Her voice breaks harshly, painful to hear. And I don’t know what to say, hands gesturing futilely as my mouth opens, no words coming out.
But Heather’s on a roll, staring at my poochy midsection now.
“You’ll overflow with life soon,” come her slow words. “They’ll want you even more. They’ll shower you with clothes, a car, whatever you want. But mark my words. If you can’t give them an heir, then you’re nothing more than trash. Look at me,” she spits, gesturing to her wasted form. “Look how they threw me out when I couldn’t perform.”
My hand claps over my mouth to keep from crying.
Heather leans back against the kitchen counter, folding skinny arms over a nonexistent chest. “I won’t have to work another day in my life. I’ve got this place. I’ve got a full bank account. A nice car. Someone who cleans for me once a week. But I can’t get out of bed most mornings. It hurts. Have you ever walked around with a plastic bag over your head? That’s what it’s like to be me,” she says fiercely, eyes glaring. “I can’t breathe most days, can’t even take a deep breath.”
I have to help her somehow. Holding my hands out, my voice starts.
“I’ll talk to them,” come my rushed words. “I’m sure the Morgans don’t know, there’s an explanation for all this – “
But the woman cuts me off.
“Go. Fuck. Yourself,” come her clear, enunciated words, chock full of poison. “You heard me. Go fuck yourself.”
And whirling on my heel, I turn and run out of the house, muffled sobs bursting from my chest.
Oh god, oh god, how did this happen? I don’t know what to think, hurling myself into the car, sitting slumped in the driver’s seat. But at the same time, there’s an unmistakable truth to Heather’s words. Because she said the Morgans would give me everything, and they have. This Mercedes. The fantastic apartment. The professional-grade cookware.
But what if I don’t produce? What if I can’t get pregnant? Is it the door for me then? Have I been reduced to nothing but a womb?
And a sob tears through my chest again, so painful that I bend over double, clutching my stomach. Oh god, oh god. I’ve been so stupid.
Because I get it now. The Morgans are master businessmen and master manipulators. This plan of theirs, to share one woman and sire one heir, is a key part of their business operation. If I can’t provide them that, I’ll be out on my ass just like Heather Mastricci.
It’s disturbingly ruthless, Machiavellian to the max. Because children are human beings, and yet for them, an heir is also a wealth management tool. Can I live with that? Can I accept my role as a fertility goddess, a means to an end in this master plan? After all, the Morgans had it spelled out to a tee. Find a hot, horny chick to bear a child, one able to accommodate their endless sexual appetites.
So what do I do now? The dilemma wrecks my mind. On the one hand, I’ve already missed two periods, and that never happens, my monthly flow comes like clockwork. So I must be pregnant already, right?
But on the other, there are doubts raging through my mind, a wild cacophony that makes it difficult to think. Because maybe I’m nothing but a tool in their life plan. Maybe the Morgans even have a powerpoint presentation laying it all out, and my role’s set forth on slides sixteen and seventeen. Oh god, oh god. Am I okay with that? Am I okay being nothing more than a vessel, used for my womb? Because it’s not too late. There are still options … or so I hope.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Macy
Blasting the water, I step into the shower stall, letting the spray pelt me. Oh god. Closing my eyes, I rest my forehead against the cool tile, praying for peace. Because what should I do? After that encounter with Heather, everything’s mixed up and muddled, with no clear path forwards.
On the one hand, the way the Morgans treated that girl was wrong. I don’t care what they told her or what they bought her. No cars, condos or cash is worth the devastation that Heather exhibited. How could they do that? Making the woman feel so good, only to drop her the minute she couldn’t produce. That’s not love or caring. That’s manipulation, pure and simple.
But my case isn’t so clear. Because I may already be pregnant, so where does that leave me? Should I pack my bags to disappear into the ether? Should I run home to Marsha and Jim, my parents’ disapproval a cold glare freezing me each day? Or should I stay here, and try and work things out?
When the boys trickle in for the evening, they find me curled up in front of a romantic comedy, wrapped in a fluffy pink bathrobe, shoving a fifth slice of pizza in my face. I hate to tell them but they are not getting anywhere past this terrycloth barrier tonight. And once I finish with this pizza, I’ve got a date with Ben & Jerry’s.
Sam eyes me suspiciously. Smith is more direct.
“What’s wrong honey?” comes his low growl, blue eyes trailing over my bod. “What’s going on?”
Matt, always more communicative, rephrases the question. “Tell us, baby girl. What’s with the Little Caesars? You never eat that stuff, fast food isn’t your thing. Did something happen today?”
I give them the side-eye, seven giants staring down at me wearing masks ranging from medium-concern to outright annoyance. The annoyance is Smith, who’s probably wondering what’s for dinner.
But I don’t want to face them just now.
“There’s pizza for you in the oven,” come my choked words, hoping to distract them.
But there’s no distraction. Matt lowers that massive form next to me on the couch, as Trent sits on my other side, taking a small palm in his giant fist.
“Talk to us,” Matt growls persuasively. “Tell us what’s going on.”
Trent is just as insistent.
“Now,” he rumbles, eyes direct. “Now, honey.”
There’s no avoiding the issue. If not now, then when? And given that there’s probably a baby already, I can’t put it off forever. So taking a deep breath, the words come.
“I met Heather Mastricci today,” I say slowly. “It was a shock, to say the least.”
Silence from the seven men. Blue eyes gaze at me, shuttered and expressionless.
“What?” I ask. “Why, was it wrong to talk to her?”
Matt shrugs carelessly.
“Not wrong,” he rumbles, face calm. “But that’s a surprise. How’d you get the idea?”
Okay, this is gonna be a hard one.
“My mom,” comes my rushed admission. “I know you hate Marsha, but still. She had a point. She put me on Heather’s trail, and it’s done. I met the woman, and it was an eye-opener.”
Trent’s hand squeezes mine roughly, a pulse beating heavily in his throat although his expression remains calm.
“And so?” the doctor rumbles deep in his chest. “What about it was so bad?”
I exhale deeply, oxygen departing in a whoosh.
“She’s gaunt and lifeless, like a corpse,” I begin slowly. “She’s clearly lost a lot of weight, nothing more than skin and bones. And the woman says she’s sick all the time, an after effect of the fertility treatments. Does that sound okay to you? Does that sound fair, or right?”
But the Morgans can be obstinate.
“Heather knew what she was getting into every step of the way,” Trent replies smoothly. “I explained the fertility treatments to her in great detail – the risks, the side-effects, the chances of success. She’s the one who chose to keep going.”
“Because she wanted to be with you,” I bite out. “She cared for you. She wanted to be the mother of your child. But you left her behind.”
The silence in the living room is deafening for a moment.
“We had to move on,” Sam says finally. “Having an heir is the cornerstone of our long-term strategy. We enjoyed the woman, and spent a lot of money and time trying to make it work. But she couldn’t get pregnant,” he concludes simply.
That got me. Calling Heather “the woman.” Spelling out her role in their “strategy.” What the hell? That was rich, real rich, stri
king to the heart of the problem like a dart on a bullseye.
And I had to take a stand for feminism. For the things I believe in. Sure, I’m not Ms. Corporate Titan, but at the same time, people are people and deserve to be treated with respect.
“A woman is not a business plan. A baby is not a business plan. I am not a business plan,” I say tightly, standing and clenching my fists into white-knuckled balls. “These are human beings you’re talking about, people with hopes, feelings and desires. Heather is a person – a person who’s hurting because of you and your master plan. You don’t feel anything for her? Really? Not anything?”
A pause once more.
“We do care for her,” Matt says slowly. “We pay for her lifestyle, the house, the car, everything. Heather’s set up for life.”
The air leaves my lungs in a whoosh. The Morgans really have no idea what’s wrong in this scenario. No clue whatsoever.
“That’s not it,” I say tightly, “She misses you, and it’s gonna kill her. Heather was the center of your universe for years and then – poof! – you’re gone. That’s bullshit and you know it. Money doesn’t make up for that.”
For the first time in a long time, all seven Morgan brothers are quiet. There’s no posturing, no arguing, no ordering. They’re just quiet, stares trained on me. I get a hold of myself, jerking my robe tight before starting for the second floor, ready to retreat to my room.
But as my slipper touches the first step, Sam’s deep voice sounds from across the room.
“It wasn’t great what we did, you’re right,” comes his baritone.
My head swivels like the girl in the Exorcist , almost flying off my shoulders. I stare in shock. Really? An admission of error? Acknowledgment of a mistake? From the Morgans? This can’t be happening.
But he nods slowly.
“We care about Heather,” interrupts Tim. “We absolutely cared about her, all the way until the end. But you have to understand Macy. We wanted something, and she couldn’t provide. This isn’t a question of money or wealth or any of that other shit. The biological urge for a child is real, and infertility is devastating. Even for happily married couples, it can wreck a relationship.”
My mouth snaps shut. That’s true. I’ve read articles about how infertility is a silent killer, devastating marriages because of dreams destroyed, visions of a family vanished into thin air. But still, it didn’t make sense.
“Break ups are break ups,” come my slow words, head shaking. “But this girl, she’s different. She’s wrecked. Absolutely wrecked, just a shadow of a human being now. And she says you did that to her.”
The men nod.
“She’s having a hard time, for sure,” says Smith, expressionless. “It was bound to happen.”
“Bound to happen?” I guffaw. “Why is that?”
Sam’s blue eyes are intent.
“Because she was at the center of a vortex. There were seven of us, and just one her. The feelings are magnified, emotions running like electrical currents all the time. Any woman would be broken once that current is shut down.”
But I shake my head again.
“I get it, sort of,” come my slow words. “But still, it’s crazy. Heather was a shell, nothing more than a living, breathing corpse. Is there something you can do for her?”
Silence once more.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” says Trent smoothly. “Most women don’t want their lovers to have any contact with exes.”
“It’s a bad idea,” interrupts Smith, voice harsh. “This is a fucked-up idea if there was ever one.”
But my head nods slowly.
“Listen,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I want to help Heather, if we can. Ex or no ex. Somehow, I want her to be okay. Or at least better than she is now. But there’s still this question about me ….” The words falter on my lips.
Suddenly, all seven men are on full alert.
“And?” comes Trent’s raspy question. “And what about you, Macy?”
I’m not sure what to say then. But I have to tell them of my uncertainties.
“I don’t know,” come my slow words, jerking my robe tighter around my waist. The air is heavy now, filling my lungs, making it difficult to breathe. “I just don’t know anymore. Meeting her, realizing that I’m just a cog, it’s disturbing.”
“Not that disturbing,” bites Tim. “We’re all pawns in a master game.”
I shake my head slowly.
“Yes, there’s a master game, and that’s called life. But I want to be more than a pawn,” come my words. “It’s not enough just to be a vessel, someone who’s going to have your kid. I have to be more than that, even if I can’t deliver.”
The men are silent then. What are they going to say?
But no words come. Instead, they merely look at me, contemplative, blue eyes taking in everything.
Oh god, have I miscalculated? Have I thrown the best thing that ever happened to me away? And all on the word of a sick girl?
But I had to say it. I had to tell them the truth, that I don’t know what’s going to happen now. And turning to the side, my shoulders hunch, taking the steps one by one like a frail old lady.
Because the Morgans’ spell is already cast, writhing and twisting with devilish green light. If I don’t get a dose of goodness, a fresh shot of vitality and energy, I’m gonna end up just like Heather. Dead to the world. A pale, waxen figure, with raccoon eyes and a mind living in the past.
I won’t let that happen to me, I refuse. But what next? I’m a teen girl living in a luxury apartment with seven men. They pay all my bills. I’ve dropped out of college, my parents barely talk to me anymore. I’m caught in their web, and there’s no escape. Slowly, my limbs move into bed, arms and legs stiff, soul numb.
Because I love them still. I crave their bodies, the incredible energy that emanates from the alpha males. So it’s hard to reconcile what I witnessed today with the powerful billionaires. Or maybe that’s the thing. They’re powerful billionaires because of their innate ruthlessness, the way they take what’s theirs with no mercy.
And turning my face into the pillow, hot tears begin to roll, staining my cheeks before dropping wetly into the soft cloth. Because I love the brothers so much … and yet there’s no path forwards now.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Macy
The boys are gone for the day by the time I manage to talk myself out of bed. There are no notes of apology. No flowers. Not that I’d have expected any. These are the Morgan brothers, so I don’t expect them to act like awkward teen boys, tripping over their feet. But still, it would be nice.
Hauling myself out of bed, my feet stumble downstairs. I’m a mess for sure, and decide to make some scrambled eggs to start the day. The runny yolk always makes me hungry, but this time, the opposite happens. Looking at the dark yellow slime, my stomach heaves and then bleeeeech! Vomit splatters in the sink, green and brown and ugly. Oh god, oh god. It must be true. I must be pregnant.
After some dry toast and a ginger ale, I haul on some sweats. There’s no sense in hanging out here any longer. I’m not gonna cook, I’m just going to mope and drive myself to new levels of confusion, locked in this beautiful apartment. So instead, I drive myself to Grandma Patty’s house.
As usual, the old woman takes one look at the bird’s nest on my head, the sleepless, haunted eyes, and sits me on her petite floral sofa with the lumpy stuffing.
“What’s wrong honey?” she says, stroking my curls. “What’s wrong?”
And the story comes boiling out then, interspersed with sobs, violent cries, and gallons of hot tears. I lay my head on her shoulder and tell her about Heather. How she was a shell of a woman, a scarecrow with barely any life force because of the Morgans.
“They just left her, Grandma Patty. She used to be healthy and beautiful and they turned her into dust. It makes me sick,” my voice wails. “What do I do?”
My grandmother takes my hands in hers and looks at me thoughtfu
lly. “It’s hard to say,” she replies. “I’m an old woman,” she begins slowly, eyes faraway. “These new-fangled situations are strange to me. Seven men? This Heather woman was with seven men?”
Now it’s time for the big admission.
“Nana,” I say slowly, blinking my eyes hard to stop the tears. “I’m not sure if you heard me. Or even if you heard me, I want to make it crystal clear. It’s not just her. It’s me too. I’m with seven men, Nana, I’m in love with seven men. It’s wrong, it’s awful, because they’ve turned out to be monsters! So what do I do? What do I dooooo ?”
The pathetic wail is terrible, ringing loudly in the living room of my grandma’s small cottage. But I can’t help the despair and fresh tears flow once more, choking me. “What do I do?” are my broken words. “What happens now?”
Nana is kind, patting my hand, those withered fingers soft.
“Seven is different,” she says slowly. “Back when I was a girl, even two or three was a lot.”
“Two or three?” I gasp. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed that Nana knew something about ménage.
But my grandma’s eyes spark mischievously.
“Oh sure,” she murmurs. “I was around during the Sixties, honey. It was all swingers and free love, expressing your true self. You have to remember that in those times, society was breaking free, shaking off its chains. Young people didn’t want to be held back, so I saw it all,” she winks.
I nod slowly. That makes some sense
“But I always thought you were family-oriented,” I say slowly. “Like raising Mom and all that.”
“Who said I’m not family-oriented?” asks Nana playfully. “You can have a family and also have a life. There are lots of ways to be happy.”
And words escape me then. What is Nana saying? What is she hinting at?
Patty can tell I’m confused, and continues.
“Back to you, honey,” she says candidly. “It’s not as if the Morgans lied. They were honest with Heather about the terms of the relationship, and about what they needed from her.”
Six Ways to Sin Page 32
