Axel: (A Gritty Bad Boy MC Romance) (The Lost Breed MC Book 2)

by Ali Parker

  “Well,” Jax said, pulling my thoughts from the darkest corners of my mind. “If you need any help, you know I’ve got your back, right? I may not know shit about kids, but I can try. And the other boys will be there for you too. Have you talked to Ryder?”

  “Not yet.”

  “You should. He should know. Hanna will have a place with all of us.”

  “I don’t know if I want that.”

  “The only way to get her out of it is if you leave, man. And we both know that option isn’t on the table anymore. Besides, the MC isn’t that bad. We can help give her a good life. Keep her safe. Scare off future boyfriends.” Jax winked.

  “Not with Watson around,” I blurted out.

  Jax arched an eyebrow and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he rocked back on his heels. “Oh?”

  I shook my head and blew out an exasperated breath. “That’s the main reason I wanted you to meet me here. I had to tell someone about Hanna because I’m going to make a move soon. I’m going to have to. Otherwise, people are going to start getting hurt, and I don’t want that on my conscience. I have enough shit to deal with right now.”

  “What do you mean by make a move? What are you planning, Axel?”

  Jax didn’t need to know all the details. I wanted to keep him as far away from all this as possible because I had another, more important job for him. One with even higher stakes than handling Watson and his goons.

  “I need you to promise me something.” I held Jax’s gaze.

  “Anything.” Jax’s hands came out of his pockets, and he crossed his arms.

  “If something happens to me—”

  “Come on, man, don’t fuck with me like this. I don’t want to have one of these heart-to-hearts where you think something bad is going to happen.”

  “I don’t care what you want,” I growled. “You need to promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll watch out for Ellie and Hanna. I trust you. I’ve always trusted you. And so does Ellie.”

  Jax’s forehead was creased as his eyebrows drew so close together, they were almost touching. “I don’t like this.”

  “You don’t have to like it. You just have to promise.”

  “Why don’t I come with you for whatever this thing is you’re planning? You’re gonna need another guy to make sure it all goes down the way you want. Fuck, man, you can’t seriously be considering taking on Watson by yourself. You must be mental.”

  “I have to do this one alone. I can’t afford to make any mistakes. More people means more collateral where Watson is concerned. I know what I’m doing, Jax. If anyone has a chance of knocking him off his seat, it’s me.”

  Jax rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “All right, fine. I promise.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’d better not make me fucking regret this, man. I don’t want to be the one to have to explain this shit to Ryder if things go sideways. You hear me?”

  I nodded. “I hear you. Loud and clear.”

  “He’d knock my fucking teeth out and wear them as a necklace.”

  I nodded. I could picture the image quite easily. “It won’t come to that. Everything will be fine.” It has to be.

  “I sure as hell hope so because if Ryder doesn’t kill me, Ellie sure as hell will. And to be honest, I think I’m more afraid of her than I am of the President. You know? I’ve seen that spark of crazy in her eye before. She’d beat my skull in with a tire iron.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen to me, Jax. But you know how it is. In the MC, you always have to prepare for the worst. You never know what tomorrow might bring. And I can’t leave people behind without knowing there’s someone there looking out for them. You’ve always been a good friend to me, man. I’m grateful for it.”

  Jax scrunched up his nose like he had just caught a whiff of a horrendous smell. He waved me away and took a step back. “Keep your feelings to yourself, you pussy. I don’t need to hear them. I don’t want this to turn into a moment.”

  I laughed and so did Jax, and the reprieve from the serious conversation was welcomed. I had said everything I needed to, and Jax, in typical Jax fashion, had received it well. He was making jokes, but I knew he understood how serious this all was and how much it meant to me. Ellie was the most important thing in my life now, and so was Hanna. I would do whatever it took to ensure their safety, and I trusted Jax would do the same.

  He had just promised me he would, and a promise in the MC was never broken.

  I extended my hand, and Jax took it. We shook on it firmly, holding each other’s gaze for a brief moment.

  “Thanks.” I nodded.

  Jax let go of my hand and turned back to his truck. As he opened the door, he paused and twisted back around to me. “Don’t do anything stupid, all right?”

  “When have I ever done anything stupid?”

  Jax threw his head back and laughed at the sky before sliding into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. He pulled away, leaving me alone with the charred rubble before me.

  It was a reminder of the damage that had already been done.

  A call to the fight.

  And my answer was at the tip of my tongue.

  “I’m coming for you,” I muttered, before looking up at the clouds that were heavy with rain, ready to let loose and let the water fall down on us.

  Chapter 24

  Ellie

  Axel returned to the shop later in the afternoon, after Hanna had already woken up from her nap. He greeted me with a kiss and bent down to talk to Hanna about what she’d been doing during the morning. It was the first time I saw him really interact with his daughter of his own free will. I found myself smiling as I watched the two of them, realizing that even though this had been thrust on him, Axel was taking fatherhood in stride and not running from the responsibility. He was rising to the occasion like I knew he would.

  Suddenly, he was even more attractive to me, and I could barely stand to look at him when he was talking to Hanna. So, I turned away to focus on my work.

  Throughout the afternoon, I caught Axel watching me work. It was a little unsettling to realize the looks he was giving me were different from the ones I was used to receiving from him. Normally, if he was looking at me for a prolonged period of time, it was because he was checking me out. He was never concerned about others seeing him do it. He was the master of the shop, after all, and everyone knew he and I had been kind of a thing even before we made it more official.

  But the looks he was giving me now were deeper somehow. They were thoughtful, concerned, and almost sad. It was unnerving. Every time I caught his eye, he would look away and get back to work on whatever he was busying himself with. All work efforts seemed half-hearted on his part, and when the day ended as the sun set, I began to think something might be seriously wrong.

  As we locked up the shop and said goodbye to Jamie, I considered pulling him aside to talk to him. Maybe he was having doubts about me being around now that he had a daughter to worry about. Or, maybe, he was worried I might up and leave now that he and Hanna were a package deal. He hadn’t asked to become a father, so maybe he was concerned I wasn’t interested in his new life.

  That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  I was in love with Axel. I wanted to be with him. Hanna was icing on the cake in a way. She was a sweet little girl, and she was part of the man I loved. How could I not want to be part of her life?

  As I strapped Hanna into her booster seat in the back seat of Axel’s car, I decided I would talk to him once we got home. Hanna was half asleep two minutes later when we pulled out of the parking lot, so I knew I’d be able to put her down to sleep in her bedroom when we got home, and Axel and I would be granted some one-on-one time that I knew we desperately needed. Both of us had sat alone with our thoughts for too long. We needed to put everything out on the table so we could meet one another’s needs and expectations.

  At the very least, he needed to know I wasn’t going
to run.

  I had butterflies in my stomach when the gate closed behind us in Axel’s driveway. I took the sleeping Hanna out of her seat, and Axel unlocked the front door of the house. Cade jumped all over both of us, and I had to stifle a soft giggle that bubbled up in my throat. He was such a joy.

  I went to Hanna’s room, and Axel grabbed us each an ice-cold beer from the fridge, which he handed to me when I met him in the living room.

  “Dinner?” He asked.

  “I’m not hungry.” I took a sip of the beer and smiled.

  We both sank down on his sofa. Axel draped one arm over the back of it while he lifted his beer to his lips and took a few mouthfuls. I watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed, and I shifted in my corner of the sofa. He was so fucking sexy all the goddamn time. It made things like normal conversation rather difficult sometimes.

  “So,” I said slowly, trying to get the conversation started. “Where did you run off to this morning? You seemed a bit, I don’t know, off when you came back to the shop.”

  Axel shrugged one shoulder and dropped his gaze so he wasn’t looking at me when he answered. “I had to talk to Jax. I wanted to tell him about everything that’s happened over the last couple of days. About Hanna.”

  I nodded. That made sense. Of course, that’s all he had been doing. No one in the MC knew about his daughter, and they were a big family. It was normal for him to want to share the news with the others, and Jax was probably the perfect one to start with.

  “Does Johnny know yet?” I asked.

  Axel shook his head. “Not yet. There are some things I want to get done before I bring him in on it.”

  “Bring him in on it?” I teased, sipping my beer. “You talk about her like she’s one of your jobs.”

  Axel frowned and still wouldn’t look up at me. Maybe I had said the wrong thing. I backpedaled in an attempt to redirect the conversation.

  “What did Jax say?”

  “He was shocked. But he came around after a bit. He’s glad you’re around to help me out. He knows I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own. He offered his help too.”

  “That was nice of him,” I said as my heart soared in my chest. The worry of Axel thinking I was going to leave him was slipping away. Although, something still seemed wrong. Very wrong. Axel was quiet and subdued, and he only ever got like this when he was lost in his own thoughts. Usually, the thoughts were dark, or they were on their way to turning dark. Either way, I knew I only had a small window of time to get him to open up to me.

  “It sounds like the two of you had a good chat. How come you seem upset?”

  Finally, he looked up at me. His blue eyes were hard, almost angry, but I didn’t get the feeling he was angry with me. “I have to tell you something, Ellie, and I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.”

  My heart sank immediately. “Okay. What is it?” I put on my brave, neutral face. He was about to be honest with me, and I wasn’t going to do anything to fuck that up. He needed to get whatever this was off his chest. I could see how much it was weighing him down. It was a burden. And a big one.

  Axel began absently picking at a thread at the knee of his jeans as he swirled his beer around. “The Black Hearts have a new leader. His name is Watson. He’s the one who called the hit to burn down the shop, I’m sure of it. And he’s had scouts out and about to keep tabs on us. On me.”

  I blinked away my surprise. Scouts? Seriously? “Do they know where you live?”

  “I doubt it. But they know where the new shop is. They’ve done a couple passes by it. I was content to ride it out a bit longer before, well, before Hanna. A bit more time would have helped me confirm a few things before I took action. But now I can’t wait any longer.”

  “Wait any longer?” I asked. My fingers were tingling with nerves, and a cold sweat had broken out on the back of my neck. I didn’t like how any of this sounded. “What are you planning on doing? Why is any of this your responsibility? Isn’t Johnny the one who should be dealing with these guys?”

  “Under other circumstances, yeah, the ball would be in Johnny’s court.”

  Other circumstances? What did that mean? I had to ask the question even though I didn’t want the answer, not anymore. This conversation had taken a turn for the worst very quickly. My heart was hammering in my chest so hard that I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. “Okay. Why are you taking responsibility for all of this, then? Axel,” I reached out and put a hand on his knee. “Please, tell me everything. I don’t want to be kept in the dark.”

  His blue eyes flicked back and forth between mine. Then he tilted his chin back to finish his beer, and when he looked back at me, I could see the decision on his features. He was going to tell me everything.

  I finished my beer too.

  “I should start by telling you I’ve already made some moves. One of which being that Johnny and I went to that clubhouse to beat the living hell out of those Black Hearts boys.”

  “I know,” I said quietly.

  Axel nodded. “That was before I heard the rumor of them having a new leader. But Jax confirmed it. A man by the name of Watson has taken over for Tanner.”

  “Okay,” I said to fill the pause Axel took. I licked my lips nervously. “And?”

  “And I used to know him. I knew him pretty well.”

  I waited for Axel to keep talking. I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. It was obvious he was trying to pick a place to start. I nestled deeper into the corner of the sofa and brought my feet off the floor to rest my ankles in his lap. He looked over at me, and I gave him the softest smile I could manage. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Axel put his hands on my ankles and started talking while his fingers traced patterns on my skin. “I ran with Watson when we were younger. I knew him growing up, but we never really clicked until just out of high school. Watson brought me into his fold. He and his boys welcomed me in with open arms and gave me a home when mine fell apart. Had I known what I was getting myself into, I never would have joined up with him. I would have stayed very far away.

  “But, I made my mistake. We became friends. We trusted each other. I helped him pull off jobs for years before I realized what everyone already knew. Watson was unstable. Mentally. He’d completely lose his temper and explode. I still have never seen anything like it.”

  “Johnny loses his temper,” I said. “It happens all the time.”

  “When Johnny loses his temper, he has a reason. And you can talk him off the ledge. At least, people who he cares about can. But Watson was insane. He’d kill his own boys, Ellie. No mercy. If you fucked up and let him down, you had no idea what he was going to do to you.”

  “So I left him. It wasn’t easy. He didn’t want me to leave. He put up a good fight. Sent a couple of his boys to bring me back. Let’s just say they made it back to him empty-handed. He knew not to come after me. It was a fight neither of us wanted. And then I met Johnny. And everything changed.”

  “You asked me how I had the money to afford this place.” Axel gestured around the living room. “I made it all when I worked with Watson. We stole from people, Ellie. I didn’t earn any of this. I took it. I took it by force, and I never looked back.”

  I swallowed. This truth made my heart ache for him. I could feel the guilt and the shame radiating from him. “You’re not that man anymore.” I hoped those words would reassure him that I didn’t see him in that light. I saw him as the man he was today. The honest, hardworking, sometimes violent, strong, caring man that he was.

  “No. I’m not. But I’m the reason Watson is rearing his head and coming after the MC. Things are only getting started. He’s toying with his food.” Axel’s hands fell still on my ankles, and his jaw clenched, the muscles near his ears catching my eye. “So, I’m going to meet him, and I’m going to make him leave us the hell alone.”

  Nausea rolled in my gut. “Alone?”

  Axel nodded.

  “Are
you sure that’s such a good idea? Shouldn’t you take Johnny or Jax with you? Even Hyde. Anyone would be better than going alone.”

  “No.” Axel shook his head. “Watson isn’t like most men. I’ll have a better shot at convincing him to see reason if I go alone. I’m the one he has the issue with, not Johnny or the rest of the MC.”

  “You’re sure? What if this is just a territorial thing?”

  “It’s not.” Axel’s tone was unquestionable. He was completely certain Watson was here for him. And I believed him.

  “Okay. But, Axel, have you thought this all the way through? You have Hanna now. I know you don’t want to think about that right now, but it’s important. What if—” I stopped talking. Emotion swelled inside me and tried to escape as a sob. I looked away from him as my eyes grew wet and got myself under control. Without meeting his eyes, I finished what I was trying to say. “What if you don’t make it back? Hanna already lost her mom. She can’t lose her dad too.”

  Axel slid across the sofa so he was pressed up against me. He took my chin in his hand and turned my face to him. “I’m coming back. I swear to you, I am. But I have to handle this. What kind of man would I be if I knew I could stop him and never even tried?”

  I had a hundred answers to that question. He’d be alive and home with me every night, safe and sound, tucking his daughter into bed. He’d be mine.

  Instead of answering, I pressed my lips to his. His mind was made up, and I knew there wasn’t a damn thing I could say to get him to change it. So, I kissed him until he gathered me in his lap and held me like he never had before.

  I hated that it almost felt like a goodbye.

  Chapter 25

  Axel

  I shrugged into my leather jacket and was very aware of Ellie’s eyes on me as she sat in her usual corner on the sofa. Hanna was on the ground in front of her, surrounded by a cluster of brightly-colored toys of varying sizes and purposes.