by Jamie Begley
Sliding on the chair next to his, she waited for his reaction.
“When Asher wakes up, we’ll run by and get Bud and his truck and get your things.”
Jessie looked down at her plate and closed her eyes in relief. She hadn’t thought they would mind, but that he was so willing soothed a part of her that had been unsure.
“Thank you.”
He turned to look at her in surprise. “What for?”
“For letting me move back. You and Asher have been alone since Dad died.”
“Jessie, I never wanted you to move out, but it was for the best when Dad was still living. He was hard to live with; that’s why I didn’t put up an argument when you moved out. After he died, you were old enough to make your own decisions, so I left well enough alone. It’s one of the many things I regret.”
Jessie got off her stool. “Don’t say that. You’re the best brother ever.”
He dropped his fork to his plate. “I better get Asher up.”
“Finish your breakfast. I’ll wake him.”
Jessie went to Asher’s bedroom door, knocking until she heard his voice from the other side.
When Asher came into the kitchen, he made a plate for himself as Holt told him they were going to her apartment to get her things.
“Do you want to go, or do you want us to do it?” Asker asked, taking a seat at the counter with them.
“I’ll go.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” Then she replied firmly, “I’m going.”
“What we going to do with all the furniture? It won’t all fit in here.”
“Most of it is secondhand, but I’ll text Lily and ask if she wants it for the thrift store.”
“Sounds like we’d better get busy,” Holt said, raising from his stool to put his dishes in the sink. “I want to have enough time to get a shower and changed before going to the party tonight.”
Caught off guard, Jessie nearly dropped the plates she was carrying. “You’re going?”
“Asher and I both are.”
Setting the dishes in the sink, she started washing them as Asher finished eating.
“Bubba, Bud, and BoDean are going, too,” Asher said, smearing jelly on his biscuit.
“Damn, I didn’t know that. We need to get there early, then—all the food will be gone,” Holt complained.
“There should be plenty. King was supposed to cater it, but he backed out when he got in an argument with Greer about the price. Now, everybody is supposed to bring a dish.” Asher pointed at the angel food cake he had bought at the store. “We can take that.”
Jessie turned the water off. “You ate most of it last night.”
“That don’t matter. Dustin just said to bring something. He didn’t say how much.”
She grabbed a hand towel to dry her hands. “Let’s go. We can run by the store after we get my things loaded into the truck.”
“You going to the store, too? What put you in such a good mood this morning? Or shouldn’t I ask?” Asher asked, buttering another biscuit.
Jessie flushed, seeing Holt staring at her.
“Nothing better be going on with Dustin in that bedroom until I see a ring on your finger.”
Jessie could feel her flush becoming brighter. “You know he’s been sneaking in?”
“A damn fool could with the two of you talking.” Asher snorted around his biscuit. “It’s only when we hear something else going on in there that Holt and I’ll shoot his ass.”
Jessie’s hackles immediately rose at him threatening to shoot Dustin. Though, conveniently, she had taken a shot at him herself.
“Dustin’s been a perfect gentleman.”
“He better.” Asher popped the last of the biscuit into his mouth. “Don’t throw that newspaper away. I need to start looking for another part-time job to make some extra money. I need a new suit. If there’s going to be a wedding, I need to be prepared.”
“I just told you nothing is going on between Dustin and I.”
“You can’t court forever. You’re not getting any younger.”
Jessie snatched the newspaper off the counter and threw it in the recycling bin. “Dustin’s already told me that he doesn’t want to get married.”
Holt lowered his cell phone at her quick retort. “When did he tell you that?”
“A few days ago.”
“Then he needs to be changing his mind pretty damn quick.”
Jessie seethed as she listened to Holt call Bubba and ask for his help and his truck. As soon as he disconnected, she resumed the conversation they had been having.
“Why should he change his mind?” she practically yelled at the stubborn man. “I told you nothing was happening. We’re just friends.”
“Bullshit. A man doesn’t claim a woman as his unless he’s going to put a ring on her finger.”
Confused, Jessie stared at Holt. “When did he say I was his woman?”
“When I told him that I was the only one who was killing the bastard who hurt you.”
Jessie’s flush faded at the mention of what Holt was planning.
“What did Dustin say? Maybe you misunderstood him?”
Taking his jacket off the wall, he shrugged into it. “There was no mistaking what he said.”
Jessie clenched her teeth. “What did he say?”
“That no one hurts what belongs to him.”
Her heart melted. “He said that?”
Asher made a gagging noise as he opened the door. “We going or not?”
Jessie grabbed her coat, virtually floating on air as she walked to Holt’s truck. She squished in between her brothers. They were almost at her apartment building when her thoughts were dragged from the clouds.
When Holt pulled into the parking lot, she felt her pulse soaring at the panic that was trying to take ahold of her.
Holt and Asher both got out. Holt shut his door, and Asher waited for her to slide out.
“I’ll wait here.”
The courage she’d had about cleaning her apartment fled as soon as she had looked at building.
“What’s wrong?” Holt asked as he came to see what was taking them so long.
“She doesn’t want to go in. She wants to stay in the truck,” Asher explained.
Unable to meet her brothers’ sympathetic gazes, she put her head on her knees, praying the dizzying rush of fear would pass.
“That’s fine. Bubba and Bud are here. We can handle it. You stay here with Jessie.”
Jessie listened to Holt and Asher talk without raising her head.
“Excuse me. May I talk to Jessie?”
Her heart sunk at the feminine voice she heard, embarrassed that Lily was witnessing her panic attack.
“I can keep her company until you’re done. If that’s okay with you, Jessie?”
Jessie raised her head to see that Asher and Holt had moved away to let Lily stand in the open doorframe.
When she nodded, Lily gave her a gentle smile.
“I appreciate you donating your furniture to the thrift store. If you’d rather do it another time, Shade, Lucky, and I can come back?”
“No, I’d rather get it over with now.”
Lily waved toward Shade and the others before sliding into the truck cab next to her. “It’s a pretty day, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
Jessie tried to think of something to take her mind off the brain-numbing fear that kept her inside the truck. “How’re your boys doing?”
Lily gave her a gentle smile. “Good. Glad their father is back home for the next two weeks.”
“Shade was gone?”
Lily nodded. “Do you remember Genny?”
“Of course.”
“She’s signed to perform with Mouth2Mouth in Nashville. The Last Riders are taking turns being part of her security team.”
Astonished, Jessie turn toward Lily. “She’s singing with Mouth2Mouth?”
“Genny’s the opening act.”
“Wow
. I didn’t know that. I always enjoyed her singing in church. I didn’t know she was talented enough to be an opening act for a band like Mouth2Mouth.”
“Apparently, she didn’t either. I think Penni had something to do with it.”
“Penni?”
“My sister-in-law. Shade’s sister.”
“Is she enjoying it?”
“From what Shade says, I don’t think so.”
“Then why is she doing something she doesn’t want to?”
“I asked Shade the same question. He said he thinks she’s wanting to overcome her fear of singing in public, but she isn’t content traveling on the bus for long periods. This will give her time to decide what she wants to do.”
“I see,” Jessie mused out loud. “If she’s afraid of singing in public, it has to be even worse with so many who come to see the band.”
“I imagine so,” Lily agreed.
“I didn’t even want to get out of the truck, and that’s with Asher and Holt being here.”
“Fear is fear. It can strike when you’re all by yourself and when you’re around others who makes you feel safe. I spent a big portion of my life being afraid, and I can tell you from experience that the only different about it was the ability to hide it. And truthfully, I didn’t do a good job at that. I was afraid of my own shadow, and most of the town knew it.”
Jessie licked her dry lips. “I didn’t.”
“That’s probably because you didn’t go to school with me, and even when you moved to town, you still kept pretty much to yourself. You went out less than I did.”
“My family sheltered me since I was the only girl in the family. We had that in common, too—your parents were as strict as my father.”
“Stricter. When they died, Beth tried to get me involved more, but I was content to stay in my bubble.” Lily laid her hand on hers. “I wasn’t always sheltered. I was adopted.”
Jessie met Lily’s clear violet eyes that every woman in town envied, seeing the depths of pain within that her heart instinctively recognized.
Jessie turned away, a tear sliding from the corner of her eye. She had gone to church with Lily for years; whoever could have hurt the gentle woman had to have been a monster.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry it happened to you, too. Jessie, look at me.”
Jessie turned her face back around.
Lily wiped the tear on her cheek away. “Please don’t cry for me. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I promise you’re going to get there, too.”
“It doesn’t feel that way now.”
“No, it doesn’t. But it will. It’ll be better.”
“I don’t know about better.” Jessie gave a short laugh. “I just know I don’t like feeling like this. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life. I don’t like not wanting to stay home alone, jumping at every creak, and I miss being with my friends. I’m not this person.” Jessie waved her free hand over herself, angry with herself about becoming a frightened mouse.
“Then don’t be,” Lily said simply. “You don’t have to do it alone. I didn’t.”
Lily turned over the hand holding hers, and with the other, she pushed up the sleeves of her dress to reveal the tattoo on the underside of her arm. Forget-me-nots were clustered around three white Easter lilies. Inside the forget-me-nots were Shade’s, her children—John Wayne and Clint’s—names, as well as others that Jessie didn’t recognize. But it was the words that were tatted inside the lilies that drew her attention. They were words Lily lived by every day, tattooed not only on her arm, but on her soul—love, hope, and faith.
“Jessie, my faith gave me strength during my darkest moments. And when I wasn’t strong enough to fight through my fears, God blessed me by putting those in my life who loved me enough to give me theirs. You can’t move a mountain alone, but a whole town can. I might not look it, but I’m strong, and I’ll always be one phone call away whenever you need me.”
Jessie pressed her lips together, trying not to break down in tears. Taking a deep breath, she then released it shakily.
“Thank you, Lily. I was raised only to depend on my family and myself, and not to accept help from anyone. That’s why I was thinking of selling the daycare, because I didn’t want to accept Bliss’s help. I decided this morning not to sell it. If I can accept help from her, then I have to realize that I need to be willing to accept help from others, too.”
“Yes, you do.” Lily pointed out the windshield. “Look.”
Jessie looked out, seeing that more people had arrived while she had been talking to Lily. Tate was going up the steps to help Bubba and Holt with her couch. Rachel was patiently waiting for them to come down so she could go up. Greer was jumping onto the back of Bud’s truck to help Asher and Bud lift a large chair.
As she watched, she saw two cars pull into the parking lot. Jo and Rider got out of an expensive car that she would give one of her eye teeth for to get in line behind Rachel. And Holly, Diamond, and Bliss got out of the other car to get in line.
“I don’t have that much stuff to need that much help,” she was saying when her heart broke into a million pieces.
Kaley came out onto the landing from her apartment, carrying the lamp from her living room. That Kaley was helping while she was suffering her own tragic loss was a heartwarming gesture that reminded Jessie how truly lucky she had been to survive her attack.
Miranda hadn’t. She was now in the funeral home two blocks away while Jessie was sitting here, too afraid to get out.
“They don’t care. No matter how small, they want to help you carry a small part of your burden.”
“Lily, would you mind helping me pack my clothes?”
“I would be honored,” she said, then gave a small laugh. “But I think Dustin has other plans.”
Jessie turned at the sound of the truck door being opened on her other side.
Dustin searched her eyes as he leaned inside. “You want a ride home?”
Jessie squeezed Lily’s hand. “I don’t need it. Lily convinced me to get my ass out of the truck. I have a mountain to move.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“Maybe another time. We have to get busy. We need to get this finished, because I have a party to get dressed for.”
Dustin grinned. “You do?”
“I do,” Jessie threw over her shoulder as she slid out after Lily.
Dustin came around the front of the truck. “They have a special at KFC today in case you want to bring something.”
“Our family has already decided what we’re going to bring. We’re going to the store when we’re done here.”
Dustin’s face fell in disappointment. “Oh … that’s fine. Asher said he was picking something up from the store yesterday. He said you don’t do much cooking.”
“He did?” She stared back at him quizzically. “When did he say that?”
“Holt and Asher say that all the time.”
Inwardly seething when she saw him look away in embarrassment, Jessie knew that wasn’t the only story her loving big brothers were saying about her cooking abilities.
She was wishing the heavens above would hit them with a thunderbolt when Bliss wound an arm through hers, pulling her protectively to her side.
“You can bring anything you want.” Bliss gave Dustin a glare. “I love your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I’m on a diet,” she added hastily. “But I’m sure everyone will eat them.”
“I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” Lily assured her just as fast.
Not only had her brothers downplayed her cooking abilities, she had done it herself to make Bliss feel better about her lack of skills.
“I’ll eat them.” Dustin gave both women a glare back. “I don’t love them,” Dustin said, rolling his eyes at them, “but I have no problem eating them if that’s what you’re bringing. Just don’t make them with strawberry.
I prefer grape.”
“I’m so glad you told me that. I would have made them with strawberry if you hadn’t.”
“No problem. No sense in wasting food. And most everyone else will be eating KFC. I just didn’t want you to get your feelings hurt with only me and Lily eating them.”
Jessie was glad the stairs were finally clear so the group that was standing at the bottom could go up.
“I won’t,” she managed to get out, wanting to take the lamp that Kaley was carrying and bash him over the head with it.
“Dustin, I think the men need help loading the couch onto the truck.”
At his sister’s suggestion, Dustin went to help.
Jessie shrugged at Rachel. “I wouldn’t have hurt him too bad.”
She grinned. “Dustin can take care of himself. He should know better than to talk about a Kentucky woman’s cooking.”
“There is no cooking involved in making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And apparently, that’s all I’m capable of making,” Jessie said drily as they went up the steps.
“You could always make mac and cheese. I’m good at that. The recipe is on the back of the box,” Bliss whispered at her side.
“Rachel?”
The woman turned around, a smile on her lips. “Yes, Jessie?”
“Who’s the best cook in the county?” She already knew, but she wanted to confirm it. After all, she had eaten at enough potlucks at the church to gauge most of the cooks.
“I’m pretty good.”
Jessie wanted to roll her eyes at that one. Rachel was the best in the county.
“Sutton is a close second. She beats me on meatloaf. She won’t share her recipe. That is, if you’re talking about regular food. If you’re talking about desserts, no one can beat Willa … yet. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t trying.”
“Maybe you could take a cooking class. I’d take it with you. The last time everyone tried to teach me didn’t go so well,” Jo said from behind her.
“I don’t need lessons!” Jessie stopped in the middle of the stairs. “I can cook.”
“Yes, you can,” Bliss agreed. “I told you I love your sandwiches.”
“Bliss, I’m not making sandwiches.”
Rachel continued up the steps. “The men won’t consider deli food as cooking, but I don’t have any problem with it. The potato salad you brought to the last church supper was so good I bought a tub of it myself.”
