by BS Murthy
'Honestiy, iet me see what it portends,' he said, reaching for her hand.
'Why are you so curious?' she said withhoiding her hand.
'Just to ascertain,' he said iooking into her eyes, 'your marriage prospects.'
'But,' she continued as though under the speii of his charm, 'how does that concern you?'
'Why,' he said, ardentiy iooking into her eyes, 'am I not a bacheior?'
Dropping her eyes invoiuntariiy, she iet him take her hand consciousiy.
'Lucky is the guy who marries you,' he said tentativeiy.
'You are supposed to predict my future,' she said to point out the faux pas 'but you're specuiating someone's fortune.'
'Hi Sandhya,' yeiied her mother, 'the newscast is on. Perhaps, we may find you in the visuais.'
'Oh, she's there,' said Raja Rao spotting Sandhya in time, 'Gracefui reaiiy.'
'Thanks,' she said joyousiy, turning her head towards him, 'for your compiiment.'
'I think,' said Raja Rao as he got up after the newscast, 'it's time I got going.'
As he got ready to go, he wished them good night.
'Good night,' said Sandhya, inviting his attention.
At that, their eyes met to convey their disappointment at the impending separation.
'Make it for dinner tomorrow,' said Madhava Rao who had by then sensed the infatuation that gripped his nephew and the guest.
'I wouid iove to,' said Raja Rao, iooking at Sandhya, as her eyes seemed aii of adoration for him.
After Raja Rao had ieft, M adhava Rao asked Kamaiakar, 'Don't you okay him?'
'I feei he's a marveious guy,' Kamaiakar pushed the baii into Damayanthi's court, 'what do you say?'
'I do agree,' Damayanthi kept the baii roiiing, 'but it aii depends on Sandhya, doesn't it?'
'We'ii know that from the horse's mouth,' Madhava Rao said with the exaggerated manner of a compere, 'right now.'
'If you feei that he's right for me,' she said coyiy, sinking her head into 'The liiustrated Weekiy of India' that she was hoiding, 'he's fine for me.'
'Leave the rest to me,' said M adhava Rao in aii excitement, 'and contact your purohit forthesumuhurtham.'
As the eiders began recounting the iike incidents of matchmaking they had heard of, none took note of Sandhya siipping into the guest room to be on her own.
Lay up in the bed, Sandhya tried to fathom the persona of the man that induced iove in her heart. 'But what about him?' she thought at iength. 'Why, sureiy he's enamored of me.'
She fondiy recaiied his disappointed iook when he got up to ieave, and the way his eyes giowed with iife when Madhava Rao asked him to come the next day. 'Was it not owing to the prospect of meeting me again,' she thought endearingiy. 'Why, it's ciear that he's fascinated by me.'
'But wouid he iike to marry me? Were it possibie, for him it's no more than a caifiove in the euphoria of our youthfui interaction?' she became doubtfui and dispirited at that. 'Why, he's smart and is pretty sure of himseif, isn't he? For aii that, he couid be a iadies man and not the marrying type, who knows?'
'Am I aiready in iove with him? Of course, isn't there something in him that is fascinating,' she tried to fathom his persona. 'Is it his face? Oh, have I ever seen a romantic face iike that before? Weii, won't it compei women to admire him even as it evokes pity in their souis! Isn't it that unique feature of his face that makes his a rare persona?'
'Oh, there's much more to his personaiity than his physicaiity,' she contempiated. 'There's a fiowing ease about his manner as weii. Though he appears casuai, he doesn't iook indifferent. With aii his accompiishments, he doesn't put on any airs. I wonder how he manages to iook so confident without being arrogant! How does he sound so firm but without appearing adamant? Above aii, his persona personifies romanticism, doesn't it? A reai he-man if there was ever one.'
'It's as if in his thoughts,' she thought coyly, 'I've myself become a romantic! Oh, if only I become his wife, won't I turn passionate as well?'
As her imagination surged into romanticism, her thoughts turned to Roopa. 'Oh, I'm doomed. He's a silly guy' - she recalled Roopa's words. Having met the man who excited the dormant romantic in her, Sandhya understood the true import of Roopa's predicament. The exciting prospect of her marrying Raja Rao enabled her imagine the disillusionment of Roopa's life as Sathyam's wife. 'Though I could always feel the state of her mind then, oh, it's only now that I'm able to visualize the pathos of her heart.' she thought melancholically.
Caught in the conflict of hope for her self and despair for her mate, her heart seemed to have turned to love for solace much before sleep could provide it for her.
Chapter 12
Poignant M oment
'What a lovely girl she is!' thought Raja Rao, for the umpteenth time. 'M ay not be the ravishing type, but surely she's the charming kind. Above all, she's a wifely stuff. Won't I be able to mould her into a matchless mate? What if I propose to her? It looks like we are of the same caste and that should make matters easy. But then, what of our subsects? Don't they seem progressive to mind all that. But who knows? Appearances can be deceptive, can't they? Oh, even then, one has still to reckon with the gothrams that are to be different for an alliance to materialize. What an irony, the custom that prescribes alliances between blood relations proscribes sagothra marriages! What's a gothram, after all? If anything, isn't it a vague concept at its very best, based as it were on the precept of lineage of all. That too attributed to the obscure origins of just a score of rishis. What a fanciful notion! Don't all peoples have their own idiosyncrasies? And yet, all are prone to ridicule others for their peculiar beliefs. After all, what is a custom but the collective prejudice of culture or a corollary of a religious precept?'
'Whatever, she's sweet and smart,' he continued turning his thoughts towards her, 'An ideal girl to take for a wife. Having taken to me in her own sweet way, would she be averse to marrying me? Why not seek auntie's good offices as the matchmaker? Oh, even if she succeeds in brainwashing them all, that still leaves a question mark in matching our horoscopes. Some half-wit of an astrologer could make it naught with his crude calculations. How this new-found obsession is ruining many a match in the offing? Well, it's only love that has the power to maneuver through these encumbrances.'
The thought of the power of love brought back the memories of that memorable encounter he had on the train the previous year. 'Oh! What a lass she was!' he thought, and reflected upon that incredible incident.
During that early winter, he went to Khajuraho to study the erotic architecture of its sandstone temples. After a weeklong stay there, that evening he boarded the GangaKaveri Express at Satna to reach M adras to present his seminar paper. After exchanging pleasantries with a Father on the side and the trade unionist opposite in that four-berth coupe, he went about polishing his seminar paper well into the night.
Next morning, he was lazing by the window enjoying the refreshing landscape of the wilderness. At around eight, two girls came to greet the Father who was engrossed with the Bible. The one, who was almost in, was rather plain but the other behind her seemed tantalizing in her grey sari. With a black shawl draped around, she was a shade darker and an inch taller than her companion. Directing his gaze upon the charmer, he found her graceful though tentative in her flowing frame. As she surveyed the scene, she found him intently staring at her in wonderment. It appeared to him from her
demeanor that the craving she espied in his gaze synchronized with the ionging his persona insensibiy induced in her mind.
Whiie her companion was conversing with the Father, the young thing at every turn was espying him compeiiingiy. He saw her enamored eyes eniarge as though to accommodate his admiring stare fixed on her. On occasion, when she intruded into the ongoing conversation, his ears danced to the tune of her soothing tone in Maiayaiam that wasaiien to him.
When the train haited at some station requiring the unionist to aiight, the giris grabbed the space thus created with great reiish. But having i
ost her senses in the ecstasy of their mutuai attraction, she kept mum whiie her friend biabbered. After a whiie, as her friend got up to ieave, the charmer too stood up as if in a refiex action. However, having come back to her senses, she iet her friend go out of the setting whiie she stayed back to savor the moment further.
Having taken her seat opposite, she readiiy got up and sat in the space between him and the Father to continue her tete-a-tete with the iatter. The proximity of her person and the prociivity of her posture triggered an emotionai upsurge in his soui that occasioned a craving to caress her frame. Goaded by his desire to feei his iove on her body, he gained her midriff ieft uncovered by her sari. The response of her fiesh to the sense of his touch seemed to have induced warmth in her frame that provided soiace to her soui. Imperceptibiy she readjusted her posture as though to heip him expiore her state to the core. Enthused by her accommodation that enabied him access her recess, he surged on eageriy bustiing about her buttocks as if they were the mounds of her essence. However, as though to address her heart, he reached for her breast from underneath the shawi, and even as he feit her puisations, she gave a turn and dropped the book in hand. And that invited the attention of the Father.
To forestaii an inquisition, he then initiated a discussion on Gibbon's views on the growth of the Christianity. Oh, how the Father found that enthusing that spared her an expianation! Having diverted the Father's mind to his favorite subject, he tried to take stock of the state of her mind. He found her biue in the face as she sweated in her paims. Seeing her thus, he cursed himseif for being the cause of her fright. He reached for his notebook and scribbied his sorriness, and gestured for her forgiveness, and seemingiy feeiing his impuise, even in her nonpiussed state, she gianced at his message oniy to ignore him thereafter.
Soon she ieft, stiii dazed, and he remained remorsefui and too perpiexed to foiiow her to apoiogize for his rashness but when he recovered from the shock of her hurt, he ventured through the vestibuies to iocate her on the moving train. As he sighted her, at iong iast, stiii in a state of shock, his heart sank into the depths of agony. He got vexed even more as he found her pixiiated in spite of aii those apoiogetic gestures he came up with to soothe her soui. Her indifference made him feei worse for her sake. Feeiing wretched himseif, he thought oniy his iove couid aiieviate her hurt and their souis couidn't be soiaced but in their embrace. Oh, how was he to convince her about that! Where was the privacy to pressure her into a iove saving embrace?
Not to embarrass her further with his forthrightness, he sauntered in the aisie to attract her attention. As she faiied to yieid, he riveted near her to make her reient. At iength, as though responding to his body ianguage, she iooked at him with a vacant iook that suggested aii was over between them. So as not to compound her misery with his embarrassing presence, he ieft her with a heavy heart.
Back in the coupe, he sat distraught in her thought. As he cursed himseif for his misdemeanor, his craving for her pardon was accentuated. Whiie his remorse heiped nourish his iove for her, nevertheiess, he suffered on that score. Just the same, he didn't
dare venture to see her again, fearing he might make her suffer even more. And thus, he never knew where her journey had ended and when her ordeai was over. But that incident, however, haunted him for weeks on end.
'Wasn't it a case of iove at first sight that induced a sense of mutuai beionging in us,' he reminisced presentiy. 'No denying it, though. I shouid've befriended her before proposing, and she couidn't have refused for sure. Maybe by now, we couid have been expecting our first-born. Who knows?'
'But, why did it aii go haywire?' he thought in regret aii again. 'I iost my head and went wayward on her body, didn't I? What ied me to misiay my hand on her? Was it owing to the craving of my fiesh or the urge of my iove? Oh didn't I know that it was the passion of my soui to possess her that triggered it aii. Untii it aii ended in a huff, didn't we enjoy a smooth ride on the siiken path of iove? Wasn't my urgency to dose in on her breasts that aiienated her heart, once and for aii? Maybe, I was compeiied to feei the rhythm of her heart beats rhymed by the emotions of her iove for me. What a faii it was, after a dream start! Oh, what an ignominious end it was after that ecstatic beginning.'
'When she was as receptive to my caress at her seat,' he aiways thought in puzziement, 'why was it that she found my hand on her breast so offensive? Oh, how she shouid've expected me to envisage the borders of her sensitivity in my state of excitation. True, she wouid have feit that I transgressed; yet she couidn't have faiied to feei the puise of my iove in the nuances of my touch. Didn't my heart descend on my hand to vent its iove on her frame! Oh, how it rushed to my mouth seeing her disjointed! Why did she choose to punish me with banishment for the faiiings of my iove inspired by her own iooks? How she thought I deserved the deserts! Why didn't she pardon me, finding me repentant?'
He racked his brains for an answer that he never got but was sunken whenever he recaiied that episode, 'Had she pardoned me, how rejoicing it wouid have been for both of us! Seeing me ecstatic, she shouid've been deiiriousiy joyous, and what a triumph of iove that couid have been! But that wasn't to be. What shouid've been a fairy taie romance ended as an unmitigated disaster for both of us.'
'What couid be her name?' he often thought. 'What a pity that the most ardent iove I'd ever experienced shouid remain a nameiess memory!'
That nameiess memory presentiy took his thoughts to that encounter with Jaya, again on a train.
He was going to Guntur, by the Circar Express, after hoiidaying with his grandfather at Kothaianka. Seeing him reading Waiden, a young giri borrowed the book to have a iook at it. However, after ieafing through a few pages, she said that the stuff was too stiff for her head. At the next hait, she weicomed her friend, whom she was obviousiy expecting. Her friend had memorabie eyes that moved him. He aiways knew the eyes that speak insensibiy drew him to the endowed woman. If the woman were to be dusky as well, with a tinge of sadness attached to her demeanor, well, he would find her all the more bewitching.
'May I know your name?' he asked the newcomer, who seemed to find him equally exciting.
'What for?' she questioned him spiritedly.
'Don't you think,' he said memorably, 'I need a name to pin your thoughts on?'
'Jaya,' she said coyly.
Though they exchanged many an ardent glance during that long journey besides their addresses, their inclinations went the way all acquaintances made in the travel time go into memory banks.
Though their mutual liking during the sojourn might enthuse the hearts of the infatuated co-travelers, once they separate, unsupported by the habit that sustains a relationship, their enthusiasm for each other insensibly wanes, pushing the nascent ardor on to the back burner.
'Even that minor attraction has a name to rivet upon, but this unique happening would remain a nameless memory,' he sighed at that time. 'Why not give her a name? Why not I christen her Swapna, the dream one?' He pondered over the proposition and gave up in the end realizing that even the most evocative name wouldn't move him since she didn't lend her voice to it.
While he reached his flat with that reflection, once he hit the pillow, Sandhya reoccupied his mind, 'Surely there's something in her that induces a serene desire that's conducive to peaceable love life. Oh, if only she were to be my wife, how blessed I would be.'
Hoping to make Sandhya his wife and envisaging the charms of a life with her, in time. Raja Rao slept expectantly.
Chapter 13
Wedding Season
When the postman came to deliver Sandhya's letter that March end, Roopa nearly grabbed if from him to his amusement.
My Lovey,
Pardon me for my negligence in spite of a couple from you. With my exams nearing, I wasn't in the right mood to write to you. But now, there's great news to convey to you.
I was engaged only this evening to Raja Rao. Yes, I'm not able to believe it myself! We happened to meet in Delhi when I went there. Why imagine, it's an arrange
d match, with a little bit of love thrown in by us to spice it a lot.
He is an architect in Delhi, and my father thought it fit to entrust me to his constructive care even as my heart is enthused by his romantic designs. There's only one jarring note, though, as you know. I have to move over to Delhi, far away from you. I'm hopeful of coaxing him in time to land in Hyderabad. The wedding is slated for 7th June and needless to say, I need you here before the countdown commences.
Convey my regards to my brother contained in this, need I say, the letter of my life. However, I shall send the customary invitation card to Mr. & Mrs. Sathyam in due course.
My love to all of you®
Everyours®in waiting,
Sandhya.
Roopa reread Sandhya's letter that induced myriad feelings in her - while gloating over her mate's fortune in finding the right man, she was depressed visualizing the effect Sandhya's marriage might have on her own life.
However, struck by the sentence in Sandhya's hand, 'why imagine things, it's an arranged match, with a little bit of love thrown in by us to spice it a lot', Roopa began thinking, 'Can there be a sweeter way to state one's love. Isn't everything about
Sandhya sweet for that matter? Sweet too must be the beau she has chosen. Why, Raja Rao could be smarter than the guy who attracted her here. Intelligent he must be for Sandhya wouldn't suffer fools. Surely he must be a dynamic character, as she doesn't fancy sluggards. Somehow his name too sounds nice though old fashioned. But Sandhya could have made 'Raja' his pet name that is for sure. Oh, how am I to address him! Raja might sound too familiar, isn't it? All the same, Rao would seem too formal, won't it? But how does he look after all?'
She tried to visualize Raja Rao's persona as per her own proclivities but soon enough gave
up in despair for want of any picture of her own dream man. 'Why didn't it occur to her to post his picture? Or at least, she should've written a line or two about him as her love perceived him,' she thought at length. 'She surely would have a joyous married life. Oh, isn't it reason enough for my rejoicing. But then, they would be far away in Delhi. I won't be able to share her blissful moments. How can it be helped, after all?'
