by Carrie Quest
“I’ll stay awake,” he promises. “Fuck, are you naked?”
He twists around, trying to get a look at me, but I lean forward, pinning him to the bed.
“No peeking,” I whisper in his ear. “Relax. Close your eyes.”
I ran the little bottle of oil under the hot water in the bathroom to warm it, so I dribble a few drops on his back, watching them run down the strong planes of muscle before dipping my fingers in.
“Are you writing on me?”
I eye the heart I just drew. “Maybe.”
“Keep going,” he says. “Touch me, Piper.”
I lean forward again, not caring that oil smears on my breasts, and nuzzle the nape of his neck. “Okay.”
I add more oil and start with some long, sweeping strokes from his lower back all the way up to his neck, searching for knots. There are several right along his spine, so I dig in with the heels of my hands, pressing on them until I feel the tension easing. Then I walk my fingers up to his neck, brushing his hair out of the way so I can concentrate on that sweet spot at the base of his skull.
Adam groans. “That is so good. You feel amazing up there. Let me turn over.”
“Not yet.” I lean in, rocking my pelvis as I skim kisses over his shoulder blades, and, oh, that feels good. I wiggle around on top of him, grinding down to get the pressure I’m craving.
Is it dry humping if there’s oil involved? If I’m so turned on that I’m probably wet enough to be dripping all over his back?
“Fucking hell, Piper,” he groans. “I can feel how ready you are. Please let me turn over.”
“Okay.” I still my hands, and before I can even lift them off his skin he’s moving, twisting underneath me, both of our bodies slick with oil. He stares up at me, his eyes dark and hooded and unreadable. I squirm, wanting him to move and fill me, but he holds me still with his hands on my hips.
“Let me look at you for a minute.”
I stare back at him, wishing I could open his mind and read his thoughts. Wishing I knew how to make everything better.
Instead, I lean forward and kiss him, teasing those plush lips open with my tongue, then tilting my head and kissing him as deep as I can. He releases my hips with a low growl in the back of his throat, and suddenly I’m on my back and he’s above me, balanced on his elbows with his hard cock pressed up against my opening, so close to where I’m aching for him.
“I love you,” he rasps out, still staring deep into my eyes. “I’ll always love you, Piper.”
I try to hold his gaze, but it’s too intense. Because he’s telling me he loves me, but it feels like a goodbye, and I’m not ready to think about that yet. I can’t. I still have time.
“I love you too,” I whisper, staring at his shoulder, and that must be enough for him because he moves his hips and slides inside me.
We both moan as he thrusts deep and then pulls out again, teasing me by rubbing his tip over my clit before sinking back inside. I still can’t look at him, so I close my eyes and just feel…his hardness inside of me, the ridge of his cock rubbing over my inner walls and driving me wild, the grip of his hands on mine as he raises them above my head and holds on tight. He lowers himself even farther, nearly crushing me into the bed, pressing his chest against my breasts, and kissing me wet and deep and sweet enough to break my heart.
I wrap my legs around his back and suddenly every thrust has him hitting that spot that only appears when Adam is inside me. Maybe it’s like the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts: it only shows up when I have extreme need.
I huff out a little laugh at the thought, and Adam breaks our kiss so he can look at me.
“I love to see you smile,” he says. “I’d do anything to make you look like that forever.”
I want to answer him, I do, but he keeps pushing into me, slow and steady and perfect, and I’m too lost in sensation to speak. All I can do is stare at him as the knot inside me gets tighter and tighter and then shatters.
“Fuck yes,” he grunts, thrusting even faster. “Come for me, Piper.”
I gasp and throw my head back, helpless, as every muscle in my body seizes up and then melts into a delicious puddle. Adam stiffens above me and calls out my name, then buries his head in my neck. I feel him pulsing inside me, and I throw my arms around him, hands sliding over his slippery back, pulling him as close as I can as we ride through the aftershocks.
We stay that way for a while, both of us reluctant to move, until Adam finally lifts his head and drops a sweet kiss on my lips.
“Wow,” I say. “That was…”
“Yeah.” He rolls off me and sprawls out on his back, one arm thrown over his head. I watch his chest rise and fall.
“We should clean up.”
“Yeah,” he says again, but a second later his eyes drift closed and he’s asleep, his chest moving gently up and down. I survey the damage, but apparently we weren’t too crazy with the oil because the sheets look okay, and Adam’s face is so peaceful that there’s no way I’m waking him up.
Instead, I pull the covers over him and go to the bathroom to clean myself up a little. I stare into my own eyes in the mirror and the magical orgasm endorphins disappear.
He wasn’t saying goodbye. You still have time to figure this out.
I repeat it a few times, but my eyes stay sad and solemn. Because whatever Adam went through today hurt him in a place so deep inside that I can’t touch it, and it’s obvious that I’ve been fooling myself if I think that a few announcer gigs and some hot sex is going to cure his inability to be around winter.
He wasn’t saying goodbye.
Maybe not yet, but he will be, and I’m running out of time.
20
Adam
When Ben asks me to meet him for dinner, I give it a fifty-fifty chance that he’s going to yell at me about messing around with his sister and punch me in the face. He’s been acting a little weird the last couple days, squirrelly about hanging out and vague when he does talk to me, like there’s something he’s not saying. I figured he was getting into the zone—focusing on his game face before his event—but his serious tone when he calls makes me think that whatever’s bugging him goes beyond snowboarding.
So I’m nervous when I show up in the lobby to meet him, which is all kinds of fucked up since he’s my best friend. I’ve probably eaten more meals with him than without him in my adult life, but my palms are sweaty and my heart is racing when he walks across the lobby toward me. Piper and I have been keeping things on the down low, but I’m sure Natalie knows where I’ve been spending my nights. Ben never had a problem with us before, but he is well aware that I’ll be getting my ass on a plane as soon as the closing ceremony is over. Could be he has a definite problem with me messing around with his little sister when there’s no way we have a future together.
Fuck, I wouldn’t blame him. There’s no way I’d be feeling this nervous if I wasn’t also feeling shitty about our whole arrangement. Every time Piper and I are together, even if it’s just smiling at each other across a crowded room, makes one thing crystal fucking clear: leaving her is going to hurt about a million times more than I thought it would. Which, fine. I knew the score going in. I can handle it.
But the thought of hurting her twists me up inside, and at this point if Ben wants to take a swing at me, I’ll let him. Hell, I’ll put my hands behind my back and offer up my face so he can get a good shot. I deserve it.
He nods when he sees me, and we shoot the sit about how much ass Zeke kicked in the final today, dissecting his gold medal run trick by trick as we make our way over to the cafeteria in the Village. I’m not sure what kind of magic Gabe Power has, but so far the pass he gave me has gotten me in everywhere I’ve wanted to go. Ben stays silent as we load up our trays, him with a shitload of vegetables and some lean chicken and me with a burger and fries.
“That’s a serious meal.”
He shrugs and looks at his tray with distaste. “I can’t fucking wait to eat pizza.”
/>
“They have it right over there.”
“Not until after.”
I grin and rip off a chunk of my burger.
“Asshole,” he says mildly.
He digs in and doesn’t seem inclined to talk, so I look around, checking out the scene. The Leap Instagram thing is happening tonight, so there’s a ton of buzz around the place. The list is getting released any minute, and people are glued to their phones, waiting to find out what pictures they’ll be chasing. Of course, they could also be on their phones looking for hook-ups. The Village is notorious for sex, which makes sense since everyone here is young, in killer shape, and high on adrenaline. No wonder the organizing committee bulk orders condoms.
I’m done with the burger and halfway through the fries when Ben finally clears his throat and speaks.
“So we haven’t had much of a chance to talk since you got here. Everything going okay?”
I study his face. There’s a tick in his jaw and he’s pressing his lips together like he’s holding something in. Something big. Fuck, this sucks. I should have told him upfront—I hate playing games.
One deep breath and I’ll confess. If he gives me a black eye, I’ll just ask to film outside tomorrow and keep my official Big Air issued shades on. The sponsors will fucking love it.
“It started in Breck and it’ll end when she gets on the plane for Europe,” I tell him. “We both agreed. It was her idea, actually, but if you want to punch me, I get it. Just let me finish my fries and we’ll go outside. I think the Russian bobsled team’s over there and we don’t want to start a brawl.” I drag a fry through the pile of ketchup on my plate and sit up a little straighter, bracing myself.
Ben blinks at me and shakes his head. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Me and Piper.”
“You and Piper?”
“Yeah, dude. Me and your sister. Isn’t that why you wanted to have this little chat?”
Ben reaches over to my plate and grabs a handful of forbidden fried fruit. Then the fucker bogarts my ketchup, but I let him. I’m sleeping with his little sister. It’s only fair.
He chews in silence for a moment, drawing it out. “So you and Piper are back together?”
“Jesus. Yes. Are you fucking with me right now?”
He holds up his hands. “Relax. No, I’m not fucking with you. I had no idea.”
“Seriously?”
“No clue.” He grabs some more fries. “Her idea, huh? And you’re both okay with ending things when she goes?”
I shift in my seat and his eyes narrow. “Adam?”
“It was her idea, and we both know things have to end. She has that internship and then grad school, and I’m too fucked up to be around snowboarding or winter so that’s just the way things are.”
“Is it getting better?”
For a crazy second I think he’s asking if the sex with Piper is getting better, and I can feel heat flood my cheeks. I whip off my beanie and push my hair off my face, then take a huge gulp of cold water.
“I meant, being around snowboarding, you absolute jackass,” Ben says.
“I know.”
He raises an eyebrow and snorts.
“The snowboarding shit is about the same,” I say, because it’s way the fuck past time to change the direction of this conversation. “I’m not there yet.”
Ben lowers his head. “I’m really sorry if you felt like you needed to come here to be with me,” he says quietly.
“That was part of it,” I tell him honestly. “But it was mostly about the money. And about testing myself. Getting to see you win is only the bonus.”
He sighs. “Don’t count on that, dude. Lots of hungry guys out there.”
Ben’s superstitious about this shit so I don’t push it. “Fine, getting to see my best friend ride in the fucking Olympics is the bonus. But really, it was something I needed to try for myself.”
“You passing the test?”
I huff out a laugh. “I’m still here, so I guess so. But it isn’t good for me. I still want it too bad, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I don’t know how to stop. I’m like an addict, bargaining with myself. Maybe in a year. Maybe in two years. Maybe if I start training again and get in really good shape…you know?”
Ben nods and I crush my empty water bottle and let out a groan of frustration. “I know I can’t ride again.” I hold up my wrist, so he can see the NEVER tattoo. “I know it, but I can’t believe it. Not sure if that’s because my brain is fucked up or what, but there it is.”
I drop my hand down on the table, and Ben puts his palm over the tattoo and squeezes my forearm. Tight. Holding me together so the frustration and the fear doesn’t split me apart. We stay that way for a few minutes while I get my shit together.
“You’re really stealing my thunder here, man,” Ben finally says. “I brought you here to tell you something, and first you hit me with the Piper thing, then you make it impossible for me to get pissed about you guys getting involved when there’s an expiration date, which is clearly a fucking stupid plan, by the way, for both of you.”
“I know that now,” I mumble. I’ve always known it really. “Just make sure you guys take care of her, okay? It might be rough. After.”
He studies me for a second, clearly wanting to say something else, but Ben’s always been good about reading me and he must see that any more talk about Piper and I will lose it. Hell, I might start a brawl with the Russian bobsled team to distract myself. Anything to stop picturing her face when we say goodbye.
Anything to stop picturing my face as she walks away.
I clear my throat. “So what did you want to tell me?”
Now it’s Ben’s turn to start shifting around in his seat. “It’s about me and Natalie.”
“Everything okay? Piper’s going to kill you if you’re canceling that party by the way, so you’d better not be asking me to help you break that bit of news.”
“Definitely not canceling the party.”
He stops, and we stare at each other across the table.
“Okay,” I say after a few minutes of silence. “Did you want to tell me this news or are you expecting me to guess?”
“Shit.” Ben thunks his forehead on the table a couple times. “I am so bad at this. I’m fucked.”
“Bad at what?”
He sits up and squares his shoulders. “I’m going to propose to Nat.”
Something inside me freezes, like I drew in a deep breath of icy air too fast and my body doesn’t know what to do with it. I should be smiling, laughing, standing up to pull him into a hug, telling him how happy I am for him and Nat. Instead, all I can do is stare.
“I’m going to ask her at the party,” Ben continues. “In front of everyone, which will be embarrassing as fuck, but I think she’ll like it and hopefully it will make up for her missing out on doing the whole bookstore launch party thing. Plus, it will be Valentine’s Day, and she deserves something really special after putting up with my training shit this year.”
He grins and snags my last fry. “What do you think?”
My heart is pounding, and I want to run. Just jump up so fast my chair goes flying and take off, out of here and away from Ben. I want to run so fast and so far that the heat and sweat melt whatever froze inside of me so that I can feel what a best friend should be feeling: happiness, pride, joy, hope…all that good shit.
And I do feel that, I honestly do. But it’s buried under some heavy jealousy and shame. Because he’s about to ask the love of his life to build a future with him, and I can’t do that. He’s moving forward, and I’m stuck in the same shitty place. Worse, every single second I spend with Piper is trapping her here too.
“Adam? What’s wrong, man?”
Ben’s sunburned cheeks turn as white as the goggle marks around his eyes. “Do you think she’ll say no?”
“Of course not.” I clear my throat and force a smile. “She’ll love it. Congratulations, man. I’m really happy for
you guys.”
“You don’t think I’ll make too much of a dick of myself doing it in public?”
“Nah, you’ll totally make a dick of yourself, but it’ll be worth it.”
“Ass.” He balls up a napkin and throws it at me. I dodge and laugh and suddenly my smile is real. I jump up and yank him into a back-thumping hug.
“You can’t tell Piper,” he says when I release him. “She’s got zero poker face, and I want it to be a surprise.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.” Totally safe. Fort Knox fucking safe. The last thing I want to do is talk to Piper about the future.
“Thanks.”
“Do you have a whole speech planned?”
“I figured I’d just drop down and ask her. Do you think I need a speech?”
His eyes are wide and his face is all white again, and the poor fucker looks so terrified that I hug him again. Partly to hide the fact that I’m laughing at him.
“Nah, just speak from the heart. She’ll love it no matter what. Did you get a ring?”
He nods. “Got it a month ago. It’s in the hotel safe so I don’t lose it.”
“You thought of everything.”
“I tried.”
Poor kid still looks faintly green, so I steer him out of the crowded cafeteria and onto the snowy street. “Think your training regime could allow for a single celebratory beer?”
I’m expecting a hard no because Ben’s a machine when it comes to training, but he surprises me again.
“Half a beer.”
“Done. I’m buying.”
We wander down the street in search of a bar, and we don’t talk anymore about me and Piper or him and Nat. He asks me what I think of the pipe, and I tell him what I noticed watching the practice runs today. We end up in a little hole in the wall place at the end of an alley. The walls are paneled wood and it’s full of deep booths with a flower-pattern fabric that I’m pretty sure my great-grandma had on her sofa back in the day.
Someone recognizes Ben and sends over a bottle of clear liquor that burns like hell on the way down, but they all cheer when we do a shot, so we do a couple more to keep everyone happy. After that Ben switches to water and I order a beer, and we munch our way through little dishes of dried squid, nuts, and some shrimp crackers that make me want to hurl. Ben’s diet rule and his eight hours of sleep rule are both forgotten, but he doesn’t seem to give a shit. It’s like old times: me and him in a foreign country, talking about snowboarding and laughing into the night.
