by Rina Kent
“I have.”
“No, you haven’t. You just pretend you have, and I know it’s a coping mechanism, but I just want you to know that it’s okay if you’re tired of holding the mask in place. It’s okay if you want to drop it and just be you. I won’t look the other way. I promise.”
My hand finds her throat again, and I revel in the gulp and slight moan she releases. “You’re a fucking nuisance, did you know that? You’re not supposed to go digging in the darkest parts of me.”
“They’re still you and that’s all I care about.”
Well, fuck.
Just when I thought this woman couldn’t engrave herself under my skin any deeper, she goes ahead and digs herself a cozier nook where I’ll never be able to remove her.
And I want to shake her for it.
“You shouldn’t like those parts of me, not when I hate them myself.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I like about you.”
“Are you sure about that, Anastasia? Because there’s a shitload of fucking skeletons in my closet that you didn’t even know existed. I’ve been in bed with my demons for as long as I lived, ever since I was a clueless fucking child who still didn’t know what the world is all about. Ever since I had strange men touch me inappropriately and was too weak to stop them and save myself or my sister.”
“But you did.” Her voice is low, but it’s determined, as if she’s making sure to drive a point home. “You ran away. You saved both yourself and your sister. When no one stepped up to be your hero, you became one yourself. So no, Knox, you won’t scare me away. Those skeletons? I want to see them. And those demons? I will eventually chase them away.”
My jaw aches from how much I’m clenching it. I want to tell her no, that she’s not allowed near my fucking demons or else they will swallow her whole, but judging by the assertiveness written all over her delicate features, there’s no way in fuck I would change her mind.
And it boggles the shit out of me. The fact that she wants me, that she won’t shy away from any part of me.
Hell, she even wants to see me. All of me.
Not only the beautiful façade or the charming character, but also every fucked up side I’ve swept under the rug for decades.
Bloody decades.
And yet, she manages to drag everything out in no time.
“Besides,” she continues. “Those who pick and choose what parts of you to keep and what to throw away should rot in the darkest pit of hell. Because those parts? Those are what made you the man you are. Those are what brought you to Jersey the day I decided to go against my upbringing and do one thing for me, not for my family or what’s expected of me. You are that thing, Knox. That night might’ve been about sex, but it was so much more afterward. You showed me things I didn’t know existed and opened my eyes to the world. You gave me the safety I didn’t realize I was searching for.”
“Then why did you leave?”
“I told you. It was to protect you.”
I squeeze my fingers on the side of her neck, my voice tight. “Can’t you fucking understand that what you’ve done is no different than stabbing me and letting me bleed to death? I got so used to your lively presence and nerdy talk, and now that you’re gone, my flat feels like a tomb. I used to fall asleep listening to you narrate those long fantasy books in an awed tone, but now I can’t sleep anymore. So I smell your orange shampoo like a damn junkie to get a whiff of you and still fail to fill the gap you fucking left behind. So if protecting me means I’ll live without you, I don’t fucking want it.”
A lone tear slides down her cheek. “Knox…”
I cut her off with my lips on hers and I kiss her with a ferocity that hardens my dick and tightens my balls. I kiss her while holding her neck, and she continues to clutch my cheeks.
I kiss her until she’s struggling for air and her tongue is so entangled with mine, I don’t know where she starts and I end. But she kisses me back with the same heat, my Anastasia, as if she’s waited as much as I have for a taste, for a fragment of what we have.
Still kissing her, I reach between us and lift her dress to her waist. She mindlessly clutches my belt and helps me unzip my trousers and free my hard cock.
It’s been in a constant state of arousal ever since she left, and no amount of hand jobs could substitute for her warmth.
I move her panties to the side, groaning at how soaking wet she is, then I drive inside her without breaking the kiss.
Her body instantly welcomes me, opening up and arching in invitation. It’s like she’s been waiting for me as long as I’ve waited for her. Her back lifts off the bed and she shudders, her mouth parting from mine as she moans.
“Fuck, baby.” I dig my fingers in her throat. “I missed you.”
“I…I…missed you, too. I missed you so much, it hurt.”
I lose control at the sound of her needy words, not that I have any when it comes to her.
She effortlessly turns me into a fucking animal who’s unable to survive without her.
My pace picks up and I kiss her as hard as I fuck her until she’s sliding off the bed and my hold on her neck is the only thing keeping her in place.
One thing doesn’t change even as I fuck her hard and rough—the way she’s looking into my eyes while holding my face.
I’m here for you, she says with those expressive blues. I want you no matter what.
And it drives me wild. Looking at her while being inside her, looking at her while her channel tightens around me, strangling me, drives me fucking insane.
But instead of upping my rhythm, I take it slow for the first time ever. I roll my hips and drive deep into her until she’s shuddering again and her walls close around me like a vise.
My kiss becomes more passionate than frantic, my tongue toying with hers as my dick pounds her tight little cunt with measured thrusts. She pulls her legs wider apart, raising one up a little to allow me more access and I take it, going to lengths I’ve never imagined.
And when she starts shaking, her walls clenching around me, and she’s moaning loudly, I’m right there with her. My spine tingles and I shoot my cum inside her in long spurts until my balls are spent.
I’m about to crush her with my weight, so I maneuver us so that she’s on top of me, her icy blonde hair at my chin. But I remain deep inside her. My dick twitching, slowly but surely readying for another round.
We remain like that for a while, until her breathing evens out and I think she’s fallen asleep. It’s a habit of hers after sex.
Still wrapping a hand around her back, I reach into my trouser pocket and retrieve the butterfly pendant. I’ve kept it ever since she forgot it in the hotel room that day.
Every time I’ve looked at it, I recalled how the black wings flattened against her pale back when I first saw her that night.
The memory seems far away, but I can never forget it. If anything, I might have become obsessed with her since then.
I gently fasten the chain around her throat. The other one was ruined so I got her a golden chain to go along with it.
She stirs when the weight of the necklace—or its coldness—rests against her skin. At first, her gaze is confused, but when she looks down, her eyes widen. “My butterfly.”
“You mentioned it has value to you, so I thought I’d bring it. I put it on a chain so you can have it on you all the time.”
“Thank you.” A soft smile lifts her lips. “It’s the only thing I have left of Mom and it means so much to me.”
“I’m glad I was the one who found it then.”
“Me, too.” She runs her fingers over the black wings. “You know, back then, I used to think of myself as the fairy of the forest and used this as my magic wand to order trees and small animals around.”
A smile breaks on my lips. “I can clearly imagine you as a naughty fairy.”
“I…wasn’t naughty.”
“Uh-huh. Did you wear skimpy clothes, too?”
“Stop, you perver
t!”
“What? If you have a role-play kink, I’d be happy to oblige.”
“I do not.” She clears her throat. “Anyway, how did you get here?”
“An acquaintance Nate knows is apparently a Bratva associate and she got me here as her plus-one.”
She lifts her head, leaning her elbows on my chest to look me in the eye. “A woman?”
“Yeah.”
A frown appears between her brows. “And do you know her intimately?”
“Hmm. Maybe.”
“It’s a yes or no question.”
“My, my, beautiful, are you jealous?”
“No.” She stares into space.
“You’re so fucking adorable to think I would look at any other woman after I’ve been with you.”
She hiccups and it’s obviously involuntary, because her face and neck become a deep shade of red. “I…can’t look at other men either.”
My eyes narrow. “Is that why you have a fiancé?”
“Papa picked him because he’s Russian and part of the Bratva. I had no say in it.”
“That will change.” I slowly pull out of her, then stand up.
Even though my dick is craving another round, I need to take care of the fucker standing between us.
Anastasia’s face, however, loses the easygoing edge and goes back to that frightened stage. “W-what are you going to do?”
I go to her en-suite bathroom and wipe off my dick, then I return with wet towels, but she’s already cleaned herself with tissues and straightened up her clothes, and is staring at me with that perturbed look, one that I’ll erase from her face, once and for all.
“You need to leave, Knox. I’ll show you a back entrance where there aren’t many cameras…”
I grab her hand and interlink our fingers. “I’m going nowhere. It’s time I meet your family.”
Then I’m pulling her out of the room in the midst of her continuous protests. The moment we step out, she gasps, her hand trembling in mine, and I realize it’s because we’re face to face with an older white-haired man who has Anastasia’s exact eyes but with no innocence in them.
Her relation to him is confirmed when she whispers in a horrified tone, “Papa.”
39
ANASTASIA
A tremor jolts through my limbs and I freeze.
Ever since I saw Knox on the balcony, I knew this would happen.
I knew he’d get caught by someone. Anyone. I just didn’t think it’d be Papa himself.
You don’t get into the Pakhan’s house while he’s surrounded by his leaders and guards and hope to leave unscathed.
But I thought we had more time with the way all of them were preoccupied with the Yakuza stuff. I thought I could make Knox leave before they found him.
I might have let my vulnerability take hold of me for a while. I might have missed him so much that I just wanted to touch him, to make sure this wasn’t one of my cruel dreams that I’d soon wake up from.
I wasn’t jolted awake this time. Everything was real, whether it’s the way he kissed me, held me by the throat, or fucked me.
No, it wasn’t all fucking. At some point, he was making love to me while staring into my eyes.
At some point, he brought his forts down and allowed me to see him. All of him. Not the put-together lawyer who can blind anyone with his charisma, but the boy he once was. The broken, wounded boy he refuses to let anyone see.
But he let me. Only me.
I swear something inside me melted and fused with him at that moment. No idea what, but he’s holding it even now as we stare at Papa, Vladimir, and Adrian.
The most powerful men in the Bratva.
They’re not looking at me, though. Their hawk-like attention is on Knox and his grip on my hand. I try to release him, but he just tightens his hold on my fingers, refusing to budge.
“What is this?” Papa asks in his firm tone that rattles me to my bones.
My throat is dry and the words are stuck, but the stern look in my father’s gaze propels me to fumble for words. “I…I can explain, Papa…he…he’s…”
“I’m the man who loves your daughter and I refuse to leave without her.”
“Knox!” I hiss low, my wild gaze flying to my father’s.
“Then you won’t leave. Not alive, at least,” he says, then motions with two fingers at his guards who charge forward at Knox.
The worst-case scenario materializes in front of me as Papa’s buff guard reaches for him. I don’t even think about it as I jump in front of Knox, trying to ward off their malicious intentions.
“Papa…please don’t do this.”
“I told you to cut off all ties with him, Anastasia, but you didn’t. So we’re doing this my way.”
The guards push me aside and I trip, but Knox grips me by the arm to keep me standing.
I grab onto him as if he’s a lifeline. If he’s going to hurt Knox, he’ll have to hurt both of us.
Knox, however, steps in front of me, partly shielding me from my father. His broad shoulders are the only thing I see and I find solace in that. Safety in the midst of the chaos that’s whirling around me.
“Don’t touch her,” Knox tells the guards, his posture turning rigid and his voice holding a lethal edge.
“Or what?” It’s Vlad who asks in his thick, scary accent. “Do you think you can do anything? Here, of all places? I can put a bullet in your head in the next second for your insolence alone.”
Knox remains in his erect posture, not even a little fazed by Vladimir’s threats. “Is that how you treat possible business associates?”
“Associate?” Adrian asks with a note of curiosity.
Knox stares at Papa. “I have an offer for you, but I’ll not make it unless I’m given your word that Anastasia will be safe and free from any engagement you forced on her.”
“You do not make demands in my own house.” Papa’s voice hardens and I know he’s getting angry. I can taste the thickness of it in the air.
So I soften my voice. “Just…hear him out, Papa.”
I have no clue what type of plan Knox came up with, but any plan is better than nothing at this point.
“What’s your offer?” Adrian asks.
“I won’t say anything until I’m given your word.”
“Speak or I’ll put that bullet between your eyes.” Vlad doesn’t reach for his waistband, but I don’t have to see it to know there’s a gun there.
I release a fractured breath and tighten my sweaty hand on Knox’s, then whisper, “Just say whatever you came to say…please…”
If he doesn’t, Papa won’t hesitate to give the order to kill him. And if I witness that, I won’t be able to survive.
I can tell Knox doesn’t want to budge, but playing hotheadedness with the leaders of the brotherhood is the last thing he wants to do. These are men who are used to violence and wouldn’t hesitate to use it on him.
When I squeeze his hand one more time, he says, “I heard you’re looking to legitimize more of your income through your legal front, V Corp, and I can help with that.”
“How?” Adrian asks.
“I own a third of a multi-billion-dollar empire that’s currently managed by my father and my sister. That’s how.”
“So you’ll invest in V Corp.” It’s not a question. Adrian is grappling with details and forming his own theories. “How much are we talking about?”
“Every penny to my name.”
I gasp, holding my hand to my mouth to hide the sound. Did he just say he’ll give all his money to my family?
For me?
Papa watches Knox without a change of expression and Vladimir still has suspicion written all over his face.
It’s Adrian who remains in his calm and continues his interrogation. “Wouldn’t your father oppose such a step? I believe a successful businessman like him wouldn’t want ties with us.”
“I already spoke to him and he won’t interfere with any decisions I make about my inheri
tance.”
A brief silence falls in the hall and I fidget, my hands turning clammier in Knox’s as I wait with bated breath. In theory, they should agree. Adrian of all people would because profit is his first aim, but Vlad and Papa are much more traditionalist and wouldn’t look at it from that perspective.
He’s still an outsider and definitely not Russian.
“Leave,” Papa tells Knox.
“I said I won’t until you give me your word—”
“Leave,” Papa cuts him off, but he’s not threatening him again. He’s not telling him that if he doesn’t leave, he’ll kill him.
Which means he’s changed his mind about something, or maybe he’s considering another option.
I can’t help the hope that blossoms beneath my ribcage and spreads to my whole body.
Knox is about to say something, but I grab his arm and shake my head. I rise on my tiptoes and whisper to his ear, “This is the closest thing to a truce that he can offer, so just go… I’ll call you.”
“No.”
“Knox, please…you won’t get another chance to leave this house alive.”
“I don’t want it if it means separating from you.”
A shadow falls over us and it’s Vlad, glaring at both of us. “Are you going to leave with your head in place or should I sever it first?”
“He will,” I say firmly and then nudge Knox, begging him with my eyes to make the smart choice.
His jaw tightens and those beautiful golden eyes darken. For a second, I think he’ll say no and land himself in trouble, but he slowly relaxes his jaw.
“If she doesn’t call me in a day,” he tells my father, “I’ll be back, and this time, you won’t be able to kick me out.”
Vlad steps forward, probably to smack him for the insolence of speaking to the Pakhan that way, but Papa shakes his head.
Knox pulls me to him, brushes his lips on the top of my head, then says, “I’ll be back, beautiful.”
And with that, he slowly releases me and walks between Papa and Adrian with sure confidence.
