by Yuriko Taira
“No, thank you. I don’t drink.” I shook my head.
“Try a sip, it’s very nice.” Shinkichi pushed the glass of wine into my hand.
“No, thanks.” I pushed it back.
Shinkichi took a sip of the wine, appeared to be very pleased. It looked like a good opportunity for me to run away.
“Hey, where are you going?” Shinkichi put the glasses on the floor, and grabbed my hand quickly.
“I… I’m… I’m going to see Sayuri.” I found a perfect excuse.
“I’ll take you to her.”
I withdrew my hand from him and went backward a few steps.
Shinkichi smiled and raised his hands in the air. “I won’t touch you. Are you happy to come with me now?”
Sigh, this guy is annoyingly persistent. I lowered my head, following him.
When we got there, he whispered something into Sayuri’s ear. She smiled and gave me a hug. “Shinkichi likes you very much, my baby girl.” She giggled.
I felt that my face burning, and had avoided eye contact with Shinkichi; but my subconscious told me that his eyes had not left me. So, I told Sayuri that I needed to prepare for my examination and left the party early.
◆◆◆
Sean laughed. “Ha-ha, ha-ha; Yuuko, you’re trapped.”
“You… cunning person.” I hit Shinkichi’s arm with my fists.
“Hey, hey; I've saved you twice!”
“Yes, Shinkichi is a good boy. He deserves you.” Mrs Shilbury approved of him.
After the hearty meal, we continued the Christmas decorating. By the time we finished the job, night had fallen. We sat on the floor of the front verandah, enjoying an early Christmas gathering.
“Did the meeting with Mister Huang go well?” Mrs Shilbury enquired.
“Don’t even mention it.” Shinkichi was still upset.
“What happened?” Mrs Shilbury asked curiously.
“Yuuko-chan has agreed to a suicide mission,” Shinkichi spat.
“Wow, a suicide mission; that sounds very interesting.” Sean was excited.
“Sean, it’s not a suicide mission. Shinkichi-san put it that way because he doesn’t like the task,” I said.
“Listen to that. She truly doesn’t know what danger she’s got herself into. The bruises on my back haven’t gone yet.” Shinkichi was truly upset this time.
“Oh dear.” Mrs Shilbury sighed.
“Please tell me the details, I’m interested.” Sean was keen to be part of it.
As Shinkichi gave Sean an update, I left the group quietly and went into my bedroom. Standing in front of a full-length mirror which was attached to a door of the wardrobe, I looked at the girl in the mirror: long, wavy, brown-reddish hair, round brown eyes, a high bridged Caucasian nose, small mouth, and fair skin.
Who are you? the girl in the mirror asked.
I don’t know who I’m, Yuuko Yuwen or Yan Deng or someone else? I said to her.
Feeling mentally and physically exhausted, I lay down in bed. Slowly, I floated into the sky. The cotton-like clouds carried me up, higher and higher… I ran into a handsome couple. The woman said to me, ‘Baby, take this to Grandfather and tell him what has happened.’ Then, a plane appeared in the sky. The plane was surrounded by black smoke, and it exploded with a sound like thunder.
Pun, Pun; the knocking on my door woke me up.
“Yuuko-chan, are you okay?” It was Shinkichi.
“Y- Ye- Yes. What’s up, Shinkichi-san?”
The door opened and he came in. “Supper is ready,” he said.
“Thank you. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay.” Shinkichi closed the door behind him and walked away.
The dining room was brightly lit but silent. As I walked in, everyone in the room looked at me with worry.
“Babe, the chicken soup is delicious.” Shinkichi pulled a chair out for me, then sat next to me.
“Thanks, Shinkichi-san.” I sat down.
“Eat what pleases you, my child. Don’t force yourself, eh.”
“Thanks, Missus Shilbury.” I put a spoonful of chicken soup in my mouth. Mm mm, it was delicious.
“Babe, forget about the hundred million. Let’s go back to Japan. I’ll work very hard to look after you,” Shinkichi said sincerely, leaning towards me.
That was not what I wanted to hear. I put the spoon down.
“Shinkichi, be quiet and eat your food,” Mrs Shilbury told him.
“Y- Ye- Yes, Missus Shilbury.” Shinkichi obeyed reluctantly.
“It’s okay. I think I’ll go to China for a holiday. I miss Papa Deng,” I said.
“I’ll go with you.” Shinkichi leaned towards me again.
“No, I don’t want you to hang around me. I’m going on my own,” I said.
“But—” Shinkichi was about to say something, however Sean motioned for him to stop.
“Kid, where about in China are you going to?” Sean asked, calling me ‘Kid’.
“I’m going to a county called Green Hills in south-east China.”
“Yuko, will you be safe going there on your own?” Mrs Shilbury asked, unable to conceal her worry.
“Yes, Missus Shilbury. I’ll be safe. The people there are very nice.”
“Babe, you left China a long time ago, people may not be the same now.”
“Would you please leave me alone?” I was becoming annoyed.
Mrs Shilbury changed the subject immediately. “Kids, it makes me very happy that all of you’re home for Christmas this year. Yuko, will you come back for New Year?”
“I’m not sure.” I stood up, said ‘good night’ to everyone and left the dining room.
After Boxing Day, I said ‘goodbye’ to Mrs Shilbury and Sean. Shinkichi took me to Perth International Airport in his blue Mazda 626 sedan. A few years ago, we had also gone to the airport this way, to see off Sayuri and Marcus.
“If you hadn’t upset Marcus so much last time, they would have invited us to their wedding.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Shinkichi said, then he remembered. “Marcus deserved it, and I don’t want to go to that idiot’s wedding.”
“You think you’re always right, don’t you?” I questioned him.
“Because I am, especially about what happened three years ago.”
◆◆◆
Three years ago, Sayuri and Marcus had left Perth for Kyoto. Shinkichi, I and other students from Milner College had gone to see them off at the airport.
“Shinkichi, when are you going back to Japan?” Marcus had asked.
“I’m waiting for Yuuko-chan to graduate from uni and we’ll go back together.”
“That’s a long wait, Shinkichi. It’s illegal to have sex with a minor.” Marcus whispered into Shinkichi’s ear.
“I haven’t done anything like that.” Shinkichi was cool about Marcus’s advice.
Marcus patted his shoulder. “Shinkichi, your taste in women is strange. Yuuko is a pretty girl but she’s far too young to date. There were many women who you could have. Why have you chosen a child?”
“She’s the one for me. I can practise self-control until she grows up.”
“How long will you do that for?” Marcus asked with disbelief in his voice.
“Not long, only a few years,” Shinkichi replied cheerfully.
“Only a few years? Shinkichi, I admire you. I'd have become a monk if you asked me to wait a year for Sayuri.”
“That’s because you don’t have any self-control.”
“Marcus, don’t talk behind my back.” Sayuri came over, holding Marcus’s arm with both hands, leaning her head on it.
“No, I haven’t talked behind your back. I’m talking to Shinkichi about his self-control.”
“What sort of self-control?” I stood next to Shinkichi, but had not understood their conversation.
Marcus had laughed. He laughed till his tears fell.
Shinkichi wrapped his arm around my waist. “Babe, Marcus is being silly,
ignore him.”
“Marcus, that’s enough.” Sayuri hit Marcus’s arm gently.
Marcus had stopped laughing, and opened his arms to me. “Yuuko-chan, give your big brother a ‘goodbye’ hug.”
“I’ll take that hug for her.” Shinkichi had come in front of me quickly and hugged Marcus.
“How about a hand shake, Yuuko-chan?” Marcus had stepped sideways, putting his hand out to me.
“I’ll do that for her, too.” Shinkichi had turned and took Marcus’ hand. He pulled him aside and whispered into his ear. “No man touches my Yuuko-chan. I’m dating her in the Japanese way.”
“Is this the Japanese way or Shinkichi’s way?” Marcus had asked sarcastically.
“Well, it doesn’t matter which way you think it’s. She’s mine. You don’t touch her.” Shinkichi stood between Marcus and me, putting his hands on his hips, straightening up his back, like a tower that blocked Marcus from my view.
“Are you serious, Shinkichi?” Marcus did not believe what he had heard.
“Yes, I am,” Shinkichi replied firmly.
I did not know what to do. I looked at Sayuri and the others. They had smiled but did not say a word.
“Shinkichi-san, it’s only a hug,” I had said to Shinkichi in a soft voice.
“It’s not just a hug to me,” he responded with a shout like thunder.
The anger in his eyes had frightened me. Before I could made sense of his sudden violent outburst, he had already grabbed my hand; and walking out of the airport so fast that I had to run beside him.
◆◆◆
I had not heard from Sayuri and Marcus since then. However, as Shinkichi grew older, he seemed to keep his domineering and possessive nature under better control.
Shinkichi is a good boy. He deserves you. Mrs Shilbury’s soft voice resounded in my ears. I smiled.
“What are you smiling at?” Shinkichi had asked, stopped the car at Terminal 1.
“Hmm… because you’re handsome.”
“So, can I accompany you to China? I truly want to go there with you.”
“No, I don’t mean that.”
“You’ll need me there, babe. I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
We kissed and said ‘goodbye’ to each other.
There was no direct flight from Perth to Guangzhou. I boarded a Qantas flight to Hong Kong and changed to China Air.
Only 20 passengers including myself boarded the small Chinese aircraft. The plane ran into turbulence soon after taking off and turned upside down in the air. The passengers panicked, and many of them started crying when the captain told us to prepare our wills.
“How can I write a will when I’m upside-down?” the Japanese man sitting next to me complained.
I burst out laughing. He was amused by me and laughed as well. The other passengers stopped sobbing and stared at us, wondering if we had lost our minds. When I thought that I would not see Shinkichi again, the plane returned to its upright position. Everyone on board was relieved.
After about two hours of bouncing up and down in the air, the small aircraft landed at Baiyun Airport in Guangzhou, the capital city of Guangdong province, in China.
As I walked out of customs, I saw a grey-haired man and a tall, handsome young man with tanned skin. “Papa Deng, Brother Fong.” I ran towards them with tears in my eyes. “I… I’m so happy to see you again!”
“Silly girl, dry your tears.” Mr Deng took a packet of tissues out of a pocket of his brand-new Western style black suit, and wiped the tears off my face. He looked so kind that even the wrinkles on his face were relaxing.
Fong was still the same; short black hair, dark brown eyes; a black jumper and a pair of jeans covered his slim body.
He had become a truck driver since I left China. “This is my baby,” Fong said, patting the body of a 4.5 tonne truck.
He put my suitcase on the back seat and helped me to get into the truck. Mr Deng sat in the front seat. Fong drove out of the airport and onto a highway.
CHAPTER 6
High rise concrete buildings had replaced rice paddies and farmland on both sides of the highway. Guangzhou was at least ten times bigger than when I had lived there.
As the truck went further away from the city, I could see the rice paddies and farmland again. I looked and looked… The fields turned into the handsome couple; and the woman said to me, ‘Baby, take this to Grandfather and tell him what has happened.’ She hugged me.
“Yan, Yan!” I woke up. It was Mr Deng, pushing me gently. “We’re home now.”
“Sorry, I fell asleep.” I yawned, getting off the truck.
“It’s okay. It has been a long journey for you,” Mr Deng said kindly.
“How long did we travel in the truck?” I asked.
“About eight hours,” Fong answered.
I counted my fingers. “Gee, I’ve travelled more than twenty hours.”
It was mid-night. The old farm-house stood in dimly street lights, looking a bit lonely among the neighbouring tall and new buildings.
Fong took my luggage off the truck and walking towards the main entry of the house. The big wooden entry doors of the house opened, a woman with short, permed grey hair came out. It was Mrs Deng.
“Welcome home, Yan. Look, how beautiful you’ve grown,” she said.
“Mama Deng, you’re still as youthful as the flowers on your long, quilted dress.”
Mrs Deng was older than her husband. The most valuable gift to her was reassurance that she was forever young. She was pleased with my compliment, and threw her head back to draw my attention to her new hair-style.
Before I could praise it, a woman in her 30s and a little girl ran out of the small side wing of the house, which was the servants’ quarters in pre-communist times. The young woman called out. “Yan, you’ve been away for a long time. Look, my daughter is already five years old now.”
“How are you, Sister Liz?” I greeted her.
Liz pushed the little girl towards me. “Suzie, say ‘hello’ to Aunty Yan.”
“Hello,” Suzie said shyly, looking up at me with a pair of dark-brown eyes.
“How do you do?” I bent, and shook Suzie’s chubby little hand.
An open-mouthed smile appeared on her small round face. The dim light gave colour to her skin; and her thick black hair was tied up in two braids reaching her shoulders. Everything I saw in her was out of the same mould as Liz when she was a young girl.
“Suzie, why are you out of bed at this hour?” Mrs Deng’s voice was as cold as her dark-brown eyes.
“I want to be with Aunty Yan,” the little girl pleaded.
“Okay, okay; let’s get inside, it’s cold out here.” Mr Deng hurried us into the house.
Fong was exhausted from the long drive. He said ‘good night’ to everyone and went to his bedroom straightaway.
“I’ve made some changes to your old bedroom. It should be more comfortable now,” Liz said, leading me to the bedroom.
“Thank you, Sister Liz. I’m sorry to put you to trouble,” I said, looking down at her, noticing that her thick black hair had been cut short and permed in the same style as Mrs Deng’s.
“It’s no trouble at all. We’re family,” Liz said warmly.
“Mum has given our blanket to you. We only use this blanket when Daddy is home,” Suzie said in her baby voice, following us into my bedroom.
“Oh, where is your daddy?” I turned, bending down to talk to the little girl.
“Daddy is in Hong Kong. He only sees us at Chinese New Year. So, we live with Grandma and Granddad.”
“Truly?” I stood up, looking at Liz.
She nodded. I could see sadness in her eyes.
“Who cares where he is, as long as he sends you money. Come, Suzie, you must go to bed now.” Mrs Deng took Suzie out of my room.
“Good night,” Liz said to me, following them.
“Good night to all of you,” I said.
I watche
d their shadows disappearing into the passage, then closed the door. The wooden bed was as cold as the concrete floor, which reminded me that the old farm house had no heating or air-conditioning. I crawled under layers of cotton blankets with my woollen coat on, eventually fell asleep.
In the mist, I saw Shinkichi coming towards me. We walked into Queen’s Gardens hand in hand.
“Do you miss me?” Shinkichi asked me cheekily.
“No, I don’t. You shouldn’t come to my hostel.” I did not hide my annoyance.
“Did that fat hostel manager give you a hard time?”
“Of course, did you think she’d let me off lightly?”
“Why don’t you move out?”
“Because I can’t.”
“Why can't you?”
“I need a guardian to rent a place.”
“Then let me be your guardian.”
“You, my guardian? It’d be my lucky day if you don’t get me into trouble.”
“I’m sorry.” Shinkichi apologised sincerely.
I saw something in his eyes. Was it sorrow or longing? I could not tell which one it was, but I felt sorry for him. We sat down on the lawn.
Shinkichi caressed my hair from behind. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I want to be with you all the time.”
“Are you kidding me?” I stood up.
Shinkichi grabbed my hand, and pulled me down with force. I fell on his lap and in his arms. The sun had gone down. Apart from us, there was no one in the gardens. He kissed me. His lips were moist and soft. I removed my lips from his, looked up into his eyes and saw love burning like flame, wanting to unite my soul with his. I gently touched his jet-black eyebrows. Shinkichi closed his eyes.
“Kiss me, babe,” he whispered but I hesitated. Shinkichi opened his eyes. “Babe…”
“Shinkichi…” I murmured.
“Aunty Yan, my name is Suzie not Shinki.”
I woke up, and saw the little girl sitting next to me. “Suzie, why are you here?”
“Mama has gone to the markets and asked me to stay with you.”
“Where are Granddad and Grandma?”
“They've gone out, too.”
