by Melinda Metz
“Did you actually just say ‘harlot’? Who are you—Archie Pendergast?” Gib asked. He shook his head. “You could try apologizing. Might work. Might not.”
Nate stood up. “I’m making you and the cat your soup. Then I think I’ll go home and cut off my head. The aspirin isn’t helping.”
* * *
The Pepto-Bismol wasn’t helping. Briony lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t puke, she thought. That would be a horrible end to a horrible day. She hated throwing up. Well, everybody hated throwing up, but she really hated it. And if Caleb heard—
If Caleb heard, he’d probably come hold back her hair. But she’d know what he was thinking. He’d be all superior, thinking that he’d known she’d get sick after eating a candy apple, two cake pops, a frozen chocolate-covered banana, and some cotton candy on top of the giant Icee and the corn dog. The cotton candy was probably a mistake. The paper cone really wasn’t a stick. But she didn’t regret one bite or sip of anything else. “Non, je ne regrette rien,” she muttered, because if you said something in French it had to be true.
Maybe more Pepto. But it was so disgusting. And so pink. It was wrong for something to be disgusting and pink. Pink was a happy color. Her bridesmaids’ dresses were pink. The thought made her stomach roil. Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t—
Mac leapt out of nowhere—how did he do that?—and landed on her belly. She scrambled out of bed. Don’t puke on the floor, don’t puke on the floor, don’t puke on the floor. She wished she could make it to the downstairs bathroom, but that was impossible. She flew into the master bath, dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, and let go.
It was possible Caleb wouldn’t hear. Even though she hadn’t had time to shut the bathroom door, the bedroom door was shut. Please, please, please.
Okay, maybe she was going to get a little bit of luck. She flushed the toilet and cautiously climbed to her feet. She took one step toward the door. Too soon. She scrambled back into position for round two—and heard a soft rapping on the bedroom door. “Briony? Are you okay?” Caleb called.
Could she tell him it was Mac vomiting? she wondered wildly. No. He’d never believe it. “Go back to bed. I’ll be fine!” she called back. She knew better than to try to walk to the door.
“Can I get you anything?”
Why did he have to be so nice? “No. No, no. I’ve got everything I need. Thank you,” she made herself add.
“Good night, then.”
“Good night.” And then it was time for round three.
She’d just gotten herself back in bed, with Mac settled on her head, thank all that was holy, instead of on her stomach, when her cell buzzed. There was no way she was going to fall back asleep anytime soon, so she checked it. There was a text from Vi. That was a good friend. Someone who texted you 1 million times, even though you never answered.
OMG. I just heard that Caleb is in LA.
Not just LA. He’s here. At my cousin’s.
Are you back together???
No. But I couldn’t send him to a hotel. He’s in the guest room.
Details.
He said he wanted to spend some time together. That I owed him that. That we owed it to each other.
Can I say he’s a saint?
Do you really think he’s a saint?
Well, yeah. Doesn’t everyone?
So I’m crazy. Who wouldn’t want to be with a saint?
I wouldn’t.
You don’t like Caleb? You didn’t say anything! For years!
’Cause I do like him. I just wouldn’t want to be his girlfriend. I’d feel bad every time I watched Real Housewives. I’d feel like I should be feeding the hungry or recycling or doing something worthy. But you’re pretty much a saint, too.
No, I’m not!
Tell me something bad you’ve done.
I’m not good because I’m a good person. I’m good because I’m scared.
???
I’m scared of breaking rules. I’m scared of disappointing my parents. I’m afraid of falling off the jungle gym and splitting my head open. I’m good because I’m scared to be anything else. But yesterday I did something crazy!!! Caleb and I went to the Santa Monica Pier. And I suggested we go on this insane ride that falls straight down from the sky. I. I did that.
Why? You don’t do rides.
I wanted to do something new. Something my mom would never have let me do. Notice how I’m twenty-seven and I’m still talking about what my mom would let me do?
How was it?
It was wonderful. Free fall, in a good way. Then when we got off Caleb said it was first-world entertainment. Because people in most of the world don’t think it’s fun to get an adrenaline rush by pretending they’re about to die.
That’s so Caleb.
I know!
Do you think you might get back together?
I like him. I kinda love him. He’s such a good guy. Don’t forget handsome. With beautiful teeth.
And that. But I don’t think I want to be his wife.
Who’s going to tell your mother? She’s the one I heard about Caleb from. She says he went out there to get you back.
You tell her.
No.
Please?
No.
I think it’s a maid of honor duty.
It so isn’t.
Well, first I have to tell Caleb. But after the way I treated him tonight, I’m not sure he’ll be all that disappointed.
What did you do? I can’t imagine you doing anything that would make someone even a little annoyed. Except for when you left him at the altar. And he was very understanding about that.
I made him go on that crazy ride, then some other ones. I didn’t even ask him what he wanted to do. I ate junk food. I called him a Sugar Nazi. He said Nazis were nothing to trivialize.
That’s so Caleb.
But he’s right. And what did I do in response? I stuck my tongue out at him, like I’m a three-year-old. I probably should have rephrased. Also, he heard me throw up all the junky, sugary food. Humiliation.
Did he hold back your hair?
I’m sure he would have if I’d opened the door.
He’s a saint.
No one wants a saint to watch them puke.
True. Also, it sounds like he’s already forgiven you.
Damn. You’re right. And he also forgave me for sleeping with someone else.
You cheated on Caleb? You cheated on Caleb!!!! and you didn’t tell me?
Not cheated on. It was someone I met out here. Post not marrying him. So that’s not cheating. But it’s also not saintly. I’m really not saintly at heart, the way Caleb is.
Details.
Not now, okay? I just can’t.
Okay. Pout. Hey, who is going to stop me from doing stupid things if you keep doing stupid things?
Can we take turns? Or am I only good as a designated driver?
You also hold my purse while I dance.
Thanks. So much.
I was kidding. You know I was kidding.
I know. I think I’m about to sugar crash. Hard.
Talk to you later then.
Love you.
Love you, too.
MacGyver kneaded Briony’s hair. It made him less lonely for Jamie. He missed his person. But she’d be proud of how well he was taking care of things. He let his eyes close. Usually, he’d be heading out for an adventure at this time of night, but he needed his rest. He’d only gotten in two short naps during the day. His list of people to help kept getting longer. He was starting to think most of the other cats in the world were slackers.
His eyes popped open. He hadn’t gotten his num nums tonight. He stood up, opened his mouth wide, and yowled.
“Mac, have mercy,” Briony begged.
Mac yowled again—longer and higher.
She got out of bed. Mac leapt down to the floor and led the way to the kitchen. He was willing to do a lot for the humans who lived around him, but
he was not skipping dinner.
CHAPTER 18
Briony checked her phone. After nine. Damn, damn, damn. She’d wanted to get up before Caleb and make him breakfast. It wouldn’t be much of an apology for the way she’d acted yesterday, but it would be a start.
He’d be up by now. He never slept in. She’d been counting on Mac to be her alarm clock. He never missed getting up for breakfast. She took a few seconds to brush her teeth. Her mouth felt like something had died in there and was rapidly rotting. Then she hurried downstairs.
Where she found Caleb making French toast as Mac and Diogee watched. He must have fed them. They’d be rioting if he hadn’t. “Good morning. Let me say that I acted like a complete brat last night.”
“Not going to argue with you,” Caleb answered cheerfully. Another thing about Caleb? He was always cheerful in the morning. It should be considered a lovely personality trait, but Briony found it annoying. For years she’d had to pretend she was cheerful the second she woke up, too, because it seemed only fair.
“I’m sorry. And you were right. I was pushing you away. It wasn’t a plan. I didn’t decide to try to make you hate me. Which I guess is even worse. I acted that badly without even trying.”
Caleb flipped the bread. “I don’t hate you.”
“Good. I don’t want you to hate me.” Tears suddenly stung her eyes. “It would be so horrible if you did. Even though it would be a completely reasonable response.”
Caleb turned off the stove, then walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms. She held on to him tight, burying her head in his shoulder. A part of her didn’t want to ever let go, ever let him go. But that was the fearful part of her who was afraid to see if she could manage her life without him. He deserved so much better.
She let herself cling to him for a few more moments, then let go and stepped away. “I don’t want to marry you,” she told him, blinking back tears. “That’s not going to change. I wish I’d realized that’s how I felt earlier, so much earlier, but I didn’t. I almost didn’t realize it in time.”
“And that would have been so much worse,” Caleb told her. “It’s going to be okay, Briony. We’re both going to be okay.”
“You’ll meet someone amazing, because you’re amazing. You’re so thoughtful, and sweet, and—”
Caleb held up the spatula, stopping her. “Please, don’t. Just, don’t.”
He was always so willing to forgive, to take the high road, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t deeply hurt him. She wanted to apologize a million more times, but that was only so she’d feel better. She wasn’t going to make him reassure her over and over.
“You want one piece or two?” Caleb turned the stove back on.
“I may never eat again. Just make what you want for you.” Briony sank down into one of the kitchen chairs, then jumped back up. “I told Gib I’d check up on him!”
“What?”
“Gib. One of the residents at The Gardens who got sick. I told him I’d check up on him before I went home yesterday, and I completely forgot. I need to go over there. I won’t take long.”
“Take as much time as you need,” Caleb answered.
“What are you going to do?”
“Go home, I guess. Finish packing up. Move and start my new job.”
“You can stay . . .” Briony offered. “You can have a vacation—”
“I don’t think I’m ready for that. I’ll start checking on flights out.”
She felt like crying again. This felt like more of an ending than it had that day in the church. “I’ll go get dressed.” It was all she could think of to say.
* * *
“I know At Your Service is a great catering company,” LeeAnne told Nate. “But I hate that someone else is feeding my people.”
“I do, too. But we need to get the official health department clearance before we can serve again,” Nate answered. “It sounded like we could get it as soon as this afternoon.”
“I’ll be ready as soon as you get the word,” LeeAnne promised.
“I had to go ahead and hire At Your Service for dinner. I didn’t want to have to scramble if we don’t get the go-ahead,” Nate told her.
LeeAnne sighed. “Yeah, I get that.”
She sounded so beaten down. She sounded the way Nate felt. He was overwhelmed. Eliza’s meeting was that night, and he had nothing to report. No, that wasn’t true. He could share the results of the air check—excellent. He could announce that the new gym equipment was already in place. And he hoped he’d be able to report that the health department had cleared the kitchen for operation. But what he couldn’t do was reassure the residents and family that The Gardens was safe. He couldn’t tell them that the person behind the sabotage had been caught.
“Why don’t you take the day off,” he suggested. “You’ve got the kitchen completely back in order, and there’s nothing you can really do right now.”
“I’ll go home for a while,” LeeAnne agreed. “But nothing’s going to stop me from coming back tonight. I’m going to be front row center. And I won’t be the only one. The staff’s got your back, Nate. I hope you know that.”
“I do. And I appreciate it,” Nate answered.
LeeAnne grabbed her bike helmet and her backpack. “I can stay,” she offered.
“Nope. You can’t. The boss has spoken.”
She gave a snort as she headed for the door. “Front row center,” she said again, then left him alone in the huge kitchen.
He had to get himself together. No matter how he was feeling, he had to present a confident front to the staff. Make that the staff, the residents, and the families. He could start by making the rounds again. He’d checked in on everyone who’d gotten sick yesterday. Today, he was going to try to touch base with everyone. He knew Eliza would be out there talking with everybody she possibly could. Nate wasn’t going to let her be the only one doing the talking.
Gib first, he decided. He needed a little time to get that confident front he needed up and running, and Gib was a good person to practice on.
But when he reached Gib’s place, he saw Briony coming out the door. She froze when she saw him, and he realized there was something else he had to get done. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“I know you don’t want me here. I only came because yesterday I told Gib I’d check in on him and then I forgot. I had to come back, but I’m leaving now,” she told him.
“I’m sure he was glad to see you,” Nate answered. “I still want to talk to you. Is now okay? It won’t take long.”
“All right.” It sounded like the last thing she wanted to do. He didn’t blame her.
“Let’s go into the garden.” He didn’t want to try to have this conversation standing in the middle of the street.
“All right,” she said again.
“It’s back this way.” He didn’t speak as he led the way to the gazebo. She didn’t, either. When they reached it, he sat on one of the curved white benches. She hesitated a moment, then sat beside him.
“I’m sorry about yesterday, about what I said.”
“It’s okay,” she said quickly, but he thought it was more about her eagerness to get away from him than because she actually accepted his apology.
“It’s not okay. I’d just had a conversation with Eliza that pissed me off, and I took it out on you.” That was somewhat true. Briony seemed to know he wasn’t being completely honest. Her expression was dubious.
He wasn’t going to tell her how much it had hurt when her ex-fiancé showed up. How he’d had to go drink an insane amount of beer to cope. “I knew it was a casual thing,” he added. “I knew you were going back home soon. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It’s not like you owed me your life story.”
“If it had gotten serious, which it wouldn’t have, because I don’t live here, I would have told you. Maybe not on a first date, but I definitely would have told you.”
Nate nodded. “How is it going now that he’s out here?” H
e both wanted and didn’t want to know.
“We resolved some things last night. Actually, this morning,” she answered.
Did that mean they’d gotten back together? That they’d already slept together? He reminded himself it was none of his business. Briony wasn’t his girlfriend. But a hot wave of jealousy was smashing through him. He fought to keep it from showing.
“I told him it wasn’t going to work between us. He wanted us to give it another chance, but I realized that even though I’d had every intention of going through with the wedding, I really didn’t want to marry him.”
He noticed that she had dark smudges under her eyes and she looked exhausted. “That must have been a hard conversation.”
“Yeah. He didn’t make it hard. He was understanding. Caleb’s always understanding.” Nate still didn’t get how Caleb had been able to be understanding about Briony sleeping with another guy, especially so soon. “But I could tell I’d hurt him, and that was hard to see.” She swallowed, and he thought she was fighting back tears. “And I treated him so horribly last night.” Her words were coming faster now. “I was being a complete coward. Instead of telling him how I felt, or even actually admitting to myself how I felt, I just acted like a monster.”
“Trying to drive him away,” Nate said.
She let out a sigh that sounded like it started deep in her belly. “Exactly. At least I finally managed to be an adult and actually talk to him this morning—instead of behaving badly or passing out on the way to the altar.”
“You really fainted?”
“Oh yeah, right down to the floor. And then I didn’t even have the guts to stick around. My parents arranged for me to stay at my cousin’s and put me on the plane. The next day, I met you. And I know it must seem heartless for me to be willing to sleep with another guy that fast. I still can’t believe I did it. It’s not my norm. Believe it or not, I’m usually a person who does the right thing. Probably because I’m too scared to do the wrong thing, but whatever the reason, that’s me. I don’t even jaywalk.” She rubbed her forehead with her fingertips, like she was trying to erase a memory.
