by KC Kean
My body feels like every inch is covered in goosebumps as my heart feels on the verge of beating out of my chest. I bite my tongue, forcing the tears back, not wanting my emotions to get the better of me in public.
The tutor refers us to our digital textbooks, and I fumble to set up my tablet. I can feel a blush creeping up my neck as Aiden doesn’t move a muscle. If anything, he only gets closer.
“I know you feel that too,” he whispers, and my eyes instantly snap to his. Fuck, I have no restraint.
“I never said I didn’t, Aid. And I know you guys are saying something about two months, but I would rather push on with the heartache I’m feeling right now than start all over again further down the line. I was stupid to think it would ever work.”
His hand tightens on my thigh as his grey eyes darken.
“You are not stupid, and nothing is stopping this from working, not really. You just need to believe in us enough to see the future the rest of us can picture clearly.”
“You seem to be forgetting all the things that don’t make it as simple as that,” I mumble back, struggling to remember my reasoning.
“Jess, we are going out of our minds. Yes, I said we, not just me. This is an all of us kind of thing, and we know that. We just need you to remember that too.” He sighs, looking down at where we’re touching. “I can give you space, beautiful, but radio silence from you is breaking my heart. I know you went through a hell of an ordeal, but we were right there with you trying to get you back.”
My breathing stutters at his words, remembering what Luna said about them being one step behind me the whole way. I never really considered what that would be like for Aiden because, like me, he isn’t trained for that kind of situation.
“I—”
“I can see guilt in your eyes, and I don’t want that. Seeing you with him blackened my soul, Jess, but I still seemed to understand where your mind was at.” Keeping his hand on my thigh, he raises his other hand to cup my cheek. “I just need you to understand that I was wracked with fear for your safety when you were taken, and I know you’re back and safe, but my heart and soul want to be right there protecting you too. Because you are mine, Jess.”
I can’t breathe, I… I just…
The bell sounds, shattering our moment and a tiny whimper passes my lips. I watch as sadness fills Aiden’s eyes before he leans in and places a tender kiss on my forehead.
“Forever and always.”
Jess
“Are you okay, Red?”
I blink out of my daze, lifting my gaze to Luna. I notice the slight crinkle at the corner of her eyes as I drop my fork to the plate. I wasn’t eating anyway.
Luna sits across from me, at the end of the table, with Roman beside her and Oscar further down the bench. While Parker sits beside me, and Kai next to him. Just like the first day they joined us at the table. We never sit any other way.
“I’m fine. Just— not that hungry,” I murmur, trying to offer a smile in response, but my mind is still focused on Aiden.
Forever and always.
God, my heart burns for those words to be true. My body screamed to fall into his touch and pretend my world wasn’t shattering around me. But I have to be realistic. As amazing as it would be to believe everything would be okay, I know my mother better than these guys do. They don’t know what she’s capable of.
“If this is about Science, I’d say I’m sorry, but really… I’m not.” Oscar glances at me while stuffing his mouth with pizza, and I can’t even bring myself to be mad at him.
I’m more shocked than anything. He literally started fighting with Maverick when he saw us. Now he’s forcing me to sit with Aiden. When I can bring myself to ask him what suddenly changed, I will, but for now, I need to try and build a cage around my heart before I have to see Maverick at Combat.
“I thought we agreed we weren’t going to push yet?” Parker asks quietly, and I raise my eyebrow at him. He swallows hard as guilt flashes in his eyes, and he looks to the others for help.
“No, no. Please, Parker, continue. Tell me all about when you planned on pushing me instead?” My voice is calm because I’m not mad, but it’s highly irritating that they’re discussing things behind my back.
“You helped make Luna see us being together wasn’t the end of the world. We’re repaying the favor.” Cutting my gaze to Roman, I tap my fingers on the table, definitely ready to get the hell out of the dining hall.
“I appreciate the thought, but this is completely different.” Pushing my plate away, I stand, grabbing my bag at my feet, ready to leave when Kai speaks up.
“How?”
Biting my lip, I try to count to ten, but I find my patience has completely gone since every fucker at the table seems to want to have their say.
“I don’t have to discuss this with any of you. I’d actually prefer it if you backed off.” I feel like a petulant child, desperately wanting to stamp my foot as I try to stand firm with them.
“What’s wrong, Jess? It seems like we’re irritating you because you don’t like what we’re saying. And I think that’s because you know we’re right.” Oscar relaxes back in his chair, a smug as shit grin on his face, and I want to claw it off his face.
“Too far, Oscar,” Luna whispers, rising to her feet and nodding towards the door.
Happy to follow her lead, I can’t stop myself from giving the Aces a one-finger salute before I do. Linking her arm through mine, she instantly mutters an apology, and I squeeze her arm in response.
I don’t want her to apologize. I know I’m being a cranky bitch, but I don’t want to be helped. I know what I’m doing.
Leaving the dining hall, I feel eyes on us, as always. Wherever Luna goes, people always stare. I need some of her badass aura she has going on.
Ian stands by the Rolls Royce, door open and ready, as I hold my blazer closer to my chest, the cool air biting at the exposed skin this stupid fucking uniform leaves open.
As soon as the door shuts behind Luna, I know she’s going to carry the conversation on. A sigh passes my lips before I can refrain myself.
“They have a point, you know.”
“Do they?” I ask, not meeting her gaze as I rub my arms to warm up.
“You know they do, which is why you don’t want to hear it. I can understand that. We can give you some space, but I think we’ve all realized how our actions affected your openness with us, and I don’t want there to be any secrets. I saw the emotions on your face last night, Red.”
Shit. “I’m not denying how I feel, and there aren’t any more secrets, Luna, but you guys don’t understand how my mother always gets exactly what she wants.”
“Your bitch of a mother has never gone up against me before.” The pointed look she gives me keeps me silent, not wanting to argue with her. She’s not wrong though, Lucienda would not like Luna one bit. All her willpower and strength would make her uneasy.
“Have you spoken to Maverick since last night?” She asks, thankfully changing the subject, and I shake my head. “Was it hard with Aiden?”
“There are no words,” I whisper, letting her see the pain in my eyes I’ve been masking, and she offers me a sad smile with a squeeze of my hand.
“And I’m assuming Aiden is a little more aware of your feelings and boundaries.”
Her assessment makes me snicker. She isn’t wrong there. “Maverick will bulldoze me until I see his side of things, where Aiden gives me the space to find my own path, and West guides me.”
The words slip past my lips before my filter kicks in, but she smiles wider at my admission.
The car comes to a stop outside of Combat, and I take a deep breath, steeling my spine, ready for the tension I know will come when I see Maverick.
Slipping from the car, Luna links her arm with mine again, as if she’s only certain I’m there if she’s touching me. We don’t wait for the Aces, heading straight for the changing room instead.
Taking my spot in the opposite corner to wher
e the other girls are, I do my best to shield my bruises as I change. My black leggings and peach oversized t-shirt cover me as best as possible, and I slip thick socks over my feet, appreciating the comfort on my sore feet compared to the heels.
“You know he’s going to agree with me and not let you train, right?” Luna says, rolling her eyes at me.
“Surely, now, more than ever, I need to be training as much as possible. I never want to end up in a situation like that again.”
Luna doesn’t respond. We had the same argument this morning, and after yesterday I knew I had to get back to these classes. I refuse to let everyone treat me like porcelain. If I want to rise above this, I need to be stronger. I survived. I can’t bring myself to think about what I had to do, but I did survive.
Walking side by side, we head for the hall with everyone else. My eyes instantly fall to Reece, standing by the door as we approach, his glare burning into my face, unfazed by Luna’s laser glare in response.
“Do you want me to step in if Maverick gets to be too much?” Luna asks, refusing to acknowledge Reece. She’s clearly familiar with Maverick, but I shake my head.
“I can handle him.”
She raises her eyebrow at me, and the second we step onto the mats, a growl vibrates throughout the room.
“No! Hell fucking no. Forget it. Get the fuck out of here. You are not fighting in your condition, Jessica.”
Luna pats my back as she makes her way over to the bleachers where the Aces are. “Good luck with that,” she calls over her shoulder, a grin on her face, and I clench my fists at my side.
The only reason she isn’t screaming back at him right now is that she agrees with what he’s saying.
Turning to face Maverick, I’m surprised to find him mere steps away.
“You’re not training, Jessica. You’re still injured.” At least he isn’t shouting now. Enough people are already staring. I don’t need to add to the gossip.
“Is an attacker going to worry about the state I’m in?” I argue back, standing my ground, and he rubs the back of his neck.
Taking a closer look at him, my pulse quickens. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Dark circles under his eyes and stress lines mark his forehead.
“I don’t give a shit about that right now. You are not training.” His words come much harsher this time, but I refuse to back down.
“This is bullshit, Maverick.” My anger doesn’t seem to increase his. If anything, his shoulders relax a little. “If you won’t let me train here, I’ll find—”
“Like fuck you will,” he spits out, his arms dropping to his sides.
“We don’t need to make a scene, Maverick. Just let me train.”
The frown on his face as he glares at me makes me pause. “Make a scene? Make a scene? I saw you for the first time last night since I washed away the blood, the dirt, the pain.” He whispers, his words drifting off as he takes a deep breath. He places his hands on his waist as he looks down at his feet. His eyes slowly making their way back to mine. “For you to turn your back and walk away all over again.”
His words cut my soul to shreds. I hate being the cause of his pain. If I’m honest, I’m surprised he’s showing so much emotion right now.
“Maverick...I—”
“Don’t bore me with your fucking fake apologies. My office. Now.”
His vulnerability is locked down, almost like he never offered me a glimpse, and that outweighs my determination to train today. I notice the surprise in his eyes as I nod and turn back to walk back where I came from without argument.
I’m a total sucker for my own punishment, but Aiden’s words and touch from earlier have only weakened my defenses.
Maverick
Holy fucking shit.
I watch her leave, clenching my fists at my side as I force myself not to race after her. I can feel every pair of eyes in here looking at me right now, and I know Jessica will hate any additional gossip if I make a bigger scene than I already have.
Turning to face the room, I don’t meet anyone’s gaze as I give out orders. “What the fuck are you all looking at? Five laps. Go.”
Most mumble their complaints, but everyone stands up to do as I say. Luna walks straight over to me, and if she starts saying I can’t go to Jessica, I might explode. I don’t need anyone meddling in this shit. It’s bad enough as it is.
“Jess thinks she’s doing the right thing, you know.” I continue to stare her down, feeling the Aces approaching as I say nothing, waiting for her to continue. “She’s adamant it isn’t as simple as keeping Reece quiet, and she’d rather continue with the heartache she feels now than get lost in you all more to only cause herself more pain later.”
Sighing, I nod, acknowledging her words. At least I know what her argument will be when I go in there.
“She was reluctant with Aiden this morning, but whatever he said got under her skin, and she’s been quiet ever since. Last night made a difference,” Oscar murmurs, making me frown as I glance in his direction.
“What happened with Aiden this morning?”
“Nothing much, but I gave him my seat in Science. She needs pushing out of this little bubble she’s trying to make for herself.”
That’s why Aiden’s been hitting my phone up non-stop. There are over twenty messages in the group chat, but I couldn’t bring myself to look in case it was bad news since I knew West was fine.
“And why are you suddenly so willing to push her?” I grunt, confused that I still have bruising on my temple from this fucker, yet he’s suddenly trying to help.
“Because she helped us when we needed to bring Luna back to us,” Roman adds. That sounds just like her, wanting to make everyone happy while letting herself live in misery. “And we may finally have opened our eyes to see how much you all mean to Jess.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, not denying that I need their help. “If I’m not back by the time the laps are done, pair everyone off and let them beat the shit out of each other. And make sure Reece is with Connor. He’ll ruin him.”
Oscar grins as he nods in agreement.
“Don’t make her cry,” Parker throws in, making me pause because I can’t promise that. It’s never my intention, but she needs to open her eyes.
Turning for the exit, I’m almost at the door when Oscar calls out. “So, how old are you again? I forgot.”
“Fuck you,” I yell, not even bothering to turn around.
The second I see my office door, my steps falter as I try to gain control. Everything they just said means nothing when I know my girl is in there, likely preparing herself to push me away, when all I need is her to make my pain go away.
Stopping in the doorway, I lean against the frame as I watch her pace in front of my window. Shaking her hands out, I can tell she’s ready for me to come in like a mad man, and I really want to, but I’m learning that it isn’t always the right approach with my petal.
“Hey.”
Her head whips around, the sparkle of surprise in her eyes as she sees me watching her quietly, and she just gapes at me for a moment. I love feeling her eyes on me. Any doubt I had of what this is, or what my feelings are, went out of the window the moment her life was put on the line.
“Hey,” she responds cautiously.
Stepping into the room, I close the door behind me, clicking the lock into place. I don’t miss the gulp she swallows as her eyes flicker between mine and the lock.
“Is this okay? I just don’t want us to be interrupted, but you can leave at any time, or I can leave it open,” I ramble, not wanting to put her mind back at that warehouse, trapped in that room.
“N-No, it’s okay.” She takes a deep breath, her gaze settling on mine. “I know I’m safe in here, with you. It just takes a moment for me to remember that.”
Approaching her slowly, I feel her eyes track my every movement as she stands frozen in place. Standing toe to toe, I cup her cheek, tilting her face to mine.
“How have you been?”
The crinkle in between her eyes looks too fucking cute for the seriousness that surrounds us right now.
“Who the hell are you, and what have you done to my Maverick Miller?” She asks, catching me off guard as I stare down at her.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, not missing the fact she said my Maverick.
Her hands lift to my chest, my heart pounding beneath her touch as she continues to examine my eyes like she’s looking for a clue.
“It means my Maverick would storm in here, slam the fucking door, and demand I give in to his ways before saying something that completely irritates me, leaving me storming from the room.”
Well. That’s quite the assessment.
“You want me to act like that? Because I’m working really hard to hold myself back and be considerate.”
“Yes. No. I-I don’t know. I need to go.” She drops her hands from me like the connection burns her, but I bring my other hand to her waist, holding her in place before she can move out of my grasp.
Running my thumb along her bottom lip, her breath stutters, and I grin down at her. Her nipples are hard beneath her loose t-shirt, and the classic blush is creeping up her neck.
“You forgot the fucking,” I whisper, bringing my lips dangerously close to hers.
“W-What?”
“I would usually storm in here, slam the fucking door, demand you see my way, fuck you senseless, then say something to piss you off and have you running from the room.” Her chest rises and falls rapidly. “That’s what your Maverick would do.”
“Shit.” The words play on her lips, barely a whisper, but the effect I have on her only proves how forcing us apart doesn’t work for anyone involved.
Rising up on her tiptoes, she crashes her lips to mine, and it takes a second for my brain to catch up. Wrapping her arms around my neck, Jessica holds me closer, bringing our bodies chest to chest.
I try to keep my touch gentle, but she’s so intoxicating it’s not easy. Her tongue swipes against my lips, wanting more from me, and I can’t say no. Opening my mouth, I give her control, letting her explore.
