by Annie Groves
He laughed at being caught out. ‘I did. Not out of hatred though. Out of … admiration.’
She shook her head, unable to believe how wrongly she’d read him. ‘I complained about you all the time. All those evenings when you stopped me going to the cinema with my friends.’
‘I bet you did. I was impossible, I admit.’ He gazed softly at her. ‘I wasn’t sure if you had a chap or not, to be honest. You’ve never said. Or if you’d lost somebody, like your friend did.’
With a sinking feeling Laura turned away. She didn’t want to break the magic of the moment, but his words had brought back to her the ache she always carried.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said at once. ‘Did I say the wrong thing? Is there someone? Laura, you have to tell me. I’m showing you my heart here. There’s nobody in my life, I’ve never met anyone like you. But if you have someone else, then tell me now. Don’t let me believe you feel the same and then break my heart.’
She gasped at the meaning of his words – that he was declaring himself in the most open way and laying himself open to hurt. How brave he was to make himself vulnerable like this. That took courage, a different sort of courage to the one needed to race into a burning building to save a child.
‘Sort of,’ she said, looking away. ‘No, not like that, but … you know when we found the baby and it was safe, and its blanket was alight? We wrapped it in my scarf.’
‘I remember.’ His voice was full of uncertainty, not knowing what was coming next.
‘My brother gave it to me. I don’t have much else of his. He’s missing, presumed dead,’ she said quietly. ‘We were very close. So, while I don’t have a chap, I have lost someone, or I probably have. The not-knowing is the worst.’
‘Oh, my darling girl.’ His arms were around her in an instant, stroking her back, his beautiful shirt absorbing her tears. ‘I’m sorry. It’s rough, isn’t it? My best friend is missing, has been for months, and it’s torture. I do understand.’
‘Yes.’ She lifted her head once more. ‘There, now you know. I don’t tell everyone, only Kitty and Marjorie realise, but there we are, it’s part of everyday life now. Too, too grim. Maybe one day we’ll know for sure and then at least we can grieve properly.’
He reached into his pocket, drew out a pristine linen handkerchief and wiped her eyes. ‘Yes, that would help.’ He kissed her softly on the forehead. ‘Don’t cry, my beautiful Laura. Not when we’ve just found each other.’
She sighed. ‘I can’t believe it. All those weeks, months, I thought you were setting out to make my life hell.’
‘No, Laura.’ His voice was deadly serious now. ‘It was selfish of me to commandeer your presence so often, but I never wanted to make your life hell. The very reverse. We’ll have to work out something once I’m out of here, but once I’m fully better, I want to make your life as wonderful as you deserve it to be. What do you say?’
Laura felt her sorrow fade away and a bubble of happiness rise within her. ‘Yes, Peter,’ she said. ‘Yes, with all my heart.’
Then, in case there could be any doubts left, he kissed her again, as strongly as he dared, and she responded with all the passion that had built up inside her since realising on that fateful night of the fire that here was the man she would love for the rest of her life.
Epilogue
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
December 1941
Kitty Callaghan got to her feet in the swaying train carriage and reached up for her case. She swung it down and took it through to the corridor, which was packed with passengers who’d had to stand all the way from London. Now they were almost into Lime Street Station. The journey had taken twice as long as it used to do before the war, but nobody was complaining. There had been many longer than this and Kitty reflected she was home earlier than she’d expected to be.
The train pulled up at the platform and she scrambled down, bowled along by the crowds disembarking. She had told nobody she was coming, deciding that she would surprise them, and after all there was always the chance that her leave would be cancelled at the last minute or the trains wouldn’t be running. She couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing them, not after she’d been away for the best part of the year. Gazing around the familiar station, she could see men and women in uniform hugging wives, girlfriends, children, husbands, boyfriends. Until recently that might have been her. But the person she would have wanted to welcome her back wasn’t here – would never be here again.
She straightened her shoulders in resolution. Even if this wasn’t how she had imagined her homecoming, she was still glad to be back, despite it being for such a short while. She hadn’t admitted to herself how much she’d missed everyone. She’d worried about Tommy, of course, wondering if he was behaving himself, worried he’d be ill again. Although Danny was old enough to look after himself, she’d worried about him too, as he’d been far from recovered when she’d last seen him. His letters assured her he was getting better by the day and that his new job suited him, so she’d tried to put his underlying heart condition out of her mind, as there was nothing she could do about it. All the same, she was keen to see him, to check for herself how he really was.
As for Jack – she had gasped with delight when she’d got the letter telling her he was getting married to Rita at last. It had almost distracted her from her own sorrow to hear such wonderful news. She’d been too young to understand what had gone on when the couple had first got together in their teens; she only knew she had missed her big brother when he’d moved away, and then Rita had married Charlie. Later on, when the age gap between herself and Rita didn’t matter any more, she realised how unhappy her friend was in her marriage and that she still carried a candle for Jack, even if she did her very best to hide it. She’d willingly helped her by passing on his letters – never judging them, as some self-righteous people might well have done. Now finally they were getting married. God knew they deserved their happiness after what they had both suffered, Rita in particular. Kitty hadn’t shed any tears over the deaths of Winnie and Charlie. She knew without any shadow of a doubt that Jack would make her friend happier than her first husband ever had.
Stepping out of the station entrance she gasped again, this time in shock. She had heard about the destruction visited on the city centre by the Luftwaffe’s raids, but nothing could have prepared her for the actual sight of it. It was like another world. She’d seen bomb damage in London, of course, but the harm done to Liverpool was like a dagger in her heart. A wave of deep sadness washed over her, that her beloved city should have endured all this. How would it ever be put back together? For a moment she shut her eyes, not wanting to believe that the familiar streets of her childhood were so drastically changed.
Then she strode forward, swinging her case, determined not to give in to the overwhelming emotion. She’d done enough crying over the past few weeks. All about her people were milling around, some in uniform, others in clothes that had last been fashionable in 1939, but none looked demoralised. These were the people of Merseyside, and while their city might have been flattened, they were not defeated. They were fighting back and refusing to be cowed by a powerful enemy. She was part of that fight, and she had her part to play now too: sister of the groom, close friend of the bride, celebrating their wedding with all the goodwill she possessed. Squaring her shoulders once more, she set off to find what public transport had survived the destruction so she could make her way back to Bootle.
‘Pass me that plate of sandwiches, pet.’ Dolly was in her element, organising the preparations for the wedding feast. Everyone had contributed their ration coupons to make sure there would be a proper celebration for Jack and Rita. She was determined that they should have a party every bit as good as the ones before the war. It would just take more ingenuity.
Luckily Tommy, Michael and Megan had arrived from the farm laden with parcels of food from Joan and Seth. As there had been no more raids over Bootle since October, Rita had decided they could risk coming
home for a short visit, as long as they brought their gas masks. She dearly wanted her children with her when she said her vows to Jack. Tommy had threatened to run away and come along anyway if they’d not been allowed back. He was beside himself with happiness now that he’d be as good as properly related to Michael and Megan. While he’d taken full advantage of being the youngest by far of the Callaghan siblings, he’d grown into the role of big brother to the Kennedy children. Rita thought it was good for him – he was more responsible when he was looking after them or showing them what was what, and heaven knew he had been in need of calming down. No adult had ever managed to do it, but this new position of big brother was bringing out a whole new side of him.
Now she was being urged to sit down by Dolly. ‘You don’t have to make your own party food,’ she said. ‘You take the weight off your feet and stay out of the way. Save your energy for this afternoon. We’ve got it all under control, haven’t we?’ She turned to Violet and Ruby, who nodded without stopping what they were doing. Violet was cutting slices of bread and then buttering them with real butter, while Ruby was opening tins. After the dreadful events of Charlie’s return and the building collapsing, Rita had had to face going through Winnie’s things. To her surprise, there were boxes and boxes under the old woman’s bed, filled to the brim with luxury foodstuffs. It seemed she had never lost the habit of squirrelling tins away, and now they would all reap the benefit. Winnie would be turning in her grave to think her precious salmon was to be used for Rita’s second wedding, but Rita thought it was only justice. There would also be a generous amount of sherry for anyone who wanted it – Winnie had hidden the bottles behind her wardrobe. No wonder she’d been able to drink from first thing in the morning.
‘When are you going to start getting ready?’ Violet wanted to know. ‘You aren’t getting married in your old cardigan with patches on the elbow, are you?’
Rita shook her head. ‘No, although Jack said he’d marry me whatever I wore, he wouldn’t care.’ She knew he’d meant it as well. She was lucky beyond her wildest dreams to have such a man. ‘Nancy took me shopping – she knows all the best places in the city centre now. She found me a lovely frock and it wasn’t even too expensive. I’m going to borrow her green coat so I’ll look smarter than I have done for years. She’s coming over in a moment to paint my nails, she’s got a bottle of polish put away that goes really well with the pattern of the frock.’
‘I’m amazed she has the time,’ said Dolly. ‘She’s been busier than ever with the WVS now that the Americans are in the war good and proper.’ Just a couple of weeks ago the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor, taking everyone by surprise, and this had prompted the United States to declare war on Japan and throw its weight behind the Allied cause. Nobody was in any doubt that this would mean many more American servicemen and -women arriving in Britain, and that many of them would pass through Liverpool. Nancy would be right in the midst of it.
‘She couldn’t not come to the wedding, and she’s the best person to help me look glamorous.’ Rita stood and posed like a model. ‘I want to look right in all the photos, don’t I? And to do Jack proud, of course.’
‘I do hope Sarah will be back in time,’ Dolly said, wiping her hands on a tea towel. ‘She promised she would be here by midday. You know what she’s like, she always stays on if they’re short-staffed.’
‘She’ll be here,’ Rita said confidently. She wondered why she wasn’t more anxious, as there was still so much to do and the wedding was booked for three o’clock. Yet she felt completely calm. It was the exact opposite of when she’d married Charlie in such haste. Now she had no doubts at all. She adored Jack and couldn’t wait to be his wife, and she knew he loved her more than anything. Her children loved him too, and they would finally have the most wonderful man as their father. After everything that had happened, she didn’t mind if her sisters arrived late, or wearing the wrong thing. Such small details would not mar her joy on her wedding day. Nothing would.
As if on cue, the back door opened and Sarah came into the kitchen, her cheeks flushed by the cold outside. ‘Sorry I’m a bit late,’ she gasped. ‘Some silly accident down on the dock road. They asked me to help this afternoon but I said no.’
‘Well then, I am honoured,’ grinned Rita. ‘You never say no. Bet they were shocked.’
‘Just a bit.’ Sarah came across and hugged her sister. ‘How’s the blushing bride? Do you need any help getting ready?’
Rita shook her head. ‘No, as soon as Nancy gets here we’re going over to my place and she’ll doll me up. You just make sure you’re as gorgeous as possible.’
‘And you could fold some napkins if you’ve a moment,’ Dolly told her youngest. ‘We don’t want anyone saying we don’t do things properly round here.’
‘Where are the children?’ Sarah asked.
‘I wanted them out of the way,’ said Dolly honestly. ‘It’s lovely to have them back but they aren’t much use at a time like this. So Danny’s taken all three of them down to the victory garden. Not that there will be much to bring back at this time of year, but you never know.’
‘That’s good of him,’ said Sarah, knowing how hard Danny had been working recently. But he’d be pleased to see his little brother and spend some time with him. She just hoped they didn’t get too filthy down there. ‘Right, I’ll go and get changed out of my uniform, put on my glad rags and then grab an apron and help out.’
There was another sound at the door and she turned to open it.
‘That’ll be Nancy now,’ Dolly predicted, glancing at the clock. ‘She’s cutting it fine.’
But it wasn’t Nancy who stepped into the kitchen. For a moment nobody spoke and then they all exclaimed at once – except Ruby, who was confused.
‘Kitty!’ Rita ran across the room to hug her friend, who was still in her Wren’s uniform. ‘I didn’t think you’d be able to come! You should have said, we’d have sent someone to meet you.’
Kitty’s face glowed with happiness. How wonderful it was to be back, and it was all the sweeter for having been away for so long. Now it hit her just how much she had missed everyone, and this place in particular. She’d always loved Dolly’s kitchen, which had been like a home from home since she was a little girl. Dolly had promised to look after her when her own mother had died so tragically young, and had always welcomed her with open arms. ‘That’s why I didn’t tell you,’ she replied now, taking in Rita’s changed appearance – her loss of weight, but the deep contentment that radiated from her in a way she’d never seen before. ‘I wasn’t sure if I’d make it in time. It’s no trouble. I just dropped my case at home and thought I’d come across to see if I could make myself useful. But I can see you’ve got it all under control.’ She gazed at the spread on the kitchen table and every available surface: sandwiches of every sort, meat pies, vol-au-vents, and the luxury of tinned fruit in Dolly’s best cut-glass dishes.
‘Well …’ Dolly glanced at the clock once more. ‘Thanks to Joan and Seth, we’ve got eggs and butter, and everyone’s donated sugar, so … there might just be time. Kitty, would you make us a cake?’
‘Oh!’ Rita couldn’t help herself. The memory of Kitty’s famous cakes made her mouth water. Surely her friend would be too tired – if she’d just got off the train she must have been up at an unearthly hour.
But Kitty was taking off her jacket and rolling up her sleeves. While it could never be anything like the three-tiered iced confection she’d produced for Nancy’s wedding to Sid, back when the country had still been at peace, she was sure she could come up with something. ‘For Rita’s wedding? I’d love to.’
The parlour rang with laughter and the sounds of everyone eating, drinking and having a good time. Gloria’s parents had donated bottles of beer and the menfolk were cheerfully opening them. Someone had got hold of some whisky as well. Kitty’s cake stood in pride of place at the centre of the table. By a miracle it had been ready to come out of the oven just as they couldn’t wait
to set off any longer, and she’d been relieved to find it hadn’t sunk in the middle when they’d returned from the civil ceremony. She’d surreptitiously lifted off the dome of netting and dusted it with a precious teaspoon of icing sugar, and tied a beautiful satin ribbon around it, which Dolly had procured from somewhere. Now it was ready for Rita and Jack to cut, once they’d finished receiving everyone’s congratulations. That might take a while, Kitty thought. She had never seen so many people crammed into the house. Some were in the parlour, some in the kitchen or narrow back kitchen, and some were even in the back yard, even though it was a cold day. Everybody, it seemed, wanted to wish the young couple well; Rita was well liked locally and the story of how she had tried to rescue Winnie and Charlie, despite him being a deserter and everything the pair had done, had gone around like wildfire. Of course Jack was known as a serving airman and people admired him for his daily dicing with death.
‘You’ve done them proud with that cake,’ Violet said in admiration, coming to Kitty’s side. ‘Rita’s made up about it.’
‘Well, you’ve made all those sandwiches,’ Kitty responded, ‘so you must take the credit for feeding all these guests.’
Violet smiled at the appreciation of all the work she’d put in; she knew that the fruit they’d grown in the victory garden had been turned into jams and chutneys which were being served alongside the rest of the food. She had good reason to feel satisfied. If only Eddy were here to share this moment with her. She would not cry or even give a little sigh – she couldn’t show her sadness in front of this, her new family, who had welcomed her so warmly and made her feel part of them. But how she missed Eddy, his quiet humour, his acceptance of her for who she was and not who she’d tried to make herself out to be. Gazing at Rita, who had one arm around Michael and the other around Megan, both of whom were dressed up in their very best, Violet wondered for the thousandth time if she would ever have a family of her own, the children that she longed for so keenly. Eddy would be such a good father, anyone could see that. He’d be patient and loving, firm when he needed to be, and fiercely protective, just as he was of her. There was no sense in dwelling on it though; she’d just have to look forward to his next leave, whenever that might be. He’d tried to come home for the wedding but had been turned down, much to his disappointment. They’d just have to wait to be together again, like so many couples all across the country.
