~*~
“She called me a C-U-Next-Tuesday!” Reece huffs the words out, adamant not to repeat what Brooke called her on the way home from the store. Those two have hated each other since I came here five years ago, and I still don’t know why. Guess they’re natural born enemies.
“I’m not goin’, Link! Why would I want to go to a bonfire where that girl will be at? I’d rather have a nice evenin’ at home with y’all. We can watch a movie. Brooke is out for my blood and goin’ there will only give that bitch another chance to bully me. No thank you!” To make her point she drops down on one of the plush couches.
She’s more at home here than at her own home, but then so is anybody that comes here. Pastor Beasley is just that kind of person. Anybody is welcome to come and go as they please, and he is always available to lend a helping hand. The whole town knows they can turn to him whenever they need someone. He took me in without hesitation and no matter how dark my past, he hasn’t asked about it once. He only offered me his guidance and strength.
Link has been harping on going to this party for the past week and I don’t see him backing down now. Cole Trenton’s parents opened their theme park in Duncan for this party. Everyone who is everyone will be there. It’s perfect for a farewell get together before we all go our separate ways. Our senior year is over and it’s just another excuse to make out, and get drunk if you want my opinion. I’ve heard the rumors after every party about who did what with whom, and I’m in no hurry to see it for myself.
I hold my breath waiting for Link’s response. He clenches his jaw tightly, scowling down at Reece. When he fists his hands the movement catches my eyes.
“We hardly ever go to any parties. One time!” He holds up one finger, hulking over her with his lean body. Reece presses back into the couch, her eyes pretty much as wide as mine. “Fuck woman, stop thinkin’ of yourself and do this for me!”
My heart is slamming so hard against my ribs so I can only imagine how poor Reece must be feeling. My eyes jump between them, and then to the kitchen door. I wish Pastor Beasley was here, but he’s out with the newly married couples tonight.
“You don’t have to cuss, Link,” Reece whispers. They’ve been best friends since Link came to live here. This is the first time he’s ever raised his voice at Reece. “We’ll go get ready.” She shoves up from the couch and runs past me to my room. I watch Link’s shoulders drop and it’s times like this I have to wonder if there isn’t something more between them.
“I’ll go check on her,” I say, just to say something. I don’t have to get ready. Dressed in my jeans, black tank and navy sweater I won’t be changing and they know it. This is me and I wear similar clothes every day.
One of the teachers once said you can’t decorate a flopped cake. Since then I’ve worn only dark colors, and the long sleeves to cover my scars. If you don’t stand out, it’s easier to be invisible and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.
“Thanks, Birdie,” he mumbles, dropping down into the same spot Reece was just sitting in.
Reece swipes the strawberry lipgloss over her lips as I walk into my room, and then holds it out to me. We get ready in silence for a few minutes. I watch Reece putting on mascara and as she hands me the stick, I meet her soft blue eyes in the mirror’s reflection.
“You okay?” I ask, offering her an encouraging smile. I love Link but I’m closer to Reece. We are a lot alike. We can spend hours together without having to entertain each other, just walking around, or reading. We just love being around each other. We have that kind of friendship where you don’t need to say a word to communicate. One look and I know what she’s trying to tell me.
She shrugs and her eyes flick sadly to mine. We stare at each other for a while, neither wanting to say it out loud. Link has being changing during our senior year, getting restless and short-tempered.
“We don’t want to upset him,” she eventually sighs, reaching for some deodorant.
“Are you going to swim?” I ask to take her mind of the fight.
“No, if you don’t swim I don’t swim,” she says, throwing the lipgloss into her bag.
“Reece,” I wait for her to look up. I hate when she does things like this, avoid things because I don’t do them, “please swim. Just because I don’t swim it doesn’t mean you don’t have to.”
She gives me her pleading look, the one asking me to tell her why I don’t swim, why I’m scared of the dark, why I am the way I am.
When she gives me the look she’s giving me now, I don’t hold her gaze. Call me a coward, but it’s only been seven years since I’ve stepped out of the darkness, and it’s still too soon to deal with my life before Lyman. When I try to think of that life the darkness is always waiting, ready to suffocate me, to suck me right back in. The anxiety squeezes the air from my lungs, building until it takes on different shades black, pulling me under until there is nothing left of me but the skeleton, the terror.
“Let get this party going!” Link calls out, sounding cheerful again.
Reece gets up freeing me from her pleading gaze. It’s a small relief, but it’s opened the can of worms. Tonight is going to suck, I just know it!
The theme park is also part water world, and that is where the party will be. Water and darkness; two things I fear with an ungodly fear. Facing only one of those at a time is terrifying enough, but both at the same time? You have got to be shitting me! It’s going to be hell. My stomach jolts as the realization hits that I have to face those frightening fears at a party where every single person I’ve tried to avoid will be. Cole Trenton will be there!
Oh God, please don’t let me have a panic attack. Not tonight.
Two days after I moved to Lyman I had a panic attack. Link didn’t know I was in the kitchen when he put the light off. I thought I was going to die. It was the first panic attack where I passed out. The year after the police found me I had minor ones up until that big one. I woke up in bed, still feeling scared and confused, but Pastor Beasley was there holding my hand. It’s all he did for a while, and then he told me the story about the pebbles. He said life is full of pebbles. You pick up pebbles along the way; some might be smooth, some rough around the edges - it doesn’t matter what they look like – it only matters what you do with them. Pastor Beasley believes we all throw our pebbles into the same lake and the ripples we make affect the ripples of other people. Some people’s pebbles skid over the water and they have a smooth life. Other people’s pebbles sink, and they don’t get to live that long. Then there are those – like ours, he says we have to ride the ripples together and nudge each other’s ripples along, safely to the other side of the shore.
He held my hand and said he would always be there to nudge me along, just like the ripples.
I’m clinging to what he told me, as Link parks the car right under one of the lights in the parking area of Fun Tides. I stay close to Reece as we follow the noise of laughter. The closer we get the louder the laughter and music gets.
One look at Link’s sparkling brown eyes tells me we won’t be going home early. I’ve never been here, and I’m relieved when we walk through a well-lit entrance. My eyes do a wild dance to take in everything. To my immediate left are some deck chairs. I recognize some of the kids from school standing around in groups. A ticked booth is on my right. Up front is where the music is coming from, a makeshift DJ stage.
I spot Wyatt and my eyes follow him, hoping he’ll lead me to Cole, but then he disappears into a crowd dancing in a shallow pool and I resume my exploration of the park.
“I’m gonna get somethin’ to drink,” Link says, “y’all want somethin’?”
I shake my head and spot a bonfire on a stretch of lawn between two huge tubes and pools. Fire means light. Guess I’ve found my spot to hide.
“I’m going to head over to the bonfire,” I say, and I do just that, not waiting to see if Reece and Link is coming. We can meet up later again. I just want to get to the light right now, that’s all tha
t matters.
As I step up close to the fire, waves of heat hit my face. I’ve learned to live with the uncomfortable heat in summer, always wearing sweaters to cover myself up. The summer night is hot, and with the fire’s heat licking at my face, I feel sweat dampening my neck and back. It’s a small price to pay for the light, because there is no way I’m sacrificing the light for cooler air. It’s either the bonfire or standing at the entrance like an idiot.
Scanning the faces around the bonfire the only familiar ones are Laurie and Aiden’s. If Cole’s cousins are here then he has to be around here somewhere. It’s his party after all.
Loud hollering from behind me has me turning around. Travis, Cooper and a bunch of guy are responsible for the noise. I watch them run up the stairs to the entrance of a huge twisting tube.
“Insane,” I whisper to myself. “There is no way you’ll get me up there.” I watch them disappear into the black mouth of the tube. You can hear their hollering echoing as they come down the twisting snake, and then one for one their screams are drowned in the deep end of the pool. “Like I said, no way in hell.”
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” a voice says right behind me. “You should give it a try.”
My stomach tightens nervously. I keep my eyes on the group of guys now fighting to dunk each other in the pool as my mind races to say something back to Cole.
“Are you enjoyin’ yourself?” he asks. I feel him move from behind me, coming around my left side. I can’t help it, my eyes jump to him the second he comes into my line of sight.
I wonder if it will ever change, this effect he has on me. Every time I see his icy eyes shivers race over my skin.
“I am,” I say softly.
I wrap my arms around myself, trying to make myself smaller. I had a four inch growing spurt over the past three years, but the doctors said I will always be small, because of what happened. So when guys like Cole stands next to me, I’ll always feel dwarfed by their size. Cole and his cousins are a different breed altogether.
There is something about the way they carry themselves. Every girl is head over heels for a Holden brother or Cole Trenton, and then there is Travis to round of the equation. Cole, Travis, Aiden and Wyatt round of the elite four of Lyman.
I dart a nervous glance up and lock eyes with him. It feels like he is looking right through me.
“I’m surprised to see you came. I haven’t seen you at a party before.” The corner of his mouth curves slightly in a trademark family smile, guaranteed to make any girl’s knees go weak, including mine.
“I don’t,” I start to say but the group of guys in the pool breaks out into a loud chanting.
“Dunk her, dunk her, dunk her!”
I hear screeching laugher to my left and see Wyatt running up the stairs with Brooke in his arms. She’s clearly enjoying the attention. At the entrance of the tube he disappears with her. Brooke’s screeching echoes all the way down to where it thankfully gets drowned out by the water.
“Grab Laurie!” Travis screams.
Laurie starts to back up on the other side of the fire when her younger brother gets out of the pool.
“Wyatt, touch me and die!” she yells, but she still turns around and runs from him.
My heart launches into my throat as Wyatt comes closer. If he comes near me I’ll have a heart attack. Instinctively I step around Cole using him to block Wyatt’s view of me.
“Hey, it’s okay. If you don’t want to go in then you just have to say so,” Cole says. He steps into my personal space and takes hold of my arm, right above my elbow.
“I don’t want to go in,” I say, my eyes jumping between Cole and Wyatt who got hold of Peyton. Laurie up and vanished into thin air.
The group in the pool starts to yell for Wyatt to dunk her. I can feel Cole’s eyes on me and I don’t want him to think I’m weirder than he already thinks I am.
“I can’t swim,” I explain.
His smile grows wider, lighting his face up. It also makes his eyes look softer. “Stick with me for the night and Wyatt will leave you alone.”
Did he really just say that? Maybe I imagined it? Did Cole Trenton just tell me to stick with him for the night? I know he kissed me last week, but I didn’t get my hopes up. People like Cole just don’t mix with people like me.
“You,” I clear my throat when my voice sounds too throaty, “you have a party to get back to.”
His hand skims up my left arm, leaving a hot trial right through the material. Placing his arm around my shoulders, he draws me against his side for a quick hug. I’m so stunned that I can hardly take in how it feels.
He chuckles softly as if he’s finding something funny. I hope I don’t have anything on my face. His eyes dart to something over my head before they settle back on mine.
“It’s getting hot here. You want to go sit over by the picnic tables?”
His eyes dart over my head again and I look over my shoulder, following his line of sight. The picnic area is dark, bathed in shadows. I really want to spend time with Cole. I’d be stupid to say no. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But that corner is so dark!
But I won’t be alone. Cole will be there with me.
“Okay,” I murmur, not able to muster much more.
His arm falls from my shoulders. I’m caught off guard again when I feel his hand take hold of mine. His fingers interlace with mine as he leads me away from the fire. My heart thumps faster with every step I take closer to the dark area. I focus on keeping my breaths steady and as the last of the light dies away behind us I take hold of Cole’s arm with my right hand as well, and I hold on for dear life.
I hate letting go of him when we reach the table. I sit down, torn between my need to run back to the light and my want for Cole. He straddles the bench I’m sitting on so he can face me. At first he only sits close to me, one leg going behind me and his other leg touching my knee, with his arm resting on the table behind me. It’s a consolation price knowing he’s this close to me.
“What are your plans now that we’ve graduated?” he asks. It might be my imagination but his voice sounds lower, more intimate.
“I’m not sure yet. Yours?” I’d rather divert the conversation back to him.
His knee nudges mine, sending sparks racing up my hips and beyond.
“We signed up.” He clears his throat.
Even though I can’t see his eyes clearly I still try to search them. I’m not sure I understand what he’s saying.
“We? For what? For army?” I pray I’m assuming wrong. Lyman will be a ghost town without him.
“Yeah,” he says, “the Marines.”
I can’t tear my eyes away from his face.
“Isn’t that harder than just joining the army?” It is, isn’t it? They do the worst kind of things.
“The trainin’ will be intense,” he says. His arm moves from the table to my back and I feel his other hand settle just above my right knee. His touch eases the blow of the news somewhat. “Let’s talk about somethin’ else.”
Good idea. My heart is breaking just thinking about not seeing him around here. I swallow hard on the lump in my throat.
“What would you like to talk about?” I can’t come up with anything right now. He’ll have to think of something.
“Let’s talk about why you’ve been running from me all these years.”
My mouth drops open and I make a sound much like that of a tire deflating. “We talked about that last week.” Oh shit! How do I get myself out of this question? He just won’t let go.
“Yeah, we did, but I’m not buying your answer. Every time I tried to talk to you at the lockers you’d make a run for it. You’re like a lightning bolt, all over the place.”
“I am?” I parrot him like an idiot. “It’s …” I let my eyes drift over the wide expanse of his chest, down to his jean clad legs, so close to mine. “It’s not that I was avoiding you. Not at all.” I don’t know what else to say without giving
something of my past away. I really thought the explanation I gave last week was a good one.
His hand slips down my back and goes around my waist. Cole gives one tug and the side of my body is pressed against his chest. Glancing up at him I lose my breath as he starts to lean into me. I don’t move a single muscle, not even blinking as his lips press against mine.
Oh. My. Freaking. Word!
Cole Trenton is kissing me. Again! I thought he made a mistake the first time, but he’s kissing me again!
His fingers trace the gentlest path across my jawline and I gasp at the delicious sensations jumping from his fingertips to my skin. The moment his tongue slips into my mouth my mind clouds over just like the first time when he kissed me. Every time his tongue brushes against mine my body sizzles to life and I lose more and more control, pressing closer to him.
When he pulls back I’m plastered against him, and pretty much putty in his hands.
“I should’ve kissed you years ago,” he whispers against my mouth. I nod and the movement causes our lips to brush against each other. Cole takes a deep breath before slipping his other hand into my hair. Grabbing some strands, he crushes his mouth to mine. I lose myself in his hot kiss, until I feel his other hand skimming down my left arm. He keeps going down and drops his hand to my waist. Taking hold of the hem of my sweater his fingers slip under the material, and they brush against the bare skin above my jeans.
I grab hold of his hand, stopping him from going any further. Sharing a kiss is one thing, but the second he sees my scars he’ll be out of here as fast as his legs can carry him.
“Sorry,” he whispers against my mouth, “I keep getting’ carried away when it comes to you.” He pulls back and I’m glad to see he’s not angry with me for stopping him. “You want to wait here while I get us somethin’ to drink?”
“No,” the word pops from my lips. “Ah … I’ll walk with you.” There is no way I’m sitting alone here in the dark.
“Sure, come on.” He smiles as he pulls me up next to him, interlacing our fingers again. He draws me closer to him and I soak in the warmth of his body even though it’s warm out.
Saved By Her Page 20
