by Lola StVil
Perry reaches out and tries to get into Regal’s pocket. Regal screams as Perry nudges him gently to the side, and Perry pulls back.
“I can’t do it,” he says.
Kane grunts. “Move,” he says.
Perry scoots to one side, and Kane takes his place.
“This is gonna hurt,” he warns Regal.
Kane pushes Regal’s body to the side until he lands on his back. Regal screams in agony the whole time.
“Oh my god, stop,” Saudia shouts, but Kane ignores her.
He pushes his hand into Regal’s pocket and pulls out the mixture.
“What do I do with it? Rub it on the wound?” Kane asks.
“No,” Langston says. “He needs to drink it.”
Kane nods, his face grave. He opens the tiny bottle of mixture.
“Regal, you need to drink this,” he says.
Regal is too far gone to even hear him. He lies on his back, silent now, his glassy eyes staring up at the sky, unseeing. His jaw is clamped tightly shut. His face is covered in sweat. Kane hands the bottle to me.
“When he opens his mouth, pour it in,” Kane says. “This isn’t going to be pretty. You all might want to look away.”
No one does. Kane leans towards Regal’s mangled arm and pushes his thumb into the exposed flesh. The tendons in Regal’s neck stand out so far, I think they’ll snap. His eyes bulge from his face, and his mouth opens in a silent scream.
I don’t hesitate. If I don’t get this right, all of that pain Kane inflicted on Regal was for nothing. I pour the mixture into Regal’s gaping mouth. He splutters a little as it hits his throat, but he swallows. The wounds on his arm begin to knit themselves back together, and the bone makes a sickening series of cracking sounds as it realigns.
Regal screams the whole time.
“Why is he still screaming?” I shriek.
“Because the mixture he used is meant to be used in conjunction with a pain blocker, but we don’t have any. He can feel everything,” Tracey says quietly.
The healing process doesn’t last for more than three minutes, but it feels like a lifetime listening to the screaming.
Finally, Regal’s arm is whole again, and the screaming subsides. He sits up and pants for breath.
“Well, that was intense,” he says with a shaky smile.
The tension begins to drain from us a little. Regal turns to Kane.
“Thanks, man,” he says.
Kane nods. They look awkward, not meeting each other’s eyes.
Regal grins. “But don’t pretend there wasn’t a part of you that enjoyed that,” he jokes.
Kane laughs. “Only a really tiny part,” he says.
“Seriously, what happened there? How did you kill her?” I ask Regal.
“Did you see the fox that bit me? Saudia swept it away, but not hard enough for the impact of landing to kill it. Yet, it died. All I could think was that the berries I ate when we were looking for the Nightlock must have been in my blood and poisoned it. I took a chance on it working on her too,” he says.
“And what if it hadn’t worked?” I demand.
Regal shrugs.
“I would hope you’d have shed a tear or two after you worked out some other way of killing it,” he smirks.
“I certainly wouldn’t have,” Langston says in indignation. “You were snacking when you were looking for a way to help me.”
“I think better when I’m full.” Regal laughs.
I look around at the team as Langston and Regal trade joking insults. We’re battered, bruised, and cut. But we’re all still alive. We have one more section to cover. But it’s the one I fear the most. Some sort of mental torture.
If I’ve learned one thing about the Shadow world, it would be that it is always harder to fight the demons living in your own mind than any living ones. This is going to be tough.
“Let’s move on,” I say. “We don’t know if there are any others still waiting for us.”
We get to our feet and start moving.
“Just a word of advice, Atlas. If we come across anyone else in danger, for fuck’s sake, don’t try to be the hero,” Perry says. “Just let the nice vultures have their baby soup.”
The joke at the end takes the sting out of the comment, but he’s right. I can’t risk anyone else’s life by straying from our path. Even if walking away will be the hardest thing I have to do.
We reach the end of the yellow path without any more attacks, and we step off onto a stretch of vibrant green grass. Before us is a wide chasm and across it is a bridge. Our experiences with bridges have been a disaster so far, and my heart sinks when I see it.
My eyes search the other side of the chasm, and I feel my breath catch in my throat when I see it. On a golden plinth on the other side of the chasm it stands: the Staff of Lost Souls.
Before I can even think about what we should do next, a deep rumbling sound comes from the chasm, and the ground beneath our feet begins to shake. I take an involuntary step back as a huge figure emerges from the chasm.
I don’t get the feeling she’s a danger to us. In fact, she is surrounded by an aura so radiantly white that it hurts my eyes to look at it. The aura fades, and I can make out a woman’s shape floating above the chasm.
“Greetings, brave ones,” she says. Her voice is seductive, smooth like honey. “Congratulations on making it this far. Behold, the Staff of Lost Souls before you. Let your eyes feast on it and your hearts desire it.”
I do as she says, peering at the staff, hardly daring to believe we are finally this close to it.
“I am Pandora. I believe you know my story?” the woman says.
I nod mutely.
“As you all know, I made a huge mistake when I lost faith in Nyten. Guarding the staff is my repentance. And guard it I must, for it is a very powerful relic, containing the hope of the entire world and the power to do great good or great evil. And only the truly brave may possess it. So, I ask you this. Who amongst you is brave?”
No one responds, but it doesn’t faze Pandora.
“We shall find out soon enough. You come as a team, and you will be tested as a team. You are only as strong as your weakest member. You must cross the Bridge of the Righteous. Only those who are truly brave will make it across the chasm. But know this; if one of you fails, you all shall fail,” she says.
Saudia breaks into a grin.
“This part is going to be easy. We’re all brave. Look at the shit we face every day. Even though we are afraid, we carry on. That’s true bravery right there,” she says.
I feel a sense of elation at her words. She’s right. We face our fears almost daily, and we do it because we want to save humanity. Surely that is bravery.
My elation crumbles and dies when I turn to Kane. He is deathly white, and he’s shaking his head. “I can’t do this, guys. I’ll get you all killed.”
The team looks as confused as I am, exchanging looks. Kane isn’t afraid of anything. If it weren’t for the severity of the situation and the pained expression on Kane’s face, I would think he was joking. But he is stone-cold serious.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
Kane shrugs.
“I just…I’m not brave, okay?” he chokes out.
“I think your teammates are a little confused, Kane. I’m sensing you perhaps didn’t tell them about your past,” Pandora says.
She raises her arms, and as they lift, a wave of water comes up from the chasm. The rolling mist that shrouds the chasm recedes, and the wave of water hangs in the air like a sparkling curtain. Pandora blinks hard, and the wave of water becomes a screen.
It’s dark. The large lake that comes into view is silver in color, reflecting the full moon that hangs low in the sky. Trees line the lake, their branches lazily trailing the water.
The view pans out, and we see a man stumbling along the edge of the lake. Kane. He falls to his knees on the grassy ground. He is covered in blood. He has his hands pressed to his temples. He looks up at th
e moon and screams out at the heavens. The scream is full of agony and despair.
Pandora lowers her arms, and the curtain of water falls away. The mist rolls back in. Every eye is on Kane now, and I can see my own confusion written all over everyone.
“I don’t get it. So, you were attacked? That doesn’t mean you aren’t brave,” Saudia says.
I know there’s more to it than that. The sheer anguish in Kane’s scream sounded like someone so tormented that they are barely themselves anymore.
Kane shakes his head, and I cross the distance between us and take his hand in mine.
“What happened?” I ask gently.
Kane doesn’t look at me. He doesn’t look at any of us. He stares straight ahead and starts to talk.
“That place you saw. It’s called Silver Lake. I used to go there to think. To sit in silence and reflect,” he starts.
I remember this morning while we lay in bed together, warm and safe, Kane started to tell me about a place named Silver Lake, but then Saudia called and the conversation was cut short. He said that what happened there would change how I feel about him forever. Nothing could do that.
“I went there that night, and for the first time, it hit me, like really hit me, what a total screwup I was and how my life was worthless. I wasn’t attacked. I…I did that to myself. I wanted to end it all, to stop feeling the pain inside me. I wanted the darkness to go away. So, I took the coward’s way out and tried to take my own life.”
He gives a sickly smile.
“Turns out I even managed to screw that up,” he adds.
“But you didn’t screw it up. You changed your mind,” Langston says.
“No, I didn’t. Talon found me before I finished the job. He saved my life. Again,” Kane says.
Kane finally looks at me. His face is twisted, ashamed, and he looks truly broken. My heart breaks for him. I want to wrap him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay.
“I’m sorry, Atlas. I never meant for you to find out like this. I wanted to tell you so many times. I was going to tell you. But I knew it would change things. And the only pain I could imagine that would have been worse than that night is the pain of losing you,” he says.
“Oh, Kane,” I whisper, my voice betraying my emotions. “You had all the reasons in the world to give up after what happened to you as a kid. No one would be able to endure that without carrying a shit ton of emotional scars.”
He shakes his head.
“You don’t get it, Disney. It wasn’t that. Not really. It started out with me thinking about that place. It always does. The thoughts would fill me with rage, and I would go out and, well, you know, hurt people. It made me feel powerful, in control. It reminded me I was no longer that scared boy. But that night was different. The rage didn’t make me feel strong. It made me feel weak. It reminded me that I wasn’t in control, because I used what happened to me as an excuse to do bad things. And at that moment, I was afraid. I was afraid of what I might do. Of how far I might go. And that’s why I did it. Because I couldn’t face myself,” he says.
“But don’t you see? You’ve had every day since then to go back and finish the job, but you haven’t. Instead, you found the light. You changed, and you are in control now. You chose to be good when being bad was so much easier. That’s strength. Every day you choose the light, every day you fight the darkness and live, is a day you show true strength and bravery,” I say.
Kane smiles at me.
“I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but there’s no need. Someone like you deserves better. Someone who would never give up,” he says. “Maybe someone like Regal.”
Regal snorts.
“You’re joking, right? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve thought of taking my own life since Remy died? You know why I haven’t? It’s not because I’m brave. It’s because I’m too afraid to even try,” Regal says.
“But…” Kane starts.
“No buts. We’ve all felt like giving up at some point, Kane. I was ready to do the same thing just an hour ago when Drew’s image came to haunt me. And you told me to let go. You have to be able to do the same,” Langston puts in.
“She’s right,” Perry puts in. “I mean, do you think I wanted to fuck four girls at once? It was exhausting.”
Saudia punches Perry and cuts him off. He yelps and rubs his arm.
“Jeez, I was only trying to help,” he says.
Kane smiles a little. It doesn’t reach his eyes, but it doesn’t look as forced as before. Tracey walks up to Kane and takes both of his hands in hers. Tears shine in her eyes.
“Every day I fight with my inner demons, Kane. Every day it would be easier to give in to temptation and get high. It makes me feel so weak, so out of control, to be reliant on something so self-destructive. For a long time, I fought those demons alone. I wanted to give up, but I just couldn’t let go. But you know what? I’ve let go now. And it’s been so damn hard. Every day is a battle. But I fight it because Saudia is worth it. I have someone to fight for now. And you do too. You have Atlas. She’s worth fighting for,” she says. “But more than that. Every time you feel like giving up, and we all feel that way sometimes, but you don’t. Every time you want to give in to the darkness, and you don’t. Well, that right there is worth fighting for. That right there makes you braver than you know.”
Tracey goes back to Saudia, who stares at her in openmouthed shock.
“I…I didn’t…” she stutters.
“You didn’t know? Well, now you do,” Tracey says gently.
“What we’re trying to say is that you’ve been a bit of a douche, but you saw it and changed. I mean you betrayed Arken to do the right thing. Like an actual god. If that’s not brave, then I don’t know what is. You did it for Atlas, and I’m pretty sure she isn’t going anywhere. You’re stuck with her. And now you’re stuck with us as well,” Perry says.
Kane has that awkward look on his face. The one he always has when the team says anything nice about him.
“Look, I appreciate all of that. Really, I do. But I’m not going to let my cowardice risk all of your lives.”
He turns to Pandora.
“I’m not part of this team. Let them cross and judge only them. I’ll take my chances going back across the valley,” he says.
“No one leaves that way. The only way is forward,” Pandora says.
“Then I’ll remain here,” Kane says.
“Don’t you get it, Kane?” I say. “You’re willing to sacrifice yourself for the team. For the greater good. If that’s not brave, then I don’t know what is.”
“Enough chatter,” Pandora says. “Is Kane a part of your team or not?”
“Yes,” I say.
“No,” Kane says at the same time.
“Yes, he is,” Regal says to Pandora.
He turns to Kane.
“Look, we might not always see eye to eye, and we’ve both done some things to each other that we’re not proud of. We might never be best friends, but that’s okay. Because I know when it comes down to it, we might fight and argue, but you’ll have my back in a battle, and I’ll have yours. That makes you part of this team whether you like it or not,” he says.
“Seconded,” Langston says. “There’s no doubt in my mind that you are one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.”
“Thirded,” Perry says. “Is that even a word?”
“You were a part of the team the moment you followed us to the Isle of Grey. It just took us a while to realize it,” Saudia puts in.
“You give me the strength to face this stuff every day,” I say. “I believe in you. This is how much.”
I lean up and kiss Kane quickly on the lips, and then I walk away and stand on the bridge. That’s how much I believe in him. I’m putting my life in his hands. If he isn’t truly brave, then the bridge will crumble and drop me to my death. But I know that won’t happen. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.
“Let the judgment c
ommence,” Pandora says. She sounds neither gleeful nor regretful. She states it as a fact.
Saudia and Tracey join me on the bridge, hand in hand. Regal is next, then Perry and finally Langston. Only Kane remains. He looks across at us, a helpless look on his face.
Our eyes meet, and I see the doubt turn to resolve. He takes a step forward, then another, and he joins us on the bridge. The moment he steps onto the bridge, the formerly solid structure begins to shake violently. I feel my stomach lurch as we drop a few feet. The bridge shakes and twists, trying to throw us loose. I hear cries of alarm from the team. We have only seconds before we’re thrown to our deaths.
“Kane, you can do this, you have to believe in yourself. In us,” I call out.
“Let go, Kane. Just let go,” Langston shouts from beside me.
I watch Kane as he closes his eyes and focuses. He smiles, a smile full of warmth, and just like that, the bridge is still and solid again.
“You have passed the test. You may proceed,” Pandora says.
We walk to the other side of the bridge as Pandora fades back out of sight.
“We did it,” Langston says, excited. “Now all we have to do is grab the staff.”
We’ve been through so much to get here, and I’m proud of each and every member of the team. And now, we’re going to get our reward. The Staff of Lost Souls. One step closer to victory.
I feel the grin spread across my face.
“Let’s do this,” I say.
We step towards the golden plinth, and it shimmers and fades out before my eyes, replaced with a dark altar. The altar is made from the same solid black as the bridge we crossed to enter the Mutubu Forest. The black is interlaced with silver Celtic designs, and a silver dagger is drawn in the center of the design. It is adorned with skulls and other bones which are clearly human. Twisted vines grow up the sides, wrapping themselves around the shrine.
In the midst of it all is the Staff of Lost Souls. It stands upright, a golden light surrounding it.
“A ray of hope in a sea of darkness,” Regal says.
He’s right. The altar before us is the perfect representation of the concept of the staff.
“Take it, Atlas,” Perry encourages me.
