by Millie Gray
Freda knew that she had to respond to Ewan’s question about Robin, but she was struck dumb. She was remembering her schooldays with Ewan, Robin and the ‘fabulous four’. The six of them had been so happy . . . but that was then, and today was today. Gathering up all of her courage, Freda managed to offer Ewan her hand, before saying, ‘Congratulations, doctor.’ To release the tension, she blabbered on, ‘Angela was in the shop this morning, getting her hair done for your graduation tomorrow. She is over the moon that you are now qualified!’
‘Yes, she would like to be in the hall to see me capped, but you are only allowed two guest tickets and naturally my mum and dad were my first choice. Here . . . why was she getting her hair done today and not tomorrow?’
Hannah and Freda exchanged a knowing glance, before Freda said, ‘Angela will have no other but her very own Mister Teasy-Weasy, my Robin, doing her styling but as he is away in London this weekend, he won’t be available tomorrow.’
‘Are you saying that Robin goes to London regularly? Why?’
The young women exchanged another quick, anxious glance. They both thought that Ewan should be told exactly why Robin went to London. However, ever cautious, Freda decided that by doing that she might create more problems. Fortuitously, a nurse saved her from deliberately lying to Ewan when she called out, ‘Jackie Dalgleish? We are ready for you now.’
*
Once Hannah and Freda had settled the children in bed, they sat down to have a glass of wine. As the wine began to relax them, Hannah said, ‘Know something, Freda. See, when we met Ewan today, I thought that it was really no wonder that all the girls at school, including you and I, were hopelessly in love with him.’ When Freda shrugged in response, Hannah sensuously licked her lips and simpered, ‘Come on, Freda, admit it – as Ewan matures, he becomes even more desirable!’
‘Yeah, you’re right there, but we also know that he is Angela’s personal preserve!’
It was eleven o’clock when Hannah eventually left, leaving Freda alone with her memories. Pouring herself another small glass of Blue Nun, the must-have German wine for the modern woman, she thought back . . . back to three years ago, when she had first come to stay in this house, this lovely home, this safe haven.
She was only supposed to be Granny Rosie’s guest until the house on Brunton Place was habitable, but the renovations had taken much longer than expected and it was eighteen months before the tradesmen moved out of the house. However, before Freda, Robin and the children took up residence, Freda realised that they could not move out of Marionville Crescent after all, because Granny Rosie had grown too frail and dependent to live alone. Freda’s brother, Stuart, who also lived in the house at the time, had just qualified as a fireman. Through an introduction of Hannah’s, he had met a lassie named Edith and fallen hopelessly in love with her. Naturally they wished to marry and set up home together. The wedding had been arranged, but a week before the happy event, Granny Rosie was struck down by a massive stroke that claimed her life. Granny Rosie, being Granny Rosie, had left her affairs in order. Her home was gifted to her two grandchildren. Freda was overcome when she was told that she had been left half of her beloved Marionville Crescent home. It was the place where she wished to bring up her children. Stuart and Robin knew how she felt about the house and the wonderful memories that it held for her, so they decided that Freda should buy Stuart’s share of the Marionville house, and Stuart would then buy the Brunton Place property from Robin. Both houses, of course, still required mortgages, but very small and manageable ones – all thanks to Granny and Grandad Scott.
Sipping her wine, Freda’s thoughts turned to Ewan. She sighed. Since the children had been born, she had occasionally thought about him and wondered how he was getting on. But as time passed, she had realised that any future they might have had together was now impossible. Indeed, she was so busy with her babies and the building up of her hairdressing business that she had stopped fantasising about him. Meeting with him face-to-face again had upset her. Just standing beside him had made her heart race and that old black-magic spell that only he could cast over her had surfaced again. Common sense told her that it was useless to pursue these dreams – after all, hadn’t Angela, just this morning, confided to Robin that Ewan’s mother had hinted to her that by Saturday she would be displaying a diamond solitaire on her ring finger? Freda chuckled, remembering how Angela had raised her voice to tell Robin the news, knowing that Freda was in the back room and would – even with the washing machine humming away – be able to hear every heart-breaking word.
*
The University of Edinburgh’s graduation ceremonies were held in the iconic McEwan Hall: a magnificent, imposing building which was gifted to the university in 1897 by William McEwan who, at that time, was the owner of the largest breweries in the city.
When Ewan arrived at Teviot Place for his graduation, he and the lads that he had spent the last five years studying medicine with were stunned to silence. It was true that they had passed the amazing McEwan Hall many times before but today, on their special day, they took the time to really look at the building, which had been built in the Italian Renaissance style. As they passed through the hall’s portals, the lads gazed up at the dome above. Ewan only had time to read the beginning of the dome’s inscription – ‘wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom . . .’ – when he was reminded by John, one of his fellow students, that it was time for them to take up their places in the great hall for the graduation ceremony.
There are days that stay within our memories always, and the day that he graduated as a Doctor of Medicine would always be one of Ewan’s. As he waited to be called forward and capped, he thought back to the day at Hermitage Park School when the results of the Eleven-plus Qualifying Examinations were announced. He chuckled as he recalled how the headmaster had told his class teacher that only five in her class had passed and were eligible for a senior school education. The five did not include Ewan; he was one of the many remaining that was asked to pick up the rubbish in the playground. Pick up the rubbish! Was that all that he and Robin were thought to be capable of at the tender age of eleven? What a load of nonsense that was, because he was about to be capped at the University of Edinburgh, and Robin had built up one of the most successful and lucrative new businesses in the city. Ewan was grateful that he was called forward before he could think about how well the girls he had gone to school with were doing because that would, of course, mean thinking about Freda – Freda, who would always be beyond his reach.
As he proudly strode up to receive his honour, he knew that his mother would be crying and his father would be gazing at the mural decorations and works of art on the walls, because he would not wish people to know that he was overwhelmed by the occasion. Ewan thought about the differences between his life and his father’s. Ewan, even though he was from the working class, had been given the opportunity to have a privileged education, unlike his dad. His dear father, a man from the Pru who collected customers’ premiums for their death policies or endowment plans, was as bright as Ewan – or even brighter – but he was denied the education that would have allowed him to reach his full potential.
It was four o’clock in the afternoon when Ewan and his parents met up with Angela for high tea at The Wee Windaes restaurant on the Royal Mile. There was no doubt about it: when Angela sat herself down in front of the stained-glass windows of the restaurant, she outshone their brilliance. Her hair had been styled by Robin to look natural, soft and flowing. The expensive, emerald-green satin blouse she was wearing complemented not only her blonde hair, but also her soft skin tone. Ewan knew he should compliment her on looking so good and he would have done had his head not been left a mess after an uncomfortable incident with his mother on their journey to the restaurant.
They had been heading down the Royal Mile to the restaurant, when his mother had started trying to push a wad of notes into his hand. ‘Son,’ she had whispered, ‘your father, Angela and I are all so prou
d of you. Now, I know that you would like to ask Angela to marry you, but you cannot afford the engagement ring. So, here, take what I have been saving up for you, and put the icing on the cake today by buying Angela a ring!’
Ewan had pushed the money back towards his mother. At the sight of his scowl, she’d grown embarrassed and confused. ‘What’s the matter son?’ she had continued. ‘Nobody, especially not Angela, will know that it is my money that bought the ring.’
Ewan had drawn up abruptly. ‘Mum,’ he had hissed, ‘at the present time I do not wish to ask anyone to marry me, never mind Angela. Now,’ he had continued through gritted teeth, turning to face his mother straight on, ‘try and understand that it will be difficult enough for me to cope with two long, hard years of slog as a junior doctor in the hospitals, without complicating my life further with a non-starter of a romance!’
Mrs Gibson’s lips had quivered as she looked to her husband for support, only to find that he was doing what he always did in awkward situations between his wife and son: pretending that he was looking elsewhere. St Giles’ Cathedral and the Heart of Midlothian stone sculpture had his full attention.
By the time they had arrived at The Wee Windaes, Ewan had cooled down. Sitting at the table with his family and Angela, he now regretted his outburst. He knew that he was right to reject his mother’s offer of cash, but this was a big day for her and his harsh words had wounded her and blighted her joy. He also knew that she had told Angela to expect a ring, so Angela was going to be bitterly disappointed too. In addition to this, he feared that his mum felt she had not gone all out for him in planning a celebration, because she had not booked the upmarket Caledonian Hotel for dinner. He would never forget how her face had fallen when Pippa Gladstone’s mother, who had travelled up with Pippa’s father from their estate in the Borders, had matter-of-factly announced, ‘We have booked into the Caledonian Hotel and invited twelve others to join us there for dinner.’ Somehow, prawn cocktail, steak and chips, followed by Black Forest gateau, no longer seemed to be the upper-class nosh his mum had always thought it was.
Once the waitress had cleared away their coffee cups and Dad had settled the bill, Ewan announced that, as regrettable as it was, he would have to leave. Angela took this as a signal that she should join him but as she rose to take her jacket from the coat stand, Ewan continued, ‘Five of the lads I studied with are dragging yours truly on a well-earned pub crawl. Don’t wait up, Mum, but if I am not home by noon tomorrow, call the police!’
As Ewan left, Mrs Gibson bowed her head. She could not bear to look at Angela, because she was afraid to tell her that it would be at least another two years before Ewan would think about settling down.
Undaunted, Angela smiled sweetly at Mrs Gibson, before saying, ‘I must be off too. I’m meeting up with some friends to go and see a re-release of Gone with the Wind. I’ve seen it so many times before and I do believe Vivien Leigh is just wonderful in her part.’ She then seemed to retreat into a world of her own. Almost inaudibly, she whispered, ‘And tonight, when it appears that Scarlett has lost Rhett forever, I will take strength from her as she utters those unforgettable words . . . after all, tomorrow is another day.’
Nine
July 1972
The smartly-dressed young man sprinted towards the train, which was just about to be cleared for take-off. ‘Guard!’ he shouted. ‘Is this the London to Edinburgh Waverley train?’
Yanking open the first carriage door, the guard replied, ‘Yes, it is. In you go!’
Ewan leapt aboard, landing – thanks to the guard giving him a hefty push – on the floor. The carriage door banged shut behind him and, after one final whistle from the guard, the train began its journey northwards.
Before Ewan could pick himself up, a fellow traveller emerged from the first carriage to assist him. ‘Can I give you a hand up?’ he asked Ewan, before they both started to laugh.
‘You sure can,’ Ewan breathlessly replied. ‘Believe me, I was just so desperate to catch this train and get home to Auld Reekie that I sprinted to the station! And now I am doubly pleased that I made the effort, because it means that you and I can catch up, Robin.’
Assisting Ewan to his feet, Robin replied, ‘Aye, it’s been so long . . . It’s two years at least since we last had a pint together.’
‘Will we look for seats together?’
‘No need. I am the only traveller in my carriage, so we have it all to ourselves – unless, of course, someone gets on at any of the following stops.’
‘That’s a surprise. The train I came down on yesterday was so busy that some poor sods had to stand in the corridor for the complete journey.’
Once they were settled in the carriage, Ewan was again surprised – this time because of the carriage’s superior seating and spaciousness.
Robin got himself seated and Ewan took off his coat. Robin couldn’t hold his curiosity back any longer, so he asked, ‘Ewan, what took you down to London?’
Flopping down on the couch opposite Robin, a pensive Ewan replied, ‘Well, I know you know through Angela that I survived the two years working in hospitals – that said, only just! Honestly, you would not be worked as hard in prison after committing murder!’ Robin nodded, and Ewan continued, ‘Then, it was time to decide what branch I wished to specialise and serve in and I, being me, decided to become a GP.’
‘Good for you.’
‘There is an opening coming up at a practice at the foot of Leith Walk and there’s another in Musselburgh, but I’m not sure I want to go for either. A lad I graduated with got in touch with me to say that he is in London working as a GP, and there’s a vacancy at his practice.’
‘Are you saying that you will be leaving Edinburgh? Would that suit Angela?’
‘The answer to your first question is no,’ Ewan replied emphatically. ‘No, I will not be leaving Edinburgh, because on my way down to London last week I was overcome by homesickness before we’d even passed Newcastle!’
‘Homesick? Before Newcastle?’
‘You can laugh, but back home in Edinburgh, and in particular the place where we were brought up, there are people that mean too much to me to leave behind! Besides, London is too big, too noisy and too . . .’ He hesitated. ‘Too smug and pretentious.’
‘Does that mean that, at long last, I can hear wedding bells for you and Angela?’
Ewan shook his head but did not respond to the question. ‘And you, Robin, why are you on this train?’
‘I come down every four weeks to spend three hap-hap-happy days with Billy. Usually I come back on Mondays. But on this Sunday I am homeward-bound because our twins are starting school tomorrow and she-who-must-be-obeyed – my Jackie – would be piqued if I was not there to see her off on her first day.’
Ewan sat quietly and pondered. Why, he was wondering, did Robin go down to London every month to spend time with Billy, when he had a wife and children at home? It didn’t make sense to Ewan, so he quietly said, ‘Robin, I do not wish to pry, but this arrangement you have with Billy—’ He stopped. He knew what he wished to say, but the words seemed to stick in his throat.
Sensing Ewan’s unease, Robin said, ‘Are you asking if Billy and I are in a “gay relationship” as they call it nowadays? Yes, we are and we have been since we met as teenagers.’ He stopped to allow Ewan to digest what he had just said, before continuing, ‘Billy is now based in London, because his mother is attempting to break up our relationship.’ He chuckled, before adding, ‘And, believe me, opening a London salon was a good thing for her to do, because it is outdoing her Edinburgh one!’ He winked. ‘Oh, by the way, she knows nothing about my trips to London, so if you meet up with her . . . button your lip.’
‘But what about Freda and the children?’
Even although they were alone in the carriage, Robin looked furtively about to ensure that what he was about to impart to Ewan would not be overheard. Satisfying himself that they were alone, he leaned over and rubbed his hands together before wh
ispering, ‘Ewan, knowing you, I am sure that you will keep to yourself what I am about to confide to you.’ Ewan nodded his agreement and Robin continued, ‘You see, there would be more people than just Freda and I hurt if all and sundry were to find out the truth. Especially my father, who is besotted with Jackie and Harry – honestly, he would literally curl up and die if he knew. The truth is, I am not Jackie and Harry’s biological father. But, regardless of their true paternity and no matter what comes along, I will always be their father by choice.’
This news rocked and shocked Ewan. He had always hoped that Freda’s pregnancy was not the result of a sordid little affair, as gossip had suggested. He remembered how he had cringed when his mother told him that Angela was upset to discover that Freda was pregnant. According to his mother, Angela had respected Freda, so was disappointed to find out that she was ‘little more than a tart’.
He was brought back from his memories by Robin, who said quietly and seriously, ‘Ewan, what I am trying to tell you is that Freda was brutally assaulted and raped by her stepfather. Freda, being Freda, decided that abortion was not an option for her, so I suggested that we get married. She agreed, and it has worked out very well.’
Ewan wanted to ask, ‘Very well for who?’ but instead he said, ‘When did you first know about what happened to Freda?’
‘Almost immediately,’ Robin replied. ‘You see, Freda and I were doing up the shop at the time. On the day of the attack, she left the shop early to take Susan home. After she left, her brother, Stuart, arrived to drive her and Susan home. But the girls had already gone, so Stuart and I went for a pint at The Artisan Bar instead. We only had the one as the weather was getting worse, and we fancied a game of pool. So, we decided to take his grandfather’s car back to Marionville Crescent and park it, then go on to the pool hall. However, when we arrived at Granny Rosie’s house, Susan was on the doorstep crying that Freda required help. Granny Rosie told Susan to stay put at Marionville, and then the rest of us got into the car and Stuart drove like a maniac down to Sleigh Drive. When we got there, both Freda and Drew were unconscious. Freda’s mother, who was already in the house, was babbling incoherently as she kicked Drew’s body, over and over again.’ Robin grimaced. ‘She also had a bread knife in her hand and it was smeared with blood. Granny Rosie and Grandad then took charge. Freda was attended to first and once she was in bed, they decided that we should dispatch Drew—’
