by Reagan Shaw
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mom sniffed. “You’ve never had any ambition, have you, Erika? You were the bookish one in your family, nothing like your brother Marc, who’s a fantastic businessman, from what I hear.”
“I am what I am,” Erika said, still sharp as nails. “And I wouldn’t change what I do for the world. I’m really disappointed, Mrs. Cox. When I saw you this morning, I was excited to catch up, but it seems you’re only here to fulfill an agenda.”
My parents quieted, and a smile cracked my lips apart. Shit, little miss was actually defending me? She had to know I didn’t need that, but the fact that she gave this much of a shit warmed the hell of the coal lump I called a heart.
I entered the living room before things could reach an ugly head and placed the plates on the coffee table next to the pizzas. I handed out the beers but paused on Erika’s one. I cracked it for her, then gave it over.
“Thanks,” she said and took a sip. She drank beer as neatly as she ate. The only time I’d seen her sloppy was on my cock. “I was just telling your folks about what we do. It’s an amazing job.”
My parents were mirror images of disapproval. In fact, they were dirtying up the vibe in here.
“All right,” I said and clapped my hands. “That’s fucking it.”
“Language,” my mother gasped, faking it as usual. She swore like a damn trooper on a good day.
I reached over and plucked the beer cans from their hands. I lifted the pizza boxes from the table and placed them in my father’s lap. “Get out,” I said. “Take your shitty attitude, your crappy pizza, and get the fuck out of my apartment.”
“Noah!” Mom exclaimed. My father looked as if he’d lapsed into shock.
“Now,” I grunted. “I’ve had enough. The only reason I put up with you here was because I had a guest. It seems you’ve pissed her off too, so the gloves are fucking off. Get out of my apartment right now. Next time you want to talk, call me. I’ll see if I can free up some time in my schedule to have a discussion with you.”
They stared at me for a second longer, and I checked my watch, looked back up at them.
Finally, they got up and made for the hall. I walked them all the way to the doors, hit the down button for the elevator in silence, then ensured they were inside and on their way down before returning to the living room.
Erika sat exactly where I’d left her but stared out of the windows instead of at me. “Well,” she said, “that was interesting. I had no idea your parents were like that.”
“Manipulative twats?” I asked. “Yeah, they play the game well, but I’m done being fooled by them.”
“Sorry I basically invited them here tonight,” Erika said. “I was just trying to be friendly. I had no idea they’d spring that on you. Sheesh, you’d swear they thought you were fresh out of college, not a qualified physician.”
I shrugged. “I really don’t give a fuck, Erika. We’ve got bigger problems.”
She faced me, frowning, her breasts pressing against the cotton of her top. They were so fucking luscious I could barely think straight. “What’s that?”
“They took the pizzas with them. We’re out of food.” I didn’t bother mentioning that I’d overheard her defending me. That would only make things tenser between us. “What are you in the mood for?”
She licked her lips and looked me over.
Fuck me.
“Uh, how about sushi?”
“On it,” I said.
The next twenty minutes passed painfully slowly while we waited for the sushi to arrive. I unbuttoned my cotton button-down and let it hang loose. Erika stared at me, and I grinned at her, challenged her with my eyes.
She tied her hair up high, adjusted her shirt around those breasts, and licked her full lips. “Why are you staring at me?” she asked.
“Why do you think, Erika? Just because we came up with this pact, doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about breaking it. No sex doesn’t work for me.”
“In general?”
“Fuck no. Just with you,” I said, and balanced my forearms on my thighs. “You have no idea what I’d do to you, Erika.”
“I have some idea,” she whispered, green eyes sparkling. “We both have some experience in the matter.”
I sat back with my beer, shirt falling open further, exposing my abs, my tats, and I watched her admire me. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
Erika cleared her throat. “And I won’t see anything more. Perhaps, we should steer this conversation into calmer waters. You know what I’d really like to do sometime?”
“What?” I asked, mildly amused by the evasion, mostly frustrated by it.
“Take a walk in Central Park. I’ve never been,” she said, and shrugged her shoulders. “I went straight from Syracuse to Chicago, and that was it. Didn’t really get the chance to explore the city, and you know what a fan I am of Friends. Central Park. You get it, right?”
“I do. And it can be arranged,” I replied.
Erika smiled but switched her focus to the windows again. The buzzer rang, signaling that our food had arrived, and shut the conversation down. I fetched the food and returned to a muted Erika. She barely spoke throughout our meal and excused herself right after and went straight to bed, leaving me to drink on my own.
She’d put her foot down. She wouldn’t let it happen. We’d made this dumbass no-sex agreement, but I was already sick of it. Too tense from her constant presence, from the desire.
She’d made this a challenge.
And I never backed down from a challenge.
Erika
“What a Tuesday,” I said, as I stopped at the nurses’ station. “I’d kill for a coffee.”
“Tough morning, Dr. Gray?” one of the nurses, Maggie, asked. She was a total sweetheart and had been one of the first nurses to introduce herself to me. She was older, but sweet as sugar, and wore her uniform like a badge. “I heard Mrs. Henson screaming from the other side of the department.”
“Natural birth,” I replied and wiped the back of my hand across my forehead. “She refused an epidural and was furious when I told her we didn’t do water births at this hospital. Apparently, her midwife was unavailable. Emergency admission.”
“Tough cookie?”
“To be fair, she was pushing a baby out of her nether regions,” I replied and stirred the coffee in the Styrofoam cup Maggie had just handed me.
The nurse nodded sagely. “Every woman’s different. The screamers, the criers, the breathers, and once, I swear it on my mother’s grave, there was a patient who was entirely silent. She just sweated it out and gritted her teeth. That was a bad day.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Well, this lady, she was so soft-spoken and a total sweetheart, but her husband…” Maggie grimaced, and her usually serene features twisted. “He was a piece of work. I’m sure she was quiet because he told her to be, though I never heard it myself. She was so tense, that poor woman, and I don’t think it was about the baby.”
“What did you do?” I asked, and my thoughts flashed back to Jason, the practice, the complications. I shook my head to clear it. “Did you report him?”
“I’m afraid there was nothing to report him for, Dr. Gray,” Maggie continued, as another nurse, Gabriela, approached. She was younger and a definite gossip in the department. “But I know Dr. Cox took issue with the husband.”
Gabriela clicked her tongue and halted mid-stride. “Chatting about Dr. Cox, Mags? You know, he’s a little too young for you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Gab,” Maggie replied and rolled her eyes at the younger woman. “We were merely talking about the notorious silent birth. Remember that day?”
“Oh yeah, yeah, I remember,” Gabriela replied, and walked around to the computer. She hit a few buttons then sighed. “I’m far more interested in Dr. Cox. He’s a total dreamboat. I heard that you’re family friends with him, Dr. Gray. Is that right?”
“Well, news certainly does tr
avel fast around here, doesn’t it?” I blinked at the younger nurse, and she gave me a sneaky grin in return, tucking her dark hair behind her ears.
“If it’s news, I know it,” she replied. “I’ve been keeping my eye on Cox. You see, he’s connected. I’m pretty sure that he’s the one who got—”
“Hush,” Maggie said, and pressed a finger to her lips, just as the man himself marched down the linoleum-tiled hall. Noah’s coat flapped out behind him, his shirt pressed flat against his well-defined pecs, tugging at his abs, and I held my breath, kept my expression impassive.
“Afternoon, Dr. Cox,” Gabriela called out.
He nodded to her and pulled up short. “Gray,” he said, and flashed a smile that was softer than any I’d seen from him before. “Just came from delivery.”
“How was it?” I asked, and tilted my head to one side. “Any complications?”
“None,” he replied. “It was the perfect birth. Baby practically slipped free of the mother.” He lowered his tone and moved closer to me.
Maggie caught the hint and hurried off down the hall, no doubt to check on one of the patients in the private rooms, while Gabriela sniffed and leaned over the computer, no doubt listening as hard as her ears would allow.
“It amazes me every time,” Noah said, softly, “what we do. The fact that I get to bring someone into the world. Fuck, you know what, I’ve always believed that the only real love is a parent’s love for their child. My folks are a pain in the ass, but I’ve never doubted that. Do you hear what I’m saying?”
“Yes,” I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat. A parent’s love for a child, something I’d never experience. “And I agree with you. It’s why I got into this too. It’s a miracle every time. Makes me glow inside.”
“You always glow inside,” he whispered, and my skin prickled. “Don’t forget, we’ve got a date with the park this weekend.”
“As long as the date is with the park,” I replied.
He chuckled and pinched the sleeve of my coat with two fingers, tugged it, lightly. “You always make me smile, Gray.” And then he swept off again, leaving me in a swirl of mixed emotions, the predominant one, shock.
“Sweet, isn’t he?” Gabriela said, but the sharpness of it brought me back to Earth with a bump. “He’s always like that after he’s delivered a baby. Goes all glossy-eyed and happy. I think he’d make an amazing father, don’t you?”
All hints of happiness drained from me. A father. I shrugged. “None of my business, nurse,” I replied. “I’ve got work to do, and I suggest you get back to your duties.” And then it was my turn to stride off, ignoring the hot glare from Gabriela at my back.
I didn’t care about her disapproval or about making friends with the hospital gossip. I was here to do my job, to live my dream of being a mother, in some sense, even if it was vicariously. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I refused them outright and thought instead of this weekend and how fun it would be to check out Central Park.
Better to focus on that than the alternative. Of my inability to be the woman I’d always wanted to be, and what that meant for me, for my relationships, and for my future.
Noah
The weekend had finally hit, and I had this Saturday afternoon to myself, with her. Fuck, I’d looked forward to this day the whole week. You’re too into this, jackass.
“You ready to go?” I called out and adjusted the strap of my Canon. The snow had officially stopped, and today was the perfect day for a stroll through the park. There’d be people building snowmen and kids screeching as they pummeled each other with snowballs. Christmas shoppers all up and down the street, carrying their packages.
“One second,” Erika called back, “just getting my coat.” She emerged a second later, in a red coat with a pair of matching gloves. “Festive, don’t you think?”
I shrugged. I’d never been huge on Christmas. My parents had made a big deal of it growing up, but it was more about family fights and drunken nights than actually being together and enjoying the holiday.
“Well, I like it,” Erika said, and spun in a circle. The coat lifted slightly and I caught a glimpse of her ass in her black, skinny jeans. “It’s about time you decorate this house, too. It’s sparse, and since I’m going to be here, I’ve taken it upon myself to Christmas-fy your apartment.”
“Oh god,” I replied. “Do I even want to know what that means?”
“Tinsel.” Erika’s eyes shone. “Santa Claus statuettes. Lights. Fake snow. A Christmas tree and ornaments.”
I lifted two fingers and faked warding her off. “You don’t think the decorations at St. Katherine’s provide enough festive cheer?”
“Not nearly,” Erika replied and sauntered closer. God, she was beautiful. “And, unfortunately for you, I’m one of those super annoying overenthusiastic Christmas people. It’s about to get snowy up in the penthouse suite.”
I laughed. “Fine, we’ll stop for whatever you need after the park. Let’s head out.”
Erika paused and considered my camera. “What’s this?” she asked.
“This? Well, Erika, this is a camera. Some say it can capture images. Pictures, if you will.”
She thwacked me on the arm, playfully. “You know what I mean. Why do you have it?”
“Just something I like to do in my spare time,” I replied. “It’s always been a hobby of mine.”
“I had no idea,” Erika said.
We set off down the hall and into the elevator, then left my heated apartment behind. We made our way through the lobby, greeted the doorman, then stepped out into the cold. The concrete was wet from the recent snow—the sidewalk in front of my building had already been cleared of it—and I took Erika’s arm, guided her forward a few steps.
We hailed a cab together then clambered in, our noses prickling with cold—hers red, once again, like Rudolph the Reindeer. She peered out the window at the decorations, and I directed the driver to the park entrance I thought would provide the best photo ops.
A couple minutes later, we stopped, I paid the driver, and we got out on West 81st Street and trudged through the gate, closest to the Great Lawn. The pathway lay thick with snow, and the trees, spindly and leafless, were covered in a layer themselves. Erika peered around grinning. “This is amazing,” she said.
“Never had a Christmas in the big city?”
“Never,” she replied. “And I loved Chicago, but this is… It’s magical. It’s everything I could have wanted.”
I lifted the camera, slowed, and snapped a candid pic of her, her blonde locks peeking out from underneath the beanie she’d tugged on, her cheeks pink against the cold.
“Come on,” I said, “you’ve got to see the Great Lawn, and then there’s ice skating on the—”
“Marc?” Erika said, and looked past me. She waved a gloved hand. “Oh my god, it is. It’s Marc! Bro!”
My stomach shriveled up with guilt. Fuck, this was bad. I turned on the spot and watched him approach. I’d totally forgotten he was back this weekend and that he’d wanted to hang out. I’d been so wrapped up in my feelings for his sister. Feelings? What the fuck.
Marc and Jess made their way over, boots crunching in the snow, and stopped just in front of us. Erika embraced Jess in a warm hug, and Marc dragged me into one too, thumped me on the back.
“Hey, man,” he said. “You throw away your phone?”
“Shit, sorry. Things have been a little crazy lately,” I replied.
Marc’s gaze immediately flitted to Erika. “How so?”
“Work.” What else could I say? Tell him I’d slept with his sister? That I’d broken the one rule he’d set out for me regarding our friendship? Yeah, that wasn’t about to happen. Not until I was sure what I wanted out of this.
“I can’t believe you’re back,” Erika said, then punched her brother on the arm. “Why didn’t you call me, asshole? I told you, I want all the news about the trip. We’re freezing our butts off in New York, and you got to su
mmer it up in the Caribbean.”
Marc shrugged, then lifted a finger and swished it first at me, then at Erika. “What’s going on here?” he asked. “You two usually take a stroll together on a Saturday afternoon?”
Erika laughed. “Yeah, right,” she replied. “I’m staying with Noah while my apartment is being repaired.”
“What?”
“Yeah,” she said and quickly relayed the events of the other night, thankfully without mentioning the sweaty dancing in the salsa club I’d taken her to. “So, Luna’s spending Christmas with her mom and dad and staying there until the water damage is repaired and the pipes are friggin’ replaced or whatever, and I had nowhere to go. Noah was kind enough to offer me a place to stay.”
Marc raised an eyebrow. “Really? I had no idea you two were so close.”
“We’re not,” I said. “We just happen to work together.”
If anything, that made my buddy’s eyebrows climb higher. “You do? How the hell did that happen?”
“Coincidence,” I put in and left it at that. That was all anyone needed to know. “So, how was the honeymoon, man? Did you guys have a blast?”
“It was great,” he said, and Jessie immediately launched into a tale about something funny that had happened during a scuba-diving trip. Erika listened, and laughed, but Marc continued frowning at me. “Walk with me, Noah,” he said, under his breath.
We detached from the women and walked a short way ahead, me holding the camera to keep it from bouncing, and cursing my stupid ass for not having called him first. What were the fucking chances we’d run into each other here? Pretty good, since Marc and Jess lived nearby, and they frequented the park. Jesus Christ, I was an asshole.
“What’s going on, Noah?” Marc asked.
“Huh?”
“Dude, what are you doing out here, laughing and snapping pictures of my sister, a couple days before Christmas? And why the hell are you living with her?” Marc asked. “You need to tell me something? You better not need to tell me something. You know how I feel about—”
