by KC Kean
Distance, Jess. We needed a minute. I repeat, but the words don’t seem to stick the same way they did before I left. Sighing, I focus on the here and now.
I love this room Juliana saved for me. A huge California king fills a lot of the space, a stunning vanity set up has the perfect lighting from the floor-length windows, and with the access to my en-suite and walk-in closet, it’s bigger than the room I had back at Diamond. Everything is silver, sparkly, and grey. Perfect.
Quickly dressing in the deep purple fleecy joggers and sweater, I put my hair in a messy bun at the top of my head, grab my phone, and make my way to the kitchen. I need coffee if I want any chance of making it through the next hour, never mind the whole day.
“Merry Christmas.”
Juliana stands before me, a smoothie in her outstretched hand as she smiles at me fresh as a daisy. She was drinking too last night. How am I the only one in this state?
“Merry Christmas,” I mumble in response, accepting the smoothie and taking a sip.
“You’ll want to drink it quickly because it’ll do wonders for your hangover.”
I raise my eyebrow at her, but I do as she says. I am focusing all of my energy on not being sick. I have no idea what’s in here, but it’s green, so I don’t want to ask. It doesn’t taste awful, but it’s definitely not the cup of coffee I was hoping to get.
“Everyone is waiting in the den if you’re ready to go in.”
“Hmm, I would be ready if I had a coffee to take—”
I’m cut off by the mug placed in front of me. Steam drifts from the top as the smell of coffee calls to me like a moth to a flame. I swap my smoothie for the goodness, only leaving the smallest bit, before following Juliana into the other room.
The huge U-shaped sectional is perfect for all of us. Rafe and Bryce sit to the left, and Juliana joins them. While Luna sits dead center, Parker and Roman to her left, and Oscar and Kai to her right. I smile as politely as possible at everyone as I take a seat to the right, beside Mia.
“Where were you last night? You missed girl time and lots of wine.”
“So I’ve heard,” she responds with a grin. “But I was having a meal in the city with my parents.” I nod in response, not questioning why Kai didn’t go with her. From what I can tell, it’s all still a difficult time for them, but I’m sure he’ll reconnect if that’s what he wants to do.
“Presents!” Oscar shouts as he claps his hands to gain everyone’s attention. Nobody disagrees, and that’s when I realize all the gifts we had put under the tree are now mostly covering the coffee table unless they’re too big, then they were placed off to the side.
As everyone starts finding their gifts to hand out, I send a quick text to the WAM group chat.
Me: Merry Christmas. I miss you.
I quickly add a picture of the presents under the tree to go with it.
My heart aches, but at least I know I want to be with them, even if I have ended up causing myself sadness today. When I get back, things can be different.
Placing my phone on the sofa, I join the others, finding one of the presents I’ve bought.
“Red, I have your gift here from me,” Luna calls out, and I decide to grab hers too.
“I want to watch this because you two are just funny,” Parker says with a smile, pulling Luna into his lap as we exchange envelopes.
I glance from Luna to Parker, to the envelope, and proceed to open it. Slowly pulling the card out, I grin as I read the words.
“No fucking way,” Luna laughs.
“A tattoo of my choice whenever I’m ready, huh?” I ask, turning the card around so everyone can see.
“No, I take that back. Your card says of my choosing.”
“Like you two won’t pick the same damn thing anyway,” Parker interjects, brushing his lips against Luna’s temple. “I’m proud of myself for keeping your gifts for each other a secret.” He smiles wide, his gaze flicking excitedly between the two of us, but neither of us gives him any credit.
Instead, I focus on the cards. Side by side, they are perfectly the same, showing our friendship.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, JESS. THIS IS A VOUCHER FOR YOU TO FINALLY GET A TATTOO OF YOUR CHOOSING WHENEVER YOU ARE READY. LOTS OF LOVE, LUNA
MERRY CHRISTMAS, LUNA. I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO LET YOU MARK MY SKIN WITH ONE OF YOUR AWESOME DESIGNS. LOTS OF LOVE, JESS
It makes me smile that it’s written out to Jess too. I’m slowly gluing Red and Jess together, striving to always be the stronger version of myself.
Making myself present in what’s going on around me, I stand beside the coffee table as everyone continues to hand gifts out amongst themselves. Juliana points at a huge box, which reveals every possible product from Sephora.
“Ju-Ju, thank you so much. I love all of it.” Lifting my gaze to hers, I stall as I take her in.
Her long fingers are raised to her mouth, shaking as her eyes fill with tears. I watch as her eyes scan the frame I had made for her, and my heart starts to beat rapidly in my chest, worried she hates it.
Juliana finally brings her eyes to mine, and I’m surprised as a sob passes her lips. In a flash, she stands from the sofa, enveloping me in her arms.
“I love it, Jess. Thank you so, so much.”
“It’s honestly nothing,” I mutter, pleased she liked it.
“It’s everything.” Keeping her arm around my shoulder, she glances down at the frame again.
Thank you for being you, for clearing a path for me to find myself.
Knowing you care makes me feel safe. A feeling I haven’t felt until now.
I never truly knew the touch of a mother until you held me for the first time.
Thank you for building me up instead of tearing me down.
I am fortunate to know you and call you my guardian.
Without being my mother, you have shown me what it feels like to be loved by one.
I love you.
Printed on a thick card, with pretty floral detailing around the outside, I had it framed in a boxed memory case. The tickets we received on entry to the museum when we were last in New York sit at the bottom, with a photo of us from Luna’s ceremony.
“I hope we can continue to add memories to this,” Juliana whispers, and I squeeze her waist.
“I’d like that a lot,” I agree, happy she feels the same way.
“Jess, open my present,” Oscar calls out, gaining my attention, and Juliana releases her hold on me as she goes to show Rafe and Bryce my gift. Rafe mouths his thanks as he smiles at the picture I had blown up of him with Bryce and Luna at her ceremony.
Gifts are not my thing. I’ve never really had to buy them before, but I wanted everything to have purpose and meaning for everyone, to show them all how grateful I am.
“Jessikins,” Oscar gripes, pulling me from my thoughts, and I lean over the coffee table to take the box from his hands.
It’s heavier than I expect, so I place it on the table, ripping into the paper as I feel Oscar come to stand beside me. Under the wrapping paper is a black leather case, and I’m still none the wiser of what’s inside.
Glancing at Luna, she nods for me to open it, and I stare in shock at the content when I do. There, lined like beauty products, are six pink and bedazzled knives. What the?
“I hope you never have to use them, Jessikins, but you’re an Ace, and it’s like some unwritten rule for an Ace to have knives.” I stare at him in shock — the feeling of acceptance washing over me.
“Thank you so much, Ozzie.”
He pats my back, pleased with himself as I stare at them.
“No sweat. Besides, if you have them on display, it will remind those assholes you like not to fuck with you.”
I roll my eyes at him as Kai places a box in my hands. The noise and laughter in the room are almost overwhelming compared to what I’m used to, but I love it.
Pulling a silver bracelet from the box, Kai explains how it’s a tracking device as Luna takes it from my hand and wraps it aroun
d my wrist, pointing out that Kai has one similar too.
Repeating my thanks, I don’t think I’ve ever said thank you so much in such a short space of time. Luna pulls Oscar away to open his gift as Parker calls my name.
The smile on his face has me nervous, but he pats the sofa beside him and pulls out a box for me to open.
“I know I’m going to have gotten you the best gift. You don’t have to hurt everyone else’s feelings with that piece of information. But you’ll know, and I’ll know, alright?”
Taking the box from his hands, I rip the paper away, my eyes searching frantically at what is in my hands.
“Oh my fucking god!” I squeal, throwing my arm around his shoulders. “How the hell did you even—” There are no words. I can’t finish my sentence as I stare down at a signed photograph of Damon, aka Ian Somerhalder. I’m about dead.
“I told you I did awesome,” Parker responds.
“You did. Let me get the presents for you guys.”
Standing from the sofa, the photo still in hand, I place it down beside my phone as I move towards the two large boxes leaning against the far wall because they would definitely not fit on the coffee table.
I watch as Oscar dances in delight at the original Pac-Man machine Luna bought him for Christmas, and the happiness on her face as she watches him lights up the room.
“Mia, I have your gift,” Luna says with a smile. I know she’s about to go down memory lane with her because Rafe had kept the friendship bracelets they had made as children, so I call the Aces over.
“Merry Christmas,” I say with a smile as I shake my hands in the direction of the boxes.
Parker and Kai strip the paper from the first gift, and a stunning canvas photo of the four of them with Luna on their ceremony day stands before us. They all look care-free and blissfully happy, a complete contrast to the guys I was too afraid to even glance at back in high school.
The photo shows the happiness we all felt that day before it was flipped upside down, becoming the worst day of my life.
They all smile and murmur their thanks as Oscar rips into the other huge box. I stand, silently waiting for his reaction, and it doesn’t disappoint.
“You did not,” he laughs, reaching into the box. “Bags-of-dicks? What even is this?” He asks, pulling out cock-shaped sweets and throwing them at Kai while Roman pulls out a large bag of dick-shaped pasta.
“You’re fucking crazy,” Roman says with a grin as he pulls out chocolate willies and candy cocks.
“Is that a pancake machine that makes them in the shape of dicks?” Kai asks, laughing as he looks inside too.
“I just wanted you to all know that you’re a bunch of dicks,” I sing.
“Edible ones,” Luna adds as she comes to stand beside me, and everyone laughs.
A knock sounds at the door, and I frown in confusion, as does Luna. Roman glances at his phone and grins.
“That will be two gifts being delivered right on time.” Who the hell has he got to deliver presents on Christmas day? Everyone watches as he races to the door. “I just want it known that I heard Parker say he got you the best gift, but I expect that to be rescinded, Jess,” Roman says with a pointed look, and I continue to stare at him in confusion.
“Also, Luna, we love you, like a lot, but you are the hardest person to buy gifts for, so we got you something special from all of us,” Parker says, wrapping his arms around her from behind as we watch the door.
Roman cracks the door open the smallest bit, murmuring to whoever is on the other side.
“Are you ready, Luna?” He asks, and she nods eagerly as he opens the door a touch more and a little puppy comes bouncing in the room.
“Oh my god!” I gasp, watching as Luna’s eyes widen, and she drops to her knees, the chocolate brown puppy instantly charging towards her like it knows where it’s supposed to go.
“Do you like him?” Kai asks quietly, and Luna nods enthusiastically.
“I love him so much,” she whispers in awe, hugging the baby Labrador to her chest. Emotion shines in her eyes as something else cements their relationship, solidifying them together.
She deserves this, their love, their hopes, and a future.
“Are you ready for your gifts, Jess?” Roman calls from the door, and I stare at him with wide-eyes.
“I don’t know. Is it going to distract me from wanting to steal the puppy?” I respond playfully, and he just smiles wide, letting the door fall open.
In slow motion, my surprise comes into view, and my feet are moving before my brain can even keep up.
West, Aiden, and Maverick are standing in the doorway.
My heart feels like it’s in my throat as I race to get to them. Aiden is the first to step forward, catching me as I throw myself at him.
Clinging to him like a monkey, he squeezes me back as I feel Maverick’s hand stroke the exposed skin at my back. Looking over Aiden’s shoulder, I see West hesitating, and I hate that he feels like that.
Lifting my right arm from Aiden, I hold it out, and West instantly joins the group hug. “Hey,” I murmur, my face in Aiden’s neck.
“Merry Christmas, beautiful.”
“Merry Christmas,” I respond, leaning back a little to see all of them. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“You are?” West asks, and I smile as my body relaxes.
“I am, although I’m a tiny bit hungover and super nauseous now I just ran like that,” I add.
Placing a kiss on my cheek, Aiden slowly puts me back on my feet. The second he does, Maverick swoops in, his arm firmly around my shoulders as he guides me back to the sofa.
Everyone greets each other, but I’m too lost in their arrival to pay enough attention to what is going on around me.
Taking a seat on the sofa, Maverick pulls me into his lap, and I go willingly.
“So you missed me, huh?” I roll my eyes at him as he holds me tight.
“You missed me first,” I throw back, and he simply shrugs his shoulder, not even trying to argue with me.
“Jess, here is our gift to you,” Rafe says, approaching us with a small box.
“Thank you.”
Remaining in Maverick’s lap, I peel into the box to find a mug. I instantly start to laugh at the unicorn on the front, sticking its fingers up and surrounded by a variety of swear words — Cuntchops, bitchtits, wankpot. The list goes on, and it’s hilarious. I’m definitely stealing some of these.
“I happened to use your mug at Luna’s,” Rafe explains, reminding me of the sassy unicorn mug I have there too. “Look inside.”
Peering inside the mug, I find a folded ticket.
THIS TICKET GRANTS MISS JESSICA WATSON A ONE-WEEK BREAK AT MI CASA BY THE SEA (OUR HOLIDAY HOME) TO READ BOOKS, DRINK COFFEE, AND HEAR THE OCEAN IN THE DISTANCE.
I glance at West first, remembering I told him about my vision of paradise, and he offers me a wink as Bryce continues to talk to him.
“Thank you so much, Rafe.”
“You’re welcome.”
Sinking into Maverick, I search the room, looking for Aiden, who looks like he’s saying something to wind Roman up, and it doesn’t surprise me.
My WAM has been here for mere minutes, and they’re already blending in like they’ve been here the whole time.
Maverick kisses my temple, making me melt into a puddle as another knock sounds at the door. I know what this one is. Luna sends a nervous glance my way, but I smile, knowing this will be important.
“Want to grab some food and open the presents I got for you back in my room?” I ask, rising from Maverick’s lap and holding my hand out. “I think they’re going to want some privacy.”
“Parker, I have a gift for you. It, uh, I—”
Luna is cut off by Roman opening the door, stopping the need for any explanation as a woman steps into the room.
“Mom.”
Parker stares in disbelief as his mother steps into the room. No longer needing to hide from his dead-prick of a f
ather.
“Let’s go,” I whisper, nodding for West and Aiden to follow too.
They need their privacy, and I’m desperate for some alone time with my guys.
All this sense of family and love, only draws me closer to them.
Maverick
The look in Jessica’s eyes when she saw us standing in the hall will forever be seared in my mind. They sparkled so blue I thought I was staring at the ocean, and the way she threw herself into Aiden’s arms tipped me over the edge.
The second he released her, she was mine, and I wasn’t letting go.
I hate Christmas. Ever since I was fifteen, I haven’t cared for any kind of celebration that involved family gatherings. It’s why I didn’t really kick up a fuss that I was away over Thanksgiving either. But seeing Jessica, surrounded by her newly created family, I want to bask in her light, her joy and excitement at everything happening around us.
I let her lace our fingers together and pull us down a hallway, away from all the emotion in the living room.
“I’ll grab the presents,” West murmurs, heading back to the main door as Aiden follows behind us.
I don’t think I have ever been more grateful for Roman in my entire life. I doubt I ever will be again. When my phone vibrated on the nightstand last night, I almost didn’t look. The only reason I did was in case it was Jessica, and it was almost better.
Roman: Someone is passed out drunk, and she is not as okay as she seems to let on. I know she wants you guys here.
Me: Why are you telling me this?
Roman: Because the jet will be there at 06:00. Be ready.
I’d messaged the suckers group chat lightning fast and then barely slept a wink. I was like a kid at Christmas, except my present was Jessica. I hadn’t pushed Roman to ask what he meant when he said she wasn’t as okay as she seemed to act. I wanted to understand it for myself.
I’d politely smiled at everyone as we entered, but the further away we got, the more I started to relax. Groups aren’t really my thing. Sharing like this with Aiden and West isn’t really my thing, but this just somehow seems to work.
Stepping into the last room on the right, I wrap my arms around my petal and haul her onto the bed beside me. The bouncing motion probably makes her stomach worse, but the crumpled sheets called out to me.
