When my own students and the student participants in this research discuss their worries about their inability to be alone, about how they no longer know how to endure silences in the presence of others, of how they fear listening to their thoughts, of how their smartphones don’t allow them to ever slow down, I often think about the overwhelming interest they also show in spirituality and spiritual practices—as demonstrated in my work for Sex and the Soul as well as the research of other scholars, most notably Christian Smith. What’s wonderful about such practices is that they are frameworks for doing exactly the things that seem to be slipping away from us: slowing down, being still, listening to our thoughts (or letting them go altogether). Spiritual practices and religious rituals tend to involve stepping away from the chaos and distraction of everyday life in order to center ourselves in another way, in another place, on the inner workings of our hearts, our souls, our minds. Here is where I also think about the young woman who spoke of going to church on Sundays merely because it was one hour away from her smartphone and how she needed this respite—and needed a reason to take it.
Whatever tools we can find to help us carve out this kind of time in the home, in our schools, in the classroom, and in the residence halls is useful and important. But this is also where Campus Ministry programming can do a lot of good and be particularly useful.
Spiritual practices, retreats, and religious services not only are opportunities to unplug for short or extended periods of time, or even regular periods of much-needed space for quiet, stillness, and thinking, but they also offer frameworks for conversation, reflection, and contemplation of the ways that social media and smartphones are affecting and changing our lives. Just as the classroom can—and must—become a sphere for critical reflection on these subjects, the programming, rituals, and practices associated with religious traditions and Campus Ministry can become opportunities for us to take a step back and wrestle with how we are handling (or not handling) these new influences on our lives, our actions, our relationships, and our communities.
This can happen on any campus, of course, since most universities (including nonreligiously affiliated ones) have resources and centers from a range of religious traditions available to their students. But this can also happen at high schools (at least private and religiously affiliated ones) and at home within families that either practice a religious tradition or take up some form of alternative or individual spiritual practice.
TAKE THE UNPLUGGED CHALLENGE!
For those on campus who are in charge of outside-the-classroom programming such as the First-Year Experience programming that happens in August when students arrive at college, and the subsequent year-round programming sponsored by the residence halls and Student Activities, consider the ways in which this programming can be used to encourage students to unplug regularly.
Everyone knows that the promise of free food draws students to events—why not tie that free food to the requirement that students leave their smartphones in their rooms for an hour of device-free socializing over dinner? (Actually advertise this way: Pizza, Unplugged! In the 3rd floor lounge at 8!) Or hold a residence hall–wide contest during exams where students track their smartphone-free/unplugged hours, and whoever clocks the most concentrated study hours (or the top three people) wins a gift card (or something like this).
Much of the outside-the-classroom programming that happens on campus happens where students live, and providing regular, fun opportunities that empower students to set aside their devices and socialize and study without them both help the students relax and concentrate (if they are studying), and help them get used to leaving aside their devices for events on occasion.
LET’S TALK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO SOCIAL MEDIA (ON CAMPUS AND AT HOME)
Likewise, just as young adults need opportunities (and the impetus) to unplug regularly and be in Wi-Fi–free spaces on occasion, one of the amazing things about being at a university (and at many high schools for that matter) involves the incredible range of resources available to students devoted to their health and well-being—and we need to actively put those resources to use toward the end of helping young adults talk through how they feel about social media, how it affects their relationships with others, their sense of self, and self-esteem, as well as the phenomenon of comparing ourselves to others that social media can exacerbate (at times) to an extreme degree among its users.
The Counseling Center on campus (as one example) could openly offer sessions for students struggling with some of the above issues (and actually advertise on campus that the Counseling Center is available for this). On a less formal (but no less important) level, R.A.s could make themselves available for students to come talk about how social media is making them feel, and professional staff members could add a social media component to student staff training, as well as provide the R.A.s with referrals for residents on campus who really need to talk about this subject beyond what an R.A. can provide. Openly advertising to students where they can find resources to think through their relationship to social media (and especially some of the trauma students are experiencing now because of what happens on sites like Yik Yak) needs to become an intentional and structured part of what we do within Student Affairs.
Just as I advocated in Sex and the Soul that parents of high school students do a pre-college sex and relationships talk, an open dialogue at home about the psychological and self-esteem side of social media is just as important (and I would dare to say, far more so) as the warnings parents give about what not to post on social media. We need to get used to talking about how social media is changing our lives in general with each other and with our children, and not only when it involves image-curating (as when someone is applying to college) or extreme circumstances such as cyberbullying.
POWER AS OPPOSED TO POWERLESSNESS
The more conscious and critical and open we can become in relation to social media and smartphones, the more practiced (and the less compelled) we become in relation to our usage of these platforms and our devices, the healthier our relationship will be to all of it.
As I was conducting this research, I began to think of the Mark Zuckerbergs of our world as the new gatekeepers in our lives. Their creations permeate everything we do, how we think about everything in our lives, what we do in our free time and work time, how we sleep (or are unable to sleep). And each little “update” they enacted over the course of the time I was doing this research wreaked havoc on all the students I was interviewing. It stressed them out, affecting and even destroying some of their relationships in the process.
Take the update that now tells Facebook users whether and exactly when someone has read a message. Or the one on Snapchat that suddenly ranked your friends in order of importance based on how often you “snapped” them. These “slight” changes had huge emotional and personal consequences for the students. They affected when (or whether) they opened messages or communicated with their friends and significant others. They felt toyed with and betrayed by the people behind Facebook and Snapchat.
Right now, we are still operating in a place where social media and our devices are dominating us and our behaviors, far more so they we are simply using them as tools to our own delight and benefit. The students I spoke with like social media and smartphones when they are useful tools. They stop liking them when they become forces wreaking havoc on their psyches, their ability to conduct their lives and get things done, and their relationships. Social media and smartphones are not going away. We need to work to get to a place where we know ourselves, our weaknesses and strengths, well enough that these platforms and devices lose the power to upend everything, and so that they remain the useful tools students would like them to be.
As Aristotle might tell us: with practice, we’ll get there.
But practice is essential.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, I want to thank Christian Smith for being a wonderful colleague and friend. When I was first thinking of
doing this project, I asked Chris if he would help me talk through whether it was a good idea, and if so, how I might set it up and get good, solid data. An initial phone call lead to a full day of brainstorming in Chicago, and an excitement and enthusiasm about this project from Chris that tipped me from I think maybe I should do this? to I’m definitely going to do this! I am truly grateful for the ongoing conversations about all of our work, especially this study, and for his faith in me as a thinker and scholar.
I am also incredibly grateful to everyone at the Center for the Study of Religion and Society at the University of Notre Dame, most especially Rae Hoffman, Sara Skiles, all the transcribers, and Nicolette Manglos-Weber, for her help going through the IRB process. The CSRS, the University of Notre Dame, and the Lilly Endowment, Inc., together provided the funding to make this project happen, and I am grateful for their investment.
To the thirteen colleges and universities that participated in this study (who shall remain anonymous): I can’t name you here, but I thank everyone on campus who worked to make this project happen, responded to all my very specific requests and needs, helped generate randomly sampled lists of potential interviewees, found interview rooms, provided on-campus support during my visit, and helped administer the online survey. Thank you for your openness and willingness to host this study at your school. It was no small endeavor.
I want to thank Oxford University Press and everyone who worked to make the book for this study happen, and for their investment in this project and in me as an author. I especially want to thank Sarah Russo, Marcela Maxfield, Ryan Cury, and Maya Bringe (who listened to all my last-minute worries and dealt with all of my last-minute corrections). And of course, I want to give my sincerest thanks to Theo Calderara, my editor, who is truly amazing and pushes me to be the best writer and thinker I can be. I am forever grateful for your incredible dedication, your astute feedback, and your amazing friendship. Also, thank you for making that deadline with me!
My friends have also been patient and thoughtful conversation partners for this study and the book. It was fun to be able to talk about this project with all of you and I appreciate your willingness to share your own stories and struggles and joys with social media, as well as share your opinions and thoughts about the findings. I won’t name all of you, but you know who you are.
I am forever and always grateful to my longtime agent and friend Miriam Altshuler, whose enthusiasm and excitement for my work makes me feel lucky. Your ongoing support and dedication to my career as both a scholar and a writer means the world to me.
To my husband, Daniel, who endured all of my travel for this project, as well as participated in uncountable conversations about social media, my findings, my questions, providing feedback, opinions, and questions of his own: you were there from the very beginning of this study and I am grateful for all the thought you gave to my work. As well as the many evenings of wine after long, long days of writing!
Most of all: to all the students who participated in this study as interviewees and in the online survey. I am grateful to have met so many of you in person, and to be the recipient of your fascinating stories, opinions, and willingness to think hard about all of my questions. You are the heart of this project. Your openness to share your experiences will be the inspiration for so much conversation and thoughtful reflection among your college peers and far beyond. Thank you.
APPENDIX
METHODOLOGY
BACKGROUND, MOTIVATIONS, AND GROUNDWORK FOR THIS STUDY
The research on which this book is based, (originally titled: “A Study of How Social Media and New Technologies Are Affecting Identity Formation, Meaning-Making, and Happiness among College Students”), was inspired by discussions over the last several years with college students all over the United States regarding their questions and concerns about social media and how social media is affecting their lives. These conversations arose on behalf of previous research related to my study that was eventually published as Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexualiy, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses. College students, therefore, would most often raise the subject of social media in the context of discussing romance, sex, and hookup culture on campus, and typically the conversation would be about how social media is affecting the way “people get together” and “hook up” on campus. More recently, I noticed how those conversations expanded beyond relationships to include general thoughts and worries about how social media is affecting, as expressed by students, “how I understand myself” and also “my broader place in this world.” Students began to mention concerns about feeling split in two—the real and the virtual—as well as their worries about how social media was going to affect their futures.
Initially, though I enthusiastically participated in the conversations with students about social media, I had no intention of doing any formal research on the subject. It wasn’t until the number and frequency of students who mentioned social media as a major change agent in their lives became so great and so common—and their concerns so complicated—that I realized I wanted to investigate social media and how it’s affecting college students and campus life in the context of formal research.
The motivation for taking up this project is nearly identical to my motivation for taking up the research that became Sex and the Soul. That study, too, arose out of conversations I’d had with undergraduates (but at a single institution as opposed to a range of them) who were concerned about hookup culture on campus. What interested me most, in that case, was how my students claimed they would continue to engage in behavior (hooking up) that they generally did not enjoy and that often made them feel unhappy, even depressed, yet nobody (no adults/professors/administration) was really talking to them about it or providing productive forums for them to reckon with what they felt was pervasive and destructive behavior on campus. If they’d so intensely identified drinking (as opposed to hooking up) as both the problem and the absent conversation on campus, I would have investigated that instead. My interest, there, was in trying to understand the following: Was this also a problem for students at other college campuses? If so, what was the scope of the issue? Finally, how could we open up forums for conversations on this subject, both inside and outside the classroom, where students could finally discuss their feelings about it not just with each other but also with professors and administration on campus?
I am not a big social media person myself, though the subject interests me generally. However, as a professor, a former Student Affairs professional, and a writer of books for young adults, I am very interested in any subject that deeply affects and transforms their lives. As with hookup culture, social media became such an obvious subject in need of investigation that eventually I could not turn away from it. What’s more, young adults (college students in this case) are struggling to understand how to navigate social media—specifically its pervasiveness—productively in their lives. They are curious to know how their peers feel about it, whether their peers are also struggling and in what ways, and they definitely hope for new forums (especially academic forums) where they can discuss what is going on with social media. My hope in conducting this research was to gather a sense from a diverse range of college students at a variety of campus cultures about what, simply, is going on with social media in their lives, in order to use this research to open up new avenues for conversation that could occur both inside and outside the classroom, and engage students, professors, and administration together discussing the issues. One other hope I have for this research is to reach parents who have children of all ages and to provide them with topics for discussion and reflection within their families.
Social media affects all of us at every age, so when I set out to do this study, I believed that it could provide useful resources for conversation beyond the college campus as well. Once I committed to researching this topic, I decided I would model the scope and collection of data after my earlier study on sexuality and spirituality, which included
gathering online surveys and conducting in-depth, one-on-one interviews.
At the outset, I enlisted the help of my colleague Dr. Christian Smith, the director of the Center for the Study of Religion and Society at the University of Notre Dame, and the primary investigator of numerous national studies, to talk through the whys, the hows, and the methodology for the data-gathering portion of this research. In turn, Dr. Smith offered his center and the resources of his associated graduate program in sociology at Notre Dame to serve as a hub for conducting the study. Prior to gathering any data, I attended several planning meetings with Dr. Smith and also several meetings with his graduate students to discuss interview questions and interview methodology.
During these discussions I identified gathering qualitative data as my main interest for this project, despite biases by many social scientists who tend to prize the quantitative over the qualitative. The qualitative data I gathered for Sex and the Soul proved the most useful to my research, and with enough qualitative answers about a particular subject in an online survey, quantitative data can also be generated. My background in gender studies helped me to prioritize qualitative data for my earlier research, as did the wealth of essays on feminist methodologies for qualitative research in Deborah L. Tolman and Mary Brydon-Miller’s book From Subjects to Subjectivities: A Handbook of Interpretive and Participatory Methods.1 Dr. Smith helped greatly in my current decision-making process to focus on gathering qualitative data, given his range of experience with overseeing national studies and working with various types of data, and to develop a simple way to randomly sample potential candidates at each participating institution.2
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