by BS Murthy
'How do you do?' he said looking at her longingly.
'Pulling on,' she mumbled, unable to come to terms with his unexpected arrival.
'It's been so long since we last met,' he said as he sat down.
'It's over seven months,' she sighed as she said, 'and I thought you'd forgotten me.'
'Why so?' he said in protest.
'You wouid know if oniy you're a woman.'
'Being a man,' he said dejectediy, 'it's none the better for me.'
'Don't you thinkyou shouid oniy biameyourseif for that,' she sounded critical in spite herself.
'But why?' he exclaimed in pain.
'For having prefixed forgetfulness to your maleness.'
'How can you say that?' he protested haplessly.
'Why, you didn't come to see me as promised then, did you?' she said as the bitterness his earlier failure to meet her overtook the sweetness, his presence occasioned.
'You would never know,' he said as his tone got the measure of his frustration, as he recalled his state of mind in which he had to leave for Bangalore that day, 'how desperate I was to meet you then.'
'Where there is a will,' she said still smarting under the hurt of the perceived let down, 'there is a way, isn't there?'
'Believe me Roopa, there was no way I could have come to see you. I had to catch the train on the move as it were,' he said, and added after a pause. 'I even thought of writing to you, but I couldn't bring myself to do that.'
'You should've written,' she said in the same vein, 'and that would have made so much difference to me.'
'Roopa,' he said with a pleading tone, 'why don't you understand me?'
'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said as her love, aided by the presence of her lover, abetted her mind to overpower the bitterness it bore.
'Let bygones be bygones,'
'I felt like pouring out my pain to you,' she said, 'Go have your bath.'
'I would rather wait for Sathyam,' he said as he came out of the bathroom, finding her ready with dinner and all.
'Why, do you want us to starve till he returns from his four-day tour or what?' she said smiling. 'Think of it, what a coincidence that he was away when you first came with Sandhya!'
But then, how were she to know about Sathyam's peccadilloes at Peddapuram on that supposedly official trip. Besides, at the threshold of the golden moment of her life, even if she were aware of it then, maybe, she couldn't have cared less.
'Oh, I see,' he said tentatively. 'I thought I could stay here for a couple of days.'
'Why,' she said smilingly, 'do you think I would show you the door after dinner?'
'I didn't mean it that way,' he said a little confounded.
'But I mean to tell you everything,' she said getting up from the dining chair. 'Let me have my bath before that.'
'Probably, it's all over between us bar sighing,' he thought pensively, sinking into a dining chair. 'Hasn't she said that my letter would have made so much difference to her? Oh, does that not imply that I have lost out to Prasad? Is it any consolation that I
was her first choice? What if her current concern the courtesy of her past feeiings? Or is her friendiiness owing to my being Sandhya's husband? What sense does the reiocation to Hyderabad make for me? Won't I feei miserabie seeing her adoring someone eise? What sort of a reward it wouid be for my unrequited iove for her if Prasad were to turn up now. Won't that embarrass us aii, and what's worse, my presence might iead to a misunderstanding between them. I better pack up after dinner for it's not fair to spoii her party with her paramour. How stupid I am to iose a woman iike her when she couid have been mine for the asking!'
'Isn't it Godsend,' thought Roopa in reiief, making use of the soap he had used, even as she recaiied the bath of fetish she had had with his soap during his first visit to her piace. 'Have I not been waiting for this day aii my iife? Oh, finaiiy my destiny seems to have kept its date with him! I'ii make him mine even if it comes to raping him, won't I? How we couid induige in iovemaking day and night for three days at a stretch. Weii, without a care in the worid. How fortuitous that he came at a time when Prasad too went on a foreign jaunt! Maybe, I can't expect him to take the initiative, couid I? It's clear that his passion for me is kicking and alive though shrouded in hesitancy. If only I ignite his urge, won't he engulf me with his ardor?'
'Why not I wait till he advances,' she thought having developed second thoughts about her own abashment. 'Oh no, if I fail to lead him, won't he take me to be a flirt and dismiss me forever? If I don't let him have me now, I might as well forget about him in this life. Come what may, I shall grab this chance of a lifetime, now and here, with both hands at that. Won't he keep me in his embrace as I lay there in coyness forever? Haven't I suffered enough to deserve the solace of his love? Have I any stomach left for misery, anymore?'
When they sat for dinner, she served him silently as if the distraction of their conversation would hamper his eating. However, construing her contemplative mood as a proof of her embarrassment, he felt depressed at the tragedy of his own making.
When they rose from the table, sensing his predicament, she opened the gambit giving him pan, 'I'm glad you've come home this time, did Sandhya prevail upon you?'
'You know Sandhya is at Kakinada?' he said as her words rekindled his hope. 'I've come to see you.'
'I'm flattered really,' she said spreading her hands, 'and I welcome you ever more for that.'
'Tell me,' finding her gesture inviting, he played his move, to probe her position.
'About what?' she feigned ignorance.
'About you.' he said lovingly.
'Are you blind not to see it for yourself,' she said coyly.
'You look a little pulled down.'
'Didn't I tell you?' she said, 'I'm just pulling on.'
'Sandhya wrote to me,' he said hesitantly, 'that you're having a hard time.'
'Do you think Sathyam's neglect and Prasad's pestering could bother me really,' she said as though showing her cards. 'They are just allergies. But my ailment is different.'
'M ay I know,' he said sensing her mood, 'if it's not personal.'
'I always thought,' she said coyly, 'that you knew it well.'
'But then,' he said with rising hope, 'can one conclude from his own diagnosis.'
'Why not take a second opinion?' she said as if she were begging to be asked by him.
'Teii me then,' he said to reach out for the approaching moment.
'Didn't you hear my body ianguage!' she said.
'But stiii..' he was at a ioss how to respond.
'Maybe you need even more privacy to express yourseif,' she said as she went into the bedroom in apparent invitation for him to cross the threshoid
'Thank God, my fears seem to be iiars,' he feit ecstatic. 'Is she not expecting me to break the ice and thaw it out? Why, hasn't she ieft enough hints aiready about that? After aii her advances, does it make any sense for me to hoid back now? Oh, in the entire path of iove, the steps that iead up to sex are the most siippery, one faise step and it couid make man siip out of woman's favor, forever. Aii the same, if he were not to venture, how couid it ever resuit in an adventure? What eise a iover couid do than to enter into his beioved's orbit of famiiiarity? Then, won't she suck him into the arena of her favors? Where eise one can find a better jaunt for that than the precincts of her bedroom?'
Even as Raja Rao began to stir in hope, ieaving the door ajar, Roopa started shedding her sari. 'Why cover myseif when he's coveting me,' she feit amused as she undressed ianguidiy as if to aiiow him time to catch her in the act. When she became stark naked, she turned towards the door oniy to find it stiii ajar. Reaching her wardrobe then, she puiied the nyion iingerie that she earmarked for the occasion in aii her anticipation, and fondiing it iovingiy, she wore it ieisureiy. In time, she was in front of the mirror thinking amusediy, 'Won't it reveai my mind to him besides my body. It's time I find out.'
When Roopa was about to puii open the door. Raja Rao pushed it ope
n for her.
'I iove you,' he took her hand.
'I'm lovesick,' she said pressing against him, 'I need treatment.'
'Oh, how I've been dying for you,' he said, lifting her head and looking into her eyes with all his longing.
'I wonder how I didn't turn mad in my craving for you,' she said holding him deliriously.
'I felt wretched fearing I might have lost you,' he said tightening his hold on her.
'I was worried to death that I may not make it with you,' she said as she began to sob.
'Roopa, don't cry,' he said as he kissed her tears. 'Now I am yours forever.'
'Longing for this moment,' she said cuddling him, 'how I became an urchin of love.'
'I always felt your love in the pulsations of my heart,' he caressed her head even as she wetted his shoulder.
But when he felt her heavy, realizing that she had fainted, gliding her tenderly, he put her on her bed, and rushed for water.
'Are you okay, my darling?' he asked her, as she opened her eyes.
'Come on, feel for yourself,' she stretched her hands, inviting him into her embrace.
'I've always felt you are mine,' he rested his head on her ample breasts, turned heady by her heaving.
'You'll never know how I craved to be yours,' she said, running her fingers through his curly hair.
'Ever since we've met,' he said pushing his head into her enticing vaiiey, 'I aiways feit my iife wouid be haif empty without you.'
'You know how scared I was about ieading a ioveiess iife,' she pressed him into her, further.
'I'ii give you so much iove that you can spare as much as you want to Sathyam,' he said enigmaticaiiy.
'I can never iove him,' she said dismissiveiy. 'Moreover, he doesn't need my iove any more. Anyway, I couid never think of ioving anyone but you.'
'Roopa, you know I iove you,' he said, 'but stiii it's oniy a part of our iife - yours as weii as mine - and that is the reaiity of our iife. If you are not happy in your home, there is no way I can be cooi in my house. Of what avaii is our iove if it won't bring happiness to our iives. If not for his sake, at ieast for our sake, iove your husband and make him happy so that we can be happier ourseives.'
She sat up eiectrified, and smothered him with kisses.
'Oh Raja,' she cried in ecstasy, 'I've always felt that I loved the right man, but now I know that I've a noble soul for a lover. I promise you dear that for your sake, I shall love him as much as I possibly could.'
'I'm glad really,' he kissed her hand.
'I love you,' she cried, rubbing her face against his, 'more than I love my self.'
'Roopa, I can never picture my pleasure in loving you,' he said gripping her all the more, 'and the pain I felt wanting you.'
'I'll give you every joy that a woman could give her man,' she said, reaching for his lips.
'You would find me more than reciprocating,' he said, after a kiss that both felt had lasted a lifetime.
While he was fondling her adoringly, suddenly, she jumped up onto the bed, and as she dropped her lingerie languidly, he watched her mesmerically.
'Oh, how your gaze makes me feel nude in your presence as well as in my thoughts!' she cried in ecstasy. 'I had fantasized about our lovemaking so much that I don't feel shy anymore.'
'I'd never imagined,' he said sizing her up in nude, 'that a five meter sari could have hidden so much of a beauty! What a fabulous figure you have, my darling!'
'I dreamt a thousand dreams in which every inch of me gave you joy,' she said ecstatically, as he kneeled up to her in embrace.
'What a beautiful bush,' he said, caressing her in ecstasy.
'It's on fire to warm my dear,' she said joyously.
'Oh, what a scent,' he said euphoniously.
'You may find it's tasty too,' she said coyly, ruffling his hair.
'Why, haven't you been told?' he said raising his head.
'Orals 'I've reserved for our lovemaking,' she said pressing him to her declivity all again.
'What a honeycomb it is!' he said in delight, pausing.
'Drain it to the dregs,' she cried rapturously.
'What a love it is Roopa,' he said to her at length.
'It's all about my life darling,' she said pressing his head into her once again.
'You're my wife no less,' he sputtered.
'Hubby dear husband your ardor,' she said pulling him away.
'What amorousness,' he said ecstatically as she herself fell on him libidinously.
'Let me have my mouthful too,' she took him greedily.
'Oh, how all my fantasies pale before how your fare!' he said dreamily.
'Haven't I worn my mouth by half for that,' she muttered, 'oh, how I practiced with the dummies for this day?'
'You know how to love a man,' he said affectionately, caressing her back.
'Courtesy your manliness,' she said, reaching for his hairy chest.
'Roopa how fortunate we both are,' he said caressing her back.
'But Raja,' she said, unable to get over her bitterness of her past suffering, 'how wretched it was till now.'
'Won't we make it all the sweeter for that,' he said reaching up to her lips.
As though to draw the nectar of love to sustain her nascent life, grabbing his eager lips with her throbbing ones, she deep-kissed him
'I'll ensure,' he said as she freed his lips, 'you're fulfilled forever.'
'Know that I've only lived wanting to be yours,' she said kissing his hand.
'I've never seen any so sumptuous,' he said, fondling her breasts. 'How they've been haunting me ever since I saw you last June.'
'How my hands ached squeezing them for you,' she joined him in the act.
'Don't I owe it to them then,' he kissed her palms.
'Take it,' she pushed her breast into his eager mouth.
'Splendid,' he sputtered.
'Bite,' she crooned in his ear.
'M addening,' he said, as he took the other one.
'Pocking,' she crooned, licking his ear.
'Roopa,' he said in ecstasy.
'M ake me yours,' she said in want.
'Have me then,' he said with urge.
'Inaugurate,' she said, as she pushed up her bottom to him.
'What a seat to take!' he knelt behind her in ecstasy.
'It's nuptial for it,' she helped him penetrate her.
'How it came true!' he cried in joy.
'Oh, lovely!' she moaned in pain.
'Never better,' he cried with pleasure
'Go to the roots,' she said, pushing herself all the closer to him.
'Oh, you're mine,' he said joyously.
'Give me more,' she said greediiy.
'Roopa,' he moaned at iength.
'Oh, you've injected iife into me,' she cried in reiief
'Oh God, how good,' he said iaying motioniess on her.
'I don't mind dying now,' she ciasped him as they came to rest.
'Oh, what a iife!' he crooned into her ears.
'Just king size,' she exciaimed. 'How I wish Sandhya sees us mate.'
'How my queen mates think about each other even as they mate their men!' he said, patting her feeiingiy, and narrated to Roopa's joyous ears as to how Sandhya never ceased thinking about her aii through their honeymoon.
'Lesbian iike, isn't it?' she said mirthfuiiy.
'Or even more,' he said admiringiy. 'Weii, keep it up.'
She got up to switch on the geyser and when she returned, they went about scanning each other, admiring the charms of their frames that occasioned their emotionai integration. In their bath that foiiowed, he soaped her breasts admiringiy, and said, 'What a size!'
'Why, the cup hasn't changed since,' she teased him, as she pointed at the ciothesiine
'What a romantic spy you are,' he said smiiing, squeezing them both.
'If oniy you had me then!' she sighed, resting on him.
'I thought for iong but gave up in the end,' he said, and expiained what aii h
e had contempiated then.
'Raja, why didn't you grab me then?' she cried in his embrace. 'Unsure of your iove, oh, what suffering it was? Aii through, I was torn apart by the hope of iove and the despair of passion. But as if to compound the miseries of my iife and the diiemmas of my iove, came in Prasad to push me into a iiaison. Even as I was attracted to him, being in iove with you, I feit ashamed of myseif, and the more I was fiattered by his attentions, the more I suffered in guiit. But as he began to charm me with his passion, in despair, I ciung on to my iove for you. Weii, I aiways wanted to give myseif heart and soui to you, and you aione. How I used to wish every night that you wouid come storming into my iife.'
'Roopa, forget about aii that,' he kissed her to assure her, 'I'ii ensure you have no cause for worry anymore.'
'Though I shudder to think about the past now,' she buried herseif into his chest. 'The pain I've had has made this pieasure even more intense. Don't ever ieave me dariing. Now I'ii die without you.'
'Can I imagine my iife without you,' he said, iifting her head. 'You'ii be in my arms tiii I breathe my iast.'
'I'ii iive by your promise,' she said taking his hand.
'Hoid your breath,' he said fondiing her hand. 'I'm going to shift here soon.'
Like a chiid in disbeiief, she asked him to repeat himseif and sank back into his embrace seeking soiace.
'Listen,' he crooned into her ear, as if to cajoie her subconsciousness, 'I'ii be here soon, never to part again.'
'Oh, I may die of happiness,' she hugged him tightiy, and said coyiy, 'When is that?'
'Next month itseif,' he whispered, as if it were a secret for her ears oniy.
'That means' she said, cupping him at the source of her joy, 'the Don wouid be on doubieduty.'
'Won't it be doubiy biessed then? What a rare fortune?' he said joyousiy.
'What if Sandhya comes to know?' she said worried.
'Doesn't she iove us enough to rejoice at our love,' he said dreamily.
'Then, why not put her into the loop straightaway?' she said looking at him expectantly.
'Wait for a while for it's no good jolting her now,' he said contemplatively.
'Do you feel guilty since you love her?' she asked in apprehension.
