by Wood, Lauren
I didn’t wait for an answer from Mario. He was nice, but very short against my new apparent yard stick of needs. I didn’t want to believe that I was falling for a man I could never had, but of course I was. I was rather fond of impossible situations apparently. Raw data suggested as much.
“Who is that guy?”
Desiree had the biggest grin on her face and I told her to calm down. He certainly wasn’t my guy.
“I have been looking for you for at least twenty minutes while he told me about his fitness regimen. And something about powdered protein? I don't know. Why am I here again?”
She smiled and pulled me towards the bar. Telling me that I needed a drink.
“You are here because I asked you to come here and you love me. Remember?”
“Ah obligatory party for my best friend. Thanks for that.”
Desiree told me that I was welcome and decided not to acknowledge the way that I had sent it. I certainly wasn't giving her compliments, but she was going to take it that way anyways. It would bother me more and she knew it. It wasn't that I didn't like parties, but Desiree’s parties usually got bigger than normal and it was always a bit overwhelming for me. I liked things a little bit lower key.
“So, are we going to talk about Bobby?”
“Did you like him?”
“Yeah, he was cute and built well. But he said that you two had been out with each other. Made it sound like you guys had sex.”
“He said that?”
“No, but it was the way he was talking. I can tell by the way a guy talks, if he has seen the girl naked or not. There is just something about the way they talk about them. So he didn’t have to tell me.”
She waved me off and told me that I was being crazy, but she didn't deny it and that was enough of an answer. That was a Desiree answer.
“I just don't want your sloppy seconds, but thank you for the offer. I think I'm good at being set up for a while.”
She pouted and told me that I wasn't being fair.
“I just thought that you two would hit it off because you have a lot in common. We didn't get along of because of certain things that you would like, that I didn't.
“And what sort of things?”
“Bobby never wanted to have sex. We did it a couple times and it was good, but he just has a really low sex drive. I couldn't stand doing it the way he wanted to. He only want to have sex a couple times a week. I have to have it twice a day.”
“Why would you say that I would like him because of that?”
“Because you never talk about it. Sometimes I wonder if you’ve had sex before.”
“I have, and I like it just as much as everybody else. But I don't let it control me like other people do. It just seems silly to let it run you.”
“That just makes me think then that you haven't had proper sex.”
I told her that it wasn't the case, but it made me wonder. I did like sex, that was true enough but the way everybody else acted about it, I figured that there had to be something that I was missing. Why was it so life and death for everybody else, when I could take it or leave it?
“Besides the only time I feel something that is out of the ordinary it turns out to be something that I can’t have. I think it is better not to get all wrapped up in it.”
“What is it that you can't have?”
The way she was looking at me, I knew that I shouldn’t have said anything. I would've been much better off just shutting my mouth. Because she was going to hound me until I told her.
“There is just this guy that I work with now, that makes me want to be a little unprofessional.”
“The one you're taking care of his kid?”
I agreed, even though I didn't like the way she said it. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was a nanny now. It certainly wasn't the title that I'd been striving for the six years that I was in college.
“Yeah that guy. Turns out that he's hot as hell and we get along really good. But there is just something between us that I know isn’t right and I try to keep my distance.”
She just shook her head at me like she didn't understand it all . Like I was doing it all wrong.
I liked to think about me and Alex, but I knew better. There was just something about the electricity that I felt between us that bothered me.
“Sounds like you need to stop doing that Betty. Maybe you would feel the same way about relationships and sex as everyone else, if you found someone that really got underneath your skin. That’s all you need to be as crazy as the rest of us.”
“That doesn't even sound good Desiree. Why is it that every euphemism for love is either pain or a psychotic break?”
She just smiled and told me that I would just have to find out for myself. I just shook my head. And I was the crazy one.
Maybe I hadn’t found a man to twist me up right though because I just didn't understand it. The way I felt around Alex was not natural and sometimes even unpleasant. What was so great about that? If that was love and lust, I wasn’t too inclined to keep it going.
Who would want to?
Alex
I was surprised to see Ophelia’s grandmother. She was about as sporadic at seeing her granddaughter, as her own daughter was about seeing her. Neither one of them came around all that much and when they did, there was never any warning. They would just show up and then they were there.
Laverne just popped up that morning and decided that she wanted to take Ophelia overnight. Apparently, she had other grandkids that she was going to be taking care of and she wanted to get all of them together for pictures. I asked my daughter if she wanted to go, and she seemed excited, so it was hard for me to say no. It was suspect to me and a little strange, but I knew that they were just like that.
That left me with a whole day that I wasn't going to work, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I tried calling a friend that I hadn't talked to in a while and he suggested that we go to a party. It was in a neighborhood that I wasn’t familiar with and I would usually just say no, but I felt like I had to do something. It felt like I hadn't had a day off in forever and the idea of just sitting at home seemed downright criminal. It had been too long since I’d had a night on the town, probably about as long as Ophelia’s mother was gone.
We met at the address and it was unlike anything that I was used to. I felt more like a party that I would go to when I was in college. The people that were walking around outside inebriated were definitely not our age.
“Come on Dante you can't be serious.”
“What do you mean?”
“Looks like a bunch of college kids here.”
“There may be a few but I doubt any of these people went to college. A lot of women in their mid-twenties. About the age range that I'm looking for.”
I just shook my head because I didn't know how to answer that. I was in my late thirties and the last thing I was looking for was a twenty-something. That didn't even make sense to me because we were on two very different levels. It was hard to find a woman my age that could keep my interest, let alone someone that age.
I told him that I didn’t want to stay and he promised that we wouldn’t have to stay long?
“Why are we here, really?”
Dante had a smirk on his face and he said that he was here to see someone in particular.
Of course, it was about a girl. It seemed like everything was about a girl in the end.
Disgusted with his antics, I left Dante to his own devices. There was no way that I was going to be able to deal with him at the moment. The only thing that this party had going for it was that it had booze. Since everybody was pretty buzzed that was around me, I figured that it wouldn’t be hard to find something to drink. I went into the large house and started to see less young people. It was a mix, but the young ones seem to be outside, tore up.
Glad to be inside was a little less chaotic, I found the bar and I was dismayed to find not much to drink. There was a lot of variety but
most of the things I would never drink. I needed something a little stiffer than a 10% wine cooler.
Settling on a beer, I grimaced as I drunk some of it and finished it quickly so that I didn't have to taste it. This was certainly not my scene.
Walking away from the bar with another one in my hand I didn't even try to find Dante. He’d dragged me to this thing and if the girl that he was into, gave him the time of day, I doubted I would see him again. I was certainly going to have something to say to him tomorrow. I should've just stayed home and had a real drink.
About ten minutes after I got there, I was ready to leave. In truth, I was ready to leave before I stepped out of the car. I knew that I should at least make the effort to tell Dante goodbye before I went. I had to have better manners then him after all.
“Alex?”
This wasn't the sort of place that I figured I would know anybody, and I was a little shocked to hear my name. I was even more surprised when I turned around and saw my nanny behind me.
“Hey Betty. I can't imagine you would be here.”
“Yeah, this is my friend’s place. She always has parties that are a little more than usual. She likes them over the top. What are you doing here?”
She had a look on her face, like she wasn't sure if I had followed her here or not. I wanted to assure her that I hadn't.
“I am here with a friend, but I don't know where he went off too. He was here about some chick. I was going to go look for Dante and if I can't find him, I'm just going to take off. I can't believe that you're here.”
“Where is Ophelia?”
Of course, she would ask about her. It took my mind off of where it was going at the moment. It was probably for the best. Seeing her like this was even better than the red dress because she wasn't back and gone before I could make a comment. She was standing right in front of me in the black dress that was even tighter than the red one had been. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders and I wanted to pull my fingers through the brown mass of silken strands. She certainly didn't look this way when she was at my house.
“Her grandma came and got her for a little while. She's going to stay the night with her and then she will bring her back in the morning. She doesn't come around very often, so I let her go when she does.”
“What about her mom?”
“Kind of the same.”
“Oh. That must be horrible for Ophelia. She never really talks about her and I never wanted to ask her because I figured it wasn't going to be a good answer. I can't imagine leaving my daughter.”
“It isn't very common, but it does happen.”
“I just can't imagine it. Ophelia is a very sweet girl.”
“To tell you the truth, she usually isn't. She has been kicked out of five private schools in the last year and I know that it has a lot to do with wanting attention. She wants to go everywhere with me and a lot of it was because of her mom running out. It is hard for her to understand why and I really don't know what to tell her because I don't even understand it.”
I looked down at the drink in my hand and tried to remember how many I’d had. Maybe there was more to this beer that I thought there was. I usually didn't give up such information to anybody. I liked to keep my private life, private. For some reason I wanted to share things with Betty. I wanted her to understand me.
“Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I never would have guessed it because she's always been so well behaved.”
“You are the first and I still don't understand why.”
“I don't know. I don't think I do anything special. I really wasn’t around kids all that much, though I do have a few nieces and nephews. They’re just little people, you know?”
“Yeah and people are complicated.”
She giggled, and I loved the sound of it. I liked everything about her and it was hard for me to pull away from the thought that we should see what happens. I knew it was reckless and the wrong thing to do but it didn't change the fact that I wanted to do it. Didn't change the fact that I wanted Betty for more than just a nanny. It felt like I needed her.
Betty
For a moment, when I saw Alex, I thought that he was tracking me down for some reason. I don’t know what I thought, but his eyes were practically glowing now. He was looking at me with need and lust. Every time I wore a dress around him, he would give me the strangest looks.
He really needed to stop looking at me like I was a piece of meat because I wasn't going to be able to think straight. It was hard for me to think, when he was looking at me in such a way. I certainly wasn’t going to be able to give much in the way of conversation with all the attention on me.
“So, did you find your friend?”
I was looking around, when he wasn't burdening me with his gaze and he told me that he wasn't coming up with anything.
“I don't know where the hell Dante was, but I feel little bad leaving without saying something to him.”
“It seems that he left you first.”
“Good point.”
“I think I'm going to take off as well. I came here to see my friend Desiree but there is no telling where she is now, and I feel like I've made my appearance, so that is that. I'm not really too into parties. They are usually quite loud, and I like something a little quieter.”
“Well since you're looking for something a little quieter, why don't we go get a drink at this little bar I know of, not too far from here? At least it would be quiet enough, that we wouldn’t have to yell, to talk.”
“You want to go have a drink?”
He said that he did, and I still wasn't sure what to think of that. I knew that it was a bad idea because of what would happen. The way he was looking at me and what was going through my mind, would not end well. In the end I wanted to, but it would certainly make everything more complicated. I didn't know if I wanted to do that or not. Everything was going so well right now.
“Sure, why not? Just a couple because I have to get back before it’s too late. I want to go hiking in the morning before it gets too hot.”
“Hiking?”
I agreed and he smiled at me. “I don't think I've done something like that in many years.”
“You should sometime Alex. Life can’t always be about work.”
I smiled at her because it was something that Ophelia would say. She was always asking me why I worked so much and even now that I was on the top of my game, I still didn't have an answer for it. Maybe everyone was right, and it was time for me to take a step back and finally take a break.
The bar that I took her to, was a lot quieter than the party we had just been at and I was able to learn a little bit more about my nanny. It was kind of strange too, considering the type of education that she had. In reality she was a lifesaver but her technical term was nanny. The problem with all of that was that I wasn't supposed to want her. It was so cliché and such a problem.
“So why are you not in business? You have certainly worked hard to be there.”
“It is easier to get in, if you know someone. I thought I had some connections, but they didn't really pan out when it came time to graduate. Then I figured that I would start as an assistant and work my way up, but it never seemed to happen. Instead, I would get a better offer from another company and go. It’s kind of became a game now.”
“So, you never gave yourself a chance to move up?”
“I guess you can see it that way. I like to see it as cutting ties before it's too late. Right now, if they want to poach me from each other and pay me more money, then why is it worth it? I can see the writing on the wall pretty quickly when I start with these companies. Like when I started with Ronald. He had me getting him coffee right off the bat and I knew that I was going to go any further than that. He was always going to see me as that kind of assistant and nothing more.”
I could tell that she was frustrated by it and I couldn't imagine having to deal with Ronald on a daily basis. I did a lot of business with him, but it was always him coming to me. T
hat gave me the upper hand and alleviated a lot of the problems that could have arisen between us.
“And now you're a nanny? How does that fit into your master plan?”
She shrugged and took a drink of the glass in front of her.
“I don't think that it really does, but you pay double so at the moment it sounds good. When you first asked me, I thought that it was a crazy idea and that I would hate it but actually don't mind it at all. It has been kind of fun and I really like the teaching part of it. It is so different than what I thought I would be doing at this stage of my life, but who’s to say that is the wrong thing? I feel like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be at the moment.”
I put my hand on hers and waited to see how she would react. Instead of pulling her hand away, she took a drink and smiled at me. I could tell that I made her nervous.
“I feel the same way. We met for a reason.”
Betty had this look on her face for a little bit and then she shook her head.
“I gave up on fairy tales a long time ago Alex, but I guess there nice to think about once in a while.”
“Fairy tales?”
“There is no way that a man like you, should be talking to a girl like me in this way. You are cute and rich and should be dating models or something.”
“It is funny that you say that, because I've heard that so many times before. I guess when a man gets a certain amount of money, they are only supposed to date models and movie stars. Which neither impress me too much. I want someone that I can actually have a conversation with and that is not always the case with those two demographics.
“Well it can't be much more interesting to talk to just a nanny.”
“I would never say that you are ‘just anything’. You’re beautiful, smart and far better than many of the women I have dated in the last few years. Don’t ever sell yourself short Betty, any man would be damn lucky to have a woman like you.”
