by Laura Lee
“Hey!” she whined. “Who are you calling a bimbo?”
Her friend shot me a look of disgust. “Who do you think you are, asshole?” She looked at Brody and pouted. “Brody bear, are you going to let him talk to my friend like that?”
Brody bear? Oh geez.
“Uh…” he stammers.
She stands up and huffs. “You know what? You’re an asshole just like your friend! Find someone else to suck you off tonight!”
Both women stomp away.
Brody punches me in the arm. “Way to cock block, bro. Rachel has mad head-giving skills. I think my dick actually whimpered as she was walking away. What gives?”
I sigh. “I’m sorry, man. That girl I was telling you about earlier called while I was at the bar. Drunkie McGee decided to answer my phone and said God knows what to her. She probably thinks we’re fucking or something.”
“Who cares what she’s thinking?” Brody says. “You said a clean break was for the best, right? If that’s true, then it’s a good thing if she thinks you’ve already moved on. Right?”
I take a sip of my beer and swallow the bitterness. I don’t know if it’s the ale or regret that’s causing the lump in my throat. “Right.”
RILEY
BRODY POINTS TO ME as I walk into the sports bar he asked me to meet him at. “There he is!”
I join him at the pool table and nod to the guy he’s playing against.
“Riley, this is Drew.” Brody nods to me. “And Drew, this is my buddy from grad school, Riley. He just moved to Seattle.”
I shake hands with Drew. “Nice to meet you, man.”
“You too.” Drew picks up his pool cue. “Eight ball side pocket.” He sinks the ball. “Ha! Take that bitch!”
“Damn it!” Brody says.
I laugh at Brody’s pouty expression. “Tough luck, asshole.”
Brody responds with a two-finger salute.
“Not tonight baby. I have a headache,” I retort.
Drew laughs, takes Brody’s pool stick, and hands it to me. “You want a beer? Brody is buying the next round because his sorry ass can’t sink any balls.”
I smirk at Brody. “You’d think he’d be a ball expert since he plays with his own all day long.”
“Fuck you, dick,” Brody laughs.
“Ha!” Drew says. “I like you, Riley! You want to play? I could use an actual opponent.”
“What the fuck? Is this pick on Brody day?” Brody asks.
Drew looks around the bar. “I don’t see any other whiny bitches around here.”
“Fuck both of you dickheads,” Brody mutters as he walks over to the bar.
I laugh. “So how long have you known Brody?”
Drew racks the balls on the felt. “We were in the same frat. I was his big brother.” He nods to the table. “You mind if I break?”
I shake my head. “Go for it.”
Brody returns with a pitcher of beer and three glasses. He pours one for himself and takes a seat at a nearby table. “Drew, when’s your fine ass sister getting here?”
Drew makes his shot and scowls. “Shut the fuck up, dude.”
Brody laughs. “Why? I’m only speaking the truth.” He looks at me. “Rye, wait until you meet Drew’s little sister. She and her friend always joins us for Monday Night Football. Fuck, I’d give my left nut to be the meat in that sandwich.”
“Keep it up, asshole,” Drew mutters.
I laugh. “Hot sister, huh?”
Drew points his cue at me. “Don’t even think about it. My sister is off limits.”
I raise my hands in defense. “It’s all good, dude. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Drew narrows his eyes. “Why not? Are you batting for Team Sausage?”
My eyes widen. “What? No!”
Brody laughs. “Nah, man. Riley’s just hung up on the Magic Pussy. Has been for years. This asshole finally nutted up and decided to try winning her back by moving to Seattle.”
Drew pats me on the back. “Ah, the elusive Magic Pussy. Been there, dude. It sucks. So this chick lives in Seattle?”
I take a sip of beer. “No, Portland. Seattle is the closest place I could find a job in my field.”
Drew nods to Brody. “So you’re into airplanes and shit too?”
I laugh. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“That’s cool,” Drew says. “So what’s the story with this lady friend of yours?”
“Aw, man, this is good,” Brody interrupts. “So, apparently, they were good friends in college, but Riley here decided to try the whole friends with benefits thing their last year in school. Things got weird and they lost contact. I watched him date one hot blonde after another in Boston trying to get over her, but the Magic Pussy always prevailed. Apparently, she smells like baked goods or some shit like that. Riley can’t walk into a donut shop without getting a hard-on.”
“Shut up, asshat. That’s not true,” I argue.
Brody laughs. “Right. Why is it that you’re not allowed in that Krispy Kreme again?”
I glare at him while Drew hunches over in laughter. “Fuck you, dude.”
“Speaking of hot blondes,” Brody says. “Seriously, Drew, what time is your sister supposed to show?”
Drew glares at him. “Why do you care?”
Brody shrugs. “Just curious.”
I stare at Brody for a few seconds trying to figure him out. “Are you interested in her or something?”
“He’d better not be,” Drew says. “He knows the rules. She’s off limits.”
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“She’s had a hard time,” Drew says. “She’s a single mom. Got knocked up the summer after college and the father took off when she told him she was pregnant. She didn’t have anyone else so she moved in with me. She’s doesn’t need any assholes in her life complicating things.”
“How long ago was this?” I ask.
“Almost five years now,” Drew answers. “She had to give up a kick ass job to move up here when she was pregnant so she didn’t have anything at the time. She could’ve afforded to move out a few years back when she landed another job but I asked her to stay. My nephew needs a man in his life and I’ve been there since day one. I’m going to really miss the little man when she finally decides to get a place of her own. He’s the coolest four-year-old I know.”
“Doesn’t this dick pay child support?” I ask.
Drew says, “Nope. Real winner, right? The asshole has never even met his kid. Truth is…I think he broke her heart pretty badly so she never tried to pursue any legal action. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. I’ve tried talking her into it but she refuses to discuss it. She won’t even tell me his name which is probably a good thing since I’d probably end up in jail for murder.”
Wow, asshole is right. Brody suddenly whistles loudly because a hot little redhead just walked in.
I raise an eyebrow. “The sister? I thought you said she was blonde.”
Brody’s eyes haven’t left the redhead. “No, sister’s friend. That’s Rainey. She’s fine as fuck but her pussy’s locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Believe me…I’ve tried. Repeatedly.”
Drew laughs. “That’s because you don’t have the right skills.”
The woman joins us at the pool table. “Hey guys.” She gives me a good once over, the appreciation obvious. “Who’s this?”
I extend my hand. “I’m Riley.”
She takes my hand. “Hi, handsome. I’m Rainey. How do you know the boys here?”
I nod to Brody. “Brody and I went to grad school together. I’m new to the area and he invited me here to meet some friends.”
She smiles. “Really? Well, I’d be happy to show you around sometime.”
“Rainey,” Brody growls. “Where’s—”
“There she is!” Drew interrupts. He waves his hands, signaling someone. “Over here!”
I look up in same direction and choke on my beer when I see the woman he’s referring to.
<
br /> Drew smacks me on the back. “You okay there, bud?”
I slam my closed fist into my chest. “Hey, Drew? What’s your last name?”
“Summers. Why?”
Well, what are the odds? I know the moment she recognizes me because she stops dead in her tracks and forms an O with her pouty lips. The same lips that I’ve pictured wrapped around my dick every day since I last saw her. I set my beer on the table and step forward with a big grin.
“Hi, Dev. Long time no see.”
DEVYN
“HI, DEV. LONG TIME no see,” Riley says while flashing his perfect dimples, making me a little weak in the knees.
Those dimples are my Kryptonite on the man and the boy. The boy he has no idea exists. Correction, the son he has no idea exists. Out of every possible situation in which I’d imagined running into him again, this definitely wasn’t it. What on Earth is he doing in Seattle? Better yet, why is he hanging out with my brother? Okay, Devyn, woman up and play it cool; you can’t just stand here gaping at the man no matter how devastatingly beautiful he still is.
“Riley,” I reply as nonchalantly as possible. “Nice to see you again.”
Drew looks between the two of us, confusion etched in his features. “You two know each other?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “Riley and I knew each other in college.” I turn my face away from the man in question so he can’t see the blush staining my cheeks.
Drew makes a face. “Ugh! Please do not tell me ‘knew each other’ is code for ‘We got it on like Donkey Kong.’?” He looks sternly at Rye. “Dude, no offense, but I’m going to have to kick your ass if you’ve seen my baby sister naked.”
“Um...” Riley stammers. “We…uh…” He looks to me for help. I could always read his thoughts in college; it was like we shared the same brain sometimes. Apparently, that hasn’t changed because he’s asking me with his eyes how I want this to play out. Now isn’t that a loaded question?
“No, you idiot,” I interrupt. “Riley and I were just friends. Acquaintances, really. No nudity involved. I haven’t even spoken to him since senior year. By the way, who uses phrases like ‘Get it on like Donkey Kong’? I swear Nathan is more mature than you sometimes.”
“Phew!” Drew swings a heavy arm around my shoulders, completely ignoring my dig about his maturity level. He then does the same with Riley, hugging us into him, forcing our bodies a little too close for comfort. “Thank fuck! I didn’t want there to be any awkwardness. C’mon, lets grab our seats and watch the Seahawks kick ass!”
Right, no awkwardness at all.
RILEY
FRIENDS? NO WAIT, ACQUAINTENCES? Damn, so much for hoping she’d let this whole thing blow over. I was counting on the old adage, time heals all wounds. Okay, I can understand her not wanting to reveal the fact that she lost her virginity to me, but I think I’m a little insulted that she’s not even laying claim to how close we were back then. Fuck thinking I’m insulted; I am insulted. She was my best friend and I know she felt the same way about me. She was the only woman in my life besides my mom that I ever cared about. Hell, I moved across the country just for the chance of seeing her again. And now she’s practically fallen into my lap my first week in town. This has to be more than a crazy coincidence.
Wait a second…is she the sister Drew was talking about? I never met him before today, but I know Devyn only has one sibling. Does she really have a kid? He said it’s been five years since that asshole had dumped her after she told him she was pregnant. Doing the math in my head, it had to have been shortly after we had slept together. If this dickbag broke her heart, that means that she jumped into a relationship with him right after hooking up with me. I guess her ‘I love you’ was all for show. She really was just interested in popping her cherry then moving on, wasn’t she?
Trying to conceal how angry I am, I ask, “So, Devyn…what have you been up to? How long has it been, anyway?”
“I’ve been great,” she replies with a saccharine tone that doesn’t match the ball-shriveling glare she is shooting my way. “I don’t know…how long has it been? Our senior year was about five years ago, I suppose. Isn’t it amazing how fast time flies when you’re having fun? If I remember correctly, you like to go out and have a lot of fun, don’t you?”
Ouch. Yeah, so I’ve slept with a lot of women but I’m nowhere near as bad as I was in college. Sex with random women lost its appeal years ago. It took me six months after being with Devyn before I could even get hard for someone else. And believe me, when you’re a twenty-two-year-old guy who could get his dick waxed anywhere, anytime, that’s like a fucking lifetime of celibacy. No matter how hot the girl is, it’s just not as good as I remember it being before her. That’s how my sex life is categorized now: B.D. and A.D. Before Devyn and After Devyn. I hate admitting that Brody’s right, but magic pussy indeed. I remember being so cocky thinking that I’d ruin her for every other man when in reality… she’s the one who has ruined me. I’m such a dumbass.
I’m also a dick, apparently, because I can’t help but go for the jugular with my next line of questioning. “So, Drew tells me you have a kid. I guess congratulations are in order. Who’s the dad?”
“DUDE!” Drew shouts.
Devyn’s face turns beet red as her mouth falls open. She levels Drew with a look that I can’t make sense of and says, “You told him? What the hell, Drew?”
Drew gives me an accusing glare. “Me? If anyone deserves a ‘what the hell’ it’s this asshole! Dude, what the hell?”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I was just curious, I suppose.” I stare Devyn directly in the eyes before adding, “You and I were…hanging out right before graduation and there was no boyfriend then. I was just wondering when exactly you met this kid’s father. Drew said he’s four now which would mean you had to start dating him right after we hung out. Am I doing the math wrong here?”
“Nope, your genius brain is working just fine.” She stands up from the table at which we’ve just sat. She looks at Drew before adding, “Look, Drew, I’m sorry but I just remembered that Rose has to bail early tonight. I have to get back to Nate and can’t stay for the game. I’ll see you at home.” She stumbles a bit as she starts walking away so I jump up to steady her by the elbow. Is that a tear in her eye? She jerks her arm away. “Bye, Riley.”
Her friend gets up to chase after her but not before jabbing me in the chest with her finger. “You should consider wearing a cup next time I see you. That was not cool.”
I plop back into the booth. “Not cool at all, dude,” Drew says.
“I know, man,” I agree. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to her, okay?”
Drew looks skeptical. “You can try, but it’s a pretty touchy subject. Just tread lightly, okay? I like you; I don’t want to have to kick your ass.”
I smile briefly at his warning. “Got it.”
DEVYN
“DEVYN, WAIT UP!” RAINEY shouts as she chases after me. I wipe away the lone tear that escaped before she can reach me.
I stop on the sidewalk and wait for her to catch up. “Lorraine, you didn’t have to come after me. I’m fine. You should go back and enjoy the game.”
She puts her hand on her hip and gawks at me. “You’re fine? The fuck you are! What the hell happened back there?”
I sniffle a little. Stupid, girly hormones. “Nothing happened. I just got a little emotional when Riley brought up he who must not be named.”
“Bullshit! You’re on the verge of crying, for fuck’s sake!” She throws her hands up in exasperation. “And for the record, ‘he who must not be named’ is only called that because you refuse to name him!”
I sniffle again, making her face soften. “Oh, honey, please don’t cry. I don’t know what the fuck to do with tears. I grew up with five brothers; there was no crying allowed on Testosterone Island.”
I suck back the emotions and paste a smile on my face. “I’m sorry. I feel
better now. I must be getting my period or something.”
“Periods suck!” she exclaims. “Women totally got screwed in the gender pool. We have to deal with bleeding once a month, we can’t pee standing up, and we’re expected to blow our vaginas to Smithereens bringing life into the world!” She winces, probably just now remembering who she’s talking to. “Oh, I didn’t really mean that last one. I’m sure your vagina is beautiful…and tight…not blown out in the least. Guys probably love getting all up in your coochie!”
I roll my eyes. “Okay, can we please stop talking about my vagina now?”
“Sure, no more talk about perfectly tight vaginas. Now that reality TV woman that’s had like twenty kids is a different story. Her vagina has to be obliterated by this point. Seriously, having sex with her must feel like shooting an arrow down a hallway.”
I make a gagging gesture from the visual she’s just planted in my brain. “Let me clarify, Lorraine. Can we please stop talking about ALL vaginas now?”
She puts her arm around my shoulders. “C’mon. Let’s go get you some chocolate and get you back to that handsome little boy waiting at home.”
I smile as we start walking. “That sounds perfect.”
RILEY
THANK FUCK IT’S FINALLY Friday. This week has been insane. I’ve been trying to get settled in my new job during the day while unpacking my shit at night. It’s been four days since I’ve seen Devyn and I’m climbing the walls. The kid thing really threw me off but now that I’ve had a few days to sit on it, I’ve decided it doesn’t have to change my plans. I came here with the number one goal of getting her back into my life. Yeah, she has a kid, but it’s not like I haven’t dated anyone these past five years. It could’ve just as easily happened to me. If she’s willing to let me back into her life, I can figure out how to add her offspring into the equation.
It’s nine o’clock and I’m starving. My new condo is in the South Lake Union district so thankfully, I have tons of options within walking distance. I have a mad craving for some pasta so I decide to check out the Italian place on the corner.
