by Willow Rose
I was eight years old when I decided I wanted to kill my mother. I guess that's why I kill women, especially mothers. I am killing her over and over again. It really doesn’t take a genius to figure out. See, my mother was as mean as they get. She deserved what she got. She deserved every bit of it. And she knew perfectly well it was me when I finally did kill her. She recognized her boy's hands and the eyes behind the mask. And she knew she had it coming. She knew her past had finally come back to haunt her.
Killing her was the best fix of my life. None of what I have done since has ever been able to give me as great a kick as that one did. Some of them have come close, I agree, but not close enough. I guess that's why I feel like I have to continue. The demand is growing inside of me to a point where I have to give into it again. I know I will have to.
The closest I ever came to feeling as big of a thrill as killing my mother was around ten years after I had started out. I had been taking a break for two years, letting things settle down a little, letting the police think I had moved on or maybe stopped, forcing them to focus on something else.
I was on my way home from work when I saw her. Actually, to be completely honest, I was stalking someone else that I had my heart set on. I had been following her for a few weeks, wondering if she was going to be my next one when I saw this brown-haired beauty walking up her driveway. I was still in my uniform, and I watched her as she walked inside her house. I drove slowly past her house and nodded at a neighbor who was grateful for my uniform. While wearing it, I could do as I pleased. No one ever thought it was strange that a guy like me drove around their neighborhood taking a closer look at the houses.
I watched her in my mirror as she went inside with her young boy and I knew it had to be her. She was too perfect to let go.
I was so infatuated with her that I got careless. This one looked so much like my mother; I didn't even stalk her for long before I had to give in to my desire. I didn't know her routine; I didn't even know if she had a boyfriend. I was just so obsessed with her; I knew I had to act soon. I didn't even go inside her house like I usually did when I knew my projects were at work or maybe sometimes just asleep. I did, however, send her flowers on the Friday before I struck.
Monday morning, I walked up to her house and simply walked right in through the front door. It always amazes me how people can keep their front doors locked all night, but not in the mornings after they go to pick up the paper. I was so blinded by my fascination with this woman, I didn't even care if the neighbors saw me. It didn't matter at that point. I had been doing this for ten years now, and no one was even close to finding me. As I said, I became careless. I stopped paying attention to details, and that's when it becomes dangerous.
The woman knew exactly who I was when I entered her house and locked the door behind me. I could tell by the look on her face that she did. I guess the mask gave me away. She told her son to stay in his room, probably hoping—like so many before her—that I would spare the son if I had my way with her. But the kid couldn't live. We both knew that deep down inside.
The woman was nervous, so I let her smoke a cigarette before I killed her and then moved on to the boy. I don't want to get into silly gory details, but it was my best kill—next after my mother’s. Why it was so good, I can't explain. Maybe because it was so clean, so easy. Maybe because she was the one of my victims that resembled my mother the most. Maybe I was just really needy; I don't know. But I fantasized about that kill for many years afterward, especially since I had to cool down afterward. As it turned out, a neighbor had seen me walk inside the house that morning, and soon a sketch was made of the possible Monday Morning Killer. It wasn't a very good sketch and looked nothing like me, but I realized that I had screwed up. I hadn't been careful enough, and it was time to cool down for a period. So, I did. I blended in. I became normal.
But it's tough. Imagine restraining from alcohol and sex and sugar all at once for years. Most people can't even cut out coffee from their daily diet. This demanded all my restraint. You know how us killers are. As soon as the last victim has fulfilled his or her purpose, then, sooner or later, we have to find a new victim to satisfy our need. As time passes, the pressure grows until we have to find some means of release. It's not a matter of free will. I am forced to take action, forced to kill again.
Soon.
Chapter 54
August 2018
I parked on the street outside the house and got out. I hadn't called ahead since I was afraid of Jim's reaction. He hadn't been very fond of the police earlier in the process, and I believed it would be easier to persuade him to talk to me if we were face to face. I didn't know if he was home but thought I'd take the chance and simply stop by. It was still early morning, and I had my mom taking care of the kids, making sure they got to school and taking care of Tyler for the day since he couldn't go to the daycare center. He had kept me awake all night with his crying, and I was exhausted, but I knew I had to push through if I was ever to solve this case, and I was determined to do so. I couldn't stand more kids losing their mothers, more families being destroyed by this monster.
The house was one of those new cookie-cutter ones in a nice, well-trimmed neighborhood where you couldn't tell any one from the other next door. They were all painted in that same light grey color, and only the amount of palm trees and bushes in front of them served as a way to separate them.
Jim lived at the end of a cul-de-sac, and I walked up thinking it was a great place to raise children. It seemed very safe.
I rang the doorbell, and a woman opened the door. She had pretty blue eyes that looked at me from a pale face. Her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail.
"Yes?"
"I'm detective Ryder. I’m looking for Jim Reynolds?"
"He's out right now, I’m afraid."
"Do you know when he’ll be back?"
"He worked the night shift, so he should be home in about half an hour," she said and looked at her watch.
"That's right. He works for KDL-security, right?"
She nodded.
Like Dennis Woods, the guy who lives across the street from Diane. Could that mean something? Do they know each other?
"Say, do you mind if I wait? It's half an hour drive back. Maybe you have a cup of coffee? I feel exhausted, my kid kept me awake all night, running a fever."
"Sure. I have a yoga class at nine, but Jim should be home way before then," she said and opened the door.
I walked inside. The house opened up to high vaulted ceilings. "I’m afraid I didn't even introduce myself," the woman said and turned to shake my hand. "My name is Laurie. I’m Jim's girlfriend, but I guess you kind of figured that out by now, or you'd be a lousy detective." She continued into the kitchen, and I followed her.
"I guess I would," I said with a chuckle.
The kitchen was brand-new with granite countertops all over and stainless-steel appliances. It was a little dark because of the closed blinds, which they probably kept closed to keep out the sun and the heat. Laurie turned on the lights and walked to a coffee maker.
"How do you like it? I can make a latte if you like."
"However you prefer to make it. I’m not difficult."
"Latte it is, then," she said and poured milk into a container of the machine. It was one of those fancy ones like they had at the cafés downtown. Shannon had bought one for our house too, but I had never really used it. Now that I heard hers spurt and spray out foam, I wondered if maybe I should start. It smelled heavenly.
Laurie placed a cup in front of me that looked like something I could get at Starbucks.
"Thanks,” I said and tasted it. It was just as heavenly as it smelled. "I needed that."
I glanced at a picture over the fireplace showing Jim in his security guard uniform.
"Say…does he hang out with others from his company?" I asked.
She shrugged. "There are a few of them that he likes to see. We do couples dinners sometimes, but most of them have kids, and
we don't, so it’s sometimes a little much. I don't really have much in common with them. But I like them."
"Does he know a guy named Dennis Woods?"
"Sure," she said, happily. "Dennis and Camille? We see them at least once a month."
"So, you've been to his house out on Suwannee Lane?" I asked, not exactly knowing where I was going with this.
"Oh, boy, yes. A million times. Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean," she said.
"Have you been out there recently?"
She nodded. "Yeah, they have this event once a year, this block party that he invited us to. We went there for that. It was fun."
I sipped my cup, wondering if it was just a coincidence. I had a feeling the Monday Morning Killer had been triggered by the fact that Diane had moved back into her house. Having studied for years how serial killers worked, I knew it could be the reason why it had all started over again. If I was right, then I also believed Diane was in grave danger merely by being in the house. I knew a killer like him was continually looking to relive his first fix, his first high, and even though he might have been able to keep himself bottled up for many years now, seeing Diane in that house would make him lose his cool. It was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. It woke him up. I was happy I had gotten her out. She was staying with my parents in one of their empty rooms at the motel, for free of course. 'Cause that's just how my parents were. Always generous, always ready to lend a helping hand to anyone in need.
I looked around the kitchen while drinking the coffee. On the fridge, I saw school pictures of Parker and his sister, Olivia. But they were old. The kids were both very young in the pictures; Parker looked to be around eight, maybe nine.
Laurie saw me staring at the pictures.
"It's so sad," she said. "What happened to them. Broke Jim's heart."
I nodded. "Do you get along with the kids? I know from personal experience how hard it can be when someone brings children into a relationship."
She sighed and sipped her own cup. "I hardly know them; I have to admit. I met Jim a year ago and, as much as he spoke about the children, I thought they were very close, but he hardly ever gets to see them. Amber won't let him…or wouldn't. I guess she figured since he was the one who left, then he made his choice. I think she was so angry with him for leaving that she decided to punish him by keeping the children from him, but it's not fair, you know? Jim loves those two, and now…well, he only has Parker left. Jim's been out there every day to be with him. We’re getting the room upstairs ready for him so he can come and live here with us as soon as he is discharged."
I nodded and put the cup down on the counter. "And you're okay with Parker coming here to live?"
"Oh, absolutely. To be honest, I think it might make things easier for us. Jim misses them so much that it has often put a strain on our relationship. He can sometimes stay awake all night worrying about them, especially about the boy. He needs a man around, you know? Boys need a role model. And he had no one. Amber just kept him away from Jim."
"But surely Jim must have rights," I said and leaned forward.
Laurie gave me a look, and in that instant, I realized I had made a mistake.
Chapter 55
August 2018
"If he still has a fever tomorrow, then you should probably take him to the pediatrician."
My mom greeted me on the porch at the motel. Tyler was sleeping in her bedroom she told me when I came back from work later that same evening. I nodded in agreement, but at the same time thinking there was no way I had time to spend half a day in the doctor's office.
My mom gave me a look. She was setting the table for the entire family, even putting down a plate for Emily. She always did that, just in case the girl decided to come. My mom never gave up hope, that was one thing I could say about her.
"What?" I asked when seeing that look in her eyes.
"Don't you think it's time to throw in the towel?" she asked. "Stop trying to be a superhero?"
"What do you mean?"
"You can't do this alone, Jack. Those kids, especially Tyler. They need their mother around. You need your wife. There are six of them. You need an extra hand. Especially now that Tyler is sick. Not to mention Emily who needs you more than ever. It's okay not to be able to do all of that on your own."
"What do you want me to do about it?" I asked, annoyed that my mom wouldn't leave this alone. "Shannon is away on tour."
"You call her and tell her to come home. Tell her she's needed and that her career will have to wait a couple of years, at least till the kids are older and can take care of themselves. The fans and the fame will still be out there. It's not going anywhere. Besides, she can't have both. If she wants a family life, she has to choose the family. And that means sacrificing something else. Or at least putting it on hold."
I stared at my mother, whose look had changed to an expression of anger. She was obviously angry with Shannon and, as she said the words, I realized I was too. I had been ever since she told me she was going away. I just had no idea how to say it to her because it felt selfish. But I was. I was furious that she had chosen her career over us, over her own family. I knew we could just have hired a nanny, but I felt like a failure to have strangers take care of my children. They were with other adults all day in school or daycare; I couldn't bear them having to be with one when they came home too.
But even though I felt this resentment toward Shannon for leaving, I also wanted to be a supportive husband at the same time. I wanted her to nurture her career and do what made her happy. But my mom was right. I couldn't do this alone. It wasn't fair to my mother either because it all ended up being her problem too. But I couldn't tell her that. I couldn't agree with her instead of my wife. I had to be loyal, so instead of telling her the truth, I just gave her an annoyed look.
"Well, maybe we do things a little differently, okay? We try the best we can, but times are different than when you had children, Mom. This is a new generation."
"The selfish generation," my mom said with a loud snort. "All about me-me-me. Never what is best for the children."
I sighed. "Things are different now; can we just leave it at that?"
My mom answered with another snort, then turned on her heel and walked back inside. Diane came out just as she did, then approached me.
"What was that all about?"
"Don't ask," I said, a little angrier than I had intended. Annoyed, I grabbed a chair and sat down. Diane exhaled. She walked back inside, then came out holding two beers between her hands. She handed me one, grabbed a chair, and sat down next to me.
"Cheers," she said, and we clanked bottles while staring at the ocean. There was a little swell coming in from the north, but I didn't even have the energy to think about surfing.
I was too tired and too pissed.
Chapter 56
August 2018
Shannon was skipping as she walked through the airport, flanked by her security guards. She was so excited, probably the most excited she had been in a very long time.
She got into the limo waiting for her outside the building, holding the crate close to her body as she sat down.
She told the driver where she was going, and the limo took off. Shannon looked at her watch. It was evening but not yet dark out. This would be perfect timing.
Shannon grabbed her purse, then took out the pill bottle and popped another one to make sure her hand wouldn't mess up the night. She was planning on having a great time tonight.
She had the driver stop in the parking lot by the motel, then got out. He took her suitcases to the lobby and, as Shannon walked inside, she spotted them all sitting on the porch, eating.
Perfect timing.
This is going to be the best surprise ever.
Shannon could hardly contain her excitement as she grabbed the crate and walked outside.
"He-ello-o-o-o," she sang like she was still on stage.
The chatting subsided. All eyes were on her and jaws were dropped
until the realization sank in. It happened with the children first.
"Mom?" Angela said.
"Mommy!" Tyler exclaimed, excited. He was kicking his small legs in the high chair, trying to get down. When he couldn't, he began to squeal, and his grandmother helped him get down so he could run to Shannon. A second later, she had put the crate down and grabbed the boy in her arms. She almost lost her balance on her high heels but regained it.
"Sh-Shannon?"
Jack stared at her, baffled. She chuckled. Of course, he was surprised.
"I had a day off, so I thought I'd come home and say hello," she squealed. "Flew in about an hour ago."
Jack looked at her like he didn't believe it. Angela threw herself into her mom’s arms. "I missed you, Mommy. I’m so glad you're home."
It felt so good to hold her daughter in her arms again, and Shannon smelled her hair. Tyler had spotted the crate, and now he was wiggling to get loose from her grasp, then run to it and look inside.
"PUPPY!" the sound was so loud it cut through the air. "Puppy! Puppy! Puppy!"
That made all the children get up and rush to look for themselves. Austin and Abigail and Betsy Sue had no time to say hello to Shannon; the puppy completely over shone that.
"Can we take it out?" Abigail asked. "Pl-e-ease?"
"Yes, of course. It's ours now."
"We got a puppy?" Austin almost screamed.
Shannon nodded.
"Yes, silly. Why else would I bring it here, ha-ha."
Jack stood to his feet. "A puppy? What's going on here, Shannon?"
"What's going on? What's going on? I am here to see my family and I brought them a puppy. Isn't that a wonderful surprise?"
"We can't…we can't take care of a puppy…Why would you bring us a puppy?"
Shannon clapped her hands together like she hadn't heard him. "Oh, dinner. I’m starving. Did you save some for me?" She looked at the many faces staring back at her. Among them was a set of eyes that she didn't know.
