks while keeping Rosie for them, so that his bond with Holly wouldn’t be broken. To Holly, Logan would always be her son, and she wanted to make sure that, no matter how many children she and Greer had, he would always be just as important to her.
“Why not?”
“I always chicken out at the last minute.”
Dustin could see her looking at him from underneath her lashes.
“You came with us because you know we’ll keep you safe?” Logan’s face filled with pride before he raised the hot dogs out of the fire.
“Of course. Who would try to jump out and scare me with two strong men to protect me?”
Logan’s eyes darted to the bushes around them. “There ain’t. No one’s out here but us.”
“Did you know that little green men live in Kentucky?” Jessie took a big bite out her hot dog, prolonging Logan’s curiosity that had him warily looking toward the bushes again.
“Jess, behave,” Dustin admonished her, trying to keep from laughing.
“It’s not me who you need to worry about behaving.” Her voice went so low that Logan had to scoot closer to her. “It’s the little green men.”
“What do they look like?” Wide-eyed, Logan sat in suspense.
“Some are about your height, but I’ve heard tell that some are smaller. I think some are children.”
“And they’re green?”
“Yep, or … that’s what I’ve been told,” she whispered. “Holt and Asher think they’re goblins. You know what I think?”
“That you’re pulling his leg the way you did mine when I was his age?” Dustin reached for the hot dogs to make himself another one.
“I’m not pulling his leg!” Jessie haughtily reached for her backpack. Unzipping it, she took out a folded newspaper that Dustin recognized from
his childhood. “There were sightings in Hopkinsville, but when the police showed up, they were gone.”
“Dad, where’s Hopkinsville?”
“Not close.”
Logan directed his attention back to Jessie. “What do you think they are?”
“I think they’re aliens and used their spacecraft to hide from the police and the people who saw them.”
Awestruck, Logan jumped at the popping of the fire.
“Don’t be worried. They won’t hurt you, because you live on their mountain. And as long as you live on the mountain, you protect them. Like Dustin and I.”
“Are Uncle Greer and Uncle Tate afraid of them?”
“They’re scared to death of them, and so are Asher and Holt.”
“Uncle Tate and Uncle Greer aren’t afraid of no little green men.”
“I can prove it.”
“How?”
“Did you ask them to camp out with you tonight?”
“Yes ….” Logan’s forehead scrunched up into a frown.
“What did they say?”
“No.”
“See? They’re scared.”
“Dad, are they scared?”
“Terrified.” Terrified that they’d have to sleep on the ground instead of in their warm and cozy beds, Dustin said to myself.
He enjoyed seeing the mischievous Jessie appear, sharing her whacky opinions with his son. He watched her through slit eyes, trying to decipher her motive. He knew damn well that Jessie had outgrown her belief in the little green men. What was stumping him was why she was encouraging that belief in Logan.
“You’re just joking … If I tell anyone at school about little green men, they’ll laugh at me.”
“Who wouldn’t believe you?”
“Everyone, but especially Fynn.”
Jessie made a disappointed face, then she suddenly snapped her fingers. “The next time you go camping, you could invite some of the boys in your grade.”
“What if we don’t see the green men?”
“I’m sure a couple of them will show up. They like you and wouldn’t want you to be disappointed.”
“Can I, Dad?”
“I don’t see why not,” he agreed, despite dreading the numerous calls he was going to receive from the parents. “Who’s ready for some s’mores?” Dustin asked, finishing off his second hot dog.
“Me!” Logan ran to the canvas bag in the tent to get the chocolate and the marshmallows.
“You know there aren’t little green men running around this mountain, don’t you?”
Jessie rolled her eyes. “Of course.”
“Then why …?”
“Just make sure Fynn is invited, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Don’t you trust me?” As she gave him a pitiful look, Dustin couldn’t hold his laughter back any longer.
“Jess … you always said that right before hell went to shit.”
“I’m older now.” Feeling cross, she speared another hot dog on her stick. “I know how to plan ahead.”
“You never had trouble with the planning stage. It was executing you had a problem with.”
“It’s better than the plan you have.”
“I’m letting the kids handle it.”
“Exactly. That plan sucks. Mine is much better.”
“We’ll see,” he said skeptically.
“Yes, we will,” she retorted confidently as Logan returned to the fire.
“Dad, you have to go back to the house. You forgot the graham crackers.”
“I forgot the crackers? I told you to put them in the bag—”
“Luckily, you asked me to come.” Jessie took a box of graham crackers out her backpack, giving it to Logan.
“You’re the best, Jessie!” Logan happily sat down and began compiling the s’mores.
Dustin gave her a decisive gaze. “You just happened to bring the crackers? You have any marshmallows or chocolate in that backpack?”
“Nope, just crackers.”
“Well …” he drawled out, “isn’t that a coincidence?”
“Isn’t it?” she stated happily, her eyes twinkling in the firelight as she smushed down a roasted marshmallow that Logan had made for her down onto a cracker.
Dustin did the same, nearly choking on a bite when he saw the tip of her tongue come out to lick a smear of chocolate off her bottom lip.
Shifting on the hard ground to hide his growing erection, he internally blasted himself for becoming aroused. The last thing Jessie needed right now was thinking she triggered another fire that was near her.
When they were done, Jessie took out a pack of baby wipes, giving one to each of them to wipe their sticky hands. Then Dustin turned on a battery-operated radio for them to listen to as they sat around the campfire.
Jessie wrapped her arms around her knees as Logan took out a leather bag that had once belonged to Dustin’s great-grandfather. It was then passed to his grandmother, who handed it down to Greer before she died.
Out of all her grandchildren, she had been the least close to him. She had been closest with Tate and Greer. They’d often gone to her at night to sit and talk to her into the late hours. Even with Rach, who was born three years before her death, she would allow her to come to her room and jump on her bed before watching the old television they’d managed to fit in the small space.
It was only with him that she had shown no notice of, usually pretending to be asleep when he would go to her room to keep her company or directing her attention to the television instead of what he was saying. Gradually, as he had grown older, he was able to recognize the wariness in her lined face and stopped making the effort. When she died, it had hit him hard that they hadn’t shared the same close relationship that she shared with his brothers and sister.
From the moment Logan had come to live with them when he was eighteen months old, he developed a fascination with watching Greer whittle. As soon as Greer would go outside with the leather bag, Logan toddled after him, raptly watching him make the little figurines. None of the wooden facsimiles looked like what they were modeled after, but they still held a place on a shelf in their bedroom.
When Logan had grown older, Greer had given him a butter knife and a piece of wood to keep him occupied when he whittled. Then one day, Dustin had come out onto the porch and saw Greer teaching him how to use a worn blade that he found in a pawn shop. At first, he and Holly protested, but at such a young age, he exhibited a talent that was undeniable, so Dustin had given in to letting Greer monitor Logan as he learned to whittle. His creations dotted their home, bringing envious gasps to those visiting.
“Did your dad teach you how to do that?” Jessie laid her head on her raised knees, watching Logan as he worked.
“No, Dad always cuts himself when he tries. Greer taught me.”
“Greer taught you?” Jessie raised her head to stare at him. “I didn’t think Greer would have enough patience to whittle.”
“Greer can have plenty of patience when he wants to do something. It’s only when he doesn’t that he can be stubborn,” Dustin answered her.
“You learn something new every day,” she stated, though Dustin could still see the doubt in her eyes.
“He isn’t as good as Logan. That’s why he gave Logan our great-grandfather’s tools.”
“May I see it, Logan?”
“Help yourself.” Logan nodded toward the leather pouch as he continued on the block of wood.
Jessie picked it up, running her fingers over the soft material. “It’s beautiful. Greer gave it to you?” She turned her head once again toward him. “I would have thought he would have saved it—” She delicately broke off what she was about to say.
“For his own son? No. I said the same thing when Greer gave it to him. He wanted Logan to have it.”
“That’s unusual. Greer hides his pickles and his cornbread, but he let Logan have something that obviously has sentimental value?
”
“Go figure. All of us were surprised, too. I told him, if he wanted, just let Logan use it until he wanted it back, but he wanted him to have it. I stopped arguing about it when I saw how good Logan was at it.”
Setting the bag down next to Logan, she continued watching Logan while Dustin did the same to her. Feeling his eyes on her, she lowered her head again.
“What are you making, Logan?” She spoke so low that Dustin wasn’t sure Logan heard her until he stopped whittling to study the wood.
“I don’t know yet. It hasn’t come to me.”
“You can whittle without knowing what it’s going to look like?”
“The picture hasn’t come to me. When it does, then I can finish it.”
“What if it doesn’t come to you?”
“Then I put it in my room until it does. I have a whole box. You want to see it sometime?”
“I would love to.”
The humble way she accepted Logan’s invitation was very heartwarming as a parent … and heart-wrenching that he hadn’t let her into his life before.
Whenever he had visited Logan at her daycare, she had been professional, giving the same personal attention to all the children. He missed the special nuances of the way she talked to him, the gazes that caught everything Logan did, and the caring touches she couldn’t help but show. He was a fucking idiot.
“Is Greer as good at whittling as you are?”
“No, I’m better. Uncle Greer does better than me at everything, except whittling.”
“You love your uncle, don’t you?”
“Yes. A lot of people think he’s mean, but he’s nice to me.”
“I can understand that. A lot of people think my brothers are mean, but they’ve always been nice to me.”
“Can your brothers do things like Uncle Greer?”
“Like hunting, fishing?”
“Greer’s good at that, too, but he can do things that no one else can.”
“Like what?”
“Logan ….” Dustin sensed what his son was about to say.
Jessie looked at him curiously when Logan remained silent, looking chagrined.
She bluntly called him out. “What didn’t you want him to tell me?”
“It’s a family secret.” Logan quit whittling, frowning at the wood.
