by H P Steven
I let the phone dial twice before hanging up.
Shit it’s too early for that, I thought to myself and head back out to the lounge. Where I see Hannah curled up on the couch with her face red from rubbing her eyes, sleeping. I grabbed the spare blanket and placed it on her and sit on the chair next to her and watch the TV for a bit. Before falling asleep myself.
Waking up just in time to hear what Hannah said, “Just give him and kick Iva.”
“Ha, punch him in the nuts,” Greg joked.
“Woo,” I said. Waking up with Iva’s open handed slap to the face.
“Wake up, inky blue!” Iva yelled.
Hannah, losing it in the Kitchen laughing. “I see our game is still going strong Iva,” Hannah joked.
“Oh this is because of you,” I laughed. Staring at Hannah shaking my head.
“Ah ha,” I giggled, picking up Iva and giving her a big hug. “Hey bro,” I said. To Greg walking into the kitchen.
“Hey man what’s the go, have you heard anything?” Greg asked.
“Nah bro,” I said. Handing him Iva .
“How’d you get in man?” I added.
“Oh Hannah let us in, we were buzzing from the gate for ages man,” Greg remarked.
“Oh nice,” I replied walking off to find my phone. Picking it up I see I’ve missed a few more texts and phone calls, yet still nothing from Cam, Devin or Susan. “Argh, what are we supposed to do?” I asked. With my hands on my head. “Never felt this helpless!” I hollered.
“Man, I don’t know aye bro, I tried ringing the number on the radio and TV but the line is just super busy, Hannah was telling me when you tried to ring Cam’s missus and a policeman answered,” Greg said.
“Yeah bro, its stuffed up aye. What’s Linda up too, is she working in a hospital today?” I asked.
“Yeah bro, they haven’t had anything to do with the bombs though man. I asked. She’s got people keeping an eye out for Cam and Devin bro,” Greg said.
“Oh thanks man that’s awesome.”
“Yeah thanks Greg,” Hannah said.
“Oh man, do you want a coffee or something Greg?” I asked. “Juice for Iva,” I added.
“Yeah bro sounds good,” Greg replied.
Heading off to fill the jug up and put it on I get a call from Audrey. “Hi Audrey.”
“Hey Phil, I’m outside can you let me in and do you know someone called Margaret?” Audrey asked.
“Yeah, I’ll be out soon,” I replied hanging up the phone, and turning to Hannah.
“Hey Hannah, Susan’s mum is outside with Audrey?” I whispered.
“Oh shit, what do we do?” Hannah asked.
“How should I know? I’m gonna go out and let them in.”
“Should I come as well?” Hannah asked.
“If you want to.”
Not really knowing what to say, Hannah in the end came with me. Walking out to meet them. I can see Audrey with her hand on Margaret’s shoulder and my heart sinks. As I notice the marks around her eyes as she must have been rubbing them. Feeling helpless I noticed Hannah has spotted it as well and tried to hold my hand nearly crushing it as she struggles to stay standing. I pressed the release button on the fence to open the gate and walk straight towards Margaret.
Hugging her tightly trying to convince her and myself that they’re all okay. Trying desperately to keep it together. Before Hannah introduced herself and does the same, I step back to talk to Audrey.
“Hey, have you guys heard anything?” Audrey asked.
“No not a thing, I’ve been trying to get in touch,” I said. Walking away a tiny bit with Audrey I told her, “I rang Susan’s phone and a cop answered it.”
“What, are you serious, holy shit. What does that mean?” Audrey remarked.
Hearing this Margaret wants to know what’s going on, then told us she rang her daughter and got the same cop.
“That’s why I’m here,” Margaret declared.
That one comment stops time and I’m left hearing it over and over in my head.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Let’s go inside and I’ll make you a coffee,” Margaret commented.
“What, why,” I said standing there, unable to move.
“That sounds like a good idea, I’ll help,” Audrey said.
It’s the second longest walk of my life and I’m still not sure how the coffee found its way in front of me.
“Phil, I’ll understand if you don’t want to do this. But, I’m gonna need your help. Scott can’t get here till tomorrow and I’ve been asked after giving a description of Susan to go and try and identify a body,” Margaret commented.
“What, are you serious?”
Hannah started crying and was consoled by Greg. Audrey doesn’t know what to do and Iva’s running around in circles but stops for a second so Audrey finally has the chance to pick her up.
“This is the one thing I need from you, Susan told me she always felt safe around you. You were the groups protector. I need that right now, will you help me?” Margaret asked.
With tears streaming down my cheeks losing the feeling in my legs. I whispered, “Yeah, I guess.”
We get another buzz at the door. Greg lets go of Hannah, who comes into the lounge and sits down next to me and I put my arm around her. Greg went off and answered the door.
Mike stepped in to check up on us and Greg told him the news about Susan.
Stunned he doesn’t know what to say, but takes a seat in the lounge and Greg makes him a coffee.
Just as Iva, walked up to me and asked me about an adventure, “blinky loo, adventure?”
I picked her up and took her into my room and grabbed a book that I was planning on sending home and started reading it to her. Noticing the ending to my book I call out to Audrey.
“Hey Audrey, have you got a minute?” I asked.
“Yeah what can I do Phil?” Audrey asked walking into my room.
“Um, just up there next to the computer is a folder and the end of my book is just there in the printer. I’m not sure when I’ll get a chance to give it to you, but can you take it when you leave,” I replied. Not knowing what to say. Looking back, I couldn’t have chosen a worse time. Luckily Audrey insisted.
“Yeah, but we don’t have to worry about that right now.”
So, I kept reading to Iva for another half hour before Greg comes into the room, to take her home.
“Hey bro, I’ll go home and come back with something to eat okay,” Greg declared.
“Yeah bro that’ll be good, do you want some money?” I asked.
“Nah man I can cover it, just hang tight here,” Greg suggested.
“Yeah no worries bro, take that though yeah,” I said handing Greg the code to the front gate.
“Cheers man I’ll see you soon,”
“Bye Uncle Phil,” Iva whispered, and made a fart noise on my cheek, before laughing. As I give her a big hug and hand her to Greg, showing them both out.
Walking back into the lounge, sitting next to Margaret.
“So Phil, are you ready?” Margaret asked.
“What you want to go now?” I replied.
“Yeah, I’ll have to ring someone to take us there. But the next couple of hours just so we know,” Margaret said.
“Yeah let me put some shoes on,” I looked at Hannah with a strange surreal look. “Oh man, this isn’t happening,” I whispered.
“Yeah I don’t know what to say,” Mike remarked. Hannah’s just stunned into silence.
“If you guys need a ride somewhere we can take my car,” Audrey insisted.
“Thanks Audrey, do you know where we have to go Margaret?” I asked.
“Coroner as far as I’m aware, the policeman gave me the address and they’re expecting me,” Margaret commented. “It’s getting pretty late though?”
“I checked the time and its pretty close to 6pm at this stage, should we ring and check?” I added.
“Yeah all done, they said we
can go in,” Margaret insisted knowing full well I was trying to stall, which she would later tell me was helping her. She wasn’t in the biggest hurry to get where we had to go.
“All right let’s go and make sure our friends are still missing,” I hollered wishing I hadn’t said anything. “Okay, Margaret and Audrey,” I whispered.
The walk to Audrey’s car seems like a blur, getting to the coroner seemed like a messy dream I wished I could wake from, they were expecting us. Audrey waited in her car.
As we went in Margaret grabbed my hand. “Thank you for coming with me Phil.”
I felt lost, so much stuff was swimming in my head. What if it was Susan?
I didn’t even notice the photos of others caught up in the attack on the notice board that was set up as we walked in. A face that I’ll never forget jumped off the board at me though, I wasn’t sure if Margaret had seen it. It looked like a sleeping Susan, my heart stopped again and I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be there.
I knew what we’d see when they took the cloth off the body they wanted us to identify. I stood there next to Margaret as the guy pulled back the cloth and I felt the grip from Margaret’s hand tighten. I turned to her to grab her, before her legs gave out under her. Holding her there as she screamed and tears ran down her face. Feeling helpless the coroner got her a seat and I walked over near the board to grab one for myself. When I thought, I saw something.
I didn’t want to look but I was drawn to a photo of two feet, one of them looked incredibly hobbit like, while the other was shaven even the toes and my heart stopped again. The coroner must have noticed me as he walked over. I asked if the person in the photo was here.
“Yeah, he’s just over there, do you know him?” The coroner asked.
“I might know him, but really hope I don’t,” I replied.
So, the coroner took me over to another table and pulled back the wrong end of the cloth and I think I’m staring at Cam’s feet.
“Sorry about that,” the coroner said moving up to the other end, Margaret looked up just as my perm headed friend comes into view.
“No, no, no!” Margaret screamed.
I fall to my knees grabbing Cam’s hand as tears stream down my face.
“No, no, no!” Margaret screamed, crying out.
“Why, how!” Margaret yelled out.
“Phil, why? They were to be married,” Margaret tears and screams ripped through my soul.
“I don’t know Margaret,” I said still on my knees, I finally stood up and turned to the coroner. “There was another, who would have had a shorn foot as well. Any idea what happened to him?” I asked the coroner.
“Yeah someone like that went to one of the hospital closest to Edgware Road, did you know him?” The coroner asked. “The guys a hero, jumped on top of two kids and took a lot of shrapnel saving their lives, they maybe operating on him now,” The coroner added.
“Devin, I need to go a check either way,” I said as I turned to Margaret who could barely form words.
“I can call if you’d like to find out how the surgeries going,” the coroner replied.
“Please, if you could we’d like to know,” I insisted.
“Yeah I’ll be back soon, are you two okay here?” He asked.
“Probably not man but we’d still like to know,” I said.
Wiping the tears from my face on the briefest fact that one of our friends might have made it through all of this. It never dawned on me to hate those who had done this stupid act of terror. It never crossed my mind that they had changed people’s lives those who had never come into contact, with Susan or Cam would have their lives forever changed either massively or in the tiniest way. But it would be forever changed.
Margaret wanted to stay there all night and the coroner’s assistant told me Cam could only be released to a direct family member. I would eventually have to make the one call I didn’t want to make.
As the coroner came back in, the look on his face wasn’t positive. “Your friends still in surgery, it’s going about fifty-fifty. At the moment, there looks like a main artery might have been affected and he’s lost a lot of blood, but hanging in there,” the coroner said. He then goes over to Margaret and goes through the process of releasing Susan’s body to her that would have to be taken care of tomorrow. “We’re so very sorry for your loss,” the coroner declared.
We took one last look at them both and headed back out to Audrey. The looks on our faces confirmed everything to Audrey she didn’t need to ask us. She was happy yet subdued to hear about Devin, whom we weren’t going to be able to see till tomorrow anyway. So, we headed home, to have something to eat.
Not that we were hungry at all.
“Hey Margaret you can stay at ours tonight, I won’t take no for an answer,” I insisted.
“Thanks Phil,” Margaret softly replied. Still feeling hollow with tears falling down her cheeks. Audrey handed her a tissue
“Thank you Audrey,” Margaret whispered.
“Oh man, what am I going to say to Drew, I can’t ring Cam’s parents,” I muttered.
“If you want I can talk to him,” Audrey offered.
“No, I should do it. He’ll have to fly over anyway, they won’t release Cam to me as I’m not direct family,” I replied.
“Oh wow, well the offers still there,” Audrey said.
“Thanks. I can’t believe that yesterday and the day before we were celebrating and talking about an engagement party and this happens.”
“I know, it’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone,” Margaret sighed.
While as fast as we got to the coroner, the trip back was just as quick. I stood next to the fence and turned back to Margaret.
“What do I say?” I asked.
“Just tell them the truth, leave nothing to be questioned. Thank you again for coming with me, both of you,” Margaret said, looking at me and Audrey.
I entered the code and Hannah must have known something as she comes running towards me. The look on my face stopped her and she covered her mouth with one of her hands and started crying again. Just in time I get to her and catch her before she falls.
“Its Cam and Susan,” I whispered.
“Devin’s in surgery but he’s lost a lot of blood so it’s all a bit fifty-fifty,” I added.
“What can we go to him?” Hannah asked.
“The coroner told us we wouldn’t be able to get in tonight.”
“What about Cam and Susan?” Hannah asked
Just as Margaret steps up and Audrey walks past to go inside. Margaret grabs Hannah’s hand and tells her while we were there, I spotted a photo of Cam’s feet and asked the coroner if he was there and we found him as well.
“They both looked so peaceful,” Margaret cried.
“What no!” Hannah yelled. As rivers of tears fall down her face and I hugged her and took her inside followed by Margaret who places a hand on my shoulder as I started crying again.
As we get inside I see Linda, Greg and Meredith are there and bought a tonne food back with them, not that I was hungry. Thinking where’s Rupert and Iva, I asked Linda after she hugs me till my back hurts, for a small woman she hugs pretty hard.
“Oh they’re both at home, my neighbours looking after them,” Linda explained.
As I got to the lounge, I see we’re also joined by Louise. Mikes talking to Greg in the kitchen. I find Hannah who’s got so many questions talking to Margaret and find myself walking back to them. They knew what we were going through, I didn’t want to really talk to anyone at that predicular time.
“Hey Hannah,” I said as she grabbed me and hugs me tighter than she’d ever hugged me before.
“Why Phil, why them I don’t understand?” Hannah whispered.
“I don’t understand either Hannah,” I replied.
“You need to have something to eat and we have to talk to the people that are still with us, Devin will be fine,” I added.
“You don’t know that, don’t say that
,” Hannah cried hitting me in the chest,
“Why them Phil, why?” Hannah added. Hitting me again, I grabbed her just before she falls to her knees and bursts into tears on my shoulder.
“Margaret, please go grab something to eat I’ll be in there in a second,” I insisted.
“Okay Phil,” Margaret whispered feeling helpless.
Walking past me placing a hand on Hannah’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. She walked into the kitchen, helped by Audrey and Greg and grabs something to eat and is introduced to everyone by Audrey.
I picked up Hannah and carried her to her room and placed her on top of her bed, putting the throw blanket over her.
Sitting on the bed next to her I said,“This sucks Hannah, I can’t explain why this has happened, it just sucks! Hey leave the door open, I’m gonna go and see everyone and get Margaret set up to sleep in my room tonight, I’m gonna sleep on the couch.”
I got up and headed out to the lounge. Walking in. “Hey guy’s thanks for coming. What a shit day.”
“Hey Phil, grab something to eat man, I’ve put the jug on,” Greg replied.
“Man I could go a decaf coffee for sure.”
“Too easy man I’ll get it sorted,” Greg insisted.
“Thanks man.” Walking into the kitchen and grabbing something to eat. I quickly pop my head out to the lounge. “Hey Linda, did you or Greg make this?” I asked.
“Ha, I made the lasagne,” Linda joked. I see the look on Margaret’s face and know what she thinking. Lasagne was one of Susan’s favourite dishes.
The scene in the lounge was a strange one, it was great having everyone there but the environment in the room felt weird. No one wanted to say the wrong thing. Though having them there meant the world. I’d have to thank each of them at some stage. After they had all gone home and I showed Margaret where everything in the house was and showed her to my room. I made up the couch bed. When my eyes closed laying down to sleep something I wasn’t really expecting happened.
15
Reliving the Nightmare
I had only shut my eyes, then I was back on the station platform with Cam and Devin standing next to me, laughing and I saw the kid. He had just been brushed by the guy in the suit and he dropped his lollipop, but when he turned to me. He looked straight through me, mouthed the words. ‘It should have been you,’
