MAGPIES
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST ANNOYING!
There is a fine line between playing tricks on people and annoying the hell out of them. Andy should know. He crosses the line on a regular basis!
Just Annoying! is Paul Jennings meets Morris Gleitzman meets Roald Dahl. The nine uniquely Australian stories find Andy in hilarious situations such as setting a new speed record by swinging on the clothes line, being terrorised by a garden gnome that he has taken on holidays with him, chasing the last jaffa in the cinema and having his imaginary friends taking on a life of their own.
‘Over the top tales from a born story-teller’ MAGPIES
‘The stories are far-fetched and imaginative – every young trickster will love them’ AUSTRALIAN BOOKSELLER AND PUBLISHER
‘Original, funny and lots of fun’ SUNDAY MAIL (Brisbane)
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST STUPID!
Gasp as Andy careers down a hill in an abandoned pram wearing only a nappy, groan as he desperately looks for a toilet in a shopping centre before he explodes, and squirm as he stuffs twenty marshmallows into his mouth without swallowing…
But most of all laugh because Andy is back – and doing more stupid things than ever before.
Nine highly original stories that see Andy G lurch from one stupid mistake to another, and yet always survive … Short, tightly-written comedies to entertain the most cynical reader complemented by imaginative and hilarious illustrations from one of Australia’s most well-known and acclaimed illustrators, Terry Denton.
‘Another beauty’ COURIER MAIL
“Exaggerated, over-the-top, lunatic humour’ VIEWPOINT
‘Highly original, hilarious and hysterically stupid tales’ THE INDEPENDENT READER
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST CRAZY!
Is this the right book for you?
Take the CRAZY TEST and find out.
Do you ever bounce so high on your bed that you hit your head on the ceiling?
Do you ever look in the mirror and see a crazy maniac staring back at you?
Do you like to read stories about kittens, puppies and ponies getting mashed and pulverised?
Do you sometimes get the urge to take your clothes off and cover yourself in mud?
Do you often waste your time taking crazy tests like this one?
SCORE: One point for every ‘yes’ answer.
3-5
You are completely crazy. You will love this book.
1-2
You are not completely crazy, but you’re not far off it. You will love this book.
0
You are so far crazy you don’t even realise you’re crazy. You will love this book.
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST DISGUSTING!
Is this the right book for you?
Take the DISGUSTING TEST and find out.
Do you ever pick your nose?
Do you ever pick other people’s noses?
Do you ever find unidentified brown blobs in your bath?
Do you think being able to burp the alphabet is an important life skill?
Do you like stories about disgusting things like dead flies, giant slugs, maggots and brussel sprouts?
SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.
3-5
You are completely and utterly disgusting. You will love this book.
1-2
You are fairly disgusting. You will love this book.
0
You are either a liar or an adult (or both). You will love this book.
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST SHOCKING!
Is this the right book for you?
Take the SHOCKING TEST and find out.
Do you wish you could drive around in a monster truck crushing everybody and everything that gets in your way?
Do you love watching videos of people having painful accidents?
Do you do any – or all – of the following: touch electric fences, play with loaded mousetraps or put buttons up your nose?
Do you think stories about exploding pink butterflies are funny?
Do you ever laugh so hard that you feel like you’re going to throw up all over yourself... and then you actually do?
SCORE: One point for each yes answer.
3-5
You are a shocking, shocking person! You will love this book.
1-2
You are quite shocking! You will love this book.
0
What a shocking score! You will love this book.
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST MACBETH!
• Take one Shakespearean tragedy: Macbeth.
• Add Andy, Danny and Lisa – the Just trio, whose madcap exploits have already delighted hundreds of thousands of readers for the last ten years.
• Mix them all together to create one of the most hilarious, most dramatic, moving stories of love, Whizz Fizz, witches, murder and madness, from the bestselling and funniest children’s author in Australia.
ANDY GRIFFITHS AND TERRY DENTON
JUST DOOMED!
YES / NO
Do you ignore health warnings and safety instructions whenever possible?
Do you ever play kiss chasey with girls (if you are a boy) or with boys (if you are a girl)?
Do you regularly engage in deadly battles with brothers, sisters and/or indestructible cyborg warriors?
Do you live on a planet that will one day be incinerated by an expanding star called the Sun?
Do you like fast-paced, high-action, high-body-count stories featuring mini-golf, lawn bowls and naked people in the nude?
SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer
3-5
You are definitely DOOMED! You will love this book.
1-2
You are fairly DOOMED! You will love this book.
0
You are DOOMED, you just don’t realise it.
First published 2017 in Pan by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Limited 1 Market Street, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, 2000
Copyright © Flying Beetroot Pty Ltd 2017
Illustrations copyright © Terry Denton 2017
The moral right of the author to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.
All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.
This ebook may not include illustrations and/or photographs that may have been in the print edition.
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry is available from the National Library of Australia http://catalogue.nla.gov.au
EPUB format: 9781760554309
Typeset by Seymour Designs Cover design by Seymour Designs Cover images: Terry Denton
The characters in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Love talking about books? Find Pan Macmillan Australia online to read more about all our books and to buy both print and ebooks. You will also find features, author interviews and news of any author events.
The 91-Storey Treehouse Page 7
