Falling For Him

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by Khardine Gray


  I left him with a bloody, broken nose, crying and shaking on the ground, and as for the wife I told her that if she ever went near Zoe again I’d have her arrested for stalking, which was technically what she did when she made her appearance at the school.

  I knew they both got the message.

  I would have made that jerk Brian go and apologize to Zoe, but I thought it was better this way. She wouldn’t have wanted to see him, and his apology would mean nothing to her. In fact, I was pretty certain it would make her feel worse. I knew her so well, well enough to know what worked and what didn’t with her.

  I rested my head against the back of my chair, still feeling agitated. Gibbs was going through the plans for the next few weeks. Gibbs had been a good friend and teammate for years. He was the college talent scout, and our jobs were interconnected with their overlap. I relied on him heavily to check out the most

  talented guys in colleges across the country who would also gel well and fit in with the team.

  We were preparing for the draft season in a few weeks. I was excited for it because this year I knew we could end up with some amazing talent. Talent that could put the Centaurs in a good position to win the Super Bowl. We came close, damn close last year. But the Broncos won.

  This year our star linebacker Jake Bristol was retiring. So things were going to be a little different with the team dynamics.

  My role covered player recruitment and player support. I’d been doing this for three years now and learned that the two went together hand in hand. So when I recruited a new player, or new batch of players, I was thinking like a player myself. Back to the days of when I was in a team and what worked for me. I loved the game, loved it like nothing else and that was why I did this job. I could have easily, easily played for another ten years at the time I retired but I wanted to get my foot into this side of the sport. I had played pro ball until I was played out. I’d made a name for myself and people knew me for notoriety on the field as the infamous Rams quarterback. I’d retired from game play three years ago to do this. So far, I was loving it and felt I’d reached the epitome of my calling in life.

  All teams wanted the best. But it meant jack if those players couldn’t act like a team and play as a unit when they were out on the field.

  There were two kinds of football players I’d come to know in my years in the sport. Those who played for fame, and those who played the game to help their team win. The latter didn’t care about fame. That was how I was. I never set out to be famous. That fame that found me was just a natural reaction to the order of things.

  It was men like that I wanted on this team.

  Gibbs did well this year in his travels across the country. We had our eyes on ten seriously good players. Gibbs had played college football and went straight into the management side of things after that.

  He went to all the college games to check out the talent and reported back to me. If there was anyone who caught my interests from his report, we’d keep our eyes on them. It helped put us in a better position for draft season. If all went well in a few weeks then we could be looking at a really promising year.

  I looked at Gibbs and could see how excited he was as he took out the reports he made on all our potentials. He was as eager as I was to win the Super Bowl, or even have the chance to make it that far in the upcoming season.

  Of course, I was right there with him and wanting to share the excitement, but I couldn’t think past this whole Zoe and Brian thing. It pissed me off to no end that Brian had treated her like that and my fury made it so I couldn’t really listen to Gibbs properly. Even though I knew what he was saying was all good stuff. I couldn’t tell him to reschedule either because I knew he worked hard to put the reports together. This was what I would take and review with a fine tooth comb until we had to make the trek to Philadelphia for the three day long draft event at the Franklin Parkway.

  I hoped she would be okay by then. I hated to leave her in any distress, and I’d never seen her look more distraught. She’d taken two days off work.

  Zoe didn’t even take time off when she was sick. Her students always came first, and she pushed herself to go in just for them.

  But, yes, two days. That showed me the extent of her grief.

  I knew she and Brian were getting serious and I was actually gearing myself up to lose her to him. It sounded strange to put it that way but I knew the day would come where I’d have to be a man and let her go. I was thirty-six now, not that high school kid anymore that desperately needed her, and she’d never needed me.

  This friendship we had was something I knew I’d enhanced because my need for her didn’t stop at high school. No matter how old I got, or how much time passed I needed her, and because of that we’d lived together for the last fifteen years.

  She’d joined me at Stanford, choosing to go there because I was there. Zoe got into at least ten different colleges with her high GPA and perfect SAT scores. But she chose to go where I was. The minute she came my dad got us an offsite apartment where we stayed until I came to LA to join the Rams. And then she followed me once again. That time I asked her to.

  I asked her to come with me, but heck, I didn’t need to because her bags were already packed, and she was ready to go before I could even get the words out.

  People found it strange that we were like that and behaved more like a couple than best friends but that was just how we were.

  We’d been through life together and I knew that one day things will change. More for her than me. She wanted the standard dreams of having a family. A husband and the kids. Maybe a dog or two.

  And I was just a rich asshole who loved women too much.

  “The speed on this guy never ceases to amaze me,” Gibbs commented with an enthusiastic nod. His New York accent heavy. “We need this kid here, Tristan. We get him, we got the next few months in the bag.”

  I look at the picture of who he’s pointing to. It’s Arthur Swarez. I nodded too and think of when I last saw Arthur play. The kid was fast and definitely the kind of guy I hope to sign. He had what I call raw talent. At twenty-five years old that guy played like he was made for the sport and I could see him going far.

  “I think we should gather all the guys in for socials early this year. They can get used to the new recruits,” Gibbs added. He straightened in his chair opposite me and smiled like he did when he had great ideas.

  “Yeah, that sounds cool,” I agreed completely. Gibbs was great at this. He always knew what to say and do. He could think for me when my mind was elsewhere.

  “Fundraiser.” I offered, trying to get my mind to work. “We should do one. Those always go down well and the guys like dressing up.” I smiled.

  I liked dressing up and any excuse to bring out my Tom Ford or Boss suits.

  I dressed well for work but the environment was smart casual. The only other time I really went all out was for dates.

  Gibbs nodded with a smile that lit up his green eyes. “Let’s aim for the last week of May. That will give us time. The guys would have started promotional work then too so they’ll be fine to get together.”

  “I like that.”

  I was thinking of having a week or two off at some point to spend with Zoe.

  We had this tradition to celebrate our friendship anniversary. When I left for college she thought she’d never see me again. It was understandable with my wild ways. She thought we’d lose contact. At the time we’d only known each other for two years but we were inseparable. We got along and so did our families. It was great.

  In order to make sure we kept our friendship going, we made a box that contained sealed envelopes with notes written from our younger selves. The notes contained all sorts of activities our imagination cooked up for us to do on our friendship anniversary. The idea was to meet up on the day wherever we were and do whatever the box told us.

  Fortunately, there hadn’t been a year yet that saw us away from each other and some of the activities we came up with t
ook us to incredible places. From Paris to Japan. Last year we did the Inca trail. It was cool that our teenage selves wrote all those things for our future selves to live out.

  I didn’t know what the box had in store for us this year but I was just thinking we could go away on a break. Anywhere. I’d get her to pick. She just needed a relaxing vacation somewhere. Someplace where Zoe could get over what happened with Brian. And all the other low lifes. They year before Brian was that creep Tom. I called him the opportunist because that was exactly what he was. He got with Zoe just to befriend me. I was fortunate enough to spot fake friends from a mile away. In this sport, you had to because I didn’t have time for them.

  He left Zoe when he saw he couldn’t get anywhere with me. He wanted me to put in a good word with our PR company. Of course when I saw what was happening I did no such thing. I heard he tried to get in with the Rams management, but that was a dead end for him. Sure, I could have helped him, but the fact that he used Zoe ended any form of help he would get from me.

  Her other boyfriends were just as bad and I was starting to think I’d have to vet these people first before she went out with them. It would annoy her to no end, but even she had to agree that she couldn’t keep on like this. This was why I never got involved in serious relationships. Granted, I’d actually never met a woman yet who’d made me want to contemplate it, but I never set out for anything more than fun. The longest I’d been with any woman was a max of eight weeks. That happened a total of three times in my life and each time was a disaster.

  I had my ways of living my life, which wasn’t for everyone. Zoe couldn’t stand how I was with women, but that was just me. I liked having fun, and I’d know how well I’d get along with a woman within seconds of meeting her. Why fix something if it wasn’t broken?

  I could have easily told her that she should try to be more like me, but that would have been more horrifying for my nerves. So it was best to go with what she wanted but maybe offer some insight. Truth be told, I never liked any of her boyfriends. To me they weren’t man enough for her. I couldn’t stand Brian and thought he was annoying, lame, and told the worst jokes. It was a real pleasure to beat him up, but at the same time it felt like it wasn’t enough because he’d hurt Zoe the most.

  The other guys had simply left her, but he turned her into something she hated. The other woman.

  I knew without her having to tell me. I could see the self-disgust in her eyes and that was why I wanted to take her away for a while. She’d also been working way too hard at the school. She deserved to be treated so I wanted to splash out on her and get her whatever she wanted.

  There was a small tap at my office door.

  “Come in,” I called out.

  The door opened and in she came as if she’d materialized from my thoughts.

  “Baby.” I beamed on seeing her.

  Gibbs stared like he always did. Most of the guys did with her.

  He liked Zoe, all the guys here did because she had that warm homely presence about her that I’d always remembered from when we met. I knew years had passed since, but in my mind, she’d always be that fourteen-year-old girl who wore daisies in her hair and wrote with sparkly glitter pens.

  “Hi.” She smiled back at me then looked over at Gibbs, who was still staring. She blushed a little. “Gibbs.” She tipped her head at him

  “Hey,” Gibbs managed. I looked at his cheeks, which were now starting to color. He was also doing that thing where he ran a quick hand through his scruffy dark curls, covertly making sure his hair looked decent.

  I tried not to laugh at him.

  I would have considered setting them up, since Zoe was single again. But Gibbs was just a fraction better than me, so definitely not the kind of guy she wanted. And I had to admit that even though he was a close friend to me and comparable to a brother, he wasn’t good enough for her and I wouldn’t trust him with her.

  I looked down at the basket she carried. “What have you bought me?”

  “Banana muffins.” She smiled, eyes twinkling with delight as she tucked a lock of her shiny brown hair behind her ear.

  She looked pretty today in a simple blue camisole top and a beige wrap over skirt. She wore her hair down too, which I liked because of the loose waves that graced her elbows.

  “You baked me banana muffins?” I asked and couldn’t help the concern I felt. She liked baking, but the only reason she would have done this batch of muffins, which I could now smell, was for a distraction.

  “I thought you and the boys deserved a treat.”

  “I’m very thankful.” Gibbs chimed in nodding quickly.

  She turned to him and handed him the basket. “There’s thirty in there. I think I brought enough.”

  “Wow, I didn’t think you could get more perfect.” Gibbs gleamed, outrightly flirting with her.

  “Thank you.”

  I noticed she looked a little uneasy at the comment. Probably because she didn’t believe in her perfection.

  “Baby, come here to me before Gibbs steals you away.” I laughed.

  “Hey,” Gibbs protested, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t spoil my chances, man.”

  “Chances? I’ll tell you when you have a chance with my girl.” I gave him a pointed look which made Gibbs back down.

  He knew better than to make any attempts on Zoe without asking me first. I could see his interest and it was nice, but after this whole Brian thing I was determined to be extra, extra protective of her.

  When I looked back at Zoe, she had her eyebrows raised at me so I shrugged and moved over to her to take her arm.

  We went outside and sat on one of the benches that overlooked the fountain and the front of the office building.

  “Gibbs was just being nice.” She gave me a look of scrutiny and tilted her head to the side.

  “Nice isn’t going to get him anywhere near you.” I gave her a little smile. “And after this Brian fiasco, be prepared for me to be super protective.”

  “Tristan, I don’t need you playing crazy overprotective friend. I can pick my own guys.”

  I just looked at her, because I knew whatever answer I gave would make her feel bad.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” she chided.

  “Baby, what do you expect me to look like with a comment like that.” I owed it to her as her friend to be honest and truthful. “I think you pick these lame assholes because they look like dweebs. Weak men who look half decent, and that half is a stretch because Jesus, Brian looked like a dog’s ass. You pick them because you think they’re safe options.”

  I hold my hands up and mimicked inverted commas with my fingers as I enunciated the words safe options. I’d heard her use the term before mainly in conversations to her friend Rachel. There was one more thing I knew, and I figured it out from the first boyfriend Joey. He was at least half decent in the cool sort of way but if I saw him now, I would have killed him for the way he left Zoe.

  From my analysis of Joey I knew straight away that her father abandoning her and her family had messed her up when it came to picking men. The safe options phrase she used had a deeper meaning than the loose manner in which she threw it around. All these guys she’d been with, there was no way in hell she could tell me that she’d been attracted to them. No way, and each one was uglier than the last. Like she was determined to pick guys who she thought were less likely to be trouble, or leave her.

  I wouldn’t say that to her like that, as we didn’t talk about her father—ever—he was unmentionable. I didn’t know if she spoke more to Rachel about him, but I suspected she didn’t because Zoe told me everything.

  I wish we could talk more about that though because I could at least insert my opinion before she gave the losers a chance. She could do a million times better than pick these lame assholes that kept hurting her.

  She frowned and looked down at her hands. “You’re right.”

  In all the years that we’d known each other, that was the quickest she’d ever agreed
with me. I wanted to continue this conversation, but I saw from the sad look in her eyes that there’s more to this visit than bringing muffins for me and the boys. It wasn’t often she needed me. It was very rare, to the point of non-existence, but when she needed me I could tell. I tried to do things for her without her having to ask, like when I cancelled my date with Beth to stay with her when she told me about Brian. And like now, except now was different.

  She came to look for me at work occasionally, but not so much in these early hours of the day where she’d normally be at work. Last time I checked it was nearly eleven. This visit today told me something else happened.

  “What happened today, baby? Did you go to work?”

  She looked down at her hands and ran her thumb over the glossy pink nail of her index finger. The soft color matched her lips.

  “I went and people were staring at me. At first I thought nothing of it because Brian’s wife encountered me in the car park where there weren’t many people. But I forget how news and gossip spreads fast. When I heard the whispers, I had to leave. Miss Carter’s a homewrecker.” She said it with a nod, and a tear ran down her cheek. “That’s what I heard. People were saying that about me. The students.”

  This was the kind of thing that fucking pissed me off. Repercussions of bad decisions. I understood the need for Brian’s wife to confront Zoe. It was a natural reaction for someone upon finding out your spouse was cheating. But to go and do it at their place of work was real damn low.

  And what was worse was Brian seemed happy with his wife when I saw them last night. She’d come to his aid, threatening to call the police but got scared when I upped my scare tactic and threatened back because she’d been stalking Zoe.

  “You can’t let it get to you, baby.”

  “I don’t know if I can go back.” She wiped away fresh tears. “I feel so ashamed and dirty, and all those rumors are going to destroy my image. How can I be head of a department with things like that going around about me?”

  I felt really bad for her. This was one area that I couldn’t have any sway over, other than to encourage her and make sure she didn’t give up.

 

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