Mason slumped in a chair.
“I have no idea, bro,” he rasped, looking hopeless, suit rumpled. “No idea.”
We sat around the living room dejected. Surely, Katie realized how great things could be with the three of us. She’d seen that anything was possible with us on her side: a non-profit to run. Three men to make her shiver at night. Billionaires on call to do her bidding.
So what the fuck was missing?
What did she want?
Our souls?
Our hearts?
Our everything?
Fuck me.
Suddenly, clarity struck my brain like an electrical bolt. Resting my head against the back of the sofa, I began to laugh. Mason and Kane stared my way as if I’d lost my mind.
“We’re assholes,” I managed, still sputtering with laughter.
“What the fuck is wrong with you bro?” Mason growled, glaring.
“Spit it out,” Kane rumbled, looking like he wanted to punch me in the face.
Sitting forward and resting my elbows on my knees, I snorted once more.
“We’re still treating Katie like other woman we’ve fucked and tossed away.” I shook my head. “So what we promised her the non-profit? It’s just money. We did nothing special but offer her money and the services of our underlings, the bankers, the lawyers, the accountants. We haven’t offered her anything of ourselves.”
My bros were stupefied.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” grunted Mason. “The non-profit’s what she wanted.”
“Sure,” I said. “But don’t you see? Katie’s looking for something real. She wants more than just a flash in the pan. She wants more than just a visit here and there, us flying in to fuck her silly. She wants us. Three men committed to a relationship, giving her our souls.”
That was a wild one.
“What the fuck are you talking about, our souls?” asked Kane, a confused look in his eyes. “Have you been reading romance novels or something? That Fabio shit get to you?”
I laughed again. Shit, we were so behind. Our lifestyles had been depraved and brazen for so long that we’d lost touch with what it was like to truly love. What it was like to truly cherish a woman and make her happy, to place her interests before all else. Instead, we’d done what we always do. We’d swept in, fucked a female good, and then expected to buy our way out. Of course, it was dressed up this time with the feel-good vibes of the non-profit, but was it any different? Probably not.
“Listen,” I said urgently. “We made no promises. We’re giving nothing of ourselves. It’s just money again, it’s all about the cash.”
But my bros can be knuckleheads.
“What the hell, it’s all about the cash? It’s all about the kids, dude, we’re helping her do stuff for low-income kids,” reminded Kane.
I shook my head again, exasperated.
“For her, it’s about the kids. For us? Please, get real. We haven’t spent two seconds thinking about kids. You know that. I know that. She knows that. It’s all window dressing because we’re doing the same thing we’ve always done. Buying women off.”
And finally, it made some sense.
“Yeah, I guess,” acknowledged Mason. “That’s true, I wasn’t about to volunteer at the Ronald McDonald House or something.”
“So what?” asked Kane. “We do what we can. Some people give time, some people give money. I’m in the money group.”
I was ready to pummel these dudes then, really deliver a death blow. Because what the hell was wrong with them? They were so clueless it was fucking embarrassing. No wonder Katie wanted space, saying she had to think about things.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “We can’t treat her like we treat everyone else. She’s too good for that. And the girl knows it, which is why she’s giving us the runaround. We have to make a real commitment. We have to go balls to the wall, show her that she’s something special, that we’re willing to pull out all the stops.”
There was a loaded silence because we’ve been in this lifestyle for a long time. Really cherishing a woman was new, like staring into the black vortex of the unknown.
“So what next?” asked Mason slowly. “You’re the big genius, what’s next in this crazy idea?”
I lunged from the couch then, fists raised, but Kane held me back.
“Cool it, cool it,” he grunted, pinning my arms. “Mason’s a dickhead, no disrespect.”
I sat down then, still fuming and glaring.
“Get real,” I spat at the man. “You’re such a fucking prick, you think you know what’s going on? Spill it then. Let’s hear your great idea.”
But Mason held up his hands then.
“Naw, like Kane said, no disrespect man. Just sayin’.”
I seethed, sinking back in the couch. But there was no sense in fighting because shit, Katie was waiting and time was running out. The longer this went on, the less likely she’d take us back. If she would take us back at all, period. So straightening my suit, I glared at Mason once more before speaking.
“We gotta move down here,” I said flatly. “That’s the only way to prove our commitment, to show that we’re serious about giving a piece of ourselves. We’ve gotta move to Knox.”
Snorts filled the air.
“You’re shitting me,” growled Kane. “I got a chain of restaurants up in NYC. My managers, my chefs, my serving staff, hell, even my accountant is up there. You think I can move an entire restaurant group down here? No can do buddy.”
Mason was the same.
“Bro, I’m working on seven new developments in the Tri-State area right now. The foundation’s been dug, the contracts signed. I can’t just jet and say, see ya, figure it out yourselves. I mean shit, you gotta walk those sites every day to make sure that the contractor isn’t screwing up. How am I gonna do it from down here?”
I shrugged.
“That’s the rub, exactly. It’s a huge pain in the ass, maybe next to impossible. But it’s the only way to give something that’s truly us. Sure, we could make trips down here once a month, but Katie doesn’t want that. It’s still a fly by night op, fucking her senseless and then jetting off. We could send her gifts from NYC, but you know this girl, she’ll just send them back. So it’s on us, bros. We gotta figure out how to move our lives down here.”
The three of us sat in stumped silence again.
“I don’t think it’s gonna happen,” said Mason slowly, shaking his head. “Like I said, I’m in the middle of construction. I can’t pick up a piece of land and fly it down on a magic carpet.”
Kane shook his head regretfully as well.
“Restaurants are the same, yo,” he rumbled. “We’ve got established locations, and I’ve gotta be there myself to make sure that shit is solid. There’s a lot of graft, the boss needs to be around to keep an eye on things. So what do we do?”
But there are always hard choices in life, and the fact we were even discussing this demonstrated the depths of our feelings for Katie.
“So what you’re saying is that it’s a no can do, right?” I asked. “I mean, we leave and it’s over bros. This dream is over, she’ll never let us back into her heart.”
The statement was mushy, it was emotional, but it was also true. If we treated this girl like one more skeezy whore, there was no going back. We could beg on our knees, but Katie’s heart would be lost to us, probably forever.
So the silence in the suite was ominous. Here we were, three billionaires with limitless resources, and yet, clearly there were limits to our lives. How the hell had one sweet girl turned everything on its head? How in the world were we left so powerless, with few options?
And unfortunately, there was no clear path forwards. At least none that I could see. None that my buddies could see either. We were at an impasse, and on the one side there was the woman of our dreams, curvy and full, filled with light, love and laughter.
On the other side stood our careers, powerful empires built on the backs o
f thousands of men. Were we gonna let all that go? Did we have to choose? When did life get so damn complicated?
But I guess that’s what love is about. Because when love shows itself, everything gets mixed up. There are no rights or wrongs, there’s only compromise and muddling your way through. So how were we going to figure this out? I only hoped there was a way to resolve things … with the sweet girl in our arms.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Katie
The coffee was bitter on my tongue, the insides of my mouth curdling. I sipped anyways because caffeine was desperately needed at this point. Sleep last night had been practically non-existent. All I did was toss and turn once the billionaires left, restless and unhappy.
Before, I’d drift off immediately, my body sated, muscles relaxed. But last night was a vastly different experience because even with my body trashed, I was hollow inside now, like a jack o’ lantern with its insides carved out.
So what to make of the situation? The billionaires wanted something real, but I just didn’t see how things could work. They lived in New York. I lived here in Knox. Were they going to come down here on the weekends for a series of flings? I loved them, but how was that even close to okay? I’d just be one more whore, the one who happened to live in Knox, Tennessee, breathlessly waiting like all the others.
Because they probably had women in every city, just a phone call away.
Ladies who put on fancy lingerie, drinking champagne.
Amanda in Atlanta.
Tracy in Dallas.
Mindy in Oklahoma City, not to mention women in London and Paris.
And I was just one more.
My mouth went sour, tears rising in my eyes again. Because oh god, the joke was on me. I was nothing but another dumb female, a plaything for the billionaires.
No.
It wasn’t gonna happen.
I wouldn’t let it happen.
Bile rose in my throat as I rushed to the bathroom, hacking and coughing into the toilet.
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t let this come true, it was too demeaning.
Other women might be okay with it. In fact, they might even want it. After all, they’d only be “on call” once in a while, whenever Mason, Kane and Tyler happened to drop by. It’d be easy. Get your hair done, get your nails done, put on some seductive lingerie and presto whammo! That was it. The billionaires would bang you for a couple days, and then they’d leave, your sweet spaces sore.
But I didn’t want that.
No way.
Even the thought made me feel lost and empty inside, like there was nothing but dank air in my form.
How can anyone live like that?
How could I live with myself , most importantly?
But this was what Mason, Kane and Tyler wanted. What they were used to. And wiping my eyes again, I took a deep breath. I was gonna tell them no. I had to, for my own self-respect and sense of dignity. No matter how hard it was, I had to say no.
Even if it meant giving up my dreams.
Giving up the idea of the non-profit.
Going back to my meaningless job.
My heart broke once more, splintering into smithereens.
Because love’s not easy. I’d given my all to the alphas, and yet they couldn’t meet my needs in return. So choking back another sorrowful cry, I staggered out of the bathroom, unable to breathe. But I had to move on. I had to, there was no choice. My dreams had been dashed before they even began, and to be honest, they were never real. The hard truth was that nothing had changed, not one bit.
So slowly, I dragged on some clothes, listlessly tying my hair up in a ponytail. Even though my curls are usually springy and voluminous, today they looked limp and lifeless, exactly how I felt.
It was time to go to work at the magazine again, the dead-end job with nothing to offer.
My life was passing away like the sands in an hourglass, totally meaningless.
And yet there was nothing to be done.
Picking up my lunch bag, I dragged myself over to the front door, squinting as a ray of sun squeezed in through the crack.
And then bam! Something hard hit me on the forehead. What the?
It was Tyler’s chest. I’d literally walked into a wall of man, the billionaire as dark, dangerous and ominous before.
“Hey,” came my weak cry. “What are you doing here?”
They were silent for a moment.
“May we?” asked Tyler. “May we come in?”
I stepped aside, nodding wordlessly. Might as well. It didn’t matter if I was late to work. The truth is, I didn’t care anymore, my soul a piece of lead.
The alphas filed in, and suddenly my living room was too small, the air hot. But they were calm and collected, lowering those massive frames onto the sofa.
“We know what you said last night Katie, but there’s more,” began Mason.
Hesitantly, I sat.
“Okay,” came my slow word. “So what did you have in mind?”
My nerves were getting the best of me. Had they come back to tell me they’d changed their minds? Because they could have saved themselves the trip instead of letting me see what I’d be missing one last time. Cruel, just cruel.
But taking a deep breath, Mason spoke first. Was I imagining things or was he actually a little nervous? Imagine that! Usually nothing got under their skin, but there was definitely something edgy in the air today.
“We were wrong last night,” he began. “I get it. We get it. It was painful and we regret that.”
I raised an eyebrow at them.
“It was painful,” I said slowly. “But I can’t expect you to understand. Your life is so different from mine,” I managed to choke out. “You live in the big city with billions of people. There are bright lights everywhere, a Starbucks on every street corner. Here in Knox,” I managed, “we don’t even have Starbucks. We have Old Joe’s Coffee Shop.”
The alphas shook their heads.
“Honey, who cares about Starbucks? Why are you even talking about that?
I took a deep breath.
“I guess I’m just trying to get across that I understand. Knox is nothing like New York City, so it makes sense. We have different values. We have different ideas of what the good life is, and what it should be. I forgive you,” I said softly. “I forgive you just the same.”
The billionaires looked thunderstruck then, paralyzed almost. Taking a deep breath, I continued.
“I forgive you,” came my words again. “I can’t expect you to understand my wants and need when you have no basis to understand. Your backgrounds are different. Your needs and wants are different, heck, the way people treat you is different. But I’m a certain way, and what we want doesn’t match.”
Mason stared at me coolly. Oh shit, my speech hadn’t gone down well. They were going to grind me into the dust and make me feel like the dumbest person on the planet.
But men who love you don’t do that. They don’t treat you like crap. Because he nodded slowly.
“Everything you said is true, baby girl, except one thing. And that’s that you love us, and we love you. So you’re missing a big part of the puzzle.”
I gulped heavily then, blood rushing hotly through my veins. My head dropped as my hands wrung themselves in my lap.
“Yes, that’s true,” came my small voice. “But it’s not enough. All the love in the world can’t change that we’re from different planets. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, get it?” I choked, raising tear-stained eyes. “I’m from Pluto and you guys are from Jupiter.”
The guys stared at me.
“Honey, you have been reading too many women’s magazines. What’s with the planetary stuff?” drawled Kane.
“Yeah,” rumbled Tyler. “I thought we were all from Earth.”
I snapped then.
“FYI, there’s a very famous book by a very famous psychologist called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus . It’s all about working to
gether and trying to resolve your issues, not that I would expect you to know,” came my snappy reply.
Mason stepped in then.
“Calm, calm,” he soothed. “We’re here to make stuff work, not break out into arguments about aliens.”
I got mad then, real mad. Bouncing up, the riot act spewed from my lips, steam boiling from my ears.
“Get out,” I breathed angrily. “Get out. Clearly this is a waste of time. Get back on your fancy private jet and leave.”
But Kane held up his hands this time.
“Naw honey, no need to bust a joint. All we’re saying is that you’re poetic and lyrical, which is something we’re not. We’re simple folk,” he added, gesturing to the three of them. “We don’t get poetry, not at all. Can you be a little more direct, baby girl? Do it for us.”
That made my temperature go up even more.
“Here’s direct for you,” I hissed. “Get out now. NOW! GET OUT!”
But how in the world was one tiny brunette going to move three large alpha males? The billionaires stayed seated, watching me lose my cool, and shit, but they were amused by the whole thing.
“Gotta love it,” rumbled Kane. “She’s a beauty when she’s mad.”
“Absolutely,” agreed Mason, his eyes trailing hotly over my heaving form. “Full of sass and fire, just our type.”
And finally Tyler stepped in.
“Calm down, pretty girl,” he soothed. “Because we’re here to say we’re moving to Knox. That’s right,” he added after my surprised gasp. “The three of us are packing up and moving in, whether or not you’re ready.”
I stood frozen, unable to speak.
“You’re mo-moving here?” came my stutter.
“Well, not here here,” said Kane with an amused tone. “I mean, honey, this is a one-bedroom. A nice one-bedroom, sure, but you can’t expect the four of us to squeeze into six hundred square feet.”
But I was in no mood for jokes.
“What are you talking about?” I asked in a low voice. “Don’t pull my leg please, not anymore.”
And suddenly all three men were serious.
“Baby, we’re not as depraved as you think,” began Kane.
“Or we are,” corrected Tyler. “But we want to change our ways.”
Six Ways to Sin Page 48
