But nothing about this was simple, and how was he supposed to focus on a job when his head was full of Merry’s smile, her laugh, her big, beautiful eyes?
“You look like you’ve been swimming in the Hudson.”
The voice startled him, and he spun around like he was being attacked. To his immense astonishment, Merry stood there. She was wearing a raincoat, the hood pulled up, and her eyes gleamed from the shadows.
“Whoa!” she said, flinching at his sudden movement. “I’m not going to headbutt you again, I promise.”
“Merry!” he said.
“The one and only,” she replied. “What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting,” he said, too flabbergasted to form a complete sentence.
“Waiting for what?” she asked. “If you don’t mind me asking?”
“Uh…” He paused, wondering if it was too weird to tell her the truth. What do you have to lose? he asked himself. “I don’t mind you asking,” he said. “Because the answer is you.”
Merry started to laugh, then she cocked her head.
“Wait, what?” she asked. “Me? You’re standing on Fifth Avenue in the cold and the rain waiting for me?”
Christian nodded, his pulse racing like the engines of the taxis that roared past.
“Why?” she asked, as if it was the most unbelievable thing in the world that anyone would want to see her. She was shivering, raindrops dripping from her hood, and all he wanted to do was pull her close, hold her tight. The only trouble with that was he was soaked to the bone, and shivering just as hard—well, that and the fact that the last thing she would probably want was a hug from the man who had humiliated her earlier.
“I just…” he started. “I just wanted to see you.”
“You did?” she asked, her expression still puzzled. Maybe she didn’t want to see him. Maybe this was a huge mistake.
“Um,” he went on, clearing his throat. “To apologize again. That’s all. I really am sorry about earlier.”
“Oh,” she said. “Sure, it’s really nothing. I’ve forgotten it already. Hey, you got off lightly. Mrs. Cradley told me that Lewis Carroll had forced her to drop the whole thing.”
Christian shrugged.
“I’m a lucky guy,” he said, and he almost added Lucky that I found you tonight, but he didn’t have the courage to say it.
“So why are you waiting out here?” she asked after a moment, her green eyes shining bright in the streetlight. “I mean, wouldn’t it have been better to wait in the warm?”
“Uh…” What was it about her that made it so difficult to speak like a human being? “I mean, yeah, that probably would have been a better idea.”
To his relief, she laughed, covering it with the tips of her fingers. She shuddered in another blast of cold air, wrapping her coat around her.
“Look, can I make it up to you?” Christian asked. “A hot chocolate? Extra cream? Chocolate sprinkles?”
The corner of her mouth started to rise, but the smile vanished as quickly as it had appeared. She looked away, and there was obviously something weighing heavily on her mind.
“Or not,” he blurted out. “Another time, maybe. Sorry.”
“It’s not…” Merry started, finally looking at him. “I mean, I don’t really know what you want.”
The statement took him by surprise. He stood back as another surge of people exited the store and walked between them.
“I like you, Merry,” he said when they had passed by. “I know I behaved like an idiot earlier, but I did it because I didn’t want to see you get hurt. I really am sorry. I had an amazing time with you yesterday, and today, earlier… I thought there was something there. I might have been wrong, and I apologize if I misread the signals, but I thought you felt it too.”
You’ve said too much! he yelled at himself. You’re going to scare her away!
And he was, he could see it in her expression, in the way it looked like she was chewing on something unpleasant. More bitter wind tore up Fifth Avenue. A taxi horn blared and somebody yelled back at the top of their voice.
“Can we talk about this another time?” said Merry, smudging rainwater from her face. “Or at least another place?”
“Sure,” said Christian. “Any time, and any place. Hot chocolates are my treat.”
Merry nodded, hesitating.
“I’m too exhausted to go out,” she said. “Today has been a long day. But maybe… Do you want to walk me home? We can talk on the way.”
“I can do that,” Christian said, smiling. He stuck out his arm, and after a moment’s pause Merry slid her arm through it. He pulled her close and they started walking, the crowds making it difficult to keep to a straight line.
“I don’t have an umbrella,” she said, pulling the hood tighter over her head. “I think somebody stole it from the locker room.”
“I can’t help, I’m afraid,” Christian said. “I don’t think I’ve ever owned one. Where do you live?”
“Oh,” she shook her head. “Astoria, but it’s only temporary. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay, but it’s not exactly living the dream.”
“Hey, Queens is cool these days, isn’t it?” Christian said. He could feel her shuddering against him. “You take the subway?”
She nodded.
“But you don’t have to come all the way, obviously, just to the station, if you like.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” he said, breaking away from her and flagging down a taxi. It pulled over straight away, but Merry yanked on his sleeve.
“Don’t be crazy,” she said. “You can’t afford that.”
If only you knew, he thought. He opened the door.
“Astoria,” he said to the driver, then he looked back at Merry. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got a bit of money saved away, and the sad truth is I don’t even have anyone to spend it on this Christmas. Let me do this. It’s awful outside, you’ll catch your death out here.”
Merry thought about it for all of three seconds, then she nodded. He let her in first, then he climbed in after her.
“12th Street, please,” Merry said.
The driver had the heating up full and a blast of warm air flooded over Christian, so much of it that he had to unzip his coat. Even though there was plenty of space on the back seat Merry leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder for a second.
“Thank you,” she said when she had lifted it. “That’s really kind of you. You didn’t have to do it, it’s going to cost a fortune. Probably more than you’ve earned all day.”
“The only other option was swimming home,” he said as the rain drummed against the windows. “And I wanted to do something nice for you. You’ve had a rotten day, and that’s partly my fault. I know what it’s like, when you’ve spent hours working, you’re cold and wet and exhausted, and you’ve still got the long journey home. It’s nice, just once, to ride in style.” He laughed. “Well, you know, in a slightly gross New York cab anyway.”
“Hey!” yelled the driver. Merry smiled.
“You really are a knight in shining armor,” she said, looking him up and down. “Soggy armor, anyway.”
They rode in silence for a while, zigzagging through the east side. Merry leaned against him again, her head a comforting weight on his shoulder. It felt like the most natural thing in the world for him to put his arm over her shoulder, and she made no move to shrug him away. She watched the city through the window, the streets glowing with Christmas lights, the store windows full of pine trees and skis, tinsel and baubles and jolly looking Santas. He watched her, marveling at her flawless face, her mesmerizing eyes, the way her bottom lip occasionally shivered despite the heat.
By the time they hit the bridge, she was asleep in his arms. He held her close, and held her tight, until ten minutes later they pulled up on a rough-looking street with a church on one side and apartment buildings on the other.
“That’s forty-two bucks, buddy,” said the driver, and Christian eased his hand into his pocket,
pulling out his wallet. He was grateful that Merry was still asleep, because the wad of hundreds he had in there would have given him away instantly. He slipped one to the driver.
“You can keep the change,” he said. He leaned in to Merry, who was drooling a little on his sleeve. “Hey,” he whispered. “Merry, we’re here.”
Merry laughed, taking the present that Christian had offered her. They were sitting on a thick, carpeted floor next to a roaring log fire, and it was so hot that Christian had unbuttoned his shirt. His skin glistened, and she caught sight of the muscles beneath the thin material. He leaned in, his lips parting for a kiss…
“Merry,” he said, his voice strangely distant. “Merry, we’re here.”
What?
The scene started to dissolve, Christian fading into nothing. She sat up, her neck cricking painfully. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and when she did she felt a powerful wave of embarrassment.
“Oh no,” she said, looking up at Christian. “Did I fall asleep? I feel asleep.”
She wiped her mouth, feeling the moisture and seeing where she had left a patch of drool on his sleeve.
“Oh no, I drooled on you. I’m so sorry.”
“No worries,” he said, laughing. “The jacket is waterproof.”
“Oh no,” she said again. “This is the very worst thing ever. I can officially never see you again.”
Christian opened the door, stepping out of the car and offering her his hand.
“I was going to carry you up,” he said, helping her out. “But I don’t know which one is yours, and I didn’t fancy knocking on doors.”
The rain had eased off, but the evening was still bitterly cold. Merry yawned into her hand, nodding up the street.
“I’m just over there,” she said. “I don’t mind if you want to head off, I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I’ll walk you to your door,” said Christian. “It’s no trouble.” He ducked his head through the taxi door. “Give me five, yeah? I’ll ride back into the city.”
“Are you sure?” Merry said. She felt terrible that he’d have to pay for the journey twice. She’d completely missed how much it cost, but it can’t have been cheap.
“I am,” he said.
Merry led him down the street and up a flight of steps to a low building. The front door opened reluctantly, the lobby lit by a flickering bulb. The building was run down, but it wasn’t awful. There was no graffiti, and it smelled a hell of a lot better than some of the places she’d looked at in her hunt for an apartment. All the same, she wished she had something better to show for her life of work. She walked to her apartment and unlocked it, kicking the stubborn door open and trying to remember if she’d had time to tidy up before she left that morning.
The answer was a resounding no, and she slapped a hand to her head as she flicked on the light.
“You should see my place,” said Christian, hovering at the door. “It’s like a tornado has blitzed through.”
“I doubt that very much,” she said, taking off her coat and hanging it up. Her attention was momentarily distracted by the notice board she kept by the front door. It was littered with official letters, all of them demanding money, some of them with Final Notice! plastered along the top in big, red letters. She turned to Christian and caught him studying them. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it, and looked at her.
It took her breath away. He was so handsome it was almost unreal, like he had stepped out of the pages of a fashion catalogue. His eyes were such a rich shade of brown that they made her feel warm all over, despite the chill in the air. He smiled at her, and once again she felt that magnetic attraction, a tractor-beam pull that made her lift her hand to his face before she even knew what she was doing. She rested it against his cold cheek and he nuzzled her gently.
“This is…” he started. “I don’t know what this is. I’ve never felt it before.”
“It’s not real,” she whispered. “It can’t be real.”
She pulled her hand away and took a step back. Her heart was like a battle drum, her whole body singing. Even though Christian stood in front of her, she thought of Adrian—she thought of the way she’d caught him kissing his assistant, the way he’d lied about everything, the way he’d made her feel like it was her fault. Her heart had snapped clean in two that day, and when it had healed it had done so with a big, ugly scar across the middle. If she gave herself to Christian, she knew, then one day it would break all over again.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“I still don’t know what you want with me,” she said. “Why are you being so nice?”
“Because I…” he hesitated. “I like you, Merry. I want the chance to prove to you how much I like you.”
“But why?” she said. “What’s the point?”
He frowned, confused.
“You’re leaving,” she said. “Harvey told me your job is only temporary, and that you’re going back to the Philippines.”
“Oh,” he said, shaking his head. “Right.”
“Is it true?” she asked, trying to fit the words past the lump that was growing in her throat. “Are you going?”
“I don’t know yet,” he said, and she felt the wound of her heart start to tear again. Christian took a breath. “I mean yes, I’ll have to go back for a while, but I didn’t think I was going to—”
“Please,” she interrupted, the sadness a physical pressure inside her. “It’s not my place to ask, I’m sorry.”
He started to protest but she held up her hand.
“It’s late,” she said. “I can’t thank you enough for getting me home. It’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. I’m sorry you have to ride all the way back to the city. I’ll see you at work, right?”
Christian nodded, offering her another warm, honest smile. There was something different about his eyes, though, as if some of the warmth and happiness had been sucked away.
“I’ll see you at work,” he said. “Go get warm, get some rest. Goodnight, Merry.”
He looked at her for a moment longer, then turned and walked across the lobby. Merry watched him go, wishing with all her heart that she could call him back, wishing with all her heart that she could make him stay.
But her heart was a broken thing, and all she could do was close the door.
11
Merry slouched through the toy department, too tired to even glance at Santa. She was late again, and once more it had nothing to do with traffic and everything to do with a tall, dark stranger. Even though Christian had left her apartment after dropping her off, he had stayed inside her head all night. The brief moments of sleep she’d managed to snatch had been full of restless dreams, mostly of Christian, but also of Adrian and his new fiancé. They had all tormented her, pointing out her weaknesses, her faults, her bad decisions, and she had woken up that morning with a dark cloud over her head—one that perfectly matched the heavy skies.
As she reached the staff area door, it started to open. Two girls that Merry half knew from the store floor walked out, and when they saw her they burst into giggles. Merry frowned, watching them go and suddenly worried. Had she forgotten to put on pants? Or was there jam on her face from her toast that morning? She patted herself down as she walked into the corridor, but everything seemed to be where it was supposed to be.
Another girl walked past, her cheeks reddening and her mouth curling into a smile as she peeked at Merry. Then a guy passed her, and he too was smirking like she was the butt of some joke.
“What?” Merry said to his back, but her words were too quiet for him to hear. Maybe I’m still dreaming, she thought. It certainly felt like one of those nightmares where everybody stares at you. Ahead, the locker room door opened and Alice skipped out, doing her hair as she went. Her eyes widened when she saw Merry, and she pulled the hairpin from between her lips.
“Oh my,” she said, pinning her hair back. “You’re
here.”
“What’s going on?” Merry asked. “I feel like I’ve got, like, a teapot growing out of my head or something.”
“Better than that,” said Alice, taking Merry’s arm and leading her into the locker room. “We’ve all been trying to guess. Who is it?”
Who is what? she wanted to ask, but she suddenly forgot how to speak. The large locker room looked exactly the way it had yesterday: lockers down each side for the staff to put their belongings, benches lined up down the middle, a door that led to the restrooms and showers. The only thing that was different was that sitting on one of the benches was a bouquet of white, pink, and red roses. She could smell them from here, a light, intoxicating fragrance that made her feel week at the knees.
“What are they?” she asked Alice. “Who are they for?”
“Don’t play the innocent,” Alice said. “They’re for you!”
Merry frowned. That was impossible. In her whole life, she had only ever been bought flowers twice. The first time was when she was a teenager and her cat had died. Her grammy had picked her a bunch of lavender to help her feel better. The second time was a week or so after she’d caught Adrian kissing his assistant. He’d sent a huge bunch of red roses to her apartment with a groveling note of apology. Seeing flowers here, now, made Merry feel uneasy, and she wondered whether she should just walk away. What if these were from her ex too?
But what if they weren’t?
“Go on!” Alice said, almost screaming. “I can’t wait any longer!”
She gave Merry a gentle nudge and Merry walked reluctantly to the bench. The flowers really were beautiful. The ones that Adrian had given her were obviously from the filling station, and they’d wilted before the end of the day. But these roses were full and proud and shiny. They must have cost a fortune. Nestled amongst the leaves was a little envelope, her name written on the front in beautiful calligraphy. Merry looked at Alice and Alice urged her on.
“If you don’t,” her friend said. “I will.”
“Oh fine,” Merry said. She plucked the envelope free and opened it, slipping out the little card inside. On the front was a beautiful painting of a couple walking down a Paris street in the rain. She could feel the frantic beat of her pulse in her fingertips as she opened the card. All that was written inside was:
My Christmas Billionaire Page 8
