“Whoever wins the wager will seduce the other person.”
I burst into laughter, but a quick glance at his face made it absolutely clear that he was quite serious. “Right, so if I lose the bet, you get to seduce me, and if I win the bet, I’m the one doing the seducing? I may be a bit thick in the head what with all those falls I took yesterday, but I don’t see any motivation in this wager for ensuring a win. I mean, we both benefit whether we win or lose.”
He flashed a roguish, very wolflike smile back at me, and was about to reply when we suddenly stopped. Sunlight shone ahead, signaling the end of the forested area. Nikola had been forced to make a circuitous path through the trees to stay in the shade, and when we reached the ragged edge of the tree line, he paused, looking out at the road.
It was paved.
I cracked my knuckles, and smiled as I drawled, “Excellent. I believe I shall introduce some fun things into the next seduction. Have you ever heard of massage oil that heats when you blow on it?”
“What is that?” he asked, pointing toward the road. “It looks too smooth to be cobblestones.”
“It’s called blacktop, or asphalt. It does have stones in it, actually, just all ground up and blended with some other things, and then heated up to a really high temperature, which makes it viscous. It’s poured on roads while it’s hot, and then kind of smoothed out, so cars can drive on it.”
He took a deep breath as he pulled out his notebook. “I cannot believe I miscalculated so greatly with regards to that portal. It looked depleted. I’m going to need a second journal if this keeps up.”
“There’s bound to be a learning curve, but that’s to be expected. After all, I had to have someone explain to me how to use the closet stool thing that’s really a camping toilet.”
“Closestool.”
“Yeah, yeah, my point is that it’s your turn to not know how everything works, but don’t worry, I’ll be happy to explain stuff as we come upon it. Let’s go down to town, and I’ll find a phone and call my cousin to pick us up.”
He took a deep breath, his fingers twitching a little.
I smiled. “How much of that sentence did you understand?”
“Everything to the point where you mentioned a phone.”
I leaned down and patted his arm. “It’ll make sense in a while. Town’s that way, to the left.”
He gave the road a considering look, then turned the horse to the right, staying in the shadow of the trees as he led Thor uphill, rather than down. “No. I refuse to accept that the portal was anything but depleted. Therefore, we will go home, and then I will show you that despite the miracle of the smooth cobblestoned road, we have not done the impossible and used a spent portal.”
“Your castle isn’t there any longer, Nikola. I’m sorry, I know it’s going to be upsetting to realize that neither of your kids maintained it after you were killed, but I’m afraid that’s the truth. The castle is a ruin now, some of it having been destroyed in a war during the nineteen hundreds, according to what my cousin told me, and the rest of it falling into decay afterward.”
Nikola said nothing, just set his jaw, and grimly led Thor and me up the winding road. Hidden as we were by the stand of forest that covered the slopes of the mountain, it wasn’t until we came to the end of the tree line that Nikola stopped and stared, his head tilted back.
The ruins of a castle were clearly visible atop the mountainside.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, sliding off the horse to put my hand on Nikola’s arm. His face wore a stricken look, as if some vital part of his being had been severed. “I’m really, really sorry.”
“For the fact that my home is destroyed,” he asked, his eyes still on the remains of the castle, “or for the disillusionment I feel in realizing that I don’t after all know how the world functions?”
“For your castle,” I said, giving in to the urge that had been tormenting me. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. His scent teased me until I buried my face in his neck, breathing deeply, and fighting the almost desperate need I had to bite him.
It still shocked me, this sudden urge to bite him, but since it didn’t seem to discombobulate Nikola, I was willing to cope with it without becoming obnoxiously paranoid that I was going to turn into a vampire, too.
His arms came around me, pulling me tight against his body. My inner bits gave a cheer of happiness.
I told you that Dark Ones do not work that way.
“I know, but how else do you explain the fact that I want to bite you? I’ve never bitten any other sexual partner. It’s totally unlike me. And don’t tell me that I also said I don’t sleep with guys I haven’t known for a long time, because I’m well aware that I’ve totally gone out of character on that front, as well.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything about that.” He donned a noble expression.
I shook my finger at the expression, and bit his chin. “Maybe not, but you were thinking it.”
“Perhaps.” His hands slid down from my waist to my behind. What you feel is not your desire to bite me, but my need to feed on you, sweetling.
I giggled at the endearment, and wriggled against him. A bit peckish, are you?
I begin to suspect that I shall always be so around you. Cease squirming in that distracting manner; I am attempting to conduct a thorough scientific study of the area.
You are? I pushed back from where I had, in fact, been brazenly rubbing myself on him. “How are you doing that?”
“I am examining my surroundings in a comprehensive manner.”
I watched him for a minute or two. He stood with one arm still around me, his eyes slowly scanning across the area in front of us.
“You’re just looking,” I said, a bit confused (it was becoming an all too familiar state).
“Yes. It is the scientific way. I shall be happy to explain it to you at a later time.”
“But that’s hardly a thorough scientific study. I mean, if you wanted to do that, you should make a grid of the area, and then examine each square of the grid for clues or evidence or whatever it is you do when you want to know every little thing about that spot. You’ll probably need those little number cards to mark stuff of interest, and of course latex gloves and those bootie things that keep you from leaving footprints. I wonder if it would be possible to get an infrared camera? I’ve always wanted one of those. Hmm.”
He stopped scanning and frowned at me. “What are you babbling about?”
“A thorough scientific study.” I shook my head. “Those cameras are probably too expensive, and besides, I heard they’re best used at night, and who in their right mind is going to try to examine the ground at night?”
He started to reach for his notebook, gave me an odd look, and let his hand drop. “I refuse to be a slave to your determination to make me insane with curiosity. I do not care what bootie things are, or why an infrared camera is too expensive, let alone what it is, and why you would need gloves made of latacks.”
“Latex, and that’s fine, punkin,” I said, patting his arm in a supportive manner. “You have plenty of time to learn about the twenty-first century; you don’t have to do it all at once.”
“No, but I wish to learn as much as I can so that when we return home, I will have ample notes to study at leisure.”
I stared at him, little goose bumps crawling up my arms. “When we return home?”
“Yes. Once we have explored what there is here, of course. I will not rush you, although I hesitate to leave Imogen alone for more than a few weeks.”
“But…uh… Nikola, we are home.”
He turned to face me, a frown pulling down his brows. “We are in the future.”
“Which is my home, yes.”
“It is not, however, mine.”
“But it’s the future! It’s better than what you left!” I said, frustration building inside me. “The technology alone is going to blow your mind.”
“I do not wish for my mind to be blown,”
he said, his frown growing. “Are you saying that you do not wish to return with me to my home?”
I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times before I could finally put words into action. “No, I’m not saying that, but, Nikola, we don’t even know that it’s possible to return back to your time. You said yourself that the portal looked like it was almost wiped out.”
“And with time, it may strengthen. It might not, but that will be an issue we can address should that happen. Until then, I intend to explore your world, and when the portal is once again usable, return home.” His gaze pinned me back. “I had assumed you would return with me.”
“I… I think that you need to give the present a chance before you make plans to return to the past,” I said carefully.
He studied me. “You did not like my home and my time.”
“I didn’t say that. I just said that I think you need to try out my time before you—before we make a decision. OK?”
He was silent a few minutes. “Very well. You were at my home for a few days; I can do the same for you.”
I bit back the comment that such a short time wasn’t going to be nearly enough to show him what the present was like, knowing full well that the same could be said to me of the past. This wasn’t an argument that was going to be settled quickly or easily.
I changed the subject. “Exactly how hungry are you? Should I give in to my biteyness so that you can fill up, or can it wait until we can find somewhere more private than the side of the road next to a haunted forest?”
He sighed. “The Zauberwald is not haunted; it is simply…different.”
I wrapped my arms around him, and gently bit the tendon in his neck.
“Your attempt to seduce me into making love to you is not at all appropriate at this time,” he said sternly a few seconds before his mouth took over mine, his tongue going all bossy in a way that had me melting against him. “It is daylight, and should I give in to your wanton and wholly inappropriate demands, I would end up with severe burns along my back and buttocks.”
“There’s always the forest,” I pointed out with a coyness that took me by surprise. I was never coy! “And I could be on top in case any pesky sunlight sneaked through the branches.”
He thought for a moment, his gaze flickering over to the line of trees. I could feel him considering it, weighing the desire and hunger that he kept so severely reined in with an excited curiosity about this new environment. “That would result with pine needles finding their way into parts of me that would prefer not to entertain them.”
I smiled, and gave him a swift kiss before turning to where Thor was cropping the grass. I let Nikola stand in the shade while I led the horse over to him. “Later it is. If you put my shawl over your head, do you think you could ride?”
“I am an expert horseman. I can ride with or without a shawl with equal ease.”
“Smart-ass. You know what I mean.”
He picked me up and heaved me into the saddle. “I do, but the question is moot. Thor would not be happy with two riders.” He took the bridle again, and began to lead the horse along the edge of the tree line, staying in the shade as much as possible.
“I’m sure he wouldn’t be, but it would be faster, and it would alleviate my guilt at riding when you have to walk. Oh, man, your face is turning red. Here, let me drape the shawl over your head. That might protect you a bit.”
He tried to wave the shawl away, but after a few minutes of arguing, he gave in and let me drape it over his head.
We walked along in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds audible the sharp, high calls of birds, and the occasional low drone of noise that I had no problem picking out as belonging to a car.
“So, how old were you when you were vamped?”
Nikola glanced back at me, his pale blue eyes filled with curiosity. “I was seven and twenty. My mother died about a year later. She was taken by typhoid fever. My brothers had it, as well, but they survived.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been really hard on you. And you had no friendly neighborhood vamp to show you the ropes?”
“What rope?”
I waved it away. “It’s just an expression. What did your family think about what happened to you?”
Thor’s muffled hoofbeats filled in the silence for a minute. “My mother was dead, as was her second husband. My brothers were two and three years younger than me.”
He didn’t say anything more, but I sensed some strong emotion in him, an unhappy emotion, one that I wanted to explore, but with a mental oath at myself, I kept my lips (and mental microphone) quiet. Of course he felt a strong emotion; he was remembering how his world had changed at the hands of a demon lord. I wanted to ask who he believed had damned him in that way, but a swift glance at the rigid set of his shoulders and the tense line of his jaw told me my questions would not be welcome.
Instead, I spent the next forty minutes chatting about the town, and what differences he’d find once we reached there. I explained about cars, and cell phones, and airplanes, and was just broaching the subject of computers when we made the last turn of the twisty road that led into town. Below us, in the smooth pastureland that was the valley floor, the GothFaire still sat in its U shape of brightly colored tents, with equally colorful travel trailers arranged in a neat formation on the far side of the fairway.
“They’re still here?” I asked aloud, my eyes on a distant figure of a man as he wandered through the fair. “Well, that’s a stroke of luck. Look, Nikola, the fair is still here.”
He glanced over at it, his brows rising a little under the shadow cast by the shawl over his head. “Ah. Are there conjurers? I’ve always had an interest in conjurers. When I was very young, I wished to become one, but my mother said that no baron had ever been a conjurer, and she refused to get a tutor for me so that I might learn the art. I studied it on my own, naturally, but I believe that I would have been an excellent conjurer if only I had been apprenticed accordingly.”
“You are seriously the strangest man I’ve ever met,” I told him, sliding off Thor. “Fascinating, but strange.”
“You also find me arousing,” he said with a smug, very male expression on his handsome face. “Even now you wish to wrestle me to the verge, and ride my manly parts.”
“Look, it’s bad enough that you know I’m thinking these smutty things about you, but you don’t have to tell me that you know I’m thinking them!”
“Why?”
“Why? What do you mean, why? Isn’t it obvious?”
“If it was obvious, I wouldn’t have asked. I’m not the sort of man who talks just to hear himself speak. I do, however, have a curiosity about such things, which I believe I’ve mentioned in the past. So if I ask why, it is because I do not understand how acknowledging the fact that you spend an inordinate amount of time dwelling on the subject of riding me, not to mention reliving those moments earlier in the previous evening when you did, in fact, do just that, is repugnant to you. You wish to ride me, and I have no objection to such a desire, so we are of one mind regarding that subject. Why would you not wish to admit it?”
“For someone who doesn’t talk just to hear himself, you sure do go on and on,” I said somewhat tartly. The fact that he was absolutely right was neither here nor there, but I was determined to rise above such things and move on. “And as long as we’re being strictly factual, I may want to ride you like a ten-cent pony, but I don’t wish to do so on the side of the road. Come on, let’s get into town so all that riding can commence. Er…not in public, but in private. In my room. Assuming Gretl doesn’t have a hissy over you, which I don’t think she will, but you never know. GothFaire doesn’t open until nighttime, so we have plenty of time for all those things you are thinking about doing to me—oh yes, don’t look so innocent. I’m completely aware of your determination to try some kinky position you read about in a naughty French pamphlet you have hidden behind some boring books in your study—what was I saying? Oh, the GothFaire doesn’t
open until later, so we can visit it then, and you can see Imogen and your son and his wife.”
He stopped and stared at me, his eyes wide beneath the folds of my shawl wrapped around his head. “Benedikt has married? He’s too young!”
“He’s over three hundred years,” I reminded him.
He grumbled at that, but allowed me to take the lead and hustle him toward town.
The Incredible Adventures of Iolanthe Tennyson
July 15, Part 2 (there’s a lot to write about)
I had to stop writing about the stuff that happened when we came back to the present day because all hell broke loose, but I don’t want to ruin anything by doing that foreshadowing crap, so I won’t say anything other than man alive! Just when you think everything is peachy keen.
Nikola coped with things much better than I expected, certainly much better than I had dealt with the eighteenth century. Mind you, he didn’t have to undergo the hell that was finding a camping toilet all done up to look spiffy and stuff inside a house (but let’s face facts—it was still a camping toilet).
When we walked into town, Nikola was all big eyes and curiosity about everything—cars and people and buildings—but he took it all in stride and simply made copious notes about what he wanted explained.
The people in town were equally cool about the fact that we led a horse into town, but given the pastureland around it, I gathered it wasn’t an unknown thing to see someone ride around the more urban areas. By the time I begged a woman who was outside gardening to use her phone, and called Gretl (and submitted to her screams of joy, and later a tirade about disappearing without a word to her), Nikola had removed the shawl I’d tossed over his head to protect his face from the sun, and begun to conduct what he thought of as a scientific examination of the people of the twenty-first century.
“I know, I know, I have tons of explaining to do, and I’ll gladly do it, but if you could bring me some clothes and my passport and the credit cards that’re tucked into my suitcase, and meet me in town at the hotel, I’ll tell you what happened. Although you probably should be braced for a really weird tale,” I told her after she had run out of steam. “I don’t suppose anyone found my purse and camera, did they?”
A Tale of Two Vampires Page 17
